DEAL BREAKERS for dating

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  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Ex basketball players :tongue:

    Ok seriously...

    Alcoholics or big drinkers, no work ethic, low personal hygiene... Smokers! Hate smoking!
  • MariaAkeroyd
    MariaAkeroyd Posts: 96 Member
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    Smoker.
  • syntaxxor
    syntaxxor Posts: 86
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    Lack of intelligence, ambition, some kind of drive, overly poor hygiene.

    On the ambition/drive thing; I don't care if you work at Mcdonald's, but you damn well better be trying to be come the store manager, supervisor, or whatever other higher position you can get there.
  • shedoos
    shedoos Posts: 446 Member
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    1. Career - I am ok with a career-woman, or a stay-at-home mom, just not a woman who makes a career out of changing careers. (ie: the kind who spends 10 years in undergrad, changing majors every other semester, finding a new "calling" every 6 months, and who can't hold down a stable job once she finally enters the workforce - we all know the type)

    2. Atheist - Not that she HAS to be the same religion as me - I just don't want someone so arrogant as to assume that they know without a doubt that there is absolutely no chance that there is anything beyond the world we can observe. A person who believes that would probably have an extremely difficult time committing to a highly complex emotion like love, which is not scientifically explainable. (unlike lust / attraction, which is very easily explained through science).

    3. Selfish / inconsiderate

    4. Feminazi - Totally fine with feminism (ie: the recognition of the fact that women are EQUAL to men), just not femiNAZIism (the ridiculous assertion that women are THE SAME AS men).

    :heart: Great answers.
  • estrange22
    estrange22 Posts: 210 Member
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    No work ethic
    any drugs other than occasional pot smoking
    poor relationship with family...I know sometimes it is not their fault but I want what I want
    poor hygiene
    your instead of you're and their instead of they're ....can't stand it!
    BIG ONE: WON'T KEEP A JOB.

    and now I see why I am separated
  • IndyMario
    IndyMario Posts: 236
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    The inability to process simple requests, such as:
    "No mayo" or "extra onions".

    The unwillingness to understand moderate commands, such as:
    "slowly, from the base up" or "use your teeth, gently"

    Or the absolute refusal to comply with:
    "bend over, spread 'em and bite the pillow" or "remember, yellow is back-off a little. Red means stop"
  • LGrill27
    LGrill27 Posts: 337 Member
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    Number 1 deal breaker for me is continuous DRAMA / chronic complainer!
    Everyone has problems in their lives, some more than others. It’s the women that seem to have endless drama in their lives and they blame all their issues on someone or something. Constantly b!tching about their neighbor, boss, co-worker, ex, car, Fox news, cell phone, income, cable bill, red lights, weather etc. HUGE turn off.
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
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    Smoking. (this is #1 for most of my friends too)

    Cant keep up in bed.
    Needs someone to look after them.
    Princess (thinks I should pay for everything, holidays, dinner, etc.)
    Needy (when are you coming over?...I miss you....even when you just saw them)

    I like women who can look after themselves and are confident and happy with who they are.
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
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    It's been a long time since I dated, LOL, but along with acceptable effort at being a productive member of society and sharing my offbeat sense of humor, we need to stand on similar political and spiritual ground. These topics may not matter so much to some, but they do to me.
  • KetoDebbie912
    KetoDebbie912 Posts: 105 Member
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    Smoking
    Drugs
    Lack of ambition/goals
    poor hygiene

    Chemistry is definitely a must!!!
  • KimberlyDCZ
    KimberlyDCZ Posts: 525 Member
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    4 - Not knowing the difference between "There, Their & They're"

    ^^ THIS! Also you're and your. Poor grammar is the biggest deal breaker for me.
    I also don't like smokers or tobacco users as I prefer to be with someone I enjoy kissing.
    Drug users are out as well.

    My man has passed these tests by far.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    Possessive
    Jealous
    No social Life
    Kisses my deriair
    Wants to wear my lingerie
    Talks to self
    No eye contact
    No job
    MY EX
  • starbab311
    starbab311 Posts: 94 Member
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    Making plans and breaking them right before because you are hungover, playing video games or "forgot"
    NO CHANCE!!!

