Overweight kids- Who's to blame
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Oh and I blame the parents completely. I buy the food and I cook it for my kids... Good food e.g veg IS cheeper than fast processed foods. Its lazy not to cook and teach the skills to your children.
For the record, I work full time and have two kids so the "don't have the time to cook" parents don't wash with me.
Rant over :laugh:0 -
Parents. Rare medical conditions aside, Parents. Like breaking the cycle of poverty, when those children grow up they are like many of us that are on MFP, breaking the cycle of poor eating and activity levels that impede our healthy and we are here to break that cycle in our own life.0
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parents are to blame. The little kid doesn't buy the food, the little kid doesn't cook it, and most of the time doesn't choose it.
I was watching the show "super nanny", one of the women complained her obese diabetic son was sneaking junk food from the cupboards and eating sweets(candy), crisps(chips), cookies, chocolates etc. and she had no idea what to do to stop him eating it.
sorry but if your son is obese and diabetic, ****ING STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD FOR HIM. are parents really this stupid these days they have to get a proffesional TV nanny to help them? just save your money and stop buying it.
The parents blame the corporations and TV and society.
Heres the problems. Nobody wants to own up. Nobody says "man, I messed up. Let me try to get the best out of this messed up situation and work towards a solution". Nope. That would require work and a dent in your inflated ego. So instead, we have parents blaming everybody, INCLUDING their kids for bad habits. YOU brought this to them... the least you could do is try and repair the damage0 -
I'd say most of it is on parents, some of it is on the schools requirements.
I have two kids, one overweight, one not, and am a teacher.
What my kids do when they are at home, what they eat at home that is all on me... they both do exercises every day at home, and I'm working on making us an exercise room where we can do some more fun activities like Zumba. I do the majority of our cooking (we MIGHT eat out once a month, and often it's pizza that we pick up and bring home) that incorporates lean meats, beans, and veggies (lots of frozen veggies because where I live fresh are expensive or hard to find that are nice looking) We do have popcorn on hand, and fresh and canned fruit for snacks (which we don't eat often). We don't sit and log hours in front of the tv... a 20 minute episode of pokemon (with no commercials) a day, sometimes a 45 minute show... and they are in bed between 8:30 and 9:00 most days. (10 on weekends and summers) We talk about nutrition, they help me cook dinners. These things are all on ME and my husband.
BUT when they spend 6 hours a day at school, and are confined to a desk for the MAJORITY of that time (15 minute recess a day is NOT enough for middle school) that comes down on the school. I've suggested a couple times we lengthen our day just for the sake of giving them a recess every day. Not every kid will take advantage of that time, but watching the kids at the recess they DO have MOST of them are up running around playing, or even walking around the track. They LIKE to be active, they just aren't given the outlet.
People who claim they don't have time to cook... You have time to do whatever you choose. I know there are days I really don't have time to cook, so on days where I do I cook extra, and freeze it. Tonight we're having sloppy joes, (made with lean ground beef, packed with extra veggies) because I knew I wouldn't have time to cook... I made a large batch on a Monday night a couple weeks ago and let it simmer in the crock pot over night. I now have a night every week that involves just pushing some buttons on the microwave to reheat it. I made a coleslaw with a light home made dressing two nights ago to go with dinner, and made a huge batch so we could have some to go with the sloppy joes... It's all about choices.... Sorry soap box.. I almost tripped over it.0 -
As a teenager i hit a size 16. My problem was that i had no knowldege of nutrition. I would get home from school and happily sit infront of the tv and eat a couple of chocolate bars and a packet of crisps waiting for my parents to come home. My parents ensured i had three, home cooked meals a day, (notice i said home cooked, not healthy; it may have been healthy, but our portion sizes were huge). Even when i hit size 16 and decided i wanted to lose weight, i'd go to the gym and then eat a chocolate bar on my way home and couldn't understand why i wasn't losing weight. I wouldn't say it was my parents fault, but they didn't teach me the value of nutrition, healthy eating, the impact of calories and fat on a diet, etc. School didn't teach me either.
It's not just up to parents to feed their kids healthy food, but also to TEACH them the value of a healthy diet, in my opinion.0 -
Both
Parents and kids?0 -
I think it's a little of everyone including teachers, parents, and myself.
I was skinny until my teacher in elementary school had a snack break every day. After a year of daily snack breaks, I gained a little weight. It didn't stop there. At home, my mom cooks very delicious homemade meals filled with unhealthy ingredients. I gained more weight. I was overweight in middle school. In high school, I learned that I could control my food, so I would eat many sweets and enjoy it. I gained more weight and became obese. In college, I didn't know how to eat healthy and always made bad choices. I gained 40 lbs more in college. I was at 221 lbs and lost all confidence in myself.
