I want to cry and scream and..

allikat93
allikat93 Posts: 236
in Motivation and Support
Throw and break things.

But I cant cause Im an adult.

This day keeps getting worse. To much to go into.. But the short version is..

Boyfriend is being an absolute **** (He is hanging out with his "best friend" so no surprise there)
This is in my house so I am locked in my room.
There is no food in said room.
I dont want to go out and get food because of said "friend"
Boyfriend is popping pills and being an all around douche whos word never amounts to anything.
Im starving and stressed out and pissed off.

Maybe I will find an old protein bar somewhere for dinner. If I am lucky.
Didnt even get a "workout" in today because of his friend. (was suppost to shoot hoops with the guy but his friend is more important)

Anyway. Sorry. Just feeling down. Carry on with your cool lifes full of friends and family. I will be laying here on my bed with the only family and friend around. A cat. Go figure.
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Replies

  • hdkerr
    hdkerr Posts: 145 Member
    Get rid of the douche. There's way better out there.
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    He is awesome when he isnt around this so caled 'friend'. But this 'friend' is an awful influence (i.e... The pills)
  • Coyoteldy
    Coyoteldy Posts: 219 Member
    sorry for the reasons you listed,, especially the pill thing.. he would be GONE.. you need to take care of YOU and he is either with you or gone... sheesh what is he thinking?
  • Springfield_Rocks
    Springfield_Rocks Posts: 289
    He is awesome when he isnt around this so caled 'friend'. But this 'friend' is an awful influence (i.e... The pills)

    if you are blaming the 'friend', you are making a HUGE mistake.

    don't blame the 'friend'.

    :-)
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
    He is awesome when he isnt around this so caled 'friend'. But this 'friend' is an awful influence (i.e... The pills)

    if you are blaming the 'friend', you are making a HUGE mistake.

    don't blame the 'friend'.

    :-)

    ^This
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    Yeah. Getting tired of empty promises.

    "I promise you Alli, I will shoot hoops with you today." (said it yesterday too)
    "No James wont stay over..." "...promise"

    knew as soon as he said james was coming up to the house.. The second one would ring false.
    Knew as soon as he told be we were picking james up the first one became void. (James is an alcoholic and no longer has his licence because of it. So we have to cart his *kitten* around everywhere. Thank god we have no booze in the house... Bad for me though.)
  • VeeBethTris
    VeeBethTris Posts: 301 Member
    He is awesome when he isnt around this so caled 'friend'. But this 'friend' is an awful influence (i.e... The pills)

    if you are blaming the 'friend', you are making a HUGE mistake.

    don't blame the 'friend'.

    :-)


    ^This

    Double this...
  • JATP1
    JATP1 Posts: 5 Member
    Take care of yourself and go eat something healthy and do some sit-ups, squats whatever you can to work out in your room or you will really feel resentful. And tomorrow when you are feeling good decide if you need to set some limits with the boyfriend,
  • spynoodle
    spynoodle Posts: 404
    Sorry, it sounds like your bf is an @ss and a druggie. I say put your big girl panties on and leave your room and get some food!
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    He is awesome when he isnt around this so caled 'friend'. But this 'friend' is an awful influence (i.e... The pills)

    if you are blaming the 'friend', you are making a HUGE mistake.

    don't blame the 'friend'.

    :-)


    ^This

    Oh.. It is the bf too.. I know it is.. But.. Idk... Ugh..
  • aleesh_
    aleesh_ Posts: 137 Member
    If you are REALLY hungry like you say I would just go to the fridge to get food, as awkward as possible with no eye contact and keeping my head down :p
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    Only you can change it, or enable it and you are def enableing it, so really it's your fault it keeps happening. Why do you want to live like that? Make the boyfriend choose you or the friend and I think he'll choose the friend.
  • VeeBethTris
    VeeBethTris Posts: 301 Member
    Why is your workout contingent on his? You can always workout by yourself, shoot hoops alone, etc
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    Take care of yourself and go eat something healthy and do some sit-ups, squats whatever you can to work out in your room or you will really feel resentful. And tomorrow when you are feeling good decide if you need to set some limits with the boyfriend,

    Hahahhahahaha. Limits. Oh man. Thats a good one. This WAS a hard limit. The door is locked and he aint sleeping with me in his room. He can share the couch with his friend.

    The only reason this is happening is becaus emy landlord (and roommate) isnt home tonight to ban james from staying. (roomie hates james as much as i do.. If not more)

    The bf isnt a druggie. Just stupid. He only does this when james comes around.hince the reason ibhate the douche so much.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    1 - just because your an adult, you are aloud to cry.
    2 - it sounds like you are a prisoner...why can you not leave your room?
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    Take care of yourself and go eat something healthy and do some sit-ups, squats whatever you can to work out in your room or you will really feel resentful. And tomorrow when you are feeling good decide if you need to set some limits with the boyfriend,

    Hahahhahahaha. Limits. Oh man. Thats a good one. This WAS a hard limit. The door is locked and he aint sleeping with me in his room. He can share the couch with his friend.

    The only reason this is happening is becaus emy landlord (and roommate) isnt home tonight to ban james from staying. (roomie hates james as much as i do.. If not more)

    The bf isnt a druggie. Just stupid. He only does this when james comes around.hince the reason ibhate the douche so much.

