Overweight kids- Who's to blame
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OK.. Im reading all this crap, and I'm wondering
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO PLAYING OUTSIDE?!?!?
The Wii and Kinect for exercise? We have a very simple rule at our house, keeps the chitlins healthy..."GO PLAY"
They come home, do homework, get a snack, go OUTSIDE, and stay there until dark, chasing critters, climbing trees, digging holes, riding bikes, playing tag, helping garden, these are wholesome activities to keep your child fit... live in the city? You don't have a community garden, park, ally, nothing?! Hmmm, I don't buy it...
Thumbs up!
How come I don't see one child playing outside in winter! Ok we have a lot of snow...so what, when I was young we were always outside skating, playing hockey, snowball war...During summer hummm, too hot .COME ON
It's so much different now, I totally agree, playing outside is so much fun!0 -
Kids parents ate their role models (in early years, later on they are influenced by so much else). My two and a half year old can be extremely fussy but she loves having salad because mummy has it and recently she was eating loads of mackerel. She is very influenced by me and others around her. Even by other kids her age, she's more likely to eat more varied foods if she can see other kids eating (when she's at nursery once a week im often surprised what she's eaten).
If she was ever to big as a child i would see it as my fault and my responsibility.
My 15 month old son however eats everything and anything. He actually loves food so much that he doesn't know when to stop. It's a worry but as long as its healthy food i just attribute it to being a big growing boy.0 -
1000000% could not agree it is the parents fault
I became fat when I was about 9 1/2 to 10 years of age and why is that - Because my mom had to work full time and I was left with a sitter who supplied us full of sodas and moonpies - Is my mom partially to blame even though she was not there yes
"i 1000000% could not agree this is the parents fault"
"my mom is partially to blame"
So then your not 100% then if your contradicting yourself.
I think she meant to say could not agree MORE that its the parents fault and just left the "more" out. Because at the bottom she wrote yes I do think it's the parents fault.0 -
I have 3 kids and I feed them all the same food. One of my kids is slightly overweight and one is slightly underweight. The underweight one has been sneaking food into his room and eating at night go figure. The slightly overweight one has been eating double lunches at school and I do understand why (he does not sneak food as far as I can tell) ....they give them 3 mini corn dogs and a few sides which he doesn't like so he stocks up on the corn dogs. He is a picky eater as far as veggies go so I make sure that there is always a fruit or a veggie with dinner that he will eat every night. I have always cooked healthy and try not to bring too much junk into the house but I don't want to completely deprive my kids either which I think in some cases backfires. We may eat out once a week sometimes even less. So I started packing his lunches several times a week and so far I have not seen any changes.
I think a lot of it is hereditary also...my husband's side of the family everyone is very overweight and he seems to take after that side, my other son is more like my dad who can eat fried potatoes (I wouldn't do that but my dad does) for breakfast, lunch and dinner and still stay skinny.
So yes I agree parents are partly to blame but I wouldn't say 100% to blame.
Edited to say that all 3 kids are in a sport of some sort.....the slightly overweight one is playing 2 sports right now.
I also always make them go out and play on nice days.0 -
I saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.
It was causing ALOT of debate.
Personally I think that yes, if there is no medical reason for your child being very overweight, then it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that they aren't eating poorly or being inactive. And if the child still doesn't lose weight it is up to them to seek professional advice about it. If a parent fails to do that then they are to blame for their child's weight.
What does the rest of MFP think?
Other than underlying medical issues, it is poor food choices that primarily make for childhood obesity (or even skinniness and "sickliness"). There will be some variation in body fat between children--because of genetics--but generally, if the diet is good, they will stay within the "normal" range or close to it.
I know two little girls from the same family who get nearly identical diets. The older one (who is six) is very slender but the younger one (who is three) is a bit on the plump side--not what you would call fat, but has more body fat than her older sister. The mother says that the older daughter always outgrew clothes "vertically" while the younger one tends to outgrow them "horizontally". The younger girl is still in the "normal" range and is not as plump as many other three-year-olds, but is only at the 50th %ile for height and is at the 60th %ile for weight.
