Because I really need to talk!

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ale7714
ale7714 Posts: 7
in Motivation and Support
Hi!

I've been using myfitnesspal for a while now, and sometimes I come here and read some posts to get useful info or motivation :) although I never post (I don't know I didn't feel I have something useful to say). But today I really really need to talk here's the situation:
I feel depress and so ugly, even when I'm trying to eat healthy and exercise I feel is just not enough. I'm in a "relationship" right now and I think is driving me crazy (I'm going to the psychologist next week, so you can imagine how I feel) because according to him, he loves me and wants to be with me but he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. But I've seeing him writing to some girls (really beautiful girls) asking her out and telling her stuff like he is looking for a real relationship. And I've come to the conclusion that he don't want to be in a relationship with me because I'm ugly, he even sometimes tell me that 'I'm fat' or that 'I look kind of ugly'.
I know how stupid this sound, but I feel horrible this is broken me badly. And lately I'm thinking he's right, guys aren't that interested on me and the few guys who are I don't like him back.
And this feel is affecting my work life, my social life, everything. I just have this feeling that I would ended up alone because I'm not skinny enough!!! and I hate it, I truly hate it.
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Replies

  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    You aren't ugly. Besides, lots of ugly people fall in love and find people who treat them kindly. Don't put up with it.
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
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    um you're very pretty and he's a loser. never let a man tell you you aren't attractive.
  • barb1241
    barb1241 Posts: 324 Member
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    (((HUGS))) You deserve someone who will love you just for being you-with all of your assets and your faults-nobody is perfect-and you should dump this jerk and find a real BF who will cherish you as you are and support whatever you do.
  • kbsarah15
    kbsarah15 Posts: 1 Member
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    You're a beautiful girl. You need to kick that guy to the curb! You deserve - and you will find - much better.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    DTMFA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    and I really mean that. If someone is talking down to you and making you feel bad about your body, that isn't love. And there are other people out there...hella amazing people out there... all you gotta do is find your own joy and chase after it. And you will find someone else chasing their own joy, and you'll realize you both be running in the same direction and chase your joy together.

    My advice: dump him already and immediately schedule a vacation someplace where you will learn how to surf.

    Trust me.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    The guy is a jerk. This has nothing to do with you. He's a jerk and he's manipulating you and using you.

    Dump him. Plain & simple.
  • minnndymae
    minnndymae Posts: 41 Member
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    DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY, LOSE HIM!! I promise you, there is someone out there who does/will love you for you and NOT treat you this way. This is complely unacceptable! NEVER, EVER think its okay for a man to say these things to you, he is NO man.....and I'm sorry to say this, but he does not love you....he just doesn't want to hurt you, so hes leading you on until he finds the next best thing. YOU are too good for that, if he did love you he wouldn't be out looking for anyone else. I'm sorry, but let go of him for YOU....focus on YOU and the rest of it will come, when its suppose to. Don't settle for a life of heartache with this guy....your young, beautiful and have a whole life ahead of you. There is a better life than what your living now, I promise!
  • mathjulz
    mathjulz Posts: 5,514 Member
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    #1 The first weight you should lose is the guy. Telling you "you're kinda ugly" or "you're fat" is not an indication of anything other than a desire to control. If he doesn't want the relationship to be serious, and is asking other women out, it's not really a relationship, anyway. And you deserve much better.

    #2 YOU ARE NOT UGLY. Just from looking at your profile picture, I can say that you are a very pretty young woman.

    #3 From your picture, you aren't fat. You may feel like you want to lose some, and that's okay, as long as you are doing it to feel better, not to snag some guy. And, even if you have a few pounds to lose (I can't say either way, no idea about your height/weight) YOUR WEIGHT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU, OR YOUR WORTH.

    I'm glad you're getting in to see someone. I hope they can help you see the positives in you. I hope that you can learn to talk to yourself nicely and not let anyone else drag you down.
  • markymarrkk
    markymarrkk Posts: 495 Member
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    The guy is a jerk. This has nothing to do with you. He's a jerk and he's manipulating you and using you.

    Dump him. Plain & simple.

    Yup, he's a dlck for telling you that kinda shlt, he's leading you on to keep you there as a for sure thing, ya need to move on girl!! focus on yourself and the things you love.

    There's somebody for everybody, once you get over him and move on, maybe you'll be more open on giving those guys a chance that you "didn't like back"
  • chkn_WANG_Train
    chkn_WANG_Train Posts: 143
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    your letting someone touch you who tells you you are ugly and fat?

    He sounds like an abusive *kitten* who is controlling you by manipulating your kind soul into thinking you deserve nothing better.


    WHEN YOU IN FACT DO.

