Fake support!?



  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
    there are people who struggle with logging everyday so when they do it is a good job regardless of whats in their diary. hopefully after awhile of constant logging they will start to make some changes.
  • Why do people say "great diary" or "good job" when I am 1000+ calories over my daily limit. Their is nothing great about that and it frustrates me that people will give me that false sense of motivation. It is not making me or other people any better, the truth is what helps people be aware of their mistakes and helps them grow. So stop the madness and just be honest or don't respond at all. Agree or disagree?

    Agreed. I don't think people necessarily mean it as "fake", but realistically it's not helping anyone to be encouraged about eating 1000 calories over their limit.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,621 Member
    If someone is your friend on here and you don't feel like they are giving you the kind of support you need then you should just tell them. Send them a message and respectfully let them know that you disagree with what they are saying on your newsfeed. They won't change if they don't know it bothers you. If they get offended or upset then don't be friends with them.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    LOOK! You can only SUPPORT someone when you know and UNDERSTAND them. THEN, it takes fashioning what you say and/or do in a manner that they are receptive. THAT means you KNOW and CARE about the person...That IS NOT what the INTERNET is about. THIS is NOT Support, it is The BANDWAGON, so hop on or get off!

    Also, MOST people, even when they Know and Care about someone still do NOT know how to Support another because we NOW live in a world that says, "Just give a warn fuzzy or hug with that back rub" (GOD I HATE that back rub hug) and move on cause you Really do NOT want to know what is up with this person because you will be drawn out of your comfort zone or you may say something that others do not agree with and OMG forbid that others don't agree with you, they may not like you and life will be bad!!! Kinda shyt!

    Look man, MOTIVATE Yourself...If you can't you will Fail, at ANYTHING! This is the INTERNET, the most anonymous, superficial and detached place/thing YET created by mankind!
  • tanniew78
    tanniew78 Posts: 602 Member
    I say something like "Great job logging your intake", because I know how hard it is to log everything and admit to you indiscretions. Its not about congratulating them on eating too much. Thats just me tho.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I only comment on a food/exercise diary if I actually look at it and it looks healthy... which doesn't happen often, but does occasionally. You never know when you're writing "hey great job staying under" and the person ate like 800 calories that day. Then you look like a jerk.

    this. i never comment if i havent looked at the diary and i dont comment if the macros are rubbish or they are 100s of calories under. or if i do, i will ask why they are so under goal.
  • Mslibb
    Mslibb Posts: 69 Member
    I will always try to find something positive to say. I want to be supportive of my friends - that includes encouraging them if they haven't had a great day. I think it's more constructive to lift them up instead of telling them off. If it's me, I know I'm already beating myself up enough over my poor choices, and I don't really need anyone else berating me.

    Also, the encouraging comments I get from my friends make me want to come back and try again the next day. Hell, the fact that they take the time to comment at all is something I'm extremely grateful for - I literally could not have made it this far without the support of my friends here.

    Maybe a shift in thinking would help - you have people who care enough to comment and support you, that's pretty cool :)
  • witchy_wife
    witchy_wife Posts: 792 Member
    I might say "good job" on someone's workout but if I comment on their diary I do actually take the time to go and look at it. For people who have theirs set to private, if they are under calories I will make a comment saying something like well done on finishing under, but you can't really comment if you can't see it.

    I don't have all that many friends though, and I do like it like that. I'm a busy working mum so don't have too much free time, so I prefer 50 friends that I can get to know, and give genuine support to, rather than 500 where I am just commenting for the sake of it.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    some ppl take cheat days so i dont wanna be mean when its on purpose. it does hAppen. i cheat my *kitten* off when i can lol

    I agree with this. I don't find it necessary that people comment on my diary. They don't know me. They don't know my goals, they don't know how my day was. I am responsible for what I put in my body. When I feel I had a bad food diary (like yesterday) I will post about it, and then people will comment saying improve is another day.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    I found a simple solution. I quit "completing" my diary. Problem solved.
  • kendrafallon
    kendrafallon Posts: 1,030 Member
    if I've not looked through someone's diary I won't comment on it. And yes it might just be a simple "good job" or "nice one", which is exactly what I mean - I liked what they had for the day and they stuck to their calorie limits or were close to. I don't focus so much on macros, simply because I don't fully understand the balancing act that's needed and also I'm not entirely sure which of my friend are monitoring their macros.