The older sister loves meat, vegetables and fruit and always eats moderately. She doesn't care much for sweets--her mother has observed that she often leaves most of the birthday cake at birthday parties she attends. Her mother sometimes worries that she is not eating enough but over all, she is quite healthy and strong. The younger one would eat nothing but carbohydrates, if her mother would let her. They have no junk food in the house but the younger one is a genius at worming treats out of both of her grandmothers. Both girls are extremely active, well-coordinated and athletic. They get sweets at home on rare occasions and only drink water or milk (very important to avoid fruit juice). My point is that even though the younger one may be a bit plumper by her genetic inheritance, there is no reason why she must be obese. The older girl would likely be too thin if she did not have a good diet.0 -
Skinny until elementary school snack breaks? You're blaming an elementary school teacher who allows for snacks (like many)? I think it is more on WHAT you ate at those snack times and who provided it. You say you didn't know how to eat healthy, that should come from home. Just my opinion, but the teacher when you were 8 isn't to blame.
Chill out! The teacher provided the snacks, and they weren't healthy. This is my life story, and you have no right to say it is incorrect.
And you have no right to use the excuse that a teacher got you fat. Do you not share food now with people? Did everyone in your class got fat?
Stop hiding behind excuses and learn that upto an age, poor habits are parents fault and after that, its all on you. You will have much better success if you accept it
She also gave several other reasons for her weight problem. It may be that the reason she sees it starting with that snack break is because that's when she looks down the line of her life, she sees her body change beginning. It may be that this time corresponds with that 7-10 year old phase when girls tend to thicken before they get taller (size 6X was a horrible feeling for me). But it is her recollection, there's no need to jump her about her recollection.
Jan
Exactly Jan. Thank you for saying what my post is about.
Wow, MFP forums are going downhill these days. 0 -
It's a complex answer (I say this, not as a person whose child struggles, but as a person who has seen this debate many times). You can sign kids up for sports, but not all kids are sporty and you can't make them play as a parent you can only sign them up. You can give your child appropriate portions and try to teach them about snacking, but you can't keep them from sneaking food. You can pack their lunches, but you can't keep them from beating up the kid beside them and stealing their dessert. You teach your children by example, but I know plenty of people who don't walk in their parent shoes. You try to teach your children a healthy relationship with food, but at the root of it all an unhealthy relationship with food and/or activity is why we are here to begin with. Then there's the education aspect of it. Food has become such a matter of convenience that people don't think about their food, don't know about what they should be eating, many don't know how to prepare a meal. How are parents supposed to teach their children about food when they don't know about it themselves. Example, I know a very well educated woman who was amazed that cake came out of anything except a box . . . she left her career to be a stay at home mom in her early 20's and we had this conversation more than 20 years after that. It's my opinion that while it is the habits of the parents reflecting on the child, it's a symptom of a more problematic socitial issue.0
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In the absense of a diagnosed medical condition...I would blame parents almost completely.
Quit buying "reward" foods for kids. They don't need pop-tarts, chips, cupcakes, high sugary cereal, chicken nuggets, soda (in any form) etc..etc...etc...
If you put it in your cabinet, you are telling your children it's okay to eat it all day long. We as parents feel the need to ensure our children are satiated, if they say "mommy, I'm hungry"...it usually ends up with them getting something, and if dinner isn't ready yet, it's something from the cabinet that's "easy"....don't make that "easy" some ridiculous processed sugar food.
If you want to give them a treat, make it a piece of fresh fruit, it is at the very least much better than that "fruit roll-up".0 -
Yes, I totally agree that parents have a big role to play in determining whether their children become overweight. I have a 6 year old son and I feed him as healthily as possible. He can be a bit fussy sometimes but he usually eats what I am eating unless it is spicy food. Yes, he does have treats like crisps/pizza/sweets but mostly at weekends. He loves fruit and a lot of vegetables. If he ended up being over weight I would definitely blame myself.
