Losing weight to get back at an ex.
We all have many reasons why we want to lose weight. One reason I hear often is to get back at an ex and show her/him what their missing. Or, to show off to a person who turned you down. I must admit, there is a tiny piece of me that wants to do that. However, that got me thinking about a couple of things:
1. Aren’t you assuming your ex broke up with you because of your weight? Did that person turn you down because of your weight, or is that what you think?
2. If your ex did break up with you because of your weight, and you lose weight, aren’t you doing what they wanted you to do? So in essence, weren’t they right?
3. Your ex did not break up with the “new” you. So when you show off your new body to that person, you are showing him/her something different. It would be like if you had a car that was, in your opinion, a Junker, so you got rid of it. Someone else buys that car, fixes it up, and now it’s “beautiful.” Well of course you would want the car now. (Obviously you can’t compare a car to a person, just using it as an analogy).
So what are your thoughts? Do you have a little payback in mind for losing weight? Remember this is just for discussion.
1. Aren’t you assuming your ex broke up with you because of your weight? Did that person turn you down because of your weight, or is that what you think?
2. If your ex did break up with you because of your weight, and you lose weight, aren’t you doing what they wanted you to do? So in essence, weren’t they right?
3. Your ex did not break up with the “new” you. So when you show off your new body to that person, you are showing him/her something different. It would be like if you had a car that was, in your opinion, a Junker, so you got rid of it. Someone else buys that car, fixes it up, and now it’s “beautiful.” Well of course you would want the car now. (Obviously you can’t compare a car to a person, just using it as an analogy).
So what are your thoughts? Do you have a little payback in mind for losing weight? Remember this is just for discussion.
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Replies
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When my ex wife dumped me she told me "you are too fat to have sex with" (mind you, I was 5'11" and 200lbs at the time). I was already in the midst of losing weight (down 10 at that point), so I just continued to lose the weight for myself. I'm lucky I haven't had to see her or deal with her in 3 years, but as a whole, I could care less what she thinks and now I'm trying to lose weight (I gained 40 or so in about a year) I have now for myself and nobody else. I miss the energy I used to have and I want that back.0
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Why would I still be thinking of an ex? Naw I just went to college and got fat i'm trying to get back a flat stomach.
It might be a little insecure to have an ex as the main reason for losing weight, however if you did it for yourself and so happen to run into them that could be a plus. To show them that you got hotter and happier and you are doing even better without them around.0 -
My ex was gay. It's not working.0
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When my ex wife dumped me she told me "you are too fat to have sex with" (mind you, I was 5'11" and 200lbs at the time). I was already in the midst of losing weight (down 10 at that point), so I just continued to lose the weight for myself. I'm lucky I haven't had to see her or deal with her in 3 years, but as a whole, I could care less what she thinks and now I'm trying to lose weight (I gained 40 or so in about a year) I have now for myself and nobody else. I miss the energy I used to have and I want that back.
If you were too fat to her, I must be a whale....lol0 -
I never lost weight specifically to get back at an ex- but I did let it push me harder. My ex was 6'2'' and 400 lbs, and he actually brought me down a lot in the 7 years we were together. We spurred eachother's bad habits. I am the one who broke it off with him, because we just weren't right for eachother, but as I lose weight now I think to myself "I hope it inspires him. I hope he loses weight too" because I still want good things for him even if I don't want to be with him. Plus maybe REALLY deep down, I want him to see what he lost. Lol. He never saw my potential and never thought I could do it.0
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Being dumped is absolutely what caused me to take a good look at myself and realize I needed to change. I was sure once I was "skinny", I would then be attractive and he would come running back. When the weight came off though, I realized I didn't even need him anymore. I was (still am) happy all on my own.1
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Better to lose weight to get back at an ex, than to do it to get an ex back.0
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If weight is involved in the breakup, there are really deeper issues. I learned this the hard way. My ex husband was very mean to me about my weight. I gained 7-10 lbs when we were married, but at my top weight during our marriage, I was maybe 135 and still very attractive. It was his issue. In no way shape or form has any weight loss effort been for him or any other old ex boyfriend.
