WTF? I've been loosing and now I'm told I'm fat.

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  • cqp1
    cqp1 Posts: 41
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    I appreciate the input. I have been trying to send out friend requests I can always use the support and I hope I can help you too but I started to get confused on who I had sent a request too. It's lunchtime and my brain has quit working. Anyone can add me if you want.
  • angelgayla
    angelgayla Posts: 56 Member
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    Those kind of comments suck! But don't let them suck the motivation out of you. Stay focused on your goal despite the negativity and you will succeed! Don't do it for your boyfriend, don't do it for your boss - do it for YOU. 15 pounds is AWESOME! You are on your way!
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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    this is resolved in a 2 step process

    step 1: break up with him
    step 2: prove him wrong

    I've proved many a YouTube troll who've said I'll never be able to lose weight and yet I've lost 13lbs so far.
  • bc119
    bc119 Posts: 34 Member
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    I lost my first 20lbs and was rewarded with my mother asking if I was 5 months pregnant. Thanks Mom, I was feeling pretty proud for like 10 whole seconds.

    This reminded me...about 5 years ago I had lost around 30 lbs and had a client at work ask me if I'd had the baby (because of my weight loss)... prior to that on other occasions I'd had at least 2-3 other clients ask me when I was "due" (I tend to carry weight in my stomach area and tunic-style shirts with empire waists were "in" at the time), lol.

    SO yeah, insults happen and not much you can do. Good luck with your progress!
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
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    15lbs is a lot! Maybe it doesn't show much but it is a lot! I have lost 25lbs and I have a long way to go so to me it isn't a lot but in retrospect it is. It's always nice to hear someone ask you if you have lost weight so it's natural to want to hear it so I feel bad for you when it goes the opposite. Keep your chin up though because you are doing what you are supposed to. And soon enough people will notice. No one has really said much to me beside my husband and my MIL. Sometimes I think they are just being nice so I don't believe them anyway, lol.
  • gurlygirlrcr80
    gurlygirlrcr80 Posts: 162 Member
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    There is always going to be people saying stupid stuff to you. A lady at work last week start out saying "hey skinny!" and then immediately goes "well skinnier" i was like...whoa WTF?! i went from Yay! to WTF! in 2 seconds...It's like she just said...i didn't mean to say you were skinny just not as fat as you were...Just don't expect much support from outside people who aren't working on losing.15 lbs is a great start and you just need to keep working on it. Use their comments as motivation when you get tired or want to eat like garbage.
  • wnbrice
    wnbrice Posts: 244 Member
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    Remember after you lose weight it takes a little bit for the skin to bounce back since it will have that deflated look. Which looks terrible and makes you look fatter.

    So during that period if the general shape stays the same it is going to look like you are heavier.

    If the scale says you are going down just recognize that it is just a sign of losing.
  • vixtris
    vixtris Posts: 688 Member
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    wow thats really gotta hurt. i personally do not like announcing that i am trying to lose weight to my family (besides my husband of course lol) because i know they wont see a difference any time soon. my mom seems to think that weight just falls off immediately, so i havent even told her that i am trying. thing is, if someone says "oh you need to lose weight" when you ARE, and then eventually when it is noticeable, they will probably think you are doing it because they said something ... which would make me a little aggravated. just try to forget about those people, you are doing it for YOURSELF not for them.
  • peggyasp
    peggyasp Posts: 15 Member
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    I always get those "helpful" comments from my family, too. People who haven't "been there" actually think all you need is for them to tell you you're fat and you will magically see the light and slim down. Do they really think we don't know we have put on weight? Ugh. Their comments are more damaging than anything else since it causes stress and, in my case, makes me too self-conscious to even want to go out. This is one of the main reasons I love living so far from my family, and why I hate going back home to visit, sadly. It isn't the reason I left, of course, but I feel a lot better when I'm not constantly hearing how awful I look.

    It will be awhile before you get compliments on your weight loss, but it will come. I find my family will jump to point out a five-pound gain, but hardly mention a twenty-pound loss.
  • Kifissia
    Kifissia Posts: 136
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    Are you tall? I am 5' 9" and it took about 25 pounds down before anyone started noticing. Give it time and keep on the path! You will get there! We all will with support and dedication. Good luck!


    No, I am short, 5'3" so extra weight does not look good at all.

    I'm 5'4" and have lost 10 on MFP and 10 on my own before MFP. No one has noticed, so I understand how you feel. I too am not telling anyone because I don't want to hear well-intentioned advice. Do you feel a difference? Do you feel better? Are your clothes feeling just a bit looser? Pants a bit longer? As long as you notice and feel it, that's all that matters. I am getting support with once a month calls with a wellness coach and I have found a person I can depend on and we check in with each other once a week for about 30 minutes. Keep it up!!!!!
  • mchammer73
    mchammer73 Posts: 5 Member
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    Hey cqp1 - everybody has those "friends" or family members who don't have the sense to keep their comments to themselves. My former Mother in Law was one of those, who would turn a compliment into an insult ("Have you lost some weight? You look soooooooooooo much better (read: less disgusting), but maybe you got some new pants that fit you better...."). I have another acquaintence who, every time she notices that I've slimmed, will tell me her secret to lose 10 MORE pounds overnight, not realizing it's taken me 2 months to get that far!!!