As well as the parents there is also the dreaded grandparents......my son is looked after by my mum and step dad one afternoon a week and he gets fed rubbish......sweets, crisps, chocolate, cakes etc. I have tried and tried to get them not to do this but all in vain. I get completely ignored. Very frustrating! My mother in law does the same.........0 -
My son is overweight. He's on a medicine that caused him to gain a lot, but in dealing with this, I realized that if we can't cut out the medicine, we can do other things.
So I'm teaching him (he's 13 and has autism) to cook healthy foods, I told him about soda being bad for him, he now drinks ice water. And we have stopped eating out, for the most part. I had been a horrible role model, we were eating out at fast food places way too much.
I am giving him encouragement when he eats to take less food than he would typically. I've told him, if he's still hungry in a half hour, he could have more. So far he's not needed more after eating. But he still has the tendency to binge. We're working on it.
We also swim an hour a day, which is helping a lot.
I see him making good choices now on his own and I'm thrilled for him. But I do feel it was my lack of guidance that let him get to this point. Blaming the meds was my cop out. I'm done with that now.
Let go of the guilt. We all mess up with our kids. But a great parent owns their mistakes and takes steps to correct them. I applaud you for making the changes in your life and his. Rock on momma!0 -
OK.. Im reading all this crap, and I'm wondering
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO PLAYING OUTSIDE?!?!?
The Wii and Kinect for exercise? We have a very simple rule at our house, keeps the chitlins healthy..."GO PLAY"
They come home, do homework, get a snack, go OUTSIDE, and stay there until dark, chasing critters, climbing trees, digging holes, riding bikes, playing tag, helping garden, these are wholesome activities to keep your child fit... live in the city? You don't have a community garden, park, ally, nothing?! Hmmm, I don't buy it...
The kinect - rainy days - after dark - when mom is cooking - when mom can't bring them out. Not a replacement..an addition. If they are going to play video games (and kids do) I prefer the kinect to the computer any day
We have a Wii, and yes, for the days when its rainy, sure, but not all day, they can build a fort inside! I'm just saying, most parents I know would rather let the kids happily sit in front of the TV if it keeps them out of their hair... And I let my kids play outside by themselves... but we have a big fenced in yard.
absolutely all though mine prefer digging - you would think we have 20 dogs there are so many holes out there.
I despise tv - and being lethargic so my kids are limited. I run an in home daycare and my TV is NEVER on unless we have a "special" movie that goes with our theme.
I have a fenced in yard however my own kids were caught too many times coming out of it (no thanks to my idiot neighbor that allows her 3 yr old to run the street! ) My fence is not high enough to add protection and I am over paranoid! So if I can not keep 100% eye on them or be out there with them..sometimes it is not feasible. If I can't get them out and they ask to play a video game...Kinect it is They also dance around the house like fools with our old iphones as ipods...I thought the iphone idea was not a good one..however they use it more for the music than any game on them so I am ok with them now. 0 -
For what it's worth, I do believe it starts at home. I do believe that the schools are now setting a horrible example for kids now too though. We put our sons in private school because there is still an emphasis on getting physical activity. There are 2 recesses a day plus gym. In public school, even our Kindergartner wasn't getting recess. Their reasoning was that there wasn't enough time in the school day.
While the education of children on their health and nutrition should be done by the parents, I understand why this is failing. So many people have no idea of the basics of a healthy lifestyle and couldn't possibly teach anything to their children of any real worth. It is easy to say eat healthy and move more, but when so many people have no idea of what eat healthy is, I understand why this fails over and over again.0 -
Yes I agree. And it's sad because 80% of obese children go on to be obese adults.
