Help me pick my next wife...

AZ_Gato
AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
in Chit-Chat
Bosom and hip size don't matter as I plan on impregnating her as soon as the ink is dry on the marriage license. Soon after giving birth I plan on putting her on a raspberry ketone diet and already have a doctor for the breast augmentation.

She must have a good personality and love outdoor activities. Please keep the friend requests to a minimum as my time will be consumed by interviewing these ladies.

As long as she has good birthing hips, then age isn't a factor.

I'm a visual creature, please post pictures.
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Replies

  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    bored, ricardo? ;)
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    bored, ricardo? ;)

    Are you applying?
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    <---Birthing hips. Does this position come with full benefits and health insurance?
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Too bad you're cauterized.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.

    I have a dishwasher silly.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    <---Birthing hips. Does this position come with full benefits and health insurance?

    To include dental and vision! Yes...a full set of your own teeth is a prerequisite.
  • Sweet_Kimmie
    Sweet_Kimmie Posts: 155
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.

    Lol! She's on the money!
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    <---Birthing hips. Does this position come with full benefits and health insurance?

    To include dental and vision! Yes...a full set of your own teeth is a prerequisite.

    I heard from a guy that knows a guy that knows my brothers BFF that a full set of teeth can get in the way and gums are TOTALLY the way to go....

    jus sayin
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    As long as she has good birthing hips, then age isn't a factor.

    tumblr_mkeip5QjYS1rt1ok0o1_500.gif
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    <---Birthing hips. Does this position come with full benefits and health insurance?

    To include dental and vision! Yes...a full set of your own teeth is a prerequisite.

    I heard from a guy that knows a guy that knows my brothers BFF that a full set of teeth can get in the way and gums are TOTALLY the way to go....

    jus sayin

    Experience tells me that no teeth = very poor kegel musculature.
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.
    This is a great peice of advice. Even with a dishwasher, she does not need all that time to lay around giving birth, slacking off on the other house work.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    tumblr_m8vmgwcZXF1r1rjkgo1_500.gif
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    I birthed a 9.5lb baby in one push...
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I birthed a 9.5lb baby in one push...

    But do you like the outdoors?
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    Yes, but not to birth the babies.
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    Yes, but not to birth the babies.

    Maybe to make them.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    I birthed a 9.5lb baby in one push...
    Good push!
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    YES
  • LifeJacketWaterJogger
    LifeJacketWaterJogger Posts: 231 Member
    You should just get a robot, that would work better with no worries.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    tumblr_ltvvfjiYw71qdbxx9.gif
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    .
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    You're a strong candidate...do you squat and do dead lifts?
  • The_New_Christina
    The_New_Christina Posts: 818 Member
    I only have the hips and personality. Guess I'm out of the running.

    6fctw3.jpg <----SAD FACE
  • 5erious
    5erious Posts: 469
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    any challengers?
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    You're a strong candidate...do you squat and do dead lifts?
    lol I can.. but have not been lately... just starting to go back to gym :cry:
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    You're a strong candidate...do you squat and do dead lifts?
    lol I can.. but have not been lately... just starting to go back to gym :cry:

    Okay as long as you still have the muscle memory...I prefer that you birth while standing and squatting. No time to lay on your *kitten*.
  • horses1jessi
    horses1jessi Posts: 49 Member
    To funny :laugh:
  • mleech77
    mleech77 Posts: 557 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:
    How are your sammich making skills?
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