    Making me choose everything & drive!

    I don't care about your ex -- as long as she's your ex we can move on!!

    Coming dress like you are hitting the gym - I tried so you could atleast comb your hair!
  • starbab311
    starbab311 Posts: 94 Member
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    Self-entitled.
    No decent career.
    Lack of intelligence.
    Low sex drive.
    Hypocritical.
    Shorter than 5"8'.

    I seem to meet the criteria so when's the date? (haha)
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    2. Atheist - Not that she HAS to be the same religion as me - I just don't want someone so arrogant as to assume that they know without a doubt that there is absolutely no chance that there is anything beyond the world we can observe. A person who believes that would probably have an extremely difficult time committing to a highly complex emotion like love, which is not scientifically explainable. (unlike lust / attraction, which is very easily explained through science).
    i'm not quite seeing how the ability to be spellbound at the beauty and wonder of this incredible universe, how having a drive to find out the complex reasons for how and why things work are somehow more arrogant than the belief that someone/thing made it.

    also, a lack of belief in something is not the same as an absolute knowledge that it doesn't exist. nor is a belief in something the same as an absolute knowledge that it does exist. that's the deal with faith. you have to take it, or the lack of it, on... y'know... faith?

    actually, some could argue that the belief that you are the most special, amongst all the species in all the worlds, you are the absolute favourite and most important is a more arrogant assumption than that you are a mere speck.

    i mean, look at this:
    http://spaceinvideos.esa.int/Videos/2013/03/MAXI_J1659_152
    how can something like this fail to illustrate how minute you are in the grand scheme of things?

    i don't mind what a person believes in, as long as they don't try to thrust it down people's throats, believe it makes them superior to others who do not share it, or use it to excuse immoral and selfish behaviours. faith isn't a deal breaker for me.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
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    Let's see...

    *Regular drinkers ...no. I already lived with an alcoholic and I'm not doing it again
    *Don't ask me for money... I am not sure of the last time I dated a guy who actually supported himself. Some went to school or worked part time but their parents still supported them. I don't mind this as long as they do not expect me to pay for them or support them (again... been there done that not doing it again)
    *Poor hygiene - I shouldn't have to say this and neither should anyone else on this thread but if you don't brush your teeth and shower on a regular basis that is a problem. I don't expect a whole lot more than that
    *Selfish/self absorbed... I am so so so so tired of people expecting me or flat out asking me to do things for them - like make a big deal for their birthday and buy them gifts and they don't appreciate it and then my birthday rolls around and they are no where to be found. I don't expect a guy to make a big deal but just spend time with me ffs. It really sucks the fun out of doing something nice like that.

    I think the biggest deal breaker lately for me is PUSHY... if I don't know you/barely know you then don't start hounding me to go on a date with you... if I tell you something once (like NO, I DON'T feel comfortable going out on a date with you) then don't ask again!! I don't mind if a *boyfriend* makes some decisions for me but not someone I just met.
  • skinnymalinkyscot
    skinnymalinkyscot Posts: 174 Member
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    The No Job/No Car/No place of his own is basically materialism, not everybody has the confidence or money to learn to drive during their later teenage years , for whatever reason they miss the window of opportunity.

    Their are people who have unsupportive families and are better off moving out and might take a job, any job just to support themselves, its a harsh world out there. Not all jobs pay great wages and after paying their bills there might not be the money left to pay for driving lessons. Then there is the fact there is a global economic recession and some people might never work, not when there might be 400 applicants for each job, sometimes employers split a full time job into 2 part time jobs so that workers have less rights and this leaves the workers with very little scope to live independently, are these people not entitled to happiness?

    On the other hand you get men who live at home into their 30s and how do you know he isnt the worlds greatest saver and thinks its better money management to live at home paying rent to his mother than frittering it away on an expensive crummy flat. Does it spell loser? or does it spell someone who is able to get along with his significant family members in co harmony?

