So here it is, all the honesty I can muster

I love your honest and I actually loved reading your story. I'm trying to tighten up a lot of aspects of my life as well. Its hard and stressful to think about but I think it's important to remember how you feel now and use it. I'm not going to lie I get resentful of people who can eat what ever they want and look like they're starving my partner and I thoroughly enjoy food together and it's hard to have to change things up but luckily it seems like we both have very supportive people in our lives. I think we can do this

reading this, i was literally thinking "oh my god, get out of my head!" because it sounds exactly like something i should have written. i hate things that don't come easy - and with 100+ pounds to lose, weight loss most certainly does not come easy to me. hang in there - we are rooting for you!

I want to start by saying you are beautiful! so you needed a break, been there. Everyday its going to get a little bit easier, i have all the faith that you can do whatever you put your mind to. It is so inspiring that you share your story and deepest thoughts with us, who struggle with similar things.

The girl you see laughing on the elliptical worked her way up to that. So will you.


I totally agree with this statement and could not have said it better myself. When I started this a little over a year ago I was the one who could not walk a mile and a half without being out of breath...damn, probably closer to a mile. It takes nerve to go the gym and accept where you are in regards to others. I still have to conquer somethings physically such as running which took a bit of getting used to. I can now run 3 miles without stopping, do 25 push-ups in a row and do sit-ups like they are going out of style.

You will get there as long as you put your mind to it and do not give up! Changing everything at once can be a disaster sometimes so you may want to go bit by bit such as eliminating sodas one week, then fried food the next, etc. I tried it all at once and it backfired.

I wish you the best and you can friend me because I am one of those people with a skinny husband that can't gain weight either.

By the way, 95% of the time the people in the gym are either as intimidated as you or are completely zoning out.(In my experience at the gym anyway....it used to put the fear in me too) Good luck and you can do it!

Every body is different but there are two things that are true for everyone. A healthy diet and excercise are the best ways to improve your health which is what it should really be about. I, too, am a lazy person and many of us are but improvement can't be made sitting on the couch all day. You have to get moving even if you start off with just ten minutes a day. After a while your body will feel like it can do more and you will feel so proud of yourself. One of the things I do to help me get ready for the day and for my work out is I drink water as soon as I get up and then eat a well balanced breakfast. I'm not one who can work out on an empty stomach. Water is also one way that keeps me from eating unhealthy snacks but if the urge is that bad then I will have that one cookie just to satisfy the craving. I used to have a gym memebership but gave it up and now I work out more at home than I did there. I invested in a treadmill from HSN. I also work out to the "FREE" Jillian Michaels videos on you tube and while they may be a bit old they do make you sweat. I love it because I can turn up the music and be in my own little world without worrying about any one else. Now if I ever get bored on the treadmill, I will turn on the Wii and get jiggy with it playing Just Dance or I will go to the park for a walk. Key is that I try to keep myself from being sedetary all day. We all at times feel like we can't do something but it's not until you try and I mean really try that you realize just how strong you really are. JUST KEEP REPEATING TO YOURSELF, "I CAN AND I WILL DO IT!", tell that little NEGATIVE voice in your head to go to hell because it isn't welcome! God Bless.

Ok.

I completely hear you on the "size 2 girl on the elliptical machine" comment, as I too just got into going to the gym for the first time in my 33 years of my life... and as I'm gasping for every breath and feeling like my legs are going to give out beneath me - these teeny-boppers ahead of me are in their matching Victoria's Secret "Pink" gear and chatting up a storm... not winded like myself whatsoever. What gives!? I still have no idea. I am 5'5" and probably around 135lbs (I haven't weighed myself in years) but I am sooo winded and hurting by the time I leave the gym.

The first rule is always this: NEVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU IN THE GYM. Everyone's body and story is different... but you are there to defeat one goal: to improve yourself FROM your current self. Don't focus on what everyone else is doing at the gym, focus on what YOU can do. Where YOU feel the burn most, what makes YOU feel stronger. Because when you start doing that, you start improving yourself almost instantly. Soon you will be the one talking to your girlfriend next to you as you're on the elliptical.

