self defeating negativity
BeachIron
Posts: 6,490 Member
When someone is watching you when exercising, do you think that they are thinking how fat or out of shape you are? You don't know what they are thinking, they may be lost in thought or thinking "wow" that person is working hard.
When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.
When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.
When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.
When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.
Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.
Happy Monday!
When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.
When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.
When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.
When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.
Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.
Happy Monday!
0
Replies
-
Well said, Sir *lifts coffee to cheers you*
Happy Monday
0 -
Very well said...0
-
:drinker:0
-
Awesome thread!!!!
Love you Beach:)
This is hard for some people to do this because the thoughts are so practised they are automatic, but there are strategies that can be used to reshape distorted thinking. At the end of the day it's about identifying and stopping the negative internal dialogue and practicing positive thoughts that are incompatible with the usual ones.
It really does make life far more enjoyable.0 -
Managing that inner dialogue is definitely the key to success. People often worry a lot about bad influences around them, but the most powerful voice you hear is your own. Choose wisely!0
-
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0
-
*Offers OP a cookie*0
-
Even if it were true that people were looking at me in disgust or laughing at me, I genuinely wouldn't care.0
-
When someone is watching you when exercising, do you think that they are thinking how fat or out of shape you are? You don't know what they are thinking, they may be lost in thought or thinking "wow" that person is working hard.
When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.
When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.
When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.
When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.
Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.
Happy Monday!
Thank you for this. Have a beautiful day yourself.
0 -
:flowerforyou:0
-
:flowerforyou:0
-
:flowerforyou: :drinker:0
-
When someone is watching you when exercising, do you think that they are thinking how fat or out of shape you are? You don't know what they are thinking, they may be lost in thought or thinking "wow" that person is working hard.
When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.
When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.
When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.
When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.
Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.
Happy Monday!
thanks for this. Helps a lot, especially now.0 -
Perfect.0
-
Also - avoid the "gym etiquette" MFP threads at all costs...0
-
it's amazing....how the inner dialogue can affect things so completely.
I was having this inner dialogue at the gym last week, while watching another woman work out in close to the same circuit I was doing. I mentioned to my boyfriend how in shape she was and how I couldn't wait to get there.
he stopped, he looked at me...and he said "You realize you are lifting close to 30 pounds MORE than she is and you are about 2-3 sizes SMALLER than her...right?"
I had to re-evaluate everything my inner voice tells me. It was humbling to realize how much I was listening to it...and how much it was causing me to perceive things differently than they were.
great post Beach.0 -
I do these things quite often, though I am slowly getting better.
Great post!0 -
This is something I've had to learn how to do. My husband was always complaining about how negative I was, about everything! After developing depression a second time (after the birth of my second child) I realized that something needs to change, and that something starts inside of me. I did a complete 180 and changed my view of the world. Instead of thinking negatively all the time and getting upset about what my body can't do (I have a disability) I decided to focus on what it CAN do. This switch has allowed me to start working out despite my chronic pain. It has allowed me to push through that, to work my body in ways it hasn't moved in over a decade, and to become healthier and happier. My depression is slowly going away, my anxiety is better, and I've lost many inches and pounds.
Positive thinking is the KEY!!0 -
Thank you for the reminder:)0
-
As others have pointed out, very well said.0
-
Great post for the Motivation and Support section.
I believe a huge number of conflicts are caused not by what was actually said, or actually posted, but some version of one or both parties inner dialogues. Go back and read threads that blew up, or witness family/friend conflicts from an objective distance. I'm convinced misinterpretation that triggers and/or coincides with negative inner dialogue is often the catalyst, as well as the fuel that keeps the conflict going.
Fix that inner dialogue and we could all have more cupcakes.0 -
Excellent post. I always figure it does not cost me anything to think positive, but the cost of negative thinking is huge. When I find my self in negativity all of a sudden I become unwilling to try new things, meet new people, try new experiences and it shuts down my hope. Reality is, who wants to be around a negative person? Only other negative people usually. Not some place I want to be. Thanks for the upbeat post.0
-
nicely said! :flowerforyou:0
-
The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.
It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.0 -
I needed this today. Thanks!0
-
Thanks for the great message! Very well said. I think everyone on MFP should read this! :drinker:0
-
Cheers!
Have a great day everyone!0 -
Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.
It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.0 -
Couldn't agree more! Great post! 0
-
Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.
It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
*glances at the fat shaming thread*
Compassion, you say? It seems unlikely, but it's a nice thought.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions