Overweight kids- Who's to blame

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  • kerricus
    kerricus Posts: 165 Member
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    I'm just going to weigh in with my story.

    I was raised by a health-nut mother. We always ate good quality food. Not a lot of meat, lots of veggies and fruits. I distinctly remember begging my mother to buy Shredded Wheat for me. We worked outside in the yard a lot, push-mowing the lawn, taking care of the vegetable garden, etc. We used to go on family cycling trips, riding 25 miles at a time.

    And yet I have been overweight since I was in 4th grade. Not obese, just overweight enough to be ashamed.

    --You can eat healthy food and exercise and STILL be fat.---

    I think the problem stems from the fact that my mother is overweight and hates exercise. Her knees are genetically bad and need to be replaced. Cancer also did a number on her body in her 20s. She did her best! She really did. But she couldn't teach us the habits that she herself did not have. I also think that she was terrified of teaching us portion control because she thought we would feel deprived, or ashamed of eating, and end up with an eating disorder.

    You've got to realize that, yes, parents are to blame, but for the most part they are doing their best with what they have.
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
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    I have hypothyroid disorder from my father- his side all have it. Its medicated highly and monitored 6 monthly. My dad is not fat, nor am I... because we eat well, drink well and live well. I want to loose weight to be a UK10 again (I'm a 12). Even with thyroid disorders I see no excuse, its just bloody hard work :wink:
    You know the heredity thing is nonsense right?? As for environment I guess you mean where they live, the kitchen which the parents fill maybe?? So... The parents fault??
    Heredity and/or environment: what's a 5 year old to do?
    Heredity as nonsense is only true in the absence of an inherited medical condition. Thyroid problems are present on both sides of my family tree, though they went undiagnosed for years in both my parents.
    In my family's specific case, it's hypoactive on my father's side, hyperactive on my mother's. My father's wasn't diagnosed until he was in his late 30's because he had always been active. So, food was provided that accounted for hyperactive thyroid, which was fine when we were really young and growing like weeds. Once the activity level and the growth spurts stopped. . . .
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
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    The parents, definitely. Children need to be TAUGHT to eat healthy and keep active. If they are always being given bad food on a regular basis, they aren't going to realise that its bad for them.
  • ac_boubou
    ac_boubou Posts: 28 Member
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    I agree with most of posters here. I think it's parent's fault. Sure there is some exception but....

    Since i'm a mother of two (9 and 7 years old) I make a point to learn them what's healty. My son cook with me since he is 2 years old, both of them work out with me and they enjoy it. I have a weight problem, but my childrens don't.
    We do eat Junk sometimes like once by 2 or 3 months because it's part of life. No drama here.

    My childrens really enjoy eating sushi, fish, octopus, mussels, veggies, beans.
    I think all parents have to introduce all kind of healty food when their childrens are young. Now i'm really proud to say that my chlidrens love everything, they love trying different food from every part of the world. It's a gift we gave them.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Parents. Even if one parent (ME: eats/cooks healthy most of the time), if the other parent has a sweet tooth and buys a lot of junk (for himself), which eating lifestyle do you think that kid is going to choose?

    I've tried so hard to get my 10yr old to eat healthy. But she takes after her dad. She hates veggies, fruits and is picky as hell. My husband works out and can eat this crap and get away with it, but my daughter is eating his crap and just getting fat. He doesn't understand we shouldn't buy the **** period. SMH. It has to be a parent team effort or it's not enough.

    Also, blame the schools for eliminating the daily gym classes and handing out garbage lunches/bkfsts. My daughter takes her lunch to school everyday, but it's not the healthiest either (still better than the garbage schools dish out).
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Who do you blame if your child is FAT?....... The mother and the fa-ather....oompa loompa doopity do .....

    I have been thinking this the whole time reading through!!!


    Genetics does play a part... and age and growth rates do to. I work very hard to stop my kids from following the path I did but to NOT have them obsess over diets or things like that. Even with the hard work my very active 9 year old is getting a big belly... It has happened before and then he shot up a couple inches and it flattened back out... Baseball is just not as active as Wrestling was this winter or as football will be starting August 1st.


    OH... and I know it could be worse. My cousin basically feeds her kids nothing but Chicken nuggets and hotdogs for meals and chips and sodas inbetween and her two are HUGE
  • SoulEater7
    SoulEater7 Posts: 31
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    If there is no medical reason for being over weight then I believe it's up to the parents to make sure their children eat healthy and stay healthy, I admit that schools, TV & the power of advertising in general are such a battle to win but we all as parents should teach our children what's good and what's "bad". What to eat in moderation and what you can have plenty of.

    I have two children, both whom are in a healthy weight for their age and height, now like all children then have lots of treats ha-ha, mainly from their grandparents but I make them see how important exercise & food is.
  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
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    for all intents and purposes i grew up at private school without parents as did 270 other lads...

    i can only count 6 kids who were fat and they were the ones who were excused sport for medical reasons be it asma or whatever..

    got to be parents ...?
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    My child is not extremely obese - however it does cause me concern and at some point her doctors. I have expressed my concern - and all they say is more water and try maybe more activity. With homework & my job how the heck am I supposed to ensure she gets more activity when they only have gym ONCE (yes once) per week?!?! She also only gets one recess (the school systems have gone down hill!!) We bought them their own Wii then Xbox kinect to help (kids - video games..activity = bonus!) - they use it all the time.

    There are no diets for 8 yr olds - so even if I wanted to i would not know where to begin other than what I am already doing :(


    Aside from expressing my thoughts on the subject - if anyone has any advice....I am open! :)

    I would talk to the school nurse and suggest that your child needs an hour of active play (biking, walking, skating) a day, and that the homework needs to be streamlined.

    But even if that doesn't work, make the time. Do the activity with your kid. Make it fun. And start slow and work up. plus the summer is coming. I plan a screen-free summer for my kids.

    The school system in my area is too focuses on reading - one hand that's great but they go as far as taking a recess away to have a child read (I flipped out on this one!) - unfortunatly our schools do not focus on activity any more but the curriculum. I understand the importance but it is not like there were no doctors & scientists coming out decades ago when they were not so high strung on it!

    My husband and I have looked into karate - dance - gymnastics - unfortunatley their age group runs while we are both working :/ My parents live 2 hours away and I would have no way of getting them there.

    After school activities for their age - no transportation...

    The major problem - is my job (I tell my husband jokingly see if I did not have to work I could do all this with them and become that hot soccer mom you always dreamed of LMAO)

    When they get into middle school - activities will be easier to obtain since most of them do offer transportation when needed. Right now - you have to be a non working parent to get them into anything.

    The weekends - we go bike riding - we walk / they jog / dance the track My oldest is going to start taking them roller skating every other week (she doesn't drive yet so her help is limited too). Summer - they LOVE swimming and do that daily weather permitting. Days I work - I feel useless!!

    This - is where the school system is so different from when I was a child. They had a nice balance of curriculum and activities. Now it is all reading!

    In many places states are threatening to pull school funding if reading scores don't come up. Teachers are threatened with not having their contracts renewed if their classes don't score high enough. Schools can't do everything, and right now that's what is expected of them. They're supposed to get kids ready for college (which is a major thing in and of itself), teach them social skills and basic manners, make sure they get enough exercise, give them access to art/music education, discipline them, and the list goes on and on. In the perfect world there'd be time for everything, but there just isn't. Best thing you can do is get involved with your school and help the teachers find solutions. Most teachers will work with you if you take time to talk to them often.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
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    My 13-year old is slightly chubby round the middle - he was a very cuddly baby, then got really thin, and now is a bit chubby. His borther went through the same phases and now, aged 19, is extremely fit and slim. Both boys are big boned (genuinely) - eldest is over 6' and younger will certainly exceed him heightwise.

    I have always cooked healthy food at home - OK sometimes potion sizes crept up :wink: or I wouldn't be here - but we've never been a big fast food/take away family.

    So there is a genetic side to the argument - my husband was also a very chubby teenager despite being always out on his bike or playing sports. Sometimes teens need to grow "out" to grow "up". But without a medical condition there is no reason for obesity.
  • pollyineedtobeskinny
    pollyineedtobeskinny Posts: 362
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    AGREE

    It is their parents fault until a certain age. Unless obviously, they have a medical problem.

    I couldn't dream of feeding my children bad foods all the time... You need healthy normal weight children :smile: too many obese children to be seen nowadays especially with over weight parents. They should get their child to go in a different direction not follow in their foot steps
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Of course it's the parents' fault. Small children have no money, they can't cook for themselves, etc. Parents control what the kids eat, when they eat, etc.

    I always wonder when I see fat toddlers and children how on earth is that possible. My daughter ate like a bird when she was small (still does actually) but my sons ate like termites and I could not keep weight on them. Guess it's because they are very active people, but what little kid isn't active?? How do you have a small child who overeats and sits like a slug all day, how does that happen?
  • knitwit0704
    knitwit0704 Posts: 376
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    I sort of agree, but sort of not. It's my mom's fault? Sure, she does bring junk into the house, but I really don't know.

    But in the house, I am the one who cooks, so it may be a 50-50.
  • sarantonio
    sarantonio Posts: 880 Member
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    OK.. Im reading all this crap, and I'm wondering

    WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO PLAYING OUTSIDE?!?!?


    The Wii and Kinect for exercise? We have a very simple rule at our house, keeps the chitlins healthy..."GO PLAY"

    They come home, do homework, get a snack, go OUTSIDE, and stay there until dark, chasing critters, climbing trees, digging holes, riding bikes, playing tag, helping garden, these are wholesome activities to keep your child fit... live in the city? You don't have a community garden, park, ally, nothing?! Hmmm, I don't buy it...
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    What if the parents are divorced and one tries to educate and gently give advice but they choose the easy way that the other parent allows and promotes?

    Here is my take...we as a people are resposinble but in a world where people walked to church, the local store and had smaller stores and services to the Wal-Mart, target and other large stores where you get more for your money, which is shrikning, and you now have a lot of 2 parents working in the house to make end meet it requires that you eat out more today than you did when I was growing up. Also, people do not buy whole chickens and butcher, we buy more and more processed food due to time constraints in the house. This is a society problem and part of it stems from the home but the home is being pressed by ills of making ends meet.

    In my case, my ex-gf had 2 boys that played baseball alomost year round and these boys played on 2 teams each which forced us to eat at the ball park or pick up something fast and convenient.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Of course it's the parents' fault. Small children have no money, they can't cook for themselves, etc. Parents control what the kids eat, when they eat, etc.

    I always wonder when I see fat toddlers and children how on earth is that possible. My daughter ate like a bird when she was small (still does actually) but my sons ate like termites and I could not keep weight on them. Guess it's because they are very active people, but what little kid isn't active?? How do you have a small child who overeats and sits like a slug all day, how does that happen?

    Nintendo, v-tech, TV, no active play because the caregiver is sleeping/resting/whatever. They've been trained to be sedentary. They have computers for toddlers now, so that parents never have to interact with their kids.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    In my case, my ex-gf had 2 boys that played baseball alomost year round and these boys played on 2 teams each which forced us to eat at the ball park or pick up something fast and convenient.

    Pack some food in a cooler. Problem solved.
  • bnorris2013
    bnorris2013 Posts: 256 Member
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    1000000% could not agree it is the parents fault

    I became fat when I was about 9 1/2 to 10 years of age and why is that - Because my mom had to work full time and I was left with a sitter who supplied us full of sodas and moonpies - Is my mom partially to blame even though she was not there yes because she could have set guidelines for me when she saw me starting to gain weight prior to my mom's divorce yah we had some snacks in the house but it was always in moderation after her divorce she had to get help from who could help watch me and she could have set boundries - The parent who watched me totally blame her for not setting healthy choices - This is also the same lady who I believe gave me the gag reflex which causes me not to be able to eat new things because her philiosphy was you eat it because i made it and if you throw it up your eating that - granted i never threw it up i choked every nasty bite down but to this day if its something i dont like i will gag and to this day it takes me forever to try anything new because of this

    Anyways as a fat person for most of my life and my husband also a fat person most of his life when we had children we said we are not going to let our kids get that way - we rarely let our kids have soda and if we do has to be caffeine free and if at all possible diet - we dont keep soda in the house so its treat for going out - at home 99% of the time they drink water - they will drink milk sometimes when we have it and occassionally i buy juice or capri suns as a special drink

    when my daughter was about 3 we had to set forward a scheduled eat time because she kept wanting to eat all day long so we started it young - You get up you have breakfast , at 11 you get lunch (and believe you me the kids dont let you forget its lunch time LOL) - around 130-2ish they get a snack usually yogurt , cheese stick, goldfish (1 serving) and around 5ish they get dinner and after that they can have a dessert like a pudding, yogurt sometimes we have cookies sometimes fruit just depends on what we picked up last - when we had our second daughter we brought forward the same things

    Now we had more trouble with our second daughter because of her being picky and with my complex about forcing foods I never pushed her so it was not until she went into prek that we forced her to start trying other things - And I can tell by the look on her face if she likes it or not - sometimes she will say she does not like something when i know she really does just because she does not want to eat it - over the last year she has become more willing to try new things

    And both my kids are around the 50% percentile for their weight/height of other children - so my husband and i are doing a great job controling their diet and helping them make right choices - my oldest daughter rather have fruit for a dessert or snack then anything else , my youngest loves her carrots

    So yes 100% parents fault if their kid are fat from food consumption
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
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    I think your right, parents responsibility to teach and ensure their kids have good healthy eating habits and stay active. And if the parents are heavy, chances are the kids will be.
  • xiamjackie
    xiamjackie Posts: 611 Member
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    I agree with what everyone else has posted on here. I had a friend in high school who was extremely obese (400ish pounds) and when they would go on camping trips for the weekends (just her and her parents) they would take two dozen cupcakes for their "desserts" for the weekend. The weekend! And there was only 3 of them! They were all extremely obese, but she didn't know any better while growing up so she continued to eat that way into her adult life.


    As far as blaming the schools go, kids are not forced to eat the cafeteria lunch. You can send a bagged lunch to school with them. Many schools are taking the initiative to provide healthier meals or at least healthier alternatives to the main meals that are offered. Also, has anyone (especially in America) been paying attention to budget cuts lately? Unfortunately, special classes are the first ones to be decreased and/or cut from school funding. That includes PE. It is not the individual school's fault if their PE program is reduced or cut. If you're that concerned about their physical activity, take them outside for an hour when they get home from school. In most instances, there's a full 6 hours between the end of school and a child's bed time.

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