MFP changed my life

This post is a success story (two, actually), a love letter, and a thank you letter.

Hopefully, I can become a success story again someday.

First, some background...

965 days ago, I decided to change my life.

I have told much of my story many times before, so you may already be familiar with it, but here’s a brief summary:

I had been morbidly obese for several years and had battled depression for most of my life (from at least the age of 11, with an official diagnosis of “clinical depression” a bit later and “bipolar disorder” after that). After a particularly bad bout of depression, my doctor recommended that I start exercising a bit in order to release some endorphins and hopefully help me with my mood swings.

I decided that, if I had to exercise to get my brain healthy, I might as well go all out and get the rest of me healthy, too. I wouldn’t just exercise, I would eat well, too.

I joined MFP that day, 965 days ago.

It changed my life in more ways than I could ever have imagined.

I shed a “crap-ton” of weight - nearly 140 pounds at one point, and although I put some back on, I have maintained a healthy weight for close to two years.



I have an amazing Zumba instructor to thank for teaching me that exercise could be fun (that’s not the only exercise I did and not even how I started exercising, but it is how I learned to love to exercise), and I have MFP to thank for all the rest.

MFP taught me about portion control, nutrition, and so much more.

How much more?

Well, that’s where this becomes a love letter, and also where the second success story comes in.

The #1 reason that MFP is so amazing is the community. I was able to build genuine friendships with real people - no matter how many miles separated us, no matter how much weight we needed to gain or lose, no matter what. I found people on here who became family to me and who, even though things are pretty awful for me physically right now (long story, little summary near the end of this post), they continue to stand by me.

One of those people is Tim, the amazing man you see in my profile picture with me.

Tim also lost an incredible amount of weight on MFP. He has since focused on building muscle and getting stronger.

His physical transformation is truly jaw dropping, but that’s not the only reason (or even one of the main reasons) he is so special.

Tim and I became friends on MFP in June of last year. Over the next month and a half, I got to know him through messages and posts on each other’s walls - pretty much how I interacted with the rest of my friends on here. I was constantly struck by how dedicated he was - not just to exercise (the man is a weight-lifting BEAST), not just to setting a good example for his family, but also to being a genuinely good human being.

We developed a strong friendship and began to have feelings for each other and, even though he lived in another state and I was quite cynical about love following a rather bitter end to my marriage just a couple of months prior, we decided to meet. If we had romantic chemistry in person, we would see where things led; otherwise, we would just spend an extended weekend with a great friend.

Thank you again, MFP. You introduced me to the most amazing man I have ever known.

Fast forward just a few months and my son and I moved from Tucson to Salt Lake City, in part for a fresh start, and in part to be closer to Tim.

Every single day that I know Tim, I fall more in love. I truly have never met anyone like him. He has a sense of humor that never ceases to make me smile, even on my darkest days. He has the most amazing patience, both with me and my son, who has a myriad of social and behavioral struggles. He is an amazing father to his own son and treats my son with equal compassion and love and discipline. He is kind and smart and responsible and has shown me, for the first time in my life, that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Tim has faithfully continued to exercise and to be fit and strong and, even though he put some weight back on over the last year, he didn’t get discouraged and has continued to hold strong to his physical goals.

He is now fighting to help me reach mine again. A year ago, I could do 250 pushups in a little over 16 minutes and run a 5k in under a half an hour. Now, it is a struggle to get from my apartment to my car door, and that is with the use of a cane or walker.

Four weeks ago, I had emergency surgery on my back due to severe spinal stenosis and cord compression that had caused my left leg to go completely paralyzed. Although I have regained most feeling, a bit of strength, and some mobility since the operation, my recovery is not going as well as expected and depression has hit me with a vengeance, which has made things worse.

Tim has been amazing. Not only does he work crazy hours, he plays with the kids, cooks meals, exercises, and makes sure I am taken care of. He makes sure I eat, he helps me shower, and he makes sure I have clothes within reach since he leaves for work before I get up in the morning.

Tim won’t let me risk re-injuring myself by overdoing things or going beyond my strict “no bending, twisting, lifting, etc” rules and he cheers on each small victory (like the first time I was able to lift my left leg enough to drag it out of the bathtub after a shower without physically picking it up). He’s also been doing some range of motion exercises with my leg - I say he’s been doing them because, by the end of the day, I have lost almost all of what little bit of strength I had to begin with and can’t push, pull, or do anything else with my leg and foot so he ends up just stretching them, bending them, moving them around, etc.

No matter how much Tim has going on, or how tired he is, he keeps fighting for me.

Tim is determined to