. Watch the documentary fast food babies it's really sad. 0 -
MOSTLY parents but as a former teacher schools def could help! Remember they aren't the school systems kids they are your kids. Parents should not leave it up to schools to teach their kids about sex, nutrition, etc... Schools should be there to guide them to learn about nutrition, I could go on about crappy school lunches for ever!!! It's a terrible shame what we feed kids in school, especially the kids who depend on that food for their own nutrition (breakfast and lunch kids who may not get dinner when they go home).partly parents and partly schools/government!
Sorry to go on, but schools cater to the "squeaky wheel" parents who want their kids to have cookies and snacks and 3 different kids of flavored milk.... gross!!!???0 -
To lay blame or fault isn't very conducive to helping any parent with their children.
From a personal perspective, as a(n) (formerly) overweight father, if someone wants to find fault with the parents, then change has to start with the parents. If the parent is overweight and not taking care of their own health and fitness, the parent's habits are going to trickle down to their children. We bandy about these concepts of teaching our children good habits and such, but if we don't have those good habits ourselves as parents and take care of ourselves, it just doesn't work. It doesn't even make sense.
I liken it to flying on an aircraft with a child. In the case of an emergency, secure your OWN oxygen mask before assisting your child.
My daughter (7) sees the changes I have made. She asks me about calories, whether the food she eats is healthy, the ramifications of what she eats, and other insightful questions. I have been to school with my daughter on the days where nutrition, portion control, and exercise were discussed. Society does play a role and, for the most part, attempts to educate and steer children in the right direction.
Children learn and grow from all of these experiences and sources of information. Do you also blame the parent if the child has difficulty in school, with learning, or any other areas of their lives? If so, then I have to wonder what the agenda is..
Blame parents all you want, but children are smarter than you give them credit for. Oh yeah, and if you have no children, unless you are a professional (teacher, nutritionist, child psychologist, etc), I will just tell you now that I view your opinion as tenuous at best.0 -
It's the strangers in long jackets offering kids sweets that are to blame. Ask any parent and they'll tell you those guys are on every street corner.0
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In many cases, it is the parents fault. My 3 (boys17 and 15, girl 13) are all slim and active but then my husband and I have always been active, running, walking with the dogs, weight training etc. The kids were always encouraged to do after school clubs for swimming, running, etc. Genetics play a part as do hormones - my daughter is currently getting v chunky legs and it is very difficult for me to hold back on mentioning it as I'm sure it's just in readiness for another growth spurt!
My friend has 2 daughters 12 and 9. The 12 year old is really skinny but enjoys horse riding so gets some exercise. The 9 year old is quite podgy and spends all her free time on her iPad. However neither parent is consistently/regularly active - eg their family walk involved 1.5 miles across the fields, plenty of hot chocolate before walking back. When my daughter was 9 she regularly walked 5-6 miles a time with no refreshment! I find it very hard when my friend is saying how sorry she feels for her child being overweight and how conscious the child is of that when it would be so easy to resolve! They live in the most gorgeous countryside in England for heavens sake!0 -
What you're describing is how parents teach their children about healthy eating and exercise habits. Show, don't tell.To lay blame or fault isn't very conducive to helping any parent with their children.
From a personal perspective, as a(n) (formerly) overweight father, if someone wants to find fault with the parents, then change has to start with the parents. If the parent is overweight and not taking care of their own health and fitness, the parent's habits are going to trickle down to their children. We bandy about these concepts of teaching our children good habits and such, but if we don't have those good habits ourselves as parents and take care of ourselves, it just doesn't work. It doesn't even make sense.
I liken it to flying on an aircraft with a child. In the case of an emergency, secure your OWN oxygen mask before assisting your child.
My daughter (7) sees the changes I have made. She asks me about calories, whether the food she eats is healthy, the ramifications of what she eats, and other insightful questions. I have been to school with my daughter on the days where nutrition, portion control, and exercise were discussed. Society does play a role and, for the most part, attempts to educate and steer children in the right direction.
