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VOLUNTEER girls coach was fired last night.
Replies
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I abhor parents that take children's sports too seriously like that.
While it sounds like this parent / coach was excessive...how would you feel if the kid wanted and asked to be pushed that hard?
funny you said that, we just found out who the allstar coach is going to be, so my catcher is turning down the request for her to be the catcher for the team. she sat at the dining room table last night and said, "hes not a good enough coach, hes not strict enough with his girls, i dont want to play for a team like that."0 -
Those that can - do. Those that can't - force their children to do it instead.
Sweeping generalization...as a previous coach and now an umpire this is not usually the case.0 -
I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.
I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...
Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.0 -
Those that can - do. Those that can't - force their children to do it instead.
OMG, this is the BEST quote I've heard! :laugh: My husband is a rather elite basketball trainer and coaches travel teams. He has quite the time with some parents---basically said that same thing, along the lines of "they're mad they never got to be a starter. . ." etc.:grumble:0 -
Those that can - do. Those that can't - force their children to do it instead.
Sweeping generalization...as a previous coach and now an umpire this is not usually the case.
You obviously don't live in my area of the country. . .0 -
I abhor parents that take children's sports too seriously like that.
While it sounds like this parent / coach was excessive...how would you feel if the kid wanted and asked to be pushed that hard?
You think a 10 or 11 year old girl would ask to me embarrassed in front of her friends?
I helped my dad coach my sister, 10 years younger than I, and I had step kids that said they wanted to play college and made me take them to the ball field for extra practice. While I said fine that meant they had to follow my rules so they would get better. Every game had a post-game down load. During one game the oldest was asked to sacrifice bunt. Instead he bunted to the pitcher and they got the lead runner out. I then yelled across the field, "You did not do your job, you now owe me a run." He worked his butt off to score and pay back the run.
My sister played college softball and started all 4 years and has records at her school. The boys, I am not with their mother any longer, still invite me to their ball games and have thanked me for pushing them the way I did.
-Judge not lest ye be judged...0 -
This came to me from a single -A pitching coach...
http://goodcallsbaseball.blogspot.com/2012/03/top-10-things-kids-want-parents-to-do.html?m=10 -
Those that can - do. Those that can't - force their children to do it instead.
Sweeping generalization...as a previous coach and now an umpire this is not usually the case.
You obviously don't live in my area of the country. . .
not sure but I can promise I spend more time at parks at many levels and as bad as it may get or be this is the exception rather than the rule.0 -
I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.
I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...
Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.
My dad would yell things to/at me all the time at my sporting events.
He would only yell at me at home if I deserved it.
OP is so sure that this is getting taken out on this girl at home, but yet is doing nothing but making a thread about it on the internet.0 -
I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.
I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...
Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.
My dad would yell things to/at me all the time at my sporting events.
He would only yell at me at home if I deserved it.
OP is so sure that this is getting taken out on this girl at home, but yet is doing nothing but making a thread about it on the internet.
that was my point as well. if it was THAT bad, THAT horrible, THAT abusive... do something about it... otherwise, it was tough, maybe a little overboard coaching, but nothing that the kids cant handle...0 -
I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.
I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...
Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.
My dad would yell things to/at me all the time at my sporting events.
He would only yell at me at home if I deserved it.
OP is so sure that this is getting taken out on this girl at home, but yet is doing nothing but making a thread about it on the internet.
And you're so sure that it's NOT happening even though you weren't there to witness how bad, or not, it may have been.
Are you telling us that you've never once witnessed a parent doing something that you personally considered uncomfortable / awful to their child and felt it wasn't your place to intervene, so you didn't?0 -
Screaming at your children while they play a game is pathetic.0
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How many calories are in a crabby patty?Sounds like someone's been eating a few too many crabby patties.0 -
I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.
I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...
Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.
My dad would yell things to/at me all the time at my sporting events.
He would only yell at me at home if I deserved it.
OP is so sure that this is getting taken out on this girl at home, but yet is doing nothing but making a thread about it on the internet.
And you're so sure that it's NOT happening even though you weren't there to witness how bad, or not, it may have been.
Are you telling us that you've never once witnessed a parent doing something that you personally considered uncomfortable / awful to their child and felt it wasn't your place to intervene, so you didn't?
If I see something that I know is bad, and shouldn't be going on, then yes I will say something..and I have.
We are not all perfect. We are ALL making assumptions here. Was it bad? idk. Was it a parent being hard on their kid? Probably.
Was it abusive? None of us know that...
My point is that if it was so bad, and the OP is worried about the child, then yes he should do/say something..
