I Need A Man's Opinion

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reptilequeenrachel
reptilequeenrachel Posts: 144
in Chit-Chat
At this point, would you have a relationship with someone who looked like me, or would you want me to lose more weight first? I am going to continue to lose weight, but I want to know what men really think of me now. Thanks :)

-Rachel
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Replies

  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
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    I would prefer to date someone who is secure in who they are.
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
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    I'm not a man but I'm going to answer.

    You're beautiful and you should only ever change something about yourself because YOU want to and not because that's what some men might want. Anyone worth being with would adore you at any size.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Smash


    8/10
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    I have nothing against how you look now as far as I can tell. But I always enjoyed the company of girls who were active and had similar interested.

    If you are just checking who would bang you...asking men that is kind like asking someone on fire if they want water.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    At this point, would you have a relationship with someone who looked like me, or would you want me to lose more weight first? I am going to continue to lose weight, but I want to know what men really think of me now. Thanks :)

    -Rachel

    I'm not sure if this is what you're asking, but I wouldn't ever put a condition of weight loss on someone as a pre-requisite to dating them.
  • reptilequeenrachel
    reptilequeenrachel Posts: 144
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    This is nothig about "smashing". Just an honest question on what you think.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,302 Member
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    Yeah, wrong question. Looking for outside validation will never work for you in life.

    Self doubt is the biggest boner killer, lady!
  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
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    I'm a girl, but seriously...insecurity is unattractive no matter the shape of your body.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    if you really are 18 sure... lol
    but yea it's a little annoying when someone is really super insecure of their own body.
  • GrnEyz80
    GrnEyz80 Posts: 121
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    You need to be happy with yourself. If you lose weight to "get a guy" you will never be comfortable with him because you will always wonder if he'd still love you "fat". When in reality it's your confidence the men fall in love with. When your confident you can be 80 pounds overweight and still sexy in their eyes.
  • reptilequeenrachel
    reptilequeenrachel Posts: 144
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    I'm not insecure at all (maybe a little). I really just want to know if weight really matters to most men.
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
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    Telling an insecure person that insecurity = unattractive can sometimes make that insecure person even more insecure because of their previous insecurities and now new insecurities about being insecure.

    ...... Did that make sense?

    Either way, just speaking as somebody who is extremely insecure who tends to feel even worse any time somebody says that it's not cute. Because, I mean... if it was really as easy as "Okay, I'm not going to be insecure anymore", then I don't think it would be a problem for anybody. But it is a problem because it's not just something that you can turn off.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
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    I'm not insecure at all (maybe a little). I really just want to know if weight really matters to most men.

    It depends on how you carry your weight. I've dated women of all sizes. What didn't vary was how secure and confident they were. Just learn to be who you are and if you don't like your body shape, then do something about it.
  • KristenRidl
    KristenRidl Posts: 82 Member
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    Telling an insecure person that insecurity = unattractive can sometimes make that insecure person even more insecure because of their previous insecurities and now new insecurities about being insecure.

    ...... Did that make sense?

    Made total sense!! I am happy you threw that out there. :)
  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
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    Telling an insecure person that insecurity = unattractive can sometimes make that insecure person even more insecure because of their previous insecurities and now new insecurities about being insecure.

    ...... Did that make sense?

    Either way, just speaking as somebody who is extremely insecure who tends to feel even worse any time somebody says that it's not cute. Because, I mean... if it was really as easy as "Okay, I'm not going to be insecure anymore", then I don't think it would be a problem for anybody. But it is a problem because it's not just something that you can turn off.

    In my opinion, if someone is insecure and it's affecting the way they percieve themselves and the way they believe others to percieve them, then perhaps the more important issue to work on is the reasons behind those emotions. You can lose all the weight you want and be as fit as a fiddle but if you have deep rooted body image issues it's not going to make any difference. Mental/emotional health have more impact than one might imagine. And you are right, it's not something that you can 'turn off ' by any means.

    edited for spelling ...not too good with grammer today ..lol
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
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    I'm not insecure at all (maybe a little). I really just want to know if weight really matters to most men.

    To a certain extent yes.

    Confidence, honesty and a sense of humour are more important. I don't care how attractive a woman is, if she is a slutty, boring, etc then it won't last.
  • MelisMusing
    MelisMusing Posts: 421 Member
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    OWN your appeal and don't let anyone decide for you. The standards you have should be the ones you set- not anyone else.

    I can guarantee you this, as you get older, you will find your place, you will figure out your confidence. Putting yourself out there in the dating world is a intimidating thing, especially if you are not feeling confident about your body. My best advice is to make sure you are in a good place and feeling secure, first.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    You re an attractive young lady ,keep losing the weight and trust me, you wont be back asking that question........keep up the good work
  • piggydog
    piggydog Posts: 322
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    All my guy friends would bed you but they wouldn't date you because of your weight...
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    Some men would and some men wouldn't.
This discussion has been closed.

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