    I did weight watchers before, and I thought they gave a helpful tip - shoot for losing 10% of your starting body weight. That was the point when I really noticed a difference - clothes were getting baggy, my face thinned out, and I felt different in my skin. I'm still short of my 10% - 5 lbs to go - but it's good to have a smaller goal to work toward.

    Keep up your good work! You'll get there :-)
  • bumblebums
    bumblebums Posts: 2,181 Member
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    You know you've been making progress, and they will see it soon enough. I've heard it said that people start noticing around 20 lb, so there's hope that they will have to eat their words :)

    On a more serious note, you aren't doing it for them, so I'd just ignore them and focus on your own goals. Also, unless you are a model or a TV anchor or similar, it isn't appropriate for your boss to comment on your appearance, regardless of what he has to say about it.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Remember after you lose weight it takes a little bit for the skin to bounce back since it will have that deflated look. Which looks terrible and makes you look fatter.

    So during that period if the general shape stays the same it is going to look like you are heavier.

    If the scale says you are going down just recognize that it is just a sign of losing.

    I noticed when I was comparing my nakey progress photos that I actually looked a little better at my starting weight than I do now - it's the deflation effect. :/ But I know it's just part of the process - I have to make stops in Droopville and Lumpytown before I get to my desired destination. Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.
  • Garthamatic
    Garthamatic Posts: 84 Member
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    I feel for you.

    I went in for my yearly physical, psyched up. I'd dropped 26 lbs, was starting the C25K program, and just dropped two pants sizes.

    My doctor said good job, now lose the other 10. Almost verbatim those words. Some stellar bedside manner going on there.

    I brushed it off, but my wife wanted to drive back to the Dr.'s office and take her head off when I told her about it.... :indifferent:
  • Sarahland
    Sarahland Posts: 65 Member
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    What's with all the D bag boyfriends?! If my husband told me I was getting fat, I'd punch him straight in the mouth. Please don't let your boyfriend disrespect you like that. Even if he is "just joking"...
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    It is very hard to have to hear comments like this, especially when you have been losing weight. Try not to let these comments get to you. You are doing great!

    When I began here I did not tell anyone, not even my husband or daughter. I just kept plugging along, consistantly losing weight. I had a lot to lose, but by the time I had lost 40 pounds, everyone began to notice.

    Try to focus on the small goals. Before long, you will be rewarded by all the positive comments which will help motivate you and keep you on track. There are a lot of people here that you can get support from and understand what you are trying to accomplish.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    I started MFP in January and no I did not tell friends/family. I know myself and I will do better without stressing over whether they see me fail or not. I have lost 15 lbs since starting MFP. Not a lot considering I was 255 starting but still weight loss. I'm trying to stay positive and realize it has to be slow to stay off.

    Last week my boyfriend told me I was getting fat and needed to loose weight (joking statement but still) and my boss made a comment about needing to slim down before I reach 40 and have to start taking all kinds of meds. (cholesterol, etc.). I can't help but think WTF. Here I am trying and given it's not showing yet but its not like I'm gaining either and I have been about 255 for at least the last 4 or 5 years.

    Anyone else getting insulted instead of complimented?

    Your boyfriend is an *kitten*.
  • konerusp
    konerusp Posts: 247 Member
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    People are ignorant. lol Samething happened to me. Down 12 pounds and someone asked me if I was expecting. NIIIICCCE! :P Whatever, just laugh and keep on moving! :)
    This happened to me.Got that twice the same week.
  • MeganGable
    MeganGable Posts: 68 Member
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    Ugh, girl, you do what you need to do.....other people just don't see the whole picture. I've been mistakenly asked when my baby was due three times in the past 6 years. Each time hurt immensley....I'm only about 35 lbs at the most overweight....it's stupid, people are ignorant and shouldn't comment on anything they don't know about or maybe approach it different. Instead of offering unsought for advice, they should just ask you what you have been up to lately :)
  • AmandaLipphardt
    AmandaLipphardt Posts: 80 Member
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    Keep hanging in there. It takes a little bit but you'll have your moment of triumph. I've been going to the same doc for a few years now and she always gives me the same 'you need to loose weight speech'. This time around she walked in without even looking at me, started in on her speech, looked an my chart, then at me, and promptly turned red. She tried to play it off as moving towards inspirational but we both know I caught her recycling the same crap without doing her job first and her reaction was pricelss. You'll get there and trust me, the in your face is totally worth it.

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