So...Pre-Nups...are bad??

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  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
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    We both have assets and we both would keep those assets in the event of divorce--call me naive but I know the character of the man I'm marrying and I are no need for a pre-nup. But maybe I'm
    In the minority on that one.
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
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    I understand them if either party has sizeable assets before entering into the marriage, but for the average John Smith and Jane Doe, they're completely unnecessary.

    Lack of foresight here. Check out what a billable hour from a lawyer costs for negotiating a settlement vs cost of establishing and executing a prenup.
  • rachjenn
    rachjenn Posts: 87
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    Totally agree with you.

    I bought my house, then my boyfriend moved in. I sorted it so he'd get half of anything made since he moved in, which I think is fair, as he contributes to the bills.

    I worked hard & saved, so I think it's my right to protect my money. I see myself spending the rest of my life with him, so it's not like I think it'll fail, but I still wanted to protect myself.

    It's not romantic in the slightest but not everything has to be :)
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
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    We both have assets and we both would keep those assets in the event of divorce--call me naive but I know the character of the man I'm marrying and I are no need for a pre-nup. But maybe I'm
    In the minority on that one.


    Identity is mutable. Character is also a trait that can change.

    Further, the number one reason for divorce is financial instability. Prenup can actually protect the relationship.
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
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    It's a personal choice, no good/bad answer here.
  • crimsoncat
    crimsoncat Posts: 457 Member
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    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    This is not always true. In my family my mother earns double what my father earns. If they divorced he would be taking a significant part of her salary not the other way around. This will also be true when I get my first job because I will be a veterinarian where starting pay is double what my fiance makes now. (And I'll need it because I'm 200k in debt from all this school.) Please don't accuse all women of being money grubbers. Some of us are on the other side of the gold digger issue.
  • MRMCCRACKEN
    MRMCCRACKEN Posts: 17
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    I know that no one plans on getting a divorce - but when it happens they usually become different people - at least for a while. Bitterness and a wanting/needing to hurt the other person can enter into it. Especially if that person feels 'wronged'. Prenups can keep it fair and protect both parties from their baser instincts.
  • drojen
    drojen Posts: 203 Member
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    I have a son with special needs. I have a good job with a decent salary and own my own house. I have a good pension plan through my work and all of it belongs to my child. So yes should I ever get married, I will have a prenup because I need to protect my child. He will need every thing that I have when I'm gone. If the fellow I'm with doesn't understand that, he's not worth my time.
  • theycallyoumister
    theycallyoumister Posts: 222 Member
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    I understand them if either party has sizeable assets before entering into the marriage, but for the average John Smith and Jane Doe, they're completely unnecessary.
    ^This. Lea is always right.

    Yes...I agree as well :smile:
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
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    Wondering what happens if the marriage lasts, say 25 years. If one spouse was wealthier going in, they should probably give up half (ish) at the end of a long marriage. Perhaps one person stayed home and took care of things, allowing the other to earn more. The one coming in with less should not have to give up the lifestyle of many years just to leave the marriage.
    Also, for those who are whining about men getting the shaft. I know at least one WOMAN who had to pay out most assets to her husband when the long term marriage ended. She subsequently lost her job and was left in a real bind. He had a fully paid for car and condo, she was stuck with house payments. In most states, it goes both ways.
    Pre nuptual agreements are great, but they should also protect the one with fewer assets and any children. LOTS of details on amount of time spent in the union etc.

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