Some people can be super negative when replying to posts...

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  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    I hear you 100%... Sometimes I can't believe the crap that some people will say...Aren't we supposed to be here to help each other?

    How do you "help" someone who insists that restricting their caloric intake to 1000 calories/day and exercises to burn 800 calories/day is a good, sound, healthy program of weight loss?
    All you can do is inform them of the right way..you cant help their decisions.

    Yes, I agree. But many see that as "negativity" and not being supportive.

    You are only responsible for what you say, not how others understand it.
  • kiwidrop
    kiwidrop Posts: 222 Member
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    I just joined, and I'm liking it so far. But it seems quite a few people are really negative or even mean when replying to other peoples posts. I mean, if someone is asking a question it does no good to reply with a sarcastic comment that insults their intelligence... Just because something is easy for one person doesn't mean it is for another. Right? People ask questions to find answers, not to be ridiculed or insulted. Anyone noticed this???

    Absolutely agree! After the first page, I had to stop reading the replies to your post because they were getting too condescending and belittling. People on these boards (really most public internet sites) say so much that they would never say in person. I hate all the negativety too. Like some others have said, I mostly stay to my group of friends on this page who have all been really positive. I only occasionally read and reply to the message boards. Feel free to friend me, only positive support here.
  • athyraslove
    athyraslove Posts: 145
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    Another question then, to all you regular users...a big complaint seems to be that you guys hate answering the same questions, and repetitiveness. So, keeping that in mind, did all of you read the replies to my post before you replied? Because there seems to be quite a bit of repeptitive info. And if I'm not supposed to be allowed to ask a dumb question in the "introduce yourself" forum that has been beaten to death, why do some of you not go through and read allll the pages on this post so you don't repeat what someone else has already said? Or notice that 2 pages back I said I was sorry and now understood everything alot better? Seems like the same thing to me, but obviously I'm not the brightest crayon in the box or I wouldn't have been the OP. (Just figured out what that meant! See, never been on a forum, sorry for not knowing everything like all you glorious posters.) I do though, appreciate everyones input and comments. It's been entertaining as well as informative. :) (was this too god aweful long and filled with terrible spelling erros? That I do know, is yes. :P)

    Sometimes when I browse with my phone, I can only access the first page. That said -- forums tend to happen quickly -- you will sometimes see that lots of people are posting at the same time. Other people just don't read all the responses, say what they want to avoid getting sucked into drama or because lazy.

    Thing is, it's not that you can't ask -- I don't think anyone here is being mean to you or negative -- just giving info that will probably be helpful to you at some point. Once you post something, you basically lose ownership of it. I saw you post about getting it now a while back, I continued to talk to others about the topic because essentially what you have done is opened a particular dialog and invited people to talk about your topic. If you want it to be more focused, seriously, check out the groups.

    Sounds like a case of the lazies, same as people like me who don't bother to read through old forums (or know that was an option) or who don't learn everything about the site and tools before they start asking questions. I wasn't reffering to you specifically, You appear to be checking all the replies and giving concise (too lazy to check if that's spelled right), useful information. :) I also don't think anyone is being mean to me in this thread at all. Exasperated and annoyed maybe but nobody has been mean. My op wasn't even about anyone being mean to me, it was about something I saw on another thread.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    You're right.its hard enough to loose weight. We need encouragement.not negativity..


    amen.
  • Arazante
    Arazante Posts: 12
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    I think, for one, it is the interwebs and people feel comfortable being the jerks they can't be IRL. And secondly, it being a fairly simplistic forum (reminds me of Gaia Online) dedicated to losing weight/working out- there are a lot of insecure, negative, and/or narcissistic-types of personalities.

    People tend to project when they don't want to analyze themselves because there's something negative there that they don't enjoy about themselves. I tend to post something and never look at the topic again, because I worry about people flaming/arguing with me and I'm a Squishy.
  • pghlulu
    pghlulu Posts: 42
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    Yes, and as you can see, you posted a topic about it and now you are getting negative, condescending posts from people. It can be very annoying. And sometimes degrading and hurtful.


    Just ignore the jackholes, and filter through for the beneficial and positive advice.
  • athyraslove
    athyraslove Posts: 145
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    P.S. You can always DELETE this post if you like!! good luck on your journey!!
    I sort of attempted too, but didn't see a giant red button anywhere that said "delete thread" on it and I have not cared enough to look up how. People can vent about whatever on it now, it's pretty entertaining. And now then somebody says something I can learn from. :)
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    Another question then, to all you regular users...a big complaint seems to be that you guys hate answering the same questions, and repetitiveness. So, keeping that in mind, did all of you read the replies to my post before you replied? Because there seems to be quite a bit of repeptitive info. And if I'm not supposed to be allowed to ask a dumb question in the "introduce yourself" forum that has been beaten to death, why do some of you not go through and read allll the pages on this post so you don't repeat what someone else has already said? Or notice that 2 pages back I said I was sorry and now understood everything alot better? Seems like the same thing to me, but obviously I'm not the brightest crayon in the box or I wouldn't have been the OP. (Just figured out what that meant! See, never been on a forum, sorry for not knowing everything like all you glorious posters.) I do though, appreciate everyones input and comments. It's been entertaining as well as informative. :) (was this too god aweful long and filled with terrible spelling erros? That I do know, is yes. :P)