    Honesty is the best policy, but don't give it out if you can't deal with it in return.
  • 17forbes
    17forbes Posts: 33 Member
    Hi I agree,
    I would like people to point me in the right direction regarding my diary. I have only started using MFP this month so it has been a frantic learning curb yet still don't know enough to realize if i am doing it right or wrong. so "great job" etc does nothing to help or motivate me. So anyone who knows what they are talking about feel free to add me and give me constructive help and support. thks
  • xoTLCxo
    xoTLCxo Posts: 185 Member
    90% of people dont even look at them first
  • iamlaprell
    iamlaprell Posts: 71 Member
    I generally do not comment on anything but losses and "odd" topics because I am still learning what's good for me and can't really judge anyone else's choices. I also am still working to get my family to "clean eating" so I'm basically operating on mostly portion control because I don't have the option of preparing a different meal for myself. So it's hard for me to be "honest" about someone else's choices when I know that they could come back and say "but you had spaghetti for dinner" lol. Also, I'm finding that most people need more emotional support than they need diet proofreading. So I try to be there for my friends by offering suggestions when asked and offering encouragement even when not asked.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    I found a simple solution. I quit "completing" my diary. Problem solved.

    THIS. I never "complete" my diary. I don't want/need daily feedback on my diary, and wouldn't even have it open except that someone from my friend list thought it would be helpful to see, so I opened it.

    I've only had one weird issue since then, and I simply deleted the "friend" who was a paleo nazi nut case.
  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member

    Make a thread, ask for honest people who spend their life on the computer to add you. Now you have a babysitter(s). Problem solved.

    Trust me, I guarantee you that if I added you and told you that your day sucked, you would have a e-cow and delete me. Guarantee it. A lot of people on here don't like hearing the truth and would rather folks encourage them than remind them that they are doing poorly. I say do what I suggested or get over it. You should be happy any one is even bothering to acknowledge you daily.

    I would probably not delete you, you have categorized me as that type of person which is a bias. I am not that naive to look at my diary and realize that my day sucked if someone pointed it out.
  • cad39too
    cad39too Posts: 874 Member
    While I never say good job if someone is significantly over their cals, I will say good job if someone is within their cals even if they haven't hit their macros - if I am aware that they are not following strict macros - some people just want to log their calories.

    Also I have put 'bit light today?' on occasion if people are significantly under cals.
  • Topher1978
    Topher1978 Posts: 975 Member
    Because it is a positive thing that you are being accountable. I encourage my friends, but I am also a hard *kitten*. I do not co-sign bull-****, nor do I wish to further discourage someone that is working hard. If said person is a whiner, I delete them after a few whining sessions.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    I seldom ever look at people's diaries so I refrain from commenting. I have no idea when it says you're below your calorie goal if that's a good thing or a bad thing to you. For me, it's bad, my calorie goal is a minimum. I feel one should strive to reach a goal, not stop short of it. That being said, my diary is wide open but I often forget to track my dinner (and sometimes an entire weekend) and I hardly ever hit the 'complete diary for today' button.

    I am mildly amused by all the kudos one gets for logging in for x number of days in a row. Logging onto the app does not mean one is using it appropriately.

    Personally, I growing wearing of tracking my food. I love the friends I've made here and feel that if you can successfully weed through the BS on the forums, there is a lot to learn. I use this site more for the forums now than anything else. I joined a few groups and find them very helpful.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    you are correct. i do not do that.