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    How to dump a guy without being mean?

    Posts: 1,651 Member
    edited January 20 in Chit-Chat
    But still making him understand it's really truly over. I tried the "it's not you, it's me" it didn't go so well. Help a sister out.

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    Replies

    • Posts: 14,025 Member
      "I am sorry, but we are just moving in two different directions. You want X and I want Y. It isnt fair for either of us to have to ignore what we want to appease the other, that will only lead to resentment in the future. There is nothing wrong with either of us, we just need to accept that it isnt going to work and move on from there. I think you are a wonderful guy amd I wish you alk the happiness in the world."
    • Posts: 88
      just tell him you are banging flickenstein now and he will understand
    • Posts: 4,375 Member
      Text message.
    • Posts: 7,646 Member
      Text, email, IM, twitter, Instagram, FB.
    • Posts: 1,651 Member
      Text message.

      Did that. FB message as well. Also set my status to "Single" annnnd unfriended him. Can it get any more clear in this day and age?
    • Posts: 3,499 Member
      if you have done it nicely....and he's not getting it....then you just may have to get mean...

      it's hard......but some men need that....

      they really do.
    • Posts: 429 Member
      Your more into petting the cat....he may ask to watch tho
    • Posts: 373 Member
      Cold Turkey. Doing it nicely makes us guys think that there might be something left. If you do it cold turkey, and blunt, i'll get the picture and never call again. Try it. It sounds mean, but its actually the only way that works.
    • Posts: 2,186 Member
      "I'm breaking up with you"......
    • Posts: 2,780 Member
      Just tell him the truth. You don't see it going anywhere, you're just not happy in the relationship anymore etc.
      That’s what I did. I told my ex that while he was a great guy, he wasn’t the right person for me. It got to the point where our whole relationship was a series of compromises from both of us, and it wasn’t worth it. So I told him exactly that, no hard feelings.
    • Posts: 7,010 Member
      But still making him understand it's really truly over. I tried the "it's not you, it's me" it didn't go so well. Help a sister out.

      Ok, To avoid getting a strike I am going to be very general about my response....If you need more detail PM me and I can help.


      Invite a friend who is a girl over and "hang out" with all three of you.....

      Then tell him that it's not him it's you and you have decided you like girls instead

      He might be disappointed but he will be so happy about "hanging out" with you and your friend he will get over it.
    • Posts: 1,167 Member
      I feel your pain, am in the same situation at the moment.....I'm leaning towards no contact at the moment.
      It's just too painful....especially when they want you back....
    • Posts: 3,472 Member
      Move
    • Posts: 358 Member
      Send Taylor Swift to his house to do it for you.
    • Posts: 10,477 Member
      Wait... What is he still doing? Is he acting like you simply didn't break up? Begging for a second chance? Stalking?


      After all you've done, I'm baffled.
    • Posts: 845 Member
      Get a restraining order. "Turns out it really is you, not me."
    • Posts: 196 Member
      Cut off all contact with him. Seriously, do not try to be his friend right now. He is thinking you two still have a chance. My daughter had to do that because the guy kept asking to get back together. He couldn't understand the "just friends thing". It sounds mean but may be the only way.
    • Posts: 2,403 Member
      show previous quotes

      Did that. FB message as well. Also set my status to "Single" annnnd unfriended him. Can it get any more clear in this day and age?

      Two words: restraining order.

      In all seriousness, cutting off contact completely may be your best bet.
    • Posts: 5,214 Member
      "Hey, you don't seem to be getting the message and I don't want to be mean but your behavior is stressing me out and making me unhappy. Our relationship is over and I don't want to pursue a friendship".

      Then stop responding to him, block him if you have to.
    • Posts: 1,741 Member
      Tell him you are never, ever, ever getting back together. Like ever.
    • Posts: 1,651 Member
      Wait... What is he still doing? Is he acting like you simply didn't break up? Begging for a second chance? Stalking?


      After all you've done, I'm baffled.