I can't deny that I haven't thought when I've run across pictures of old boyfriends and they've gotten fat or bald or whatever that there is some smugness in the fact that I'm looking pretty tasty these days.
But I certainly wouldn't seek any of them out to flaunt it, that's just silly. And besides when you find the right person, weight will never be an issue, which I've been very blessed to witness with my husband.0 -
Being dumped is absolutely what caused me to take a good look at myself and realize I needed to change. I was sure once I was "skinny", I would then be attractive and he would come running back. When the weight came off though, I realized I didn't even need him anymore. I was (still am) happy all on my own.
Good
Hopefully you realize that even if you gained weight. You are beautiful. 0 -
I never lost weight specifically to get back at an ex- but I did let it push me harder. My ex was 6'2'' and 400 lbs, and he actually brought me down a lot in the 7 years we were together. We spurred eachother's bad habits. I am the one who broke it off with him, because we just weren't right for eachother, but as I lose weight now I think to myself "I hope it inspires him. I hope he loses weight too" because I still want good things for him even if I don't want to be with him. Plus maybe REALLY deep down, I want him to see what he lost. Lol. He never saw my potential and never thought I could do it.
We see your potiential. Great job.0 -
If I were divorced, I would totally try to look as smokin as possible to make my ex regret treating me like a disposable piece of *kitten*, and for never paying attention to me until the rare occasion he thinks I look like a nice place to stick it. Also for rejecting me when I come to him looking for love, sex, attention, affection, friendship etc... and for not supporting me ever in any thing I have ever done, and for only being concerned with making sure he gets to get out and do what ever he needs/wants to do while I have been stuck in the house with the kids day in and out with no chance to do anything for my self! :explode:0
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If weight is involved in the breakup, there are really deeper issues. I learned this the hard way. My ex husband was very mean to me about my weight. I gained 7-10 lbs when we were married, but at my top weight during our marriage, I was maybe 135 and still very attractive. It was his issue. In no way shape or form has any weight loss effort been for him or any other old ex boyfriend.
I can't deny that I haven't thought when I've run across pictures of old boyfriends and they've gotten fat or bald or whatever that there is some smugness in the fact that I'm looking pretty tasty these days.
But I certainly wouldn't seek any of them out to flaunt it, that's just silly. And besides when you find the right person, weight will never be an issue, which I've been very blessed to witness with my husband.
You were always tasty. Glad you found someone special.0 -
Better to lose weight to get back at an ex, that to do it to get an ex back.
:laugh: LOVE this!0 -
When my ex wife dumped me she told me "you are too fat to have sex with" (mind you, I was 5'11" and 200lbs at the time). I was already in the midst of losing weight (down 10 at that point), so I just continued to lose the weight for myself. I'm lucky I haven't had to see her or deal with her in 3 years, but as a whole, I could care less what she thinks and now I'm trying to lose weight (I gained 40 or so in about a year) I have now for myself and nobody else. I miss the energy I used to have and I want that back.
If you were too fat to her, I must be a whale....lol
Agreed. 200 lbs at 5'11" is not fat, unless you literally had all of it in your belly. I spent most of my life well over 200 lbs and I am 5'7". Hell I am 189 now at 5'7" and look pretty good. I am thinking it wasn't your weight. You are better off without her. Keep up the attitude.0 -
If I were divorced, I would totally try to look as smokin as possible to make my ex regret treating me like a disposable piece of *kitten*, and for never paying attention to me until the rare occasion he thinks I look like a nice place to stick it. Also for rejecting me when I come to him looking for love, sex, attention, affection, friendship etc... and for not supporting me ever in any thing I have ever done, and for only being concerned with making sure he gets to get out and do what ever he needs/wants to do while I have been stuck in the house with the kids day in and out with no chance to do anything for my self! :explode:
Personal experience? Good thing you are already smokin.0 -
Ive constantly had issues with my body, I was a size UK 12 when I broke up with my ex a few years ago and he constantly called me fat after we broke up, he would tell me I wouldnt get anyone else because of my weight etc, unfortunetly because I had insecurities I believed him and just stopped eating, became ill and had A LOT of health problems! Then I met my current partner (an amazing man!) who restored all of my faith in myself and made me realise if I want to lose weight I have to do it for me! And here I am, not giving two sh*ts about my horrible ex, who, hasnt had a girlfriend since me! Karma is a *****!0
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Ive constantly had issues with my body, I was a size UK 12 when I broke up with my ex a few years ago and he constantly called me fat after we broke up, he would tell me I wouldnt get anyone else because of my weight etc, unfortunetly because I had insecurities I believed him and just stopped eating, became ill and had A LOT of health problems! Then I met my current partner (an amazing man!) who restored all of my faith in myself and made me realise if I want to lose weight I have to do it for me! And here I am, not giving two sh*ts about my horrible ex, who, hasnt had a girlfriend since me! Karma is a *****!
