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Dumped because I am fat...what do you think?

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Replies

  • toni_myers0915
    toni_myers0915 Posts: 50 Member
    Run.

    Run far away.

    That is NOT love.

    Run.

    ^^^^^^THIS!!!!!^^^^^
  • Snikkee
    Snikkee Posts: 295 Member
    *kitten* HIM! ugh! it is not his job to tell you you are fat! It his his job to tell you are beautiful!!
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
    He has issues he needs to take care of himself. No man should treat a woman any differently just because of her weight. You will still be the same person thin or fat. If he wasn't happy with your weight in the end(?) then he wasn't in the beginning, he just never told you up front. Getting healthy should be done for yourself because YOU want it, not for any man. You need someone to support you always, not be jerk. Move on please, you will be a stronger person for it.
  • j4zepedajj
    j4zepedajj Posts: 70
    I think a guy who dumps you because of your weights has issues.
    1. He met you that way and liked you.. so thats no excuse...
    2. He can try to motivate you and you guys can do it together..
    3. He is just shallow and doing you a favor... hes no good
  • srey0701
    srey0701 Posts: 196 Member
    If I were in your shoes, I would leave. You will be so much happier without having someone putting you down like that. He sounds awful to be around. Lose weight for yourself, not for anyone but yourself. He's not good enough for you, it's time to move on!
  • erulasse
    erulasse Posts: 141 Member
    He wants someone he finds sexy. Someone who is going to take care of theirself and live long. Someone who will be able to enjoy him sexually without being out of breath. Someone who will be able to be active with his children.

    What a load of bull****! If he wanted all of that, she should never have dated a bigger girl in the first place!

    Also, I'll have you know; big girls are better in bed anyway ;)
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    Run.

    Run far away.

    That is NOT love.

    Run.
  • jenniferwren
    jenniferwren Posts: 189
    *kitten*. Something else is up...


    this ^
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Topic: Dumped because I am fat...what do you think?

    I think you should get skinny, or strong, or fast, or fit, or whatever you want to be, and then seek out that guy, date him and then let him write a thread called
    Topic: Dumped because I pissed off a "fat" person...what do you think?
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    You NEVER EVER go into a relationship wanting to change someone because that's your issues, not theirs.

    Amen

    Thats should be the lesson for today. This is very true on just about any aspect you can think of. Ive never seen a success story to the contrary. :flowerforyou:
  • SlimSumday
    SlimSumday Posts: 379 Member
    Hi everyone! :smile: I have been dating this guy for 2 1/2 years. He met me when I was overweight and didn't have a big problem with it. We were attracted to each other and had a pretty happy relationship. His family recently visited for the first time, and ever since then he has been treating me differently. When we talked about marriage, he said that he won't propose unless I lose a lot of weight. He said his family made him realize how heavy I am and he doesn't want to be with me if I am that overweight. I am 5'4" and 250 pounds. He said he doesn't want to be walking in the mall with me and have people wonder why he is with me. He wants to check me out the way he does thin chicks. He wants someone that wears bikinis and short shorts. He said he has only been holding onto me because he loves me and hopes I will change. He said he would pay for me to reduce my boobs now just so I would look less heavy.

    Obviously this hurt me a lot since I have been struggling with my weight since my sophomore year of college. He knows I try hard to lose and fall back into unhealthy emotional patterns. I have gone through surgery lately and faced setbacks. It hurts me that he loves me for me until he saw what his family said about my weight. Especially since they aren't thin people either. (Even he isn't super active and has a bit of a belly)

    So - here is where your opinion comes in. How would you react to this? What do you think about it? Would you try to lose the weight and be a better person for him or would you see him as superficial and shallow? Obviously, I am trying to lose weight anyway. I guess I am wondering if you would take this as him trying to help you look better and be nice about it, or if you would be offended and move on. He says I am perfect for him except for my weight. I feel like if I fix my weight FOR him, he and his family might just find something else that they don't like either. I am wondering if I should move on or feel grateful that he told me?