    Sometimes when I browse with my phone, I can only access the first page. That said -- forums tend to happen quickly -- you will sometimes see that lots of people are posting at the same time. Other people just don't read all the responses, say what they want to avoid getting sucked into drama or because lazy.

    Thing is, it's not that you can't ask -- I don't think anyone here is being mean to you or negative -- just giving info that will probably be helpful to you at some point. Once you post something, you basically lose ownership of it. I saw you post about getting it now a while back, I continued to talk to others about the topic because essentially what you have done is opened a particular dialog and invited people to talk about your topic. If you want it to be more focused, seriously, check out the groups.

    Sounds like a case of the lazies, same as people like me who don't bother to read through old forums (or know that was an option) or who don't learn everything about the site and tools before they start asking questions. I wasn't reffering to you specifically, You appear to be checking all the replies and giving concise (too lazy to check if that's spelled right), useful information. :) I also don't think anyone is being mean to me in this thread at all. Exasperated and annoyed maybe but nobody has been mean. My op wasn't even about anyone being mean to me, it was about something I saw on another thread.
    I think you will do just fine here you have spunk. Topic always seem to drift into a whole new subject I try and get it back on track in most thread but ppl dont listen they ar etoo busy trying to prove who is right or how their diet is better lol
  • cindybpitts
    cindybpitts Posts: 213 Member
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    there are no stupid questions.


    just stupid people that didn't use google first.
    You can google some things but you cant google all...I was one of the ones eating 1200 cals a day and didnt lose weight..so I posted asking for help..(I was thinking 1200 cals was so great ) so never would I had googled anything asking about the 1200 cals..but by me getting answers from real people I know better now. I actually had probably googled problems losing weight..if googling was that helpful then I wouldve known a LONG time ago. Yes, I did google TDEE after seeing it posted on here..people dont know unless they ask, thats why its a message board on here.
  • athyraslove
    athyraslove Posts: 145
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    I just joined, and I'm liking it so far. But it seems quite a few people are really negative or even mean when replying to other peoples posts. I mean, if someone is asking a question it does no good to reply with a sarcastic comment that insults their intelligence... Just because something is easy for one person doesn't mean it is for another. Right? People ask questions to find answers, not to be ridiculed or insulted. Anyone noticed this???

    Absolutely agree! After the first page, I had to stop reading the replies to your post because they were getting too condescending and belittling. People on these boards (really most public internet sites) say so much that they would never say in person. I hate all the negativety too. Like some others have said, I mostly stay to my group of friends on this page who have all been really positive. I only occasionally read and reply to the message boards. Feel free to friend me, only positive support here.

    Just to be clear I'm not upset with anything anyone has posted on this thread. :) I don't consider any of the previous posts as attacks on me or anything. I seriously did not know how things worked here (or any forum/blog) and so I made a classic newbie mistake. I can laugh at myself.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    there really needs to be a sarcasm font
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    when people don't hear (or read) what they want to hear it can certainly come across as uber negative and un-helpful.

    just sayin'

    This. Plus I've noticed a very high percentage of people are unable to recognize humor.
    Another percentage takes other people's posts and take them personally/get butthurt, even though that post might not be directed at them.
  • athyraslove
    athyraslove Posts: 145
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    Another question then, to all you regular users...a big complaint seems to be that you guys hate answering the same questions, and repetitiveness. So, keeping that in mind, did all of you read the replies to my post before you replied? Because there seems to be quite a bit of repeptitive info. And if I'm not supposed to be allowed to ask a dumb question in the "introduce yourself" forum that has been beaten to death, why do some of you not go through and read allll the pages on this post so you don't repeat what someone else has already said? Or notice that 2 pages back I said I was sorry and now understood everything alot better? Seems like the same thing to me, but obviously I'm not the brightest crayon in the box or I wouldn't have been the OP. (Just figured out what that meant! See, never been on a forum, sorry for not knowing everything like all you glorious posters.) I do though, appreciate everyones input and comments. It's been entertaining as well as informative. :) (was this too god aweful long and filled with terrible spelling erros? That I do know, is yes. :P)

    Sometimes when I browse with my phone, I can only access the first page. That said -- forums tend to happen quickly -- you will sometimes see that lots of people are posting at the same time. Other people just don't read all the responses, say what they want to avoid getting sucked into drama or because lazy.

