Thank goodness for fat shaming!

My dad used to call me sumo when I was a teenager, I wasn't overweight at the time but all that name calling really upset me and made me think why shouldn't I just put on weight if that is how people see me? I then went the other way and starved myself for years. Then came the kidney tumour. I think so called "fat shaming" can be just as harmful as it can be helpful in some situations. I think if someone has put on weight and doesn't seem to notice a friendly word should be the first port of call.

So basically, what you're saying is "Thank goodness for abuse!" "Thank goodness someone made me feel bad about myself!"

All I have to say to this thread is, just because you're losing weight, or have lost weight, doesn't make you any better than others who haven't or who don't want to. Don't kid yourselves into thinking that you're somehow superior to larger people, and don't even kid yourselves that you care about other peoples health, or their fitness.

Who other people are, what they are, is nothing to do with you. So stop with the self aggrandising, it's so unbecoming.

Other peoples health and appearance is nobodys business. I wish people would stop body shaming. It doesn't matter if you're trying to be helpful by calling someone a whale or fat. Body shaming is body shaming. Reading and hearing things like this made me hate my own body when I was growing up. Only if someone had the guts to tell me pretty does not necessarily means thin and fit. Sure we can all agree that being obese is not healthy but telling someone what to do with their own bodies is nobodys decision to make but their own.
Seriously seeing things like this makes me sick to my stomach.

Ever since I was a teenager I have been at the receiving end of weight comments from my close family , mother and father. I'm glad it worked for you, but for me it made me:

Ignore her comments for 5 years because she was being stupid (I was at healthy weight).
Then, once I had decided to ignore her because of this, I started putting on more and more weight. Into being fat.
The abuse didn't stop, in fact, I blame my low self-esteem on it.

All these comments came out of a wish to be helpful, straight from the horse's mouth. They haven't done me any good at all. For 7 years they have been tormenting me about it. Guess what?

You cannot, I repeat, cannot - make someone lose weight from fat shaming or "helpful comments".

They will do it when they finally decide to. As I have, and so far I've lost 6 kg.

Poopy comments are not helpful. All it does is make people feel like lard tubs, and if they are anything like me, then they already felt pretty bad to begin with.

Other peoples health and appearance is nobodys business.

I disagree with this....worrying about somebody's health isnt a bad thing. I watched my Mum gain and lose weigh several times, her suffering with a myriad of health issues surrounding her weight. There is no way I sat back and watched her get more unhealthy. I didn't want to be without her.

The way to change someone however is not usually shaming. Make them want to be the fittest, strongest and healthiest they can. Be proud and encourage them to look after themselves. Im happy to say my mum has lost over 8 stone now and is just a couple a way from her goal weight. Shes stronger and fitter than she has been in years.

You cannot, I repeat, cannot - make someone lose weight from fat shaming or "helpful comments".

The first post suggests differently.

To my mind a lot of the problem with the 'shaming' thing is because people ARE ashamed.
If people were happy with what they are - then there shouldn't be so much issue.

When I got down to a low weight and people were calling me skinny, I was pleased (I still had a bit of tummy left unfortunately) as it showed the 'work' I had done losing weight was working.

If more people were honest and accepted honest opinions more of the time rather than being 'hurt' by them, perhaps there would be less issues in the first place?

I got annoyed when people would say to me "but you aren't fat" when I was - I have a large frame/chest so I do carry bulk quite well, but it gave me less incentive to lose.

Gee, once again the Internet teaches us that people are all different!

OP I'm glad it worked for you, obviously you had decent self esteem and the kind of relationship with your mother where this was ok. For many people that's not the case. I can't even imagine how hurt and angry I would be if my mother said that to me. But thankfully she never would.

There is worrying about someone's health, someone you know, and there is "OMG FAT PEOPLE, HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO THEMSELVES? DONT THEY KNOW HOW UNHEALTHY THEY ARE?! They should want to be fit and healthy, why don't they want to be fit and healthy?" Like its actually anyones business...
Then if you call them out on it, they say "Oh but I'm only saying it because I care about their health!" Like, I'm sorry but I know I don't care about what any one stranger does to their body, as long as it doesn't affect me or anyone I know, so why should you care?

The shaming comes from making people feel like everyone thinks they should be doing something, and they're not because they don't want to or don't feel like they should because other people are telling them to.

Then theres tactful... "Loved one, you don't seem happy about your body anymore, what can we do to make this right, and we can do it together?" or "I'm just being helpful comments" like "Loved one, you're getting a bit pudgy, perhaps it couldn't hurt to lose a few pounds, then you wouldn't be miserably anymore"

I think it kind of depends who says it and how.

If it was my Mom saying it to me, I would know it was because she's worried about my health (she suffers from a lot of health problems due to being overweight herself and is worried my sisters and I will end up the same). But if anyone else told me I was fat, I would be greatly upset.

Every day I walk around and can't help but want to go up to people (lots of them) and grab them by the shoulders and shake them and say "Hey! Just what do you think you've been doing?!" I was once one of them and so that urge is strong. How to do that constructively is the question. And now I often pause to think about what other things I'm still delusional.

Ok, and what about their appearance suggests they're not already doing something about it?
The worst thing I ever felt was people coming up behind me on the way to pick up my son, and telling me I was fat and that I should lose weight.... and that really hurt because I had been exercising and losing weight for more than a year... yes I was still overweight but I was 30 lbs lighter than when I started...
So just because someone is overweight doesn't mean that A they're not aware of it, and B theyre not already doing something about it...