Dear 16 year old me...

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Replies

  • savithny
    savithny Posts: 1,200 Member
    Dear 16 year old me:

    Don't listen to the people who call you fat. You're normal weight for your height, you're tall, you're strong. Your body is beautiful and powerful, even if it is an unfashionable shape. Take care of it, and don't be afraid to use it.

    Don't listen to the boys saying crude things. You've got an awesome rack. Put on a second bra and go exercise. Soon, someone will invent sports bras that fit.

    The women in exercise videos and in movies and on TV? The ones who barely sweat and develop an even dewy sheen after exercise and sort of glow? They're the exception. Most real people sweat and turn red. It's okay to do that, and you shouldn't be embarrassed if you do, or let it stop you from doing things you love to do.
  • beanmi73
    beanmi73 Posts: 9 Member
    I'm still here, so the choices you made didn't kill me. Stay the course, there's plenty of good things to come and they definitely outweigh the bad. Just get out of your head sometime and don't care so much about what others think.
  • LittleMissDover
    LittleMissDover Posts: 820 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,

    You are HOT, stop thinking you're fat because you're sooooo not. You will be though one day so FFS get those legs out in some short skirts, stick a bikini on and flaunt what you have because once you have kids your stomach is going to be a sorry mess and you will truly have reason to hide behind baggy clothes!

    Oh and those huge boobs you hate so much, you're going to love them in a year or two.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,

    You have infinite value. If it seems like somebody doesn't want you, that's their loss - not your problem. You are an amazing person with special talents that will take some time and work to uncover. Treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve and don't allow anybody else to do differently. It will all work out.

    Love,

    Your future.
  • commandax
    commandax Posts: 38 Member
    Dear 16-year-old me, you aren't a hopeless klutz. If you take up boxing, you will love it and it will transform you inside and out.
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    Dear 16 year old Elizabeth

    ;its ok that your not blonde
    ; use sunscreen , roasacea SUCKS
    ; your body is not someone elses to "play with"
    ; use birth control while your son is a blessing- he went through a lot of rough stuff because of you still growing up at the same time
    ; youre going to make a hell of a lot of mistakes, but you get through them
    ; divorce sucks, maybe if you are talking with your brides maid on the wedding day estimating how long the marriage will last that you get into in 3 years, perhaps you should forgo that marriage, oh and use birth control..
    ; please please dont stop hiking/horseback riding when you break your ankle on the mountain
    ; food is fuel you cant run your car on brownies and potato chips, no matter how good they taste
    ; please do not drop out of college, it took so much more work to get through when you went back oh and use birth control
    ; yes when you debate for a month whether or not to leave him... leave him, and use birth control
  • MayaSPapaya
    MayaSPapaya Posts: 735 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,
    Don't be afraid to try makeup, you will find out that you actually love doing/wearing it (I was a late bloomer with that).
    Don't look into that college that your friend is going to next year-you will be miserable and depressed there.
    Realize that your parents will be happier when the divorce happens, and know that everything will work out very nicely-they will stay best friends and you will see both of them quite often, as well as still do a lot as a family.
    Don't be afraid to chase your dream (you know the one I'm talking about)

    That was fun!
  • namluv
    namluv Posts: 194 Member
    Dear 16 year-old me, please EAT. Just because some people called you fat that is not a reason to live off one meal a day. Also, exercise is not a punishment, no matter what your mom's attitude towards it has shown you. When you start having real problems with asthma/body injuries you will be starting from out of shape and only getting worse!
  • Dear 16 year old me,
    You're not fat, no matter what you think. Focus more on school. Those 'friends' you have, don't stress and cry over them because they screwed you over again. You do just dine without them and have and make new friends that aren't going to just walk out of your life. Oh and that guy, it doesn't work out, don't try as hard to make it work, you're wasting you're fun years trying to me 30 years old. Have fun, date around, you're 16.

    Sincerely,
    the 23 year old who is now desperately trying to get back to your size.
  • cleotherio
    cleotherio Posts: 712 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,
    Just because a couple a-holes said one mean thing to you during your awkward middle school years doesn't mean everyone thinks you're gross and they're all just looking for an excuse to make fun of you. There are probably tons of guys who would like you if you weren't so afraid to talk to any of them.

    Don't be an English major in college just because it's an easy major and you're insecure about your real interests.

    And I'm pretty sure that guy you had a crush on for years turned out to be gay.
  • cljabusc
    cljabusc Posts: 48
    Dear 16 year old me...

    Don't stop being active, make time for the gym, and treat your body right, you deserve it.

