Because I really need to talk!

LEAVE ASAP! This is the beginning stages of an abusive relationship. His goal is to isolate you, kill your self esteem and make you think you are not deserving of anything better. He tells you he isn't wanting a serious relationship because then it is an excuse for him to talk to other women and when he leaves or cheats he can say " I told you I didn't want anything serious." You deserve better. Get out now before he causes damage that will follow you for a long time. I was in a marriage with someone like that, althought he never called me ugly, he would talk to other women and would always tell me if I didn't like that or his controlling behaviors, etc, to divorce him. So I did... Well I was a train wreck after without full knoweldge of how bad I was... (and I am a counselor). I got myself into a WORSE relationship with verbal abuse, controlling behavior, and eventually physical abuse. But this girl doesn't like being controlled and after 3 months, I broke free. But let me tell you, undoing all that damage is NOT easy. I have been seeing a psychologist for a year now and am actually better then ever but I do still have some lingering self esteem issues. It helped me identify and finally see what I deserve in someone and demand it even if it meant leaving a relationship. I am engaged to a wonderful man now who tells me I am beautiful all the time. I am glad you are going to see a psychologist. Be honest and if that professional is good you will see what steps you need to take and have the courage to take them.

Listen to me......you ARE pretty and deserving of someone wonderful! Don't give up....NEVER do this!!!!!!! Go to the therapist and listen. Look at all the people here who don't even know you and took the time to encourage you. This WILL get better!!!!

You're not ugly. I am not a super nice forum person either -- so I am not just saying that. You're a lovely young women. I am a photographer by trade, if you came to me and wanted a photo session, I would not cringe and ask myself "why, god? why her -- it will take so much work for her to look decent.". I HAVE thought that in the past too about previous clients.

Tell the guy that you are looking for relationship, so sorry about his luck, but you have to go. Go see the therapist. Discover yourself. Be good to yourself and never let a man tell you that you aren't worth his respect (any man that calls you names IS disrespecting you). I was with somebody who never seemed to want to commit, though he was good to me in every other way, after a year of "I don't want a relationship" my suspicion was that he was waiting on something "better" to come along. I bounced. Not long after I met my husband.

This guy sounds like he wants to control you and the relationship. Don't let him. You deserve more and he deserves so much less.

You shouldn't be around anyone that has to put someone down so that they can feel better about themselves. No one deserves that type of abuse. You are too good for him. Drop him like a bad habbit. You'd be surprised at how many opportunities to meet your prince charming that you may be passing up while hanging with this loser. You're a very pretty girl and I'm sure that once you get rid of the dead weight (him) you'll recognize all sorts of guys trying to get to know you.

He's playing a game with you. He figures you're not what he wants but you'll do for now. So he keeps you, and he keeps you insecure so you won't give him too much trouble while he searches for someone else.

When some other poor victim agrees to date this loser he'll ditch you. If it works out with the new one, good riddance, you won't hear from him again. But if she realizes he's a douche and dumps him, you can expect a hilariously pitiful and flattering phonecall from him as he tries desperately to get back with you so he won't be alone for one second. If you fall for that and take him back, the cycle will repeat itself.

Dump him now and walk away head high. Block his number and tell him you never want to see him again. That will let you salvage your pride. Also you're quite pretty. And even if you weren't, as someone already said, there are plenty of physically less attractive people out there who are in happy, healthy relationships with decent partners.

Wow, so you dated my ex, too, huh?

OP: Walk away. Or RUN away. You deserve sooooooo much more and I can guarantee you will be a million times happier without him. Being alone (single) is way better than being in a relationship that makes you feel like ****! And, like many other people who've replied, I know that from experience.

Honey, here's a quick way to lose 180 pounds...drop his sorry butt like a hot rock.

Wow, so you dated my ex, too, huh?

OP: Walk away. Or RUN away. You deserve sooooooo much more and I can guarantee you will be a million times happier without him. Being alone (single) is way better than being in a relationship that makes you feel like ****! And, like many other people who've replied, I know that from experience.
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I second this post. :drinker:

You are NOT ugly!!! Dump his loser *kitten*.

THIS IS ABUSE!!!!!!!

I know someone else said it too, but the things he is saying to you is emotional abuse. This kind of abuse is extremely damaging to your self image (as is all abuse). I am so glad you are getting help. He will try to get you to quit the counseling, because it threatens his position of power. Get the help and get out. And do it now. I was married to my abuser for 11 yrs and had two daughters, which I had to share custody of with him, because the courts have a hard enough time dealing with physical/sexual abuse that they won't touch emotional abuse.

You are worth so much more.