Children learn and grow from all of these experiences and sources of information. Do you also blame the parent if the child has difficulty in school, with learning, or any other areas of their lives? If so, then I have to wonder what the agenda is..
Blame parents all you want, but children are smarter than you give them credit for. Oh yeah, and if you have no children, unless you are a professional (teacher, nutritionist, child psychologist, etc), I will just tell you now that I view your opinion as tenuous at best.0 -
In my case, my ex-gf had 2 boys that played baseball alomost year round and these boys played on 2 teams each which forced us to eat at the ball park or pick up something fast and convenient.
Pack some food in a cooler. Problem solved.
Most places do not allow coolers. Also, we both worked and for 5:30 games we had to be there early which means we pullin the drive load equip and head out. When I coached I actually changed in the car on my way home from the office.0 -
the parent obviously......... any other answer is a copout0
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Blame whoever buys the food. If junior is the one stocking the house with potato chips, frozen pizzas, and ice cream then point the finger at him. I'm going to take a wild guess that most kids don't have jobs, money, and don't grocery shop though.0
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Whenever I objected to my mom making me eat my vegetables and limiting my junk food, she always said "Until you're 18, you and your body are my responsibility." Both my parents were very focused on their "job" of creating functional, independent, healthy adults. Once my brother and I were out of the house, we were free to make all those decisions for ourselves.0
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OH no...it's not the parent's fault for being irresponsible...blame the public schools, and evil sugary cereal marketing, and the man on the moon, and everyone but the parents.0
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I moved my 4 y/o daughter to California from Vermont because my mom was too indulgent and I wanted to be more on my own. She would go back during the summer for about 4 weeks. One year she came back gaining like10+ when she was only 10-11 herself. Mom had to buy her all new clothes. I almost fell over when I saw her come off the plane. I asked her if she ate chips and ice cream every night and with big eyes she asked "how did you know?"
My mom was told that if she was going to visit again that she could gain no more than 3# and she had to provide some sort of physical exercise for her. My daughter lost her "grannie visit" weight and has remained fairly healthy weight wise (she gained during a bad relationship just out of HS)
Parents are to blame as children but we must make better choices as adults for ourselves AND our children!0 -
i don't believe there are as many medical reasons out there to blame as people think they are. it's a small amount that contributes to obesity, the rest of the reasons are preventable.
i think lack of information/education to parents and to schools. when i was growing up i was on the free school lunch program, so my mom really could not control what i ate while i was there. and i'm thinking the school lunches are a lot worse than they used to be. mmmm pink slime. but seriously, i think education is a large part, and not many people are truly educated about health and wellness.
also, in general foods are so much more processed than they ever were. i remember being in elementary school, and there were some fat kids for sure, but like not obese children in numbers out of hand. i would think chemicals in the food, convenience food with high sodium and fat at a cheap price can also be part of the reason, and the parents' lack of knowledge or financial resources to provide otherwise.
the world is getting crazier by the day. i rarely see kids outside playing up the street, and for good reasons. you don't know what whack job there is out there or what is going on these days, and if you are not around you really don't want your kids running with the neighborhood kids (who could be whack jobs too). i used to walk up the hill all the time alone in elementary school/middle school to hang out with the kids in the area and it was fine. mom kicked us out after the morning and said be bake by dinner...or else. i think if parents do have the time then yes be outside while your kids are playing, but it's very rare for parents to just sent their kids out to play for the day.
advancement in technology could be a culprit as well, all these fancy games now and the internet. i remember having a computer from my cousins when i was young, it wasn't hooked up to the internet though. and we could only use it for an hour tops every couple days. you had to get your behind outside and do something, or at least pick up a book. i know a lot of kids are playing video games now, sitting at the computer for hours straight (a kid i babysat played computer games 10+ hours a day. he rarely wanted to go outside and when he did he would bug out 10 mins later that it was too hot, and back in the AC it was). and if parents are busy with multiple jobs and tired when they get home, which is understandable, then they let the tv/internet kick in as the entertainment for the night.