    You are beautiful and fit and smart and funny and so wonderful. Stop being self concious, start believing in yourself, surround yourself with the friends who bring you up and stop worrying about the ones that brought you down.

    You will date a piece of scum for 3 years and then he will cheat on you, and your heart will be broken. Know that you are valuable, and that it is not the end of the world. You will learn a big lesson and it will take time but you will move on and find a man that treats you like gold. He is worth it.

    Listen to your parents.... they DO know what they're talking about.
  • salcha76
    salcha76 Posts: 287 Member
    Dear Insecure Me,

    You are beautiful. You don't need the pat on your back from the cheerleaders, the jocks, or which ever boy you are crushing on this week to reinforce that. Food is not a band aid, smoking is not a band aid, drinking is not a band aid. Take a deep breath and run. Work on you. Love your parents and ignore their criticisms...let it go, it's not worth the therapy 20 years later.
    PLEASE...ignore the "supposed toos" and follow your heart, your gut, and do what you want to do, not what you're supposed to do to make others happy.

    Chin up, you are simply wonderful.
  • megggsss
    megggsss Posts: 72 Member
    Dear 16 Year old me,

    Please take what happened to you last year and learn from it. Do not drown yourself in alcohol to try to forget. It was terrible and you know you should have reported it. It was NOT your fault.
    Break up with that loser… Like Yesterday. He is a horrible person. No morals and will **** up your life.
    Stay in swimming. You were amazing and had a rocking body while you did it. Do not let drugs becomes more important then the swimming.
    Whatever you do please do not date that guy. Call your mom to pick you up. Yes it is a horrible snow storm and you are all the way on the other side of the city but you will thank yourself for it later. You do not need that to happen a second time. Walk home if you have to just do not trust him. He has an agenda and you should not be a part of it.
    Just don't have sex please. Wait. If they do not like you for you, leave.
    Do NOT spend from 17 to 19 on J. He is good for nothing and will treat you like **** and lie. He will beat you down emotionally and lead you to a dark place.

    Please apply for school. I know there is a two year waiting list but in those two years you will go to work and meet your husband. You will see him across the room doing his training for the job and in the moment you will tell yourself that you have to get to know him because you can see yourself with him many years from now. You will do things very different with him. You will become best friends before starting a relationship and you will realize what a real relationship is. Just don't wait 4 years to tell him about what happened when you were 15. He is sensible and will not look down on you and not blame you though he will want to kill the person who did it (but he doesn't).

    When you and A stopped being friends, keep it that way. You think that she would have grown up after 10 years but she is exactly the same and will try to do the same thing with your husband. Leave that friendship long in the past.

    You are doing amazing in school.

    Stop comparing yourself to others.

    Having your bones stick out all over your body is NOT sexy or hot or cool or good-looking. Do not be afraid of food.

    Go see a therapist please. You need to work through the emotional crap and you do not need it to affect you later in life. Also, I think your anger stems from all that you have bottled up so this will help with that as well.

    Spend a lot of time with your mom. In 3 years she will be diagnosed with cancer and will pass away a little over 3 years later. Thankfully she does get to meet your daughter before that happens. Make her get that tattoo with you or ten years later you will be wishing you had.

    I know right now you do not want kids but in 6 years you will have a beautiful little girl with the guy you will meet at your job.

    Figure out what you want to do if you do not end up going to school. Figure it out fast. You do not want to be 26 and still wondering.

    Learn to make decisions.

    Love yourself.

    Keep in better touch with April. You were best friends and inseparable. Keep it that way.

    Do not talk to those guys while waiting to be picked up while skiing. They end up being the gateway to all things horrible. Let them walk on by. Do not make eye contact or turn around. Let them gooooo.

    Get your motorcycle license. You want it. GET IT!


    Love,

    26 year old you.
    xxoo

    P.S. At 19 when you buy your first new car... Don't. Please buy a truck and not a Ford Ranger but a TRUCK. Like an 150 or a Ram. Who cares if it is second hand. You will thank yourself the following summer when you move across the country and end up hitting a deer in the middle of that journey.
  • MamaC77
    MamaC77 Posts: 104 Member
    Dear 16 year old self,

    Follow your heart. That's how you got to where you are now. All of the things you went through made you the person you are today. I wouldn't have it any other way.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Dear 12 year old me.

    Even though you are poor, you are blessed. I know you don't know any different, but someday you will.

    Pick up a sport and use God's gifst to make yourself happy.
  • cookiealbright
    cookiealbright Posts: 605 Member
    Dear 16 year old me..