      I changed my textplus number but kept my regular cell number, so he keeps texting, keeps texting, saying he loves me. I finally messaged him back, to tell him AGAIN that I do not want to be with him anymore, I said he couldn't call me on the phone, or come back on my FB, but that we could still talk as friends, he immediately goes right back into asking me who I am talking to and trying to tell me what to do, which is the main reason I dumped him in the first place. So now, I feel like I have to dump him ALL OVER, even though I never said I'd changed my mind. It's just frustrating.
    • Posts: 5,030 Member
      Wait... What is he still doing? Is he acting like you simply didn't break up? Begging for a second chance? Stalking?


      After all you've done, I'm baffled.

      This. You said you defriended him on facebook but is he still calling? Are you still talking to him? If you even answer a text from him, he still thinks there's a chance. You need to ignore him completely. Is he showing up on your door step? That's stalker and needs policee involvement.
    • Posts: 4,021 Member
      If you broke up with him in a text, you can't really be all that concerned about his feelings. You told him it's over. Move on.
    • Posts: 2,403 Member
      show previous quotes

      I changed my textplus number but kept my regular cell number, so he keeps texting, keeps texting, saying he loves me. I finally messaged him back, to tell him AGAIN that I do not want to be with him anymore, I said he couldn't call me on the phone, or come back on my FB, but that we could still talk as friends, he immediately goes right back into asking me who I am talking to and trying to tell me what to do, which is the main reason I dumped him in the first place. So now, I feel like I have to dump him ALL OVER, even though I never said I'd changed my mind. It's just frustrating.

      Controlling and possessive... not a good combination. I have a feeling that had you stayed, the relationship could have become abusive (those signs are right there in his behavior). Really, don't worry about being nice at this point, just worry about being safe. Cut off contact and don't open the door to him being your friend.
    • Posts: 1,651 Member
      If you broke up with him in a text, you can't really be all that concerned about his feelings. You told him it's over. Move on.

      It wasn't JUST a text. Geez, I'm not 15. I just meant I told him in every way possible.
    • Posts: 145 Member
      Tell him to listen to the radio and that you dedicated a song to him. And then have them play Taylor Swift's we're never ever ever getting back together.
    • Posts: 374
      Just call him and be perfectly honest with him. Tell him the reason you want to break up. He's going to be hurt at first, but he'll respect your honesty and will get over it quicker.
    • Posts: 2,780 Member
      I changed my textplus number but kept my regular cell number, so he keeps texting, keeps texting, saying he loves me. I finally messaged him back, to tell him AGAIN that I do not want to be with him anymore, I said he couldn't call me on the phone, or come back on my FB, but that we could still talk as friends, he immediately goes right back into asking me who I am talking to and trying to tell me what to do, which is the main reason I dumped him in the first place. So now, I feel like I have to dump him ALL OVER, even though I never said I'd changed my mind. It's just frustrating.
      And you are worried about being mean? Tell him to stop contacting you, and that you are not interested in being friends. Also, let him know that his constant texting is making you very uncomfortable
    • Posts: 704 Member
      show previous quotes

      I changed my textplus number but kept my regular cell number, so he keeps texting, keeps texting, saying he loves me. I finally messaged him back, to tell him AGAIN that I do not want to be with him anymore, I said he couldn't call me on the phone, or come back on my FB, but that we could still talk as friends, he immediately goes right back into asking me who I am talking to and trying to tell me what to do, which is the main reason I dumped him in the first place. So now, I feel like I have to dump him ALL OVER, even though I never said I'd changed my mind. It's just frustrating.

      'Actually, after the way you're behaving, I've changed my mind about the being friends part. Now **** off out of my life and never contact me again.'
    • Posts: 3,927 Member
      "Oh, bless your heart" and a head pat before you walk away.

      Tell him you know the perfect girl for him then hand him a business card for an escort service.

      Next time he calls, say "who?"

      Or,

      Just stop responding to his texts and/or calls.
    This discussion has been closed.

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