Friend requests. Message vs no message

124

Replies

  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I agree with terrie. It always strikes me as a bit egotistical when someone says out on their profile page that they won't accept without a message. It is broadcasting how "popular" you are. Just don't accept if there is no message. That's fine. I think it is a little weird to friend somebody you don't know anything about. But, don't tell us about it.
    I always send a message. Seems only normal, natural and cordial. When I see somebody I want to friend, there is a reason.

    I am by no means popular on here. Like at all. I have a profile that is open to members --- I would make a terrible friend for some -- if they don't at least say "hi" to me, I will know they didn't read my profile and they are running the risk of being offended by my humor.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    I never get creepy messages. </3
    Jealous.

    To the rescue!
    -waits patiently-

    I sent you a message, but now you have a fr with a perverted message as well. You're welcome.
  • Fat_Jimi
    Fat_Jimi Posts: 81
    I always add a message, some times I get a reply and an add some times just a reply sometimes nothing
  • KevDaniel
    KevDaniel Posts: 449 Member
    I don't care really, I mean come on why are we so choosy, the more support the better. If they are annoying I will gracefully remove them. I am not getting married just friending someone on a fitness site.
  • bgelliott
    bgelliott Posts: 610 Member
    I will accept all friend reuqests regardless of messages or not but if the person friends me and never says 2 words to me after a couple months I may delete them.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    I dont give a *kitten*.....i think "sending a message" is overrated.

    I accept everyone...
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
    Who am I kidding, I rarely ever accept them either. The FR has to be oozing awesome for me to accept.

    This just wants to make me try and friend you to check my awesome levels...
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    A message matters not to me. Come one come all. I only delete if I catch someone being mean more than once.

    I send one when I friend-request, though. I'm kind of chatty that way.
  • reedkaus
    reedkaus Posts: 250 Member
    i personally don't care. however, i have had a few gems, when people have added me without including a message, and when i go to their profile i see they require others to send messages. haha, as long as people practice what they preach then hey, do what you want
  • reedkaus
    reedkaus Posts: 250 Member
    I always send a message, and I accept either way.
    BUT THEN..
    Then I don't know if, when they send a message w/ request, if I should reply to their message with a message or write on their page or just accept.
    And then I overthink it.
    And then I panic about coming off as a jerk.
    tumblr_m59nznvaLj1qhmb0a.jpg
    Life is hard.

    haha this is awesome
  • Tonnina
    Tonnina Posts: 979 Member
    I decline if you don't offer up a little about why you want to friend me (similar goals, starting points, age, height...)
    I always offer up something about why I wanted to request to be friends, usually it's because of the points listed above but sometimes it's because they are inspiring or I want to inspire them.

    I feel it's lazy and a little rude to not say at least a little something... I don't need your whole life story but DANG don't just send me a blank request!!
  • Elif84
    Elif84 Posts: 287 Member
    I always send a message with a friend request and I decline if there is no message when I receive a request. I just feel it's common courtesy to send a message.
  • CLFrancois
    CLFrancois Posts: 472 Member
    I accept everyone cause I hate thinking I may not accept someone that has 'something', ya know?
    I put a message in 50/50. Sometimes I dont know what to say, other times there was a thread or something they said.
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
    I usually accept everyone but definitely prefer a message. . I don't send many fr but I always include a message. Seems like the polite thing to do so they have some sort of idea for why you want to be friends.
  • Klein1475
    Klein1475 Posts: 248 Member
    I don't care really, I mean come on why are we so choosy, the more support the better. If they are annoying I will gracefully remove them. I am not getting married just friending someone on a fitness site.

    Exactly......
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    When I first started venturing out into the forums, I had FRed a few people. After a few days, they were all butt hurt and offended by things I said. So, they defriended me and ran away with some not so kind words about my offensiveness or crudeness. So, after that I decided I wasn't ever going to send a FR again. I've done pretty good by that. I want to make sure people know what they are getting into so they don't go for something that they didn't want in the first place. SO, no. I don't send messages with my FRs because I don't send FRs.