    Eat more chips, your metabolism is great and you never sit so enjoy yourself! When you are 22 don't marry the idiot who gets you pregnant he will just give you another kid and make you feel like a loser. You are stronger than you think and can get by on your own. You are beautiful even though you think you are not and you are not fat.

    From 57 year old me.. :flowerforyou:
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
    Dear 16 year old me:

    Your parents don't hate you, they are both just crazy.
    Your sister doesn't hate you either, she's just dealing with a lot of horrible things at the moment.

    You're a bit crazy too, everyone who tells you to "just get over it" is wrong. Please go seek help and don't stop until you find it.

    Don't be a work-aholic like your crazy parents. Focus on school.

    There *IS* such a thing as college prep. Stop working 6 days a week and go look it up.

    Student loans will not ruin your life, lack of education will.

    <3 Rachael Bob
  • Rae_of_Sunshine
    Rae_of_Sunshine Posts: 4 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,

    I am going to start by telling you that you will never be the same after this year. You are going to become a teen mom this year and your life will never be the same. Don't misunderstand, I'm not writing to you so that you can prevent that from happening, but I will tell you it's not because you choose to throw caution to the wind and turn into your V-Card. Like I stated earlier, I'm not going to tell you how or when it happens, I hope you know I'm not trying to be cruel and you have to trust that one day you will be thankful that I didn't. She is the best thing that will ever happen to you, you will know it the moment you first hold her in your arms and count her fingers and toes. Her perfection will take your breath away and the intensity of the love you have for her will scare you - it is hard to believe you could ever love someone so much. You might be scared and feel like you are in over your head but your family and friends will support you every step of the way. One more thing, ignore The Look when stupid, judgmental people give it to you, they don't know you and they are idiots. Also, the girl who is your best friend now will still be your best friend years from now. That doesn't mean you won't fight or go through bad times, you will. But in the end you two will always be there for each other. She makes an excellent auntie too.

    One more thing, you know T, that one boy you met when you were eight? The one you brother was friends with and you desperately wanted to be friends with too? Don't give up on him. You are probably thinking I'm and idiot right about now and seriously questioning my parenting skills because as you are reading this you are imagining that he is probably on the dirty floor of a rundown shack, stoned out of his mind on who knows what drug that he bought with the money he got by doing who knows what illegal thing. And you know what? You're probably right, that is most likely exactly where he is and where he will be for quite awhile but he changes. He gets clean and he comes back. He won't ever touch drugs or alcohol again and he'll get himself a good job and nice apartment.

    You won't believe it when you first hear that he's back on track and has been for awhile and the first time you see him will be one of the most awkward moments of your life because you will be torn between wanting to hug him for actually doing something right for once and dismembering him for being and idiot in the first place. Don't worry, you won't be the only one not knowing what to do because you will be holding a one year old and he hasn't heard that you have a kid now so you are on equal footing.

    After the shock wears off you will probably be tempted to hate him and make his life miserable. Don't. Yes, you have every right to be mad at him and feel betrayed: he was stupid and made a million bad choices. But he's had a hard life and he is trying to live it right this time round. Besides trying to hate him will only make you (and everyone around you miserable). What you are feeling now is denial, he gets under your skin and it unnerves you because you know he's made it past your walls. In case you haven't figured it out yet, which I know you haven't because you are emotionally handicapped: You are in love with him, you always have been. Don't try to push him away thinking that if you do you'll be better off, because trust me, you won't. The reason why you fight like a married couple is because you should be one one day. You can trust him, one day he will be an amazing dad.

    If you keep going in the direction you are tempted to go in instead of listening to me, you will succeed in pushing him away and you won't realize you love him until eight hours before he announces his engagement and you won't voice it until you find out. It will be the worst heartbreak you ever have and it will be completely your own doing. You can avoid it if you just stop trying to push him way because if you don't, the next time you see him after that will be after you graduate, it will be a month before his wedding. He will come back for a visit and you will fall in love all over again only to be broken hearted once more. So take a chance on him, he's worth it. I promise.

    With all my Love,
    Future You

    P.S. In the meantime, keep studying hard, you're going to graduate top of your class and give the Valedictorian speech if you keep it up!
  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
    Dear 16 y/o me, DO NOT leave home and move in with your boyfriend...seriously BAD mistake. You're gonna get marriend in a year and live the next 7 in hell.