Now I am out of college, age 22, and realizing what happened. So, I have been making changes and losing weight. Right now, I'm at 173 lbs and working on losing more. I am living on my own and not having the influence of school snack breaks, my mom's delicious food, and college cafeteria food.0 -
It's KINDA the parents fault. Sort of - I can see how it's easy to blame the parents and why people are quick to blame them.
However, we live in a society where food is shoved at us at every opportunity, kids can't watch tv or even take a walk without being bombarded with images of food.
Then the parents (and everyone else) are given the not subtle message that buying and giving equals love.
So the kids demand it and some parents give in to it.
Pester power and guilt - the fattest combo available.0 -
Oh and I blame the parents completely. I buy the food and I cook it for my kids... Good food e.g veg IS cheeper than fast processed foods. Its lazy not to cook and teach the skills to your children.
For the record, I work full time and have two kids so the "don't have the time to cook" parents don't wash with me.
Rant over :laugh:
Oh I agree with this. Many people in the FB debate were saying it was to expensive to eat healthy.
Healthy foods are not expensive. Some 'Health' foods are expensive. Seasonal veggies, beans, eggs, rice, cheaper cuts of chicken and beef, tuna, milk are not. If broccoli isn't on sale one week, buy spinach. It isn't hard.
Not to mention these are almost always the same people who find room in their budget for chips and coke0 -
All I can say is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_ElXYzFX_w 0 -
Sounds to me like you're a pretty great dad dealing with an autistic son. Well done to you for giving your son the guidance and key skill for life.
My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.
So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.
I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.
We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.
I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.
The photo is misleading. Lol, I'm the mom.
Jan0 -
I am teaching my child (who is 4.5 years right now) about healthy foods making us strong and how important it is that we eat well. She knows that food gives us energy and we have to eat good foods to have good energy. She knows that sweets are a treat every now and then but not the norm. I teach her that that exercise is very important for our muscles, bones and heart. She already says on her own "all you have to do is try it and maybe you'll like it". She will try everything at least once. Sometimes she spits it out, sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes even after spitting it out, she'll try it again.
I never make her eat her entire plate full and I don't praise her when she does clear her plate (I'm not robotic about it or anything I just don't make a big fuss). I don't want her to associate eating everything and clearing her plate with being such a positive thing. When she tells me she is full, then we let her stop eating, within reason. If it's after two bites, of course not, but if it's after she's had a few bites of everything, then maybe she really just isn't hungry anymore. We have healthy snacks in the house for when she is hungry later.
The most important thing though, is that I am teaching her by example. She knows what I go to swim laps in the morning, it's because I am trying to be healthy. I don't talk about weight or numbers with her, it's all about overall health. I grew up in a family of yo-yo crash dieters and I am really making a conscious effort to teach her well so she doesn't have any of the issues I have had with weight.
So yes, it is the parent's job to teach these things and fault if their child is obese, of course with the exception of medical conditions.0 -
Heredity and/or environment: what's a 5 year old to do?0
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I agree that in the absence of a medical condition, the parents/whoever has brought the child up is to blame. The habits of caregivers is observed and mimicked by their children - not just with food but with activity as well. My parents eat anything and everything, but in moderation and this is what they passed onto my 3 siblings and myself. My parents were and still are quite active, and encouraged us to do the same growing up. All of us are now in our 20s and while we've all had a little bit of weight to lose as we got full time jobs and became more sedentary, the habits we copied from our parents have stopped all four of us being morbidly obese.
To the person who posted here about her 13 year old autistic son: Good on you for recognising what can be changed and doing it. By seeing him making those good choices on his own, you have become an excellent role model to him and should be proud of yourself. If only more parents would follow your example.
I'd like to see a response here from someone who doesn't agree with this...just curious is all.0 -
You win. :flowerforyou:My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.
So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.
I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.
We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.
I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.
It is primarily the responsibility of the parents to instill both good eating habits and exercise habits in kids. This includes giving them good information on how to handle snacking and food choices when the kids are at school. There comes a point - for most it's somewhere in teenager-land - where the responsibility shifts from the parents to the kids because they now have the ability to disregard parental food and exercise influences and get their own food as they wish, but prior to that? It's up to the parents.
Sure, there are outliers that aren't based on medical conditions (boarding school, for one), but such statistical blips shouldn't cloud the discussion.0 -
Ha, well pretty good mum instead then. I have an autistic relative and if he'd have boiled egg and toast he would eat the shell and simply not understand. It was sad to see when he got bigger and bigger but it was his mother who would feed him to keep him happy. In the UK (going back 15 years) there wasn't much guidance for her.Sounds to me like you're a pretty great dad dealing with an autistic son. Well done to you for giving your son the guidance and key skill for life.My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.
So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.
I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.
We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.