    Thing is, it's not that you can't ask -- I don't think anyone here is being mean to you or negative -- just giving info that will probably be helpful to you at some point. Once you post something, you basically lose ownership of it. I saw you post about getting it now a while back, I continued to talk to others about the topic because essentially what you have done is opened a particular dialog and invited people to talk about your topic. If you want it to be more focused, seriously, check out the groups.

    Sounds like a case of the lazies, same as people like me who don't bother to read through old forums (or know that was an option) or who don't learn everything about the site and tools before they start asking questions. I wasn't reffering to you specifically, You appear to be checking all the replies and giving concise (too lazy to check if that's spelled right), useful information. :) I also don't think anyone is being mean to me in this thread at all. Exasperated and annoyed maybe but nobody has been mean. My op wasn't even about anyone being mean to me, it was about something I saw on another thread.
    I think you will do just fine here you have spunk. Topic always seem to drift into a whole new subject I try and get it back on track in most thread but ppl dont listen they ar etoo busy trying to prove who is right or how their diet is better lol
    Thanks! I made a booboo, but I learned from it and that makes it worth it!
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
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    Mostly I don't care if people are mean or rude or whatever. It really doesn't have anything to do with me. I don't take it personally. Also online is great cuz ignore button. So, if someone is truly toxic they just go into the pit with the rest of the mean people.
  • marinachan83
    marinachan83 Posts: 13
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    [/quote]
    Don't forget there's also a lot of people who perhaps aren't the brightest. It's kind of irritating so it's hard not to act like a douche sometimes. For example this is a website largely devoted to weight loss. Why oh why can people not learn the difference between LOSE and LOOSE. It's so friggin' simple.

    And if I was a complete douche I'd have quoted from the person in this thread who doesn't know the difference...
    [/quote]

    Bad written English doesn't necessarily mean a person is lacking intelligence. Some of us just aren't gifted with a proper understanding of the written word (like use of the alot* monster).

    I admit personally I am the worlds worst for not reading through previous forum posts. So I can't say that I would be one that wouldn't be guilty of asking an already answered question every now and then. But I think as far as the discourteous nature of some peoples posts; I tend to believe that many people forget that not every diet or exercise works for everyone else. We are all different and have to find what works for us to be successful.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    there are no stupid questions.


    just stupid people that didn't use google first.
    You can google some things but you cant google all...I was one of the ones eating 1200 cals a day and didnt lose weight..so I posted asking for help..(I was thinking 1200 cals was so great ) so never would I had googled anything asking about the 1200 cals..but by me getting answers from real people I know better now. I actually had probably googled problems losing weight..if googling was that helpful then I wouldve known a LONG time ago. Yes, I did google TDEE after seeing it posted on here..people dont know unless they ask, thats why its a message board on here.

    right. but you did google something before you came to the message boards.
  • Nana_Booboo
    Nana_Booboo Posts: 501 Member
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    In my experience there are those that are very opinionated and strong about what they believe. I tend to stay away from the "community" because of the rude people but there are good people too. Take with you what helps and disregard the stuff that doesn't. Form your list of friends and try to ween out the "muscle mutts from the health nuts. You'll quickly see there are those that are here to lose weight, those who lift and believe in eating 3000 cal, those who live in a gym and those that don't. It's a community of all kinds of people on their own path. Find yours. ")
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    why do some of you not go through and read allll the pages on this post so you don't repeat what someone else has already said? Or notice that 2 pages back I said I was sorry and now understood everything alot better? Seems like the same thing to me,

    Yes, this is also a problem. Obviously we all want to chime in and share our expert advise. :laugh:

    But it can be a problem... like the guy who started a thread asking for help and then a week or so in, he died, and people kept just answering the post over and over repetitively even after reading the addition by someone else that the OP had DIED.
  • jgcurry3
    jgcurry3 Posts: 172 Member
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    Alot of the time their questions could have been answered by a tiny bit of research. It can be frustrating to the people trying to help if the same question gets asked over and over again, but when good advice is given the individual ignores the good advice and takes advice from someone worse off than themselves. Im sorry but if I needed advice on how to handle my money I'm not gonna take advice from a bum. Same goes on here, if I have a problem concerning weight or fitness, I'm probably not going to listen to someone with 20+% body fat (ladies are different, yall get up to 30 ish).
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
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    oh god here we go another 'everyone is rude on MFP"....

    Look if someone is claiming some garbage about missing snack three and being in starvation mode, or being in starvation mode in general i am going to call them on it...

    Also, a lot of people say things that they have "heard" or "read" on the net that is just blatantly wrong...would you rather everyone not correct record and you do some raspberry ketone cleanse and then gain all the weight back..or would you rather find out what really works..???

    Look some of us - myself included - are wise a##'s ...sorry but I like to get a good laugh out of the threads...

    there is always the ignore button ..which half of you have already hit on me by now..:)

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