I just don't think a parent yelling at their kid at a sporting event does not warrant that...0 -
i honestly believe that parents should be barred from all their kids athletic events unless they sign a waiver stating they will only applaud and not yell anything negatively.
ive seen far too many parents yell for their son/daughter to shoot the ball dont pass when obviously a coach has instructed them differently or yell about how dirty so and so player is and that he needs taught a lesson (much more graphic language)
i remember watching my cousin playing hockey in the 16-17 age range and he was a physical kid at about 6'2. i am sure he crossed the line as far as hitting that was allowed in the league he played in and played teams from cleveland, rochester new york and other cities.
well i remember a parent yelling at how that number 8 needs to be hurt and that her boy better do it. i chuckled and she said something to me and i just laughed at her and said im not too worried about it he can handle himself.
sure enough her son tried to level jason missed and pretty much knocked himself out crashing into the boards. i laughed at her again and said, if your sons intent was to injure 8 by making his ribs hurt from laughing then congrats.0 -
I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.
I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...
Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.
You could be right. But I tend to think that people's actions in public are usually worse when hidden from the public. And do you think that screaming at you helped you? I bet not.
Yes I do.
My dad was always yelling things that would help me in the game. Things that I may not have picked up on...
& he is the kindest greatest man I know...
There is a fine line between yelling encouraging words (come on, faster, you can do it!!) to yelling demeaningly at someone. (WHAT was that? Are you even TRYING?! ) I do not think the mom would have been removed from the position for yelling encourging words. And even IF she were I do not think EVERYONE in the stands would have sided with the coach alot of people would have seen it as encouragement I am sure and in turn showed the mom suppoet as well. but to have everyone chant at the woman to lighten up I think maybe it's safe to say she was going a little overboard! I wish all involved the best of luck!
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How many calories are in a crabby patty?Sounds like someone's been eating a few too many crabby patties.
None, because Krabby Patties are made with love, which has no calories.
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Funny!Sounds like someone's been eating a few too many crabby patties.0 -
As a coach of many sports, as the president of the local youth association, and as a parent I became very troubled by reading this post - all parts from beginning to end.
The head coach acted 80% appropriately. Acting out of emotion is never good and doing so in front of the spectators MAY not have been the best choice, but if the only choice I fully support it. I wasn't there and I take what you have written as the best place to act.
However...this is where it gets sticky.
You are worried about the child at home. It is now part of your responsibility to do everything within your power to make sure nothing is happening at home that remotely resembles what you see on the playing field. Ultimately, that child is going to suffer from this experience. Lessening this suffering is what needs to be done.
I encourage you to do what you can to make sure the child and family dynamic is not what is being implied. By doing so, either way you are going to satisfy the need to make sure this child is cared for appropriately.0 -
I don't mean to antagonize anyone here, but yelling at a kid during a game is never the proper thing to you. Usually if you are yelling, it is because you are agitated/mad and you are criticizing. That is never helpful -- that is, assuming the kid even hears, during the heat of competition.
The time for coaching is before the game. Competition is the time for support. Competition is a difficult, emotional thing.
If you have to coach during a game, take the kid aside at half time or sub them out of play for a bit, and then talk calmly with the kid.
Having someone yell at you that you are doing something you shouldn't, or not doing something you should, during the sweat and intensity of competition is only going to make you nervous. Or, worse, demoralized.
The best coaches I ever had in competitive soccer and baseball, worked us like dogs in practice. But, they were almost as silent as the grave during the game. I remember one of those coaches made us run two miles after a soccer game because he thought we did not put in full effort. It was the final game of the season. We were done. But, still, he was very calm and matter-of-fact during the game, and when he made us run afterwards. We were kids, after all.
My son plays rugby and his coach has coached teams that are nationally ranked. His sons play collegiate rugby. This guy lives rugby. But, I have never seen him yell at a kid. I have never seen him criticize a kid in front of others. Instead, he teaches with praise. It is quite admirable and instructive. Rugby kids are tough kids physically. But they have emotional vulnerabilities and feelings like anyone else.
It does not help to wound an athlete when they are out there trying, ever.
What happened to that poor girl is horrible -- especially horrible because it came from her parent.0 -
I don't think it's a leap at all. If she's screaming at her in public, she's screaming at her in private.I sure hope she doesn't "take it out" on the poor girl.
I think that's a pretty far leap you're taking...
Some parents can become VERY competitive.
I know that my dad was terrible about yelling at my sporting events. Only because he wanted me to BE THE BEST I CAN.