    Dump the S.O.B. and then lose weight for yourself.
  • peachy_keen
    peachy_keen Posts: 43 Member
    I was over weight when I met my husband and he loved me for who I am. I lost weight right after we got married because I wanted to. The only thing he ever said was that I could "stand to lose some weight" after I practically had to beat it out of him what he honestly thought.

    I just had to do the SAME thing with my husband this weekend. Yeah, didn't make me feel great, but I'm glad he was finally honest!

    And OP, men come and go. You'll find the person that loves you for YOU and will be with you through thick and thin (literally and figuratively). I'm not too keen on the fact that homeboy changed his tune because of his family. That's weakness to me. I'd pass on that!
  • JAT74
    JAT74 Posts: 1,081 Member
    I have to say I don't agree with a lot of the other replies. My ex boyfriend dumped me partly because I lost all confidence in myself due to my weight and became really introverted. Up until that point he had never had a problem with my size in the 9 years we were together even though I was 180lbs at my heaviest and I'm not very tall. I was so miserable at that size and I wish he had told me to do something about it because some of us need a reality check.

    When I became single I was sure I would never met anyone else but I met my current partner and he told me from the start that he liked thin women although he liked me as a person. He liked me for me inside but he wouldn't have stayed with me if I'd stayed that big. He was the motivation I needed and I lost a almost 60 lbs in the first 6 months we were together. I felt so much better about myself and although it's not been easy to stay so much smaller and my weight has fluctuated he has helped me stop it getting out of control again and I have my self respect back. I am so glad I didn't stay with my ex as I dread to think how big if be now.

    After my experience I'd definitely say to stay with him for a bit longer and see if you are able to lose the weight. If his attitude changes then you'll know it was worth staying and if not then leave him. I have now made fitness a huge part of my life for the last 11 years and when my eating habits start getting a little out of hand my boyfriend let's me know he's not happy which I'm thankful for because I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror or in photos when I was big yet I just kept on eating!

    He also keeps fit and looks pretty good himself and I know I wouldn't like him if he was overweight so I don't think he's said anything wrong. So called friends of mine tell me I'm fine and I don't need to lose weight because they won't be honest even though I have very high body fat and look terrible in a bikini and if everyone around me was like that I'd probably be 200-300 pounds by now.
  • leighdiane91
    leighdiane91 Posts: 225 Member
    Run.

    Run far away.

    That is NOT love.

    Run.

    This.
  • boboff
    boboff Posts: 129 Member
    He is an immature chap who you are better off without.
    His family will continue to judge his choice of partner until he dates someone his Dad fancies his chances with.

    You probably weren't right for him as you are not his cousin/sister/aunt.

    *the above is a joke, like him. No offence intended for the blatant stereo type, Deliverance has allot to answer for!
  • squindles
    squindles Posts: 350 Member
    Get rid hun. Once you do, that'll be a good few pounds lost!!! :laugh:
  • meltingmama1965
    meltingmama1965 Posts: 24
    If he truely loved you for you it shouldnt matter what size you are. Dont lose weight for him. Do it for your self hun. I am with a guy who loves me for me. Im losing the weight for me not for him. He always say i can be big as a house or small like a mouse he will always love me.
    So If he listens to his family he is stupid because if he is happy with you he will love you for you and it shouldnt matter.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I would lose weight because it's healthy and because I couldn't do the things I like to do @ 5'4" 250......That said....I would also tell him to get lost and he would not be in the picture any longer.
  • fitbum19
    fitbum19 Posts: 198 Member
    I say dump him... and then get super hot and rub it in his face.

    Or at least, thats what I would do :)

    ^^^ this. He is shallow and doesn't deserve you!
  • texjenn
    texjenn Posts: 146 Member
    Dumb his *kitten* and don't look back! Yes, you should do the weight lose for yourself, but you don't need a guy who has that kind of attitude. And you don't need one that relies so much on his family's opinion, either. Believe me -- been there done that. You are very pretty and you will find someone else who is for you - regardless if you are heavy or thin!

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