    No one here telling you you are beautiful is going to make you believe it, that is going to be you realizing it. And you aren't going to feel beautiful until you treat yourself beautifully, and respect yourself enough to realize this guy isn't for you and you don't deserve this sort of torture. Do yourself a favor, let him know you can't see him anymore, and then take a nice day at the spa to feel just how beautiful you are.
  • cwaters120
    cwaters120 Posts: 354 Member
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    First: You are NOT ugly! HE is the ugly one for being so judgmental and rude :mad:

    Second: if he REALLY wanted a relationship, with you or anybody else, he would NOT say you're even "kind of" ugly or fat! :explode:

    Third: dump his sorry butt!!! :angry: He is NOT worth your time, your effort, your worry or your health (because ultimately that is what this is doing by making you so stressed, etc.) !

    Last (but certainly not the least :blushing: ): NEVER depend on someone else for your happiness! Find and do the things that make you happy in life. Be it certain people, HEALTHY eating, certain places, activities - whatever it may be - SURROUND yourself with it :bigsmile: Do it because you ARE worth it, because you can, and because it's good for you. Only you let him make you this nuts - TAKE THAT POWER BACK AND ENJOY IT!! :drinker:

    (steps off soap box...) :flowerforyou:
  • jenmarie2012
    jenmarie2012 Posts: 180 Member
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    First off get rid off the baggage!!! (Throw the guy to the side) he obviously does not deserve a beautiful respectable women like you! Second you have to do this for YOU ONLY don't do this for some guy. So my advise is dump your man and concentrate on you!! You are the only one that can do this. Once your happy everything else will fall in place. ???? You got this girl you just have to decide what you want to do ~just remember anyone has the power to accomplish anything~ Jen xx
  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
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    He might not be the right guy for you but it's not because of you; he's probably looking for something else right now. Don't blame yourself or how you look because you are very pretty.

    I hope you can learn to feel better about youself and, in time, you will find the right person. Sometimes it takes time - and sometimes it comes easier once you are more comfortable in your own skin and confident. That might sound impossible but you can get there!
  • jillmarie125
    jillmarie125 Posts: 418 Member
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    ok- I know it is so much easier said than done, but you need to just cut him out of your life. Don't let anyone make you feel that way. Yes it will be hard, because not only will your heart be broken but your self esteem is broken as well. But everyday, it will get easier. I think talking to a professional is going to help you out a lot. This guy seems like a big *kitten* and will keep treating you this way, because you are letting him. You are nobodys doormat! I know you have heard this so many times, because I think we all have, but I am going to say it anyways. Until you love yourself, you will not find real love. Take a break from dating, and work on yourself. Find out what makes you happy. There is never a need for a useless boy. Never.
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
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    Dump him - anyone who says things like this isn't worth your time, effort or love.

    Find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

    The guy is an idiot!
  • Shauncho49
    Shauncho49 Posts: 132 Member
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    Dude is SOOOO not worth it. You're freakin GORGEOUS!!!
  • jdm0804
    jdm0804 Posts: 98 Member
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    That's a rough situation to be in. It seems reasonable for you to feel hurt. It may be wise for you to examine what it is about this relationship that keeps you in it. If you feel loved and supported (which it sounds like you don't), then stay in it and do the necessary work; if you feel beaten down and believe that you aren't worthy of love, then this relationship is not doing you any favors.

    I would advise you to turn to friends and family for social support, and define the relationship in firm terms. If he doesn't want you and only you, then he can leave. Insecurity can easily deceive a person into believing that no one will ever love them. The truth is that in order to be loved by others, a person must first learn to love themselves. It's a lesson I've had to learn the hard way. I don't know your exact situation, but you may ask your psychologist for some referrals to counselors in your area.

    There is not a person alive who isn't beautiful to someone!
  • ale7714
    ale7714 Posts: 7
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    Wow! Thanks I think you are right... I know you're right!! And I really really need to say it, so many thanks.
    I will definitely talk to him. I hate this feeling of hating myself, because I'm actually working really hard to get healthier.
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
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    I think you have a beautiful face. Your smile is contagious! My advice is to dump this guy and work on loving yourself before you get into another relationship. Focus on what you like about yourself. Find some postive, encouraging quotes and write them down and tape them to your mirror and read them to yourself every day until you start believing them. When that little voice in your head tells you that you're ugly or fat, tell it to shut up because it's lying to you.

    Anyone who is only looking at surface beauty isn't worth your time. Real beauty comes from within. Our physical appearance changes (usually not for the better) as we age, but our inner beauty will become whatever we make of it. Do you treat people kindly? Do you have a positive outlook on life most of the time (we all have bad days)? Are you a good friend? People may be initially drawn to physical beauty but it's the inner beauty that keeps them around.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Find some some other guy... that doesn't have "JERK" or "I'm insecure with myself, so I call other people rude names to make myself feel better" (Would have to have a huge forehead for that last one)

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