Next, look up clean eating and start syncing clean foods into your diet. Before you know it, you'll be more obsessed with cleaner foods than anything else. (Trust me - it's addicting) Clean eating is basically eating whole foods that have not been alternated or processed in any way. As long as you can read the ingredients and know what all of them are, it's clean. Whole, healthful foods are great to have on hand in those moments where you want to snack but you want it to be more filling than "two girlscout cookies totaling 160 calories" Keep delicious, clean foods on hand like hummus and veggies to dip in it, dried fruits and unsalted nuts, greek yogurts, oatmeal, brown rice, etc...

Lastly, have you tried or heard of pro-biotics? I suggest a high count pro-biotic to not only regulate your digestive system but also to help aide in digestive upsets, and balance your body's natural flora. You want one that's high in active culture count - I currently take a daily one that's 30 Billion Live Active cultures... the brand I prefer is Ultimate Flora (you can find this at Rite Aid) and people have noticed that they lose weight on these while it's helping balance all digestion issues, etc... because it's basically "cleaning out" your intestines. Most sicknesses apparently develop in digestive upsets - and I never get sick while I'm on these. All of my coworkers just got over the same flu... I never caught it. It's a great product, look it up online first if you're unsure.

I hope this helps!! Keep your chin up lady... you can do this!!!

"This is seriously the start of a major life re-vamp. I want to work on EVERYTHING!!!! From finances to fitness to daily chores around the house; MY LIFE needs to get tightened up. I am tired of feeling fat and ready to let my outside show just how awesome my insides are. "

I loved your last paragraph! I wouldn't try to work on everything just yet; it might overload your brain with too many changes at once. I'd suggest you start with fitness and food intake, since you signed up on MFP. Once you feel you're on a roll, add the daily chores (you can count house cleaning as an exercise~Bonus!)
Then somewhere down the road, add financial "fitness". And don't forget to let your outside show just how awesome your insides are!!!

Hi there,

(Deleted because of duplication - rbartlett9671)

I wish there was a 'Like' button on MFP, so many of you made such good points, excellent suggestions and were so supportive!

I'm with the others, it sounds like you've had a big 'come to Jesus' moment (it's a southern saying - if you don't know what it means, message me and I'll explain) with yourself. Many of us have had that conversation with ourselves. I agree with one poster that said 'You have to hit bottom first'. And it's true. You cannot make the kind of life/habit changes that you want to make without first being ready to take on the work. And I'm sure all will agree, this is WORK, HARD WORK.

But you can and will do it.

My wakeup moment was when I had an all over checkup. Blood pressure was up to near dangerous levels. Cortisol was elevated. I had given lip service to working out, which was in all honesty was a stroll around the block. And I wasn't losing any weight. I wasn't 'really' watching what I was eating.

Then I decided to heck with the weight loss, I had to do something about the blood pressure. So I went back to what I knew worked for me, and that was lifting weights. The blood pressure came down to extremely healthy levels. And I joined MFP and starting keeping track of what I was taking in. And I was brutally honest about it. No more mindless eating.

Like all the others, I have a couple of suggestions...

#1 Focus on getting healthy first. Make it a goal to be able to get up a couple flight of stairs without getting out of breath. Do they have any kind of recumbant stationary bike or elliptical trainer at your gym? I've always thought that the ONLY way to take care of the cardio is by sitting on my *kitten*! I HATEHATEHATE the machines that you have to be vertical for. I've also found recumbant machines much more comfortable.