awesome story. You deserve the best 0 -
If I were divorced, I would totally try to look as smokin as possible to make my ex regret treating me like a disposable piece of *kitten*, and for never paying attention to me until the rare occasion he thinks I look like a nice place to stick it. Also for rejecting me when I come to him looking for love, sex, attention, affection, friendship etc... and for not supporting me ever in any thing I have ever done, and for only being concerned with making sure he gets to get out and do what ever he needs/wants to do while I have been stuck in the house with the kids day in and out with no chance to do anything for my self! :explode:
Personal experience? Good thing you are already smokin.
Garsh... thanks!0 -
When my ex wife dumped me she told me "you are too fat to have sex with" (mind you, I was 5'11" and 200lbs at the time). I was already in the midst of losing weight (down 10 at that point), so I just continued to lose the weight for myself. I'm lucky I haven't had to see her or deal with her in 3 years, but as a whole, I could care less what she thinks and now I'm trying to lose weight (I gained 40 or so in about a year) I have now for myself and nobody else. I miss the energy I used to have and I want that back.
:drinker: for do this for yourself!0 -
My marriage didn't end because of my weight. However, there's a little part of me that can't wait until I see him next so he can see how smokin' I am and be reminded, yet again, of how badly he screwed up in letting me walk away, even though I have absolutely ZERO interest in him personally! LOL :laugh:
I'm happily remarried to a guy who thought I was smokin' hot before I lost the weight, but I think digs the body even more with the weight loss. I'm FAR more concerned about how he feels about me. :flowerforyou:0 -
When my ex wife dumped me she told me "you are too fat to have sex with" (mind you, I was 5'11" and 200lbs at the time). I was already in the midst of losing weight (down 10 at that point), so I just continued to lose the weight for myself. I'm lucky I haven't had to see her or deal with her in 3 years, but as a whole, I could care less what she thinks and now I'm trying to lose weight (I gained 40 or so in about a year) I have now for myself and nobody else. I miss the energy I used to have and I want that back.
If you were too fat to her, I must be a whale....lol
Agreed. 200 lbs at 5'11" is not fat, unless you literally had all of it in your belly. I spent most of my life well over 200 lbs and I am 5'7". Hell I am 189 now at 5'7" and look pretty good. I am thinking it wasn't your weight. You are better off without her. Keep up the attitude.
Haha, oh it wasn't just that, but that was definitely a factor, she was a crazy health nut and I was not. I know I'm for the better and she did me the biggest favor anyone has ever done for me. The two best things to ever happen to me were getting dumped by her and getting laid off by my old company, both taught me valuable lessons and got me out of situations I wasn't happy in. And I've greatly improved in both aspects since then.0 -
Ive constantly had issues with my body, I was a size UK 12 when I broke up with my ex a few years ago and he constantly called me fat after we broke up, he would tell me I wouldnt get anyone else because of my weight etc, unfortunetly because I had insecurities I believed him and just stopped eating, became ill and had A LOT of health problems! Then I met my current partner (an amazing man!) who restored all of my faith in myself and made me realise if I want to lose weight I have to do it for me! And here I am, not giving two sh*ts about my horrible ex, who, hasnt had a girlfriend since me! Karma is a *****!
