So...Pre-Nups...are bad??

2»

Replies

  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    I think Grumpy 2208 states it best. A pre-nup is definetly a must in these days. Until the courts see that woman and men are equal a pre-nup is a must. I will never get married unless she signs a pre-nup. I don't believe anyone should get another person's assets just because they were married or have to take on someone else's DEBT due to there poor money skills. I understand splitting what two people earned together while married, but buy no means should someone get half a house that I built with my bare hands or land that belongs to me. Life is not always fair, and when it comes to DIVORCE it is never fair, either way the man will always get the shaft.

    This is rather absurd. It works both ways--in today's day and age men receive alimony, shares of assets that they have no entitlement to, and the like. This isn't the 1960s.
  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    No I have been happily married for 17 years now, no pre-nup. I have just seen many many men get the shaft with no Vaseline. I have heard women tell men ****ty things about child support. I am not bitter, I am just VERY business minded and a marriage is a business in the eye of the law.

    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    Someone got burned once or twice.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    While men CAN benefit from a marriage/divorce, I think you are delusional if you think that is anything but the VAST MINORITY of the time. My ex was only with me for money. Luckily, I stuck it out until she screwed herself ever real good. When I divorced her, she got 3k in cash and a 10 year old beat up SUV. I got everything else, including my kids. That being said, I will not roll the dice again. IF I ever decide to get married again, there will be a prenup. And it will state that in the event of a divorce, the she will get NOTHING that she did not pay for out of her own income. Neither of us gets allimony, any share of the others retirement, or anything provided by the income of the other. And I will not combine income. If someone wants to be with me, it will be to be with me. Not for any financial gain.

    If that means I stay single, so be it. Better than to be tied to someone who is in love with my salary and not me. I have given up on even dating at this point, anyway. The only woman in my life is the gym.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    Most people do not believe in this " together until death" it is not believed "until things get tough".
  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
    That's a very sad thing
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    Most people do not believe in this " together until death" it is not believed "until things get tough".
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    While I believe in "together until death" it takes two that believe it. And when you find out too late that your spouse actually believes "together until I don't get to blow all of your money" it is good to be protected.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I agree with you. I married my wife until death as well. Unfortunately things get tough, but we have stuck it through.

    That's a very sad thing
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    Most people do not believe in this " together until death" it is not believed "until things get tough".
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    Speaking from experience?

    If, heaven forbid, my husband and I divorced I wouldn't want ANY of his stuff. All I want is what I came in to the marriage with. Not all women are like ^^that^^.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    nm
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    We both have assets and we both would keep those assets in the event of divorce--call me naive but I know the character of the man I'm marrying and I are no need for a pre-nup. But maybe I'm
    In the minority on that one.
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    I understand them if either party has sizeable assets before entering into the marriage, but for the average John Smith and Jane Doe, they're completely unnecessary.

    Lack of foresight here. Check out what a billable hour from a lawyer costs for negotiating a settlement vs cost of establishing and executing a prenup.
  • rachjenn
    rachjenn Posts: 87
    Totally agree with you.

    I bought my house, then my boyfriend moved in. I sorted it so he'd get half of anything made since he moved in, which I think is fair, as he contributes to the bills.

    I worked hard & saved, so I think it's my right to protect my money. I see myself spending the rest of my life with him, so it's not like I think it'll fail, but I still wanted to protect myself.

    It's not romantic in the slightest but not everything has to be :)
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    We both have assets and we both would keep those assets in the event of divorce--call me naive but I know the character of the man I'm marrying and I are no need for a pre-nup. But maybe I'm
    In the minority on that one.


    Identity is mutable. Character is also a trait that can change.

    Further, the number one reason for divorce is financial instability. Prenup can actually protect the relationship.
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
    It's a personal choice, no good/bad answer here.
  • crimsoncat
    crimsoncat Posts: 457 Member
    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    This is not always true. In my family my mother earns double what my father earns. If they divorced he would be taking a significant part of her salary not the other way around. This will also be true when I get my first job because I will be a veterinarian where starting pay is double what my fiance makes now. (And I'll need it because I'm 200k in debt from all this school.) Please don't accuse all women of being money grubbers. Some of us are on the other side of the gold digger issue.
  • MRMCCRACKEN
    MRMCCRACKEN Posts: 17
    I know that no one plans on getting a divorce - but when it happens they usually become different people - at least for a while. Bitterness and a wanting/needing to hurt the other person can enter into it. Especially if that person feels 'wronged'. Prenups can keep it fair and protect both parties from their baser instincts.
  • drojen
    drojen Posts: 203 Member
    I have a son with special needs. I have a good job with a decent salary and own my own house. I have a good pension plan through my work and all of it belongs to my child. So yes should I ever get married, I will have a prenup because I need to protect my child. He will need every thing that I have when I'm gone. If the fellow I'm with doesn't understand that, he's not worth my time.
  • theycallyoumister
    theycallyoumister Posts: 222 Member
    I understand them if either party has sizeable assets before entering into the marriage, but for the average John Smith and Jane Doe, they're completely unnecessary.
    ^This. Lea is always right.

    Yes...I agree as well :smile:
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Wondering what happens if the marriage lasts, say 25 years. If one spouse was wealthier going in, they should probably give up half (ish) at the end of a long marriage. Perhaps one person stayed home and took care of things, allowing the other to earn more. The one coming in with less should not have to give up the lifestyle of many years just to leave the marriage.
    Also, for those who are whining about men getting the shaft. I know at least one WOMAN who had to pay out most assets to her husband when the long term marriage ended. She subsequently lost her job and was left in a real bind. He had a fully paid for car and condo, she was stuck with house payments. In most states, it goes both ways.
    Pre nuptual agreements are great, but they should also protect the one with fewer assets and any children. LOTS of details on amount of time spent in the union etc.

Categories