You mentioned that you pin. I'm assuming you mean pintrest. Make a deal with yourself. The ONLY way you get to pin is if you are on a machine doing cardio. I did that with a show I dearly loved years ago and it resulted in about a 30-40 lb weight loss after my last pregnancy. Good thing it was a long running show! Seriously! Keep your mind occupied with something while you are exercising and you won't notice that you're breathing hard and sweating nearly as much. It's the only way I can get through a cardio session. But for this to work, it has to be a hard and fast rule. No pinning unless you're on a machine! Do this for a couple of weeks and you'll start to realize that 'hey, these stairs are getting easier to run up and down!'

#2 Keep a food diary. Some people can just keep their calories in check without it but I have to keep track of what I'm consuming. YOu don't necessarily have to start automatically cutting calories. Just keep a diary for a couple of weeks, see if there is any sort of pattern to what, when and how you eat and drink. You wouldn't necessarily have to do it on MFP. A simple small notebook will work.

#3 Figure out your BMR and what your calorie intake should be given your current level of activity. This is going to require honesty with yourself again. But you're already there. There are several good calculators. MFP has one but for a more accurate one. Go to the thread "In place of a roadmap". Many of us on here have used it with great success. Put in your numbers, measurements, and activity level. You're doing this mainly as a reference and a starting point towards healthy eating.



After 2-3 weeks you'll start noticing changes in yourself. You'll start to feel stronger, healthier and more empowered. YOu'll be ready for the next challenge. Actually working toward your goal. Figure out what that goal is during this starting phase.

#4 Start expanding your workout and start making small changes to your diet. I would like to stress that I, and I imagine others, think it's very important to not starve your body. Depriving yourself can have a backlash effect on you. Do not eat below your BMR! If you starve yourself you will cause your metabolism to slow down and any initial weight loss will come to a screeching halt.



I congratulate you on your honesty and readiness for change. You CAN do this! Remember, you are doing this for YOU, not your BF, but you. And it will be the best thing you can ever give yourself.

You go Girl!

You've taken that first really hard step and I totally commend your honesty. Get yourself a good plan of action and stick to it you will see results. Best of luck to you!!!

Well first of all, you should be very proud of yourself. You stepped up, admitted your faults and insecurities and are ready to change them. That is a big step! I am happy or you!

Secondly, don't let the gym or working out intimidate you! No one is judging you. At the gym, everyone is in their own zone, working on their fitness. They are all there for the same reason you are. And please don't be hostile(even if its just in your head) at the smaller girls next to you. They could have been heavier and lost the weight. You are avoiding the gym because of intimidation, yet you are judging others where you are there because they are smaller. I went from a 252 lbs and a size 22, to a 125 lbs and a size 4, I would be so saddened if I knew there was someone that was next to me on the machine, secretly hating me. To break through your gym insecurities, make up a wicked awesome playlist, grab a fitness magazine(they always keep me motivated while working out. My favourite is Shape) and get in your zone!

You can totally do this girl! I have faith in you!

I am humbled by your honesty, your acknowledging that changes need to be made is the first step. Think of it this way, what is your "why"? Why do you want to change your lifestyle? Once you have that deep seeded why, remember it everytime you are at a crossroads when making a choice. Your why will guide you. Next, find a place that you feel comfortable with. It may not be a big gym, I attend a small gym that concentrates on high intensive interval training and nutrition. The owners are wonderfully supportive and so are the clients, I have never felt out of place. I look forward to going to the gym and feel guilty if I miss a day. Lastly, make changes one at a time. If you try to change all your behaviors at once it will be overwhelming. Focus on one change each month, and at the end of the year you will have made 12 signigicant changes. Good luck with your journey!

Please feel free to send me a friend request!

You have made the first step by joining MFP and you are on you way!! I always felt the same way about gyms and for that reason I invested in purchasing my own treadmill and a HRM its the best combonation ever! I would look into purchasing your own treadmill so you can look how you please and focus on you without worrying about what others think!

Mommy of 4........full time RRT

I know this all to well. You have to be honest with yourself or your going to fail. I have learned the hard way. You can do this! Feel free to add me! Im always looking for new friends!