    There are people with a lot to give who dont have a car/job/own their own home, there are people who cant handle the stress of living in a modern urban world , there are all sorts of reasons other than loser if a winner is only measured by what he has.

    there are also people who enjoy their jobs but dont want the added responsibility of being the manager, why is it a better thing to want to be the top banana? what about those people who struggled educationally, how would you feel as their mother if you felt your child was undesirable through no fault of their own? that person might make the most loyal and wonderful partner and father or mother ever.
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
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    Deal Breakers:

    Poor hygiene - this includes grooming your body hair. I'm not a furry beast and I don't want one. MANSCAPE dang it!
    Uneducated - I'm finishing my second masters - not saying you have to have that but a college education is a MUST
    Unemployed - I know the recession has been tough but you have to have a JOB, a career preferably
    Lives with parents - unless they are ill and you are a caregiver.
    Selfish, self absorbed, arrogant
    Clingy - I don't need to talk to you everyday and you must have outside friends
    Uncommunicative - I don't want clingy but I don't want to be ignored either
    Pushy, controlling, possessive
    No mutual interests - history, culture, lit, etc - when I quote Shakespeare I need you to get it.
    Short - I need you to be taller than me (I'm 5'4'' for pete's sake, it's not that hard to be taller than me!)
    Small man part - whoever told you that size does not matter lied.
    Not being able to wear anything other than jeans, a tshirt, and tennis shoes
    No mutual bedroom interests/super vanilla - we must have compatible likings
    KIDS - I don't have any and I don't want to be bothered with yours or your baby's mama
    Unhealthy, none active lifestyle. - I like running, biking, hiking, long walks, etc. I don't want to hear complaining about how far we've been walking and no I don't want to sit in front of the TV all the damn time.
    Does not have manners, proper etiquette
    Smokers - gross - and I'm currently watching my mom die from lung disease after smoking for 35 years - I will not be going through this with anyone else I love, damn it!

    that's all I can think of off the top of my head - I'm sure there are more...and yes, I have a boyfriend; he has met all of my requirements! He actually has a pretty lengthy list as well.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    No more than one baby dady
    Not a hard rule, but with very few exceptions no more than two kids
    Slim or athletic build
    Self suffecient financially
    Country girl
    Non high maintenance
    Common interests (mainly fitness and the outdoors)
    Shorter than me, preferebly 5'6" or less
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
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    Deal Breakers:

    Poor hygiene - this includes grooming your body hair. I'm not a furry beast and I don't want one. MANSCAPE dang it!
    Uneducated - I'm finishing my second masters - not saying you have to have that but a college education is a MUST
    Unemployed - I know the recession has been tough but you have to have a JOB, a career preferably
    Lives with parents - unless they are ill and you are a caregiver.
    Selfish, self absorbed, arrogant
    Clingy - I don't need to talk to you everyday and you must have outside friends
    Uncommunicative - I don't want clingy but I don't want to be ignored either
    Pushy, controlling, possessive
    No mutual interests - history, culture, lit, etc - when I quote Shakespeare I need you to get it.
    Short - I need you to be taller than me (I'm 5'4'' for pete's sake, it's not that hard to be taller than me!)
    Small man part - whoever told you that size does not matter lied.
    Not being able to wear anything other than jeans, a tshirt, and tennis shoes
    No mutual bedroom interests/super vanilla - we must have compatible likings
    KIDS - I don't have any and I don't want to be bothered with yours or your baby's mama
    Unhealthy, none active lifestyle. - I like running, biking, hiking, long walks, etc. I don't want to hear complaining about how far we've been walking and no I don't want to sit in front of the TV all the damn time.
    Does not have manners, proper etiquette
    Smokers - gross - and I'm currently watching my mom die from lung disease after smoking for 35 years - I will not be going through this with anyone else I love, damn it!

    that's all I can think of off the top of my head - I'm sure there are more...and yes, I have a boyfriend; he has met all of my requirements! He actually has a pretty lengthy list as well.

    You have a lot.... Why is "College" educated a must?

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