My dad would yell things to/at me all the time at my sporting events.
He would only yell at me at home if I deserved it.
OP is so sure that this is getting taken out on this girl at home, but yet is doing nothing but making a thread about it on the internet.
And you're so sure that it's NOT happening even though you weren't there to witness how bad, or not, it may have been.
Are you telling us that you've never once witnessed a parent doing something that you personally considered uncomfortable / awful to their child and felt it wasn't your place to intervene, so you didn't?
If I see something that I know is bad, and shouldn't be going on, then yes I will say something..and I have.
We are not all perfect. We are ALL making assumptions here. Was it bad? idk. Was it a parent being hard on their kid? Probably.
Was it abusive? None of us know that...
My point is that if it was so bad, and the OP is worried about the child, then yes he should do/say something..
I just don't think a parent yelling at their kid at a sporting event does not warrant that...
If I were OP I would try and talk to the daughter alone at the next game, assuming she doesn't get pulled off the team entirely because of this. But that's really the only tactful thing I can see to do from an outsider's perspective when you don't actually have proof of abuse to take to the school / police.
That doesn't mean OP deserves to be shamed for not having a "plan of action" when really, it is an awkward position with no clear "plan" to begin with. OP witnessed a parent treating her child in a way he felt was wrong-- and a crowd of parents seemed to agree, with the chanting, and also the coach who asked the mother to leave-- and yet if any one of those parents or the coach shares OP's concerns, now it is their responsibility to "do something" about it based on one instance of potential emotional abuse? I just don't really understand the logic here. Just because something makes you uncomfortable and you feel it's wrong doesn't mean it's your personal responsibility to fix it when you don't know the whole situation behind it...
I used to work in grocery stores, which brings out the absolute worst in children, because often they are hungry and tired, and the checkout aisles are full of candy that they immediately start begging for. I have seen parents absolutely lose their *kitten* at their children verbally, to the point where I've literally cringed. But everyone explodes sometimes, and how was I supposed to know whether this snapshot of the family I was seeing was representative of the big picture? Was it my responsibility to "do something" simply because I felt it was wrong to yell at a child throwing a temper tantrum?0 -
So last night my daughter's team played that team again. And the same thing happened. But then the crowd started a chant, LOL.
"Lighten up. Lighten up. Lighten up."
Personally not a fan of the crowd chanting aspect of the story. That type of reaction is probably not going to help the situation.0 -
I think the crowd was kind of being just as immature as they mother was, imo. They're clapping because she left and took her daughter out of the game, when I'm sure all she wanted to do was play? Yepp, so much better.
Also, going from *maybe* being slightly embarrassed because your mom is yelling at you, to having all the attention of every person in the crowd on you is probably worse. And the crowd telling her to lighten up, probably made her *****ier.0 -
I think the crowd was kind of being just as immature as they mother was, imo. They're clapping because she left and took her daughter out of the game, when I'm sure all she wanted to do was play? Yepp, so much better.
Yeah, if you want to scream from the stands, buy a ticket to a professional sporting event. It is still immature and pathetic, but at least the people on the field are getting paid big $ to put up with it.0 -
Also, going from *maybe* being slightly embarrassed because your mom is yelling at you, to having all the attention of every person in the crowd on you is probably worse. And the crowd telling her to lighten up, probably made her *****ier.
Exactly0 -
So... now it's not only OP's fault for not taking action, but it's also the crowd's fault for antagonizing the mother (who was already yelling) and embarrassing the child further? What's next, it's the coach's fault too for sending the mother off the field in a huff because he probably made her madder and more likely to potentially abuse the daughter?!
This thread is spinning out of control...0 -
QFT.Screaming at your children while they play a game is pathetic.
And never in my life have I known a young girl to "ask" to be screamed at and humiliated during a game. Never.
My dad (who was the head coach of my softball team), "fired" our assistant coach for the same thing, and regular removed parents from softball games who were screaming at their children. My dad was as competitive as they come, and he would never ever dream of berating me for not performing as well as he had hoped. He didn't shoot butterflies and rainbows around if I wasn't doing well, but he sure as hell didn't humiliate and belittle me either. Never.0 -
She's a girl anyways not like she can actually make any money as a professional. Glad they kicked the irate loony off the field.0
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It is unfortunate that she couldn't have held back her need to yell and scream. I -hope- that it was coming from a good place and she felt she was motivating her daughter. And I also hope her daughter wasn't discouraged from continuing to compete.0
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She's a girl anyways not like she can actually make any money as a professional.
I do not see how that is relevant.0
This discussion has been closed.
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