    Not sure I'd have listened regarless though and I am thankful for the strength I gained from the experience!
  • MilfyLarrieux
    MilfyLarrieux Posts: 1 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,

    I wish you knew how beautiful you were. Looking at old pics and reminiscing today, I say, "man I wish I could just look like THAT again." I would also tell you to really stand up for yourself. Not doing it then, has led to you not doing it now!
  • BrennLinn
    BrennLinn Posts: 178 Member
    Dear 16 year old me, stop being such a beotch to your mom, it ended up she was ALWAYS right!

    -Stop letting your sister pick on you and don't show her your weaknesses, being held down and having her spit and then suck it back up before it hit my face could have been avoided!

    -Stop thinking you don't need to go to college and do better in school instead of ditching.

    -Don't move down to the Virgin Islands with your brother only to be royally screwed and broke because of the piece of crap sibling he is.

    -Stay with your first boyfriend because it turns out 10 years later he is the love of your life, gives you 2 beautiful children, and you will be married in August.

    -Stop thinking your *kitten* don't stink and treat people with respect.

    -Oh and don't think that once you hit 18 you can continue to party all the time and eat like crap without gaining weight, you are soooooo wrong!
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    dear 16 year old me

    don't start smoking! you could have so much more money saved right now.

    and don't push aside that eating disorder you didn't think you had. it's real, it's there and it came to bite you in the *kitten*.
  • Shauncho49
    Shauncho49 Posts: 132 Member
    dear 16 year old me...

    you ****in fat-*kitten*...GET UP...****IN' DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. No, you're not every going to be a rock star, you know how few people that happens to? go to school, do your work and for ****'s sake *slap* get that ****ing slice of pizza out of your god damn FACE!!!

    Love,
    Future you...yes, you really are this big of an *kitten* later in life...start working on that now too, you stupid ****.
  • glennstoudt
    glennstoudt Posts: 403 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,

    Stop sweating that you will be drafted and have to go to Vietnam. The war will be over soon. Take just half the money you will spend on beer over the next 42 years and buy gold and you won't be still working unless you want to.
  • ktrn0312
    ktrn0312 Posts: 722 Member
    Bump. Love this thread.
  • Judas_Queen
    Judas_Queen Posts: 251 Member
    Dear 16yo me

    That boyfriend you've had for a few months? Yeah, the tall skinny one that can seemingly hide food in his body somewhere? Yeah, you can't do that so stop trying! You'll get fat and hate yourself.

    Try harder at university, especially in your last year otherwise you'll come out with a not so great grade.. and hate yourself.

    Job wise you're gonna be OK at 23. Its all good.

    But don't take out credit cards, or use overdrafts just so you can buy pretty £800 handbags. You'll be wanting to buy a house when you're 25 and paying these off are gonna be a b****!

    Exercise. I KNOW you hate PE and can give it up to get extra grades in religious studies - by the way, WTF!? - don't give it up. Find a sport you love.

    Go back and swim... swim like you mean it! You wont be happy when you're 22 and struggle to do even 100m!! Get fit, please? It would really help 23yo you if you could do this!

    Be healthy and spend less time worrying about the little things and focus on the bigger picture.

    LOVE ME!
  • amandaj1966
    amandaj1966 Posts: 342 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,

    Stop proving your dad right when he keeps saying you are useless at everything, you can do better. You don't need his support. He will be proud of you when he is sober for long enough. ( he will stop drinking )

    Don't marry your first proper boyfriend, it won't be a good marriage, instead, just get pregnant by him so you will still have your amazing daughter. :-)

    Keep in touch with your Uncle, you've just lost your mum but he has lost his sister, you need each other.

    You aren't fat at 7 stone.

    Stand up to the girls that bully you, they are just jealous.

    And finally give Rob a second chance, you will end up marrying him ( many years later ) and you will be happy. xx
  • GracefulDancer4Christ
    GracefulDancer4Christ Posts: 419 Member
    Dear 16 year old me
    I know you have been through a rough transition with the death of your dad, being a fatherless teenager, moving to a town you hated. you expressed your anger with undereating and there are other healthy ways you could express those like a journal it would be much healthier. despite the rough year you stood strong and never gave up.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    Dear 16 year old me,

    Stop starving yourself....and remember, eating everything in sight won't make you happy either.

    No matter how hard it gets, people love you...Life may not turn out how you expect it, but just be happy with the ride. AND it is okay to practice moderation...you'll be happier if you do.

    Love, 24 year old me.
  • I'd go wtih something simple: learn to do your eyebrows now, listen to more music, and set reading goals.

    Edited: DO NOT misuse credit cards. DO NOT even open that black one.

    Love us.