So are we with the right partner?

Options
Credits to the unknown author for a great piece and advice on relationships.

***************************************************************************
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
***************************************************************************
«134

Replies

  • piggydog
    piggydog Posts: 322
    Options
    Well said
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Options
    awesome! I like that. Much holds true
  • swimmer_chick
    swimmer_chick Posts: 137 Member
    Options
    Aww thanks for sharing! :smile:
  • n_unocero
    n_unocero Posts: 445 Member
    Options
    I didn't really agree with any of this the first time I read it. Although it did happen with me ex( i started to find his habits annoying and I ended up cheating on him), with my fiance I totally "fell" in love. We met by chance and I was just obsessed with him ever since. We've been together almost 4 years (getting married on our 4 year anniversary) and I've never once been bored with him. He keeps me laughing everyday and I've never felt like our relationship is "work". We just go together.
  • BeinAwesome247
    BeinAwesome247 Posts: 257 Member
    Options
    I'm torn and will Killer on this one.

    Yes relationships take work but if you're with the right person, it won't feel that way
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Options
    very few are like your's. Though I must admit my wife and I are like that or at least for the first 12-14 years. We been married for 17 years now. Though I can relate to what was posted as well. When all the other stuff fades, you still have to work at it.

    I didn't really agree with any of this the first time I read it. Although it did happen with me ex( i started to find his habits annoying and I ended up cheating on him), with my fiance I totally "fell" in love. We met by chance and I was just obsessed with him ever since. We've been together almost 4 years (getting married on our 4 year anniversary) and I've never once been bored with him. He keeps me laughing everyday and I've never felt like our relationship is "work". We just go together.
  • Alex_Wilken
    Options
    Challenge_accepted-s400x300-156975.jpg
  • Brianna72994
    Options
    Thanks for posting this. I needed to hear this right now
  • china010
    china010 Posts: 6
    Options
    I read this yesterday, and I couldnt agree more.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Options

    Because (listen carefully to this):

    The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

    SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
    WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

    Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

    Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
    ***************************************************************************

    I want to believe.
  • andrewjuu
    andrewjuu Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    "The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found."

    I'll go it one better, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one w/ yourself. If you can't love & be happy w/ yourself, you'll never be in a successful relationship w/ another person.
  • J3ss1caD
    J3ss1caD Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    Its like you read my mind. Thank you for that! :)
  • Getit_Simpson
    Getit_Simpson Posts: 69 Member
    Options
    so true...just like anything else, it takes maintenance.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Options
    Nice read...

    Its all about making the decision to love.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Options
    Solid first post.
  • TheStephil
    TheStephil Posts: 858 Member
    Options
    While what the OP says may very well be true (I've not been in a long enough relationship IMO) it is sort of depressing. I think most people want that love to last 5, 10, 15, 50 years. Food for thought though regardless.
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    Options
    I agree. You don't just sit back and expect a good relationship to happen to you, you pursue that good relationship. Sometimes it will be smooth sailing and sometimes (illness/death in the family, financial struggles, birth of children and the subsequent sleepless nights) it will be more work. My husband and I have had bumps in life, but no bumps in our relationship. I'm lucky though, he's a wonderful man.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Options
    I prefer to recycle my partners every couple of days or so.

    reduce_zps184d9671.jpg
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Options
    As long as they are hot, I don't care.
  • samanthajade124
    samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    I heard something similar a while back. "You have to make your partner fall in love with you all over again every day."