Eloping, incredibly romantic or incredibly selfish?

Go girl! We were engaged for 1 year and that whole year I was stressed trying to figure out what we wanted in a wedding and how we were going to afford it. My fiance and I couldn't agree on anything. I didn't want to start our marriage in debt. Also, I had never cared about a wedding per se, I just wanted to be married to the man I loved and a wedding was like a huge mountain in the way . Finally I said i wanted to elope but as we thought about it, realized my and his parents might want to come. We ended up picking a church and telling our close family and friends that we'd be getting married in 3 weeks there and would love them to come if they could make it. We hosted a dinner for just them (20 people) afterwards. Also, his parents helped us tremendously with the cost. Family does want to see you married, but it's expensive for them too (travel, gifts, clothes, time off work). So sometimes they might be happy if you elope as well. It might depend. Good luck! (we've been married 6 years)

I enjoyed reading the comments on this by young people. It is encouraging to see that young people still elope. It is nice to see that not everyone is having extravagant weddings and destination weddings.

I do not think it is selfish at all. What an incredibly romantic way to begin your lives together. Beautiful!

It really depends on the type of relationship you have with your family, and I mean mom and dad. My wife would have been devastated. It won't hurt to talk to them about it, because it is one of those things that can never be un-done.

Do what makes you happy.

Im not going to comment on your age because its up to you. At that age i was in NO way ready for marriage but my friends were and still going strong most of them.

If it were me i would elope and that is non negotiable .... I have my reasons

You only have 3 or 4 weddings in life, you might as well make the most of the ceremonies.
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Ahahahaha! Especially if you live in California!

A wedding is one day in your life....the marriage is the most important thing. It sounds like you and your fiance are taking this seriously; more people put more thought into planning a huge ceremony and being Princess for a day than about the nature of the commitment they are making. This is why the divorce rate is as high as it is.

We eloped and the only regret I have was to have not had a few friends there. Don't ask about family, in our case they were a major driving force behind the decision.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to confirm your reasons, take counsel from someone who knows you both and whose advice you respect and then make a decision.

I don't think it's incredibly romantic or incredibly selfish.

Incredibly practical.

The idea of planning a wedding makes my head hurt.

YES! Unless my husband to be wants to plan it all...

Eh, do whatever the two of you want. But just be prepared for the inevitable backlash-- my boyfriend's brother and his wife eloped, and didn't tell anyone. His mother found out when the photos were posted on Facebook, and she was noooot very happy about that!

However, the two of you are adults capable of making your own decisions, and if you don't want to spend money on an extravagant wedding that society deems "normal" you certainly don't have to! My own wedding (if I ever have one) will be very low-key, so I can sympathize with wanting to elope. Just know that you most likely WILL offend people, even though it is not their right to tell you how to get married. It's just something that'll happen.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Weddings are incredibly expensive, and your guests enjoy it much more than you do. If you think about it, you are really spending all that money so other people can have a good time. Elope. Go someplace fun and maybe take a little honeymoon. Then have a nice barbecue this summer and invite all your friends and family. It will be much more enjoyable and way less stress free.

ETA: This is your day, your choice. Do what feels best for you!

That's exactly what we wanted, a fun party for our friends and to get married. We enjoyed it just as much as everyone else. It was pretty stress free.

Weddings are only as expensive as we want them to be. A wedding can be a JP and the couple or with some guests and a cake and punch reception after for the guests or it can be a black tie affair with a 5 course meal, open bar with top shelf liquor and a designer gown and anywhere in between.

I don't think eloping is necessarily either. I think it can be romantic, I don't think it is selfish. It comes down to what the couple wants. If their family opinions matter to them, then they should account for that, but they certainly don't "have" to do anything because of the family.

Economically, eloping is a smart move.

But speaking as a mom, do NOT take that dream away from your mommy!

LOL. My sister eloped (we knew). My mom would have been devastated if we didn't have a wedding, but she didn't force it on me.

Eloping is just good business. Weddings are too expensive. It's better to save the cash and go on a trip.

I agree with this^^^.

I turned 20 on my honeymoon. I knew in my guts we were going to get married eventually anyway so thought why not do it now? We've been together over 31 yrs and married 25. Age has zero to do with it lasting forever or not IMO.

My husband and I "quasi-eloped" and 11 years later I don't regret it at all. In the midst of trying to plan a small ceremony that my mom kept hijacking into something that didn't suit me - but that she also was not willing to chip in for - my husband and I decided that we were going to just do the justice of the peace thing. A buddy of his was a minister in a small church with an older congregation about 90 minutes away and offered to perform the service after his regular Sunday service if he could get the okay from his congregation to marry us. It was the first wedding in like 15 years that would have been performed there so the congregation was on board. We set the date and verbally told friends and immediate family that we were planning to elope and would be getting married at X time on X date - they were welcome to come but not to feel obligated to. Amazingly, my immediate family, minus my brother who was out of the country,and most of my husband's family showed up along with a few friends willing to make the drive.

We attended church and were waiting for the closing when the minister announced that a brief break would occur to allow the bride and groom to take their places. The entire congregation had decided to stay and witness our wedding. In addition, the choir and choir master surpised us by providing music as their wedding present to us. It was heartfelt and so beautiful that this small group of strangers were willing to participate. Afterwards we went to a local restuarant where my mom had arranged for lunch - including a wedding cake!

I wore a white dress suitable for church, but a friend did insist that I wear her wedding veil. My flowers were cut flowers from the supermarket. Pictures were courtsey of family & friend's cameras or camcorders. It was romantic, unique, inexpensive, and no one felt left out.

Best wishes for whatever you decide to do.

We did not elope, but had a destination wedding on the beach in Hawaii. We sent announcements but did not "invite" anyone except our parents, my Godmother and my husband's best friend of 30 years. We weren't interested in anyone else being there....Do what makes you happy; however, make sure you spend more time planning the marriage, than the wedding. Can't go wrong! Good luck and congratulations.