    If your boyfriend is popping pills - he is a druggie. Don't be in denial about it or try to defend his behaviours. We call this co-dependency.
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    Why is your workout contingent on his? You can always workout by yourself, shoot hoops alone, etc

    I have no hoop here at the house and no car. (Live 20 miles out of town). I dont need to excercise today.. But I wanted too and he promised he would do it with me (big step considering he doesnt really support my diet or weightloss goals or anything)
    It is really hard for me to self-modivate. I feel like an idiot excercising alone. I would go for a walk but it is pouring down rain.
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    You know what the problem is; the so-called boyfriend. Not the friend, not the pills, not even the landlord.

    You know how to fix this. Get rid of him or leave. But you don't want to do this for whatever reason you have. So it seems apparent that you somehow are being 'fulfilled' by this relationship.

    It's your choice. You locked yourself in the room, not your boyfriend. You're enabling his behavior by what you're doing. Get out of there; go for a drive or a walk, get some healthy food, meet other people.

    Tough love, girl. I'd give my sister the same advice I'm giving you. <3
  • JessHealthKick
    JessHealthKick Posts: 800 Member
    He is awesome when he isnt around this so caled 'friend'. But this 'friend' is an awful influence (i.e... The pills)

    I would never ever date a guy who could 'change'. You aren't going to be in your little home with a white picket fence and no one around you.

    Ditch him and get an upgrade, he sounds pathetic and WEAK if he is going to give into peer pressure. Get a handsome IT entrepreneur programmer boyfriend like mine. All his friends are his business partners, so all their free time is spent on talking about engineering, planning weekends away hiking, and figuring out how to make me feel special ;)

    If any drug other than alcohol or caffeine went to his mouth he would be a single, heart broken loser :)
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    I just quickly read the entire thread...your kind of been a bit dramatic about it, and it sounds like no matter what anyone on MFP suggests, you are just going to make an excuse for it. Good luck!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    The bf isnt a druggie. Just stupid. He only does this when james comes around.hince the reason ibhate the douche so much.

    You're making excuses for him. He IS an addict of sorts, even if it's just social when this so-called friend is over. Do not let yourself be sucked into blaming his friend; he is responsible for himself and is acting like an idiot. HE is the idiot for going along with it, regardless of said friend.

    I'd say put your foot down. Tell this 'James' boy to get out of your apartment and then set ultimatums with your boyfriend. His behaviors aren't just destructive for him, but for your relationship.
  • JessHealthKick
    JessHealthKick Posts: 800 Member
    Why is your workout contingent on his? You can always workout by yourself, shoot hoops alone, etc

    I have no hoop here at the house and no car. (Live 20 miles out of town). I dont need to excercise today.. But I wanted too and he promised he would do it with me (big step considering he doesnt really support my diet or weightloss goals or anything)
    It is really hard for me to self-modivate. I feel like an idiot excercising alone. I would go for a walk but it is pouring down rain.

    wait he doesn't support you? So he is trying to make you feel bad about yourself (i.e manipulate you). Asssssssss to the hooolllleeeeee making you feel unconfident so you don't leave him.

    Seen that 100000s of times. Get out.
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    1 - just because your an adult, you are aloud to cry.
    2 - it sounds like you are a prisoner...why can you not leave your room?

    Because I dont want to deal with his friends wise cracks focused at me. Can be anything from my attitiude.. My weight (especially my weight) what im wearing. It dont matter. He picks anything. Worst part is.. My bf doesnt even care. He laughs along with james. No care. Not even when im crying from the hurtful things he says.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    This is no way to live. You need to find a way out of this situation. Even if you need to seek help from a domestic violence shelter (is the reason you can't leave your room because he will become violent with you).

    Edit to add: You are being very confusing.
  • Bbwnomore2
    Bbwnomore2 Posts: 225 Member
    ok i hope you "pop" BC pills on a regular basis. If his "friend" can talk him into taking pills what else can he be talked into? If he picks any friends over you now, it will NEVER change. Sorry this was harsh but its not a good enviroment for youy to be in. Best of luck to you.
  • mink63
    mink63 Posts: 35
    This is so sad :( why are you with someone who pops pills and doesn't support your goals? It doesn't make sense yo me. I hope you gain enough self confidence to leave him. You should want better for yourself.


    .
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    Cant get out. Have absolutely no where to go. No friends.. No family.. Nothing. No job.. No money.. No car.. Im screwed right now.
  • JessicaN1979
    JessicaN1979 Posts: 142 Member
    Wait.....u are locked in your own room because of the boyfriends friend? That is ridiculous and maybe if you went out and joined them the friend would get irritated and leave.

    Secondly, doing pills may start as a "random" thing, but it will likely turn in to an addiction at some point and it gets ugly quickly.

    And the others on this post I have to agree with, do not blame everyone but your boyfriend when he is the one to blame.
  • allikat93
    allikat93 Posts: 236
    ok i hope you "pop" BC pills on a regular basis. If his "friend" can talk him into taking pills what else can he be talked into? If he picks any friends over you now, it will NEVER change. Sorry this was harsh but its not a good enviroment for youy to be in. Best of luck to you.

    I habe the mirena IUD un. Could be the reason Im so damn emotional.
  • Rgtjax85
    Rgtjax85 Posts: 99 Member
    You are emotional because both of these people are putting your health and life in danger. Here you are on a calorie counting/ workout website. Not far off there are people that are putting OTC or illegal drugs in their body. Do not be unequally yoked. Kick him to the curve. How would you feel if you got pulled over and some loose pills were in the car? You can say it is your boyfriends all you want all the way to jail. That would be horrible. Praying you make the right decision.

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