Because I really need to talk!

You are not fat, you are not ugly. Trust me! This guy isn't worth another second of your time. There are lots of really great, wonderful men out there, spend your time and energy on one of those x

Exactly he is that bump in your rd. we are all here to support so YOU can do it ???????????? friend request if you would like.

Edit : just sent you a friend req. ????

I definitely think that going to therapy is a must! You need to explore why you feel it's okay to be in this type of relationship. I fully understand because I have also been in unhealthy relationships because I didn't feel like I was capable or deserving of anything better. You are a special person who deserves to be treated like you are special. Keep yourself surrounded by healthy relationships and dump the ones that make you feel bad. Commit yourself to therapy so you can learn the difference. It's probably not enough to go a couple times and think you are fixed. Really get to the root of it so you don't find yourself in the same place down the line.

Keep telling yourself that you are special and beautiful!

Glad you came here to talk! Let me echo the rest -- this is a guy that isn't ready for a relationship *with you* and that does not mean it is *about you* or how you look. He's keeping you hanging on until he finds whatever it is he thinks he wants in a relationship, and if he doesn't, then he'll go ahead and settle for you (in his mind), and in doing so, more than likely, he'll make your life miserable.

It is hard when this happens to believe that it isn't something we did: we're not thin enough, pretty enough, boobs too small, boobs too big, *kitten* too big, whatever. Bottom line: it's about the two of you as a couple -- it just isn't working for him.

I spent a couple years on a long-distance pseudo-relationship post-divorce. We talked about how we were perfect for each other but neither wanted a relationship because we were coming off of some major bad relationship issues. However, at some point, I started feeling like we were essentially dating -- until, of course, he told me he was getting married. I started out telling the truth, and maybe he did too, and we both ended up lying -- I lied by omission in not telling him I was ready for a relationship and wanted it to be him (thus giving him the opportunity to decide), and he lied by saying he still wasn't ready for a relationship but really just wasn't wanting a relationship with me. I then spent a few months in self-flagellation, berating myself for being so stupid, too fat, not pretty enough, etc. and then I realized something: I AM AWESOME. Period. We just were in an imbalanced relationship, and I let it happen, and he took advantage of that, and if we had moved into a relationship, that imbalance would have continued.

Whatever you do -- remember this: YOU ARE AWESOME. This relationship may not work out, and he may say some horrible, cutting things just to hurt you (may not - some people do that though as a knee-jerk reaction to wrest control over a situation and person) -- but whatever he says that hurts, let it wash over you. You are worthy of a great relationship that makes you happy. First and foremost, make that relationship a personal one, with yourself. The rest will follow.

You deserve, and can do, so much better than this guy. You are not ugly or fat, he is only saying you are to break down your confidence so you won't have the confidence in yourself to believe you can get out there and do better. Don't let him ruin your confidence because of his dysfunction. Like the previous post said, take the power off him and don't rely on him for your happiness. You will do much better in life without him bringing you down.

Even if you didn't like them back, you still had guys interested in you, so that proves you aren't ugly or fat. If I were you, I would get shot of that loser and focus 100% on what you want in life, and your confidence will naturally grow. You will meet someone worthy of you and who will see you for what you are, an attractive young woman! x

I agree the guy is a TOTAL JERK!! DUMP HIM FIRST!!!! You arn't ugly! It is your low life boyfriend that has you feeling this way!! Feel free to add me as a friend!! :flowerforyou:

My best friend was in a relationship like that.

she is gorgeous....

and he chased her....and as soon as she agreed to date him, he started telling her that she was too fat, she shouldn't eat so much and that she wasn't all that pretty (again she's gorgeous)

then when she would stop eating, he would tell her she was eating too little blah blah blah...

and the WHOLE time he would hit on other girls and make her feel unattractive.

basically the guy was a dilhole.....

he had what he wanted and he felt a burning need to destroy it having won it....

he needed to wreck her and control her.....

it took about three months (three heartbreaking months of me watching on the sidelines) but she finally woke up and dumped his sorry *kitten*....

don't waste your time. he's not worth it,

Believe me , if he didnt think you were atractive he wouldnt be together with you. This is a very comon game some people ( especially man ) likes to play. Make you think you are wroth less then you do , so he can always have you in his hand. Its called breaking someone psychologically , or brainwashing. Stars with the looks and then its with the personality. Soon he will be making fun of the things you say, insinuating you are naive or stupied or just clumsy. Its more then bullying , it can destroy completly your self image and self wroth. Dont let yourself be fooleed .....Ive heard that thousands of times and now a days i cary this inner voice inside, when there is no one putting me down i put myself down mentally. Leave him imediatly!

....