i definitely do not think there is one sole reason for obesity, in kids or adults. and there are prolly more factors i didn't think of, i just woke up so bear with me. it's sad though, my sister and i were never overweight, really none of my family has been (surprising since we're italian and love the carbs and cheese haha). but we have always been active. dad used to take us to watch cross country meets (he's been a distance runner since he was in hs), and sharing that with us helped us have an interest at a young age in being active. i ran cross country middle school through freshman year college (messed my knew up, no bueno. did marching band instead since it's way less intense but still active). he would sign us up for the little kid races when we were 5. it was awesome. i think being there for your kids and showing them what is out there to build an interest at a young age is important.
okay i'm done with my 2 cents, time to go hiking with the doggy
eta: we rarely went out to eat either, usually my dad cooked. i think that has a lot to do with it as well, because there wasn't all that hidden extra fat/sodium. i remember we got pizza once because the power was out on our side of town for a few days and a pizzeria in one of the plazas had power :laugh:
but really, i think it's important for the parents to take initiative and be responsible for what their kid eats, and how their kid views food. they need to be a good role model and show their kids healthy lifestyles, not just sit around and waste away on the couch while the kids doing the same playing neopets all day (hey, is that still around). but there should be more resources for the parents as well, it's hard to do alone.0 -
It is entirely the parent's responsibility.
Let a 10 year old who likes video games do what he wants and eat what he wants, and guess what. You have a fat, unhappy kid.
Make them eat their vegetables and play outside, with computer time limited... you have a happier, skinnier kid. I've seen it in my own kids.
Another personal example, when I was a teenager I had a similar situation... and I was depressed. I joined football, started exercising and eating better, and I was a happier person... and I didn't even like football back then.0 -
the parents =D simple i have a two year old he eats like me not like his junk addicted daddy and hes 2 is now chooses my food over his daddys and turned down a cookie for a veggie curry the other day they develop the tastes for food young and they learn from the parents what they should eat if parents take their kids to mcdonalds every night buy them sweets every time they go to the store have a huge choccy and chip cupboard thats not going to turn out well x0
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Definitely the parents; the 'behave and I'll give you a biscuit (cookie)' culture.0
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Completely agree - parents are the ones prepping the meals. If the kids don't want to eat it, it's up to the parents to be vigilant about not caving in for an easy, unhealthy meal.0
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partly parents and partly schools/government!
Nope. Theres no partly. Its fully parents. If your school doesn't provide healthy foods and keeps pushing high calories junk foods then talk to them. Many communities are now doing it and for almost the same cost. The fact that NO parent screamed at the schools when they passed out pizza as a serving of veggies shows that parents are the one neglecting.
Ultimately it's the parent's responsibility, but when it comes to schools, it's not just the food, it's the lack of proper physical education. They have cut PE down from daily to only 2 days/week in my area. Kids aren't allowed to get up and release their energy except on those 2 days. My son is ADHD and actually was punished by taking him out of PE for being too active in class. He also has a huge appetite/metabolism bc of his ADHD and I asked if he could bring extra snacks or eat school lunch plus some healthy snacks that I send. They said no. (they only had 15 minutes to eat anyways) He can either eat school lunch (which was free for him since I'm a single parent) OR pack a lunch, but he couldn't do both. WHAT?! This, among many other reasons, is why my son is now homeschooled. He gets 45 minutes- an hour of physical activity during the school day and 10 minute breaks between subjects. He's also allowed to excel where needed and express his creativity. My mom works with him while I'm at my job. He knows how important it is to eat healthy and exercise because I taught him, but his school certainly did not encourage any of this.
same at our school and it is totally both....0
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