    I also do not accept FRs that don't have a message. I'm pretty clear about what I want to hear in my profile. The reason I am so strict on this is I had some psycho woman FR me and she was scary creepy. Enough to force me to change my username and stay away from the forums for a couple of weeks. She looked me up, and knew my kids extracurricular activities and my address, and all kinds of information she should have just asked me about. She did some scary stuff. Scary. So, no message = no acceptance.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    I usually accept female request with or without a message.
    Guys I need a message... and one that's not too creepy. ;)

    okay I guess I will never be adding you then
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I agree with terrie. It always strikes me as a bit egotistical when someone says out on their profile page that they won't accept without a message. It is broadcasting how "popular" you are. Just don't accept if there is no message. That's fine. I think it is a little weird to friend somebody you don't know anything about. But, don't tell us about it.
    I always send a message. Seems only normal, natural and cordial. When I see somebody I want to friend, there is a reason.

    I am by no means popular on here. Like at all. I have a profile that is open to members --- I would make a terrible friend for some -- if they don't at least say "hi" to me, I will know they didn't read my profile and they are running the risk of being offended by my humor.

    I didnt' read your profile until I got your FR. Glad that came.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I prefer well educated, serious fitness types, with a sense of humor, who don't take themselves too seriously, and with some level of self awareness. The FR message, experience in the forums or what have you, that's how I judge.
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    Do you decline friend requests if there is no message?
    Do you send friend requests without adding a message?

    I tend to decline requests without messages, and always send a message when I want to add somebody. Now I'm wondering what other people do.


    I do the same
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    I don't send friend requests often but when I do I always include a message.
    I accept friend requests without messages all the time. I think the majority of the requests I get are because they see I have lost 100lbs and they are just wanting to be able to reference my story to remind themselves it can be done. I see no harm in that. I might have a really big list but if someone messages me I can still always find the time to message back so hopefully I am not disappointing them. :flowerforyou:
  • KeepCalmNGetyaSweatOn
    KeepCalmNGetyaSweatOn Posts: 361 Member
    It's funny how there is an "etiquette" when requesting or adding friends. That's stupid to me. If some one sends me a request I'll accept it. If they're flaky or turn out to be a douche I "unfriend" them. It makes things pretty easy. LoL
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Messages are helpful.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    I like messages with my FR's, especially if your profile is private.
  • traceyjj
    traceyjj Posts: 406 Member
    When I first started here I only used the site to log food/exercise and wasnt aware of the community side of the site... now I only have a few friends, nearly all of which I sent out fr with messages. I think I would prefer people to send messages in a fr, but hell, I'm not fussy... I'd accept anyone to be my friend - does that sound too desperate :laugh:
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    Never gave this much thought. I accept requests from people with photos, without photos, without comments, without an open profile... obviously if they took the time to add me, they find me interesting. Never really thought about it and never had a problem with creepy people. I have yet to delete anyone from MFP. Ironically, I'm a fairly private person who is picky about adding people to FB...

    Sometimes if someone peaks my interest and I send a friend request, I will tell them why or if their profile specifies to do so.
  • kdcj17
    kdcj17 Posts: 73 Member
    I've only sent to those I've known on FB for years and only got a couple from here on MFP.
    Doesn't matter either way.
    However, I'm less likely to accept males that seem creepish, I'm married happily and not into the flirt thing..
    Girls though I will likely accept. A note would be nice, but not necessary.
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
    I accept EVERYONE. Don't care message, no meessage, usually for every 10 you will end up with one active good helpful friend
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Message means they actually took the time to think out the friend request, no message I feel like they want that friends list just to get bigger...
  • fufi04
    fufi04 Posts: 471 Member
    It's funny how there is an "etiquette" when requesting or adding friends. That's stupid to me. If some one sends me a request I'll accept it. If they're flaky or turn out to be a douche I "unfriend" them. It makes things pretty easy. LoL

    This! :D

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