self defeating negativity

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2

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  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    Great post for the Motivation and Support section.

    I believe a huge number of conflicts are caused not by what was actually said, or actually posted, but some version of one or both parties inner dialogues. Go back and read threads that blew up, or witness family/friend conflicts from an objective distance. I'm convinced misinterpretation that triggers and/or coincides with negative inner dialogue is often the catalyst, as well as the fuel that keeps the conflict going.

    Fix that inner dialogue and we could all have more cupcakes.
  • CindyRip
    CindyRip Posts: 166 Member
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    Excellent post. I always figure it does not cost me anything to think positive, but the cost of negative thinking is huge. When I find my self in negativity all of a sudden I become unwilling to try new things, meet new people, try new experiences and it shuts down my hope. Reality is, who wants to be around a negative person? Only other negative people usually. Not some place I want to be. Thanks for the upbeat post.
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
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    nicely said! :flowerforyou:
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
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    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    I needed this today. Thanks!
  • iamabutterflychaser
    iamabutterflychaser Posts: 35 Member
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    Thanks for the great message! Very well said. I think everyone on MFP should read this! :drinker:
  • jen_zz
    jen_zz Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Cheers!

    Have a great day everyone!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Couldn't agree more! Great post! :smile:
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
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    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    *glances at the fat shaming thread*

    Compassion, you say? It seems unlikely, but it's a nice thought.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    :)
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
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    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.

    ^ True. If someone is truly open to changing and wants to hear different ideas it's not "preaching to the choir", it's the idea that may just turn their thinking around. And some people just enjoy $#@!ing all over any idea even if it will help them or others because they are afraid of change and seem to enjoy being negative and unhappy. Carry on.
  • tabik30
    tabik30 Posts: 443
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    "you wouldnt worry so much about what others think of you if you knew how seldom they did"~ my favorite Dr Phil quote
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
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    It's all about the internal dialogue/motivation. this is 90% mental, 10% physical.
    When i'm doing well, it's because I was doing great mentally.
    When I'm not, again it says volumes of where I am, or was mentally at that time.
  • violettatx
    violettatx Posts: 230 Member
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    Well said.

    Now where is my cookie?
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    It's all about the internal dialogue/motivation. this is 90% mental, 10% physical.
    When i'm doing well, it's because I was doing great mentally.
    When I'm not, again it says volumes of where I am, or was mentally at that time.

    THIS IS SO ME. Great way to put it, Thanks :)
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
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    Nice one!!

    to add to what you said, negative talk like this results in you putting CONTROL OF YOUR FUTURE in the hands of events / people / cicumstances etc.

    Change it!

    we all need to give ourselves a well deserved pat on the back sometimes. :smile:
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,904 Member
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    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.

    ^ True. If someone is truly open to changing and wants to hear different ideas it's not "preaching to the choir", it's the idea that may just turn their thinking around. And some people just enjoy $#@!ing all over any idea even if it will help them or others because they are afraid of change and seem to enjoy being negative and unhappy. Carry on.

    *shrug* We are all free to own interpretations. I'm just saying that if someone is in a mental state where they're beating themselves up--or other people for that matter--then telling them to cheer up (which is essentially what I got out of the initial post) is perhaps a little misguided.

    It doesn't mean that the post necessarily serves no purpose. I imagine it could be quite motivational to someone who's open to change, as you say. I would humbly suggest that quite a few people who have such a negative internal dialogue would probably like to be open to change, but have trouble flipping that "let's just not be negative" switch.

    The stuart smalley treatment only goes so far.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.

    ^ True. If someone is truly open to changing and wants to hear different ideas it's not "preaching to the choir", it's the idea that may just turn their thinking around. And some people just enjoy $#@!ing all over any idea even if it will help them or others because they are afraid of change and seem to enjoy being negative and unhappy. Carry on.

    *shrug* We are all free to own interpretations. I'm just saying that if someone is in a mental state where they're beating themselves up--or other people for that matter--then telling them to cheer up (which is essentially what I got out of the initial post) is perhaps a little misguided.

    It doesn't mean that the post necessarily serves no purpose. I imagine it could be quite motivational to someone who's open to change, as you say. I would humbly suggest that quite a few people who have such a negative internal dialogue would probably like to be open to change, but have trouble flipping that "let's just not be negative" switch.

    The stuart smalley treatment only goes so far.

    buck up, Buttercup

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