You are a beautiful gal. I hope he is biting his knuckles anytime he passes you on the street!0 -
I admit there's a part of me that wants to toss a little revenge in my weight loss as well.
My ex is 6 feet under so "getting back" is not the reason but the memory of standing in sexy lace and heels infront of him and being told his upcoming raid on WoW was more important left a destinctive mark.
I guess you can say that I found my inner "Frankly my Dear I don't give a D@mn" voice and I use it to take charge of own life.
However, I would love to get to my healthy weight and go to a high school reunion on a motorcycle and make the HS jocks wet themselves at the sight of the shy fat girl they bullied those years ago
Yes, that revenge would be sweet.0 -
My ex used it as an excuse.... I had two babies in two years and was still nursing our 10 month old... He told me I wasn't attractive anymore. I looked at him like he was alien and told him that the weight would come off when I finished nursing in a couple of months... He proceeded to tell me, it wouldn't matter, cause I would always be "big"... what he meant to say is he found someone he thought was cuter to sleep with.
I stopped nursing a month after our split and 4 months later had lost the 40 extra pounds to weigh the same as pre-pregnancy from our first baby (but am a size smaller because I started lifting when the baby was 6 months old which has made me in much better shape).
Now I am thinner than his "girlfriend"... and am having the time of my life dating handsome, successful men who don't mind the fact that I am "big".. which is code for tall (5'10) and athletic.0 -
If I saw you with sexy lace and heels on, I would pass out from over excitment.0
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Better to lose weight to get back at an ex, that to do it to get an ex back.
We, should be best friends.0 -
My ex used it as an excuse.... I had two babies in two years and was still nursing our 10 month old... He told me I wasn't attractive anymore. I looked at him like he was alien and told him that the weight would come off when I finished nursing in a couple of months... He proceeded to tell me, it wouldn't matter, cause I would always be "big"... what he meant to say is he found someone he thought was cuter to sleep with.
I stopped nursing a month after our split and 4 months later had lost the 40 extra pounds to weigh the same as pre-pregnancy from our first baby (but am a size smaller because I started lifting when the baby was 6 months old which has made me in much better shape).
Now I am thinner than his "girlfriend"... and am having the time of my life dating handsome, successful men who don't mind the fact that I am "big".. which is code for tall (5'10) and athletic.
Thats what I am talking about. I bet you got a line....Hottie0 -
My ex used it as an excuse.... I had two babies in two years and was still nursing our 10 month old... He told me I wasn't attractive anymore. I looked at him like he was alien and told him that the weight would come off when I finished nursing in a couple of months... He proceeded to tell me, it wouldn't matter, cause I would always be "big"... what he meant to say is he found someone he thought was cuter to sleep with.
I stopped nursing a month after our split and 4 months later had lost the 40 extra pounds to weigh the same as pre-pregnancy from our first baby (but am a size smaller because I started lifting when the baby was 6 months old which has made me in much better shape).
Now I am thinner than his "girlfriend"... and am having the time of my life dating handsome, successful men who don't mind the fact that I am "big".. which is code for tall (5'10) and athletic.
Oh my lord, that first paragraph about made me cry. I know how that feels. I was a week overdue with my second baby and I was doing my best to get my husband to have sex so Maybe I would go into labor. I even had the OB/GYN write a "prescription" for sex. Al I could ever get from him was an eye roll and a limp biscuit, and some nasty remarks about my looks. Glad you went on to do better than your ex!0 -
When my ex wife dumped me she told me "you are too fat to have sex with" (mind you, I was 5'11" and 200lbs at the time). I was already in the midst of losing weight (down 10 at that point), so I just continued to lose the weight for myself. I'm lucky I haven't had to see her or deal with her in 3 years, but as a whole, I could care less what she thinks and now I'm trying to lose weight (I gained 40 or so in about a year) I have now for myself and nobody else. I miss the energy I used to have and I want that back.
That's messed up. I wouldn't care what she thinks either.0 -
I am with a wonderful man who finds me attractive as I am, so why would I care what an ex thought? I will admit that I'm trying to be more attractive in general though.0
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