I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.
The photo is misleading. Lol, I'm the mom.
Jan0 -
I have mixed feelings on this:
A friend of the family has a child younger than my own child's age...posts pictures constantly of this child eating!! Never out side running / playing etc. The food they choose is extremely cheap..and not grocery store cheap. Always McDonalds - chinese buffet - $5 pizza etc. This child is HUGE!!! And he wears a size twice my kid's size...parents fault? Absolutely!!!
Myself - I have 3 children. All have been raised the same way. My oldest - struggles with weight now only if she goes on binges however the foundation has been laid out and she knows how to lose it in a healthy manner. She is active and knows what to eat. My twins - DNA says they are identical..I call BS.
One is petite the other since birth has been solid. I struggle with her weight - she is active eats the same things her sister does yet is 20 pounds heavier ?!?! Parents fault? - I don't think so!
Mind you this child's favorite food is a tomato ?!? She doesn't drink a lot of milk (affects her emotions) - her juice is and has been watered down since she was 3. She drinks water more during the summer - but other months I would say maybe 4 8 ounce servings. she does like it and chooses it over juice sometimes..but then again she is a child I do not want to inflict a bad relationship with water by removing juice and making her drink water all day. I can not give her sugar free anything (high sensitivity to it) for low cal options. She eats balanced meals and since I started losing weight there have been no starchy carbs at dinner time except potatoes once a week. Leans meats & vegetables for all. She has pizza once a week (she is a kid you know! LOL) yet her weight has not budged. We hardly ever go to McDonalds (I personally think it is gross!) unless traveling and they need something. But then again - her sister eats it too? They still have their Easter & Valentine candy...V - day I threw away their Christmas candy and Christmas their Halloween so they are not sugar loaded children either.
So I am really mixed - some yes - some no. Genetics sadly play a huge role sometimes. (FYI - my husband is 6'1 built like a house...he is over weight however when he did not have his gut..he was still huge and people thought he worked out several times a day!)
My child is not extremely obese - however it does cause me concern and at some point her doctors. I have expressed my concern - and all they say is more water and try maybe more activity. With homework & my job how the heck am I supposed to ensure she gets more activity when they only have gym ONCE (yes once) per week?!?! She also only gets one recess (the school systems have gone down hill!!) We bought them their own Wii then Xbox kinect to help (kids - video games..activity = bonus!) - they use it all the time.
There are no diets for 8 yr olds - so even if I wanted to i would not know where to begin other than what I am already doing
Aside from expressing my thoughts on the subject - if anyone has any advice....I am open! 0 -
partly parents and partly schools/government!
Nope. Theres no partly. Its fully parents. If your school doesn't provide healthy foods and keeps pushing high calories junk foods then talk to them. Many communities are now doing it and for almost the same cost. The fact that NO parent screamed at the schools when they passed out pizza as a serving of veggies shows that parents are the one neglecting.
Ultimately it's the parent's responsibility, but when it comes to schools, it's not just the food, it's the lack of proper physical education. They have cut PE down from daily to only 2 days/week in my area. Kids aren't allowed to get up and release their energy except on those 2 days. My son is ADHD and actually was punished by taking him out of PE for being too active in class. He also has a huge appetite/metabolism bc of his ADHD and I asked if he could bring extra snacks or eat school lunch plus some healthy snacks that I send. They said no. (they only had 15 minutes to eat anyways) He can either eat school lunch (which was free for him since I'm a single parent) OR pack a lunch, but he couldn't do both. WHAT?! This, among many other reasons, is why my son is now homeschooled. He gets 45 minutes- an hour of physical activity during the school day and 10 minute breaks between subjects. He's also allowed to excel where needed and express his creativity. My mom works with him while I'm at my job. He knows how important it is to eat healthy and exercise because I taught him, but his school certainly did not encourage any of this.0 -
My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.
So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.
I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.
We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.
I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.
I just had to say that you are an example of a great parent!! You have made mistakes and you admit them and are rectifying them! Well done you!!! Keep up the good work and you will win the battle with the medicine as well!! You should be very proud to see the changes in your son!! 0 -
I am overweight because my mum equated love with cooking, she showed her love through making nice stuff and I was always taught to clear my plate.
this is my family. They LOVE you with food!
I read a post on here not too long ago and a woman was asking "should I throw away this birthday cake, I feel so bad about it" or something along those lines and there was a brilliant, brilliant response by one MFP'er and I don't know who it was but they gave the analogy "They gave you the gift of cake as a sign of friendship, love and thoughfulness. You have received that gift and enjoyed it. The message was clear. What is left is an empty envelope. Throw away the envelope (cake)." That has helped me SO MUCH in making food decisions and I will never, ever forget it. If you're the MFP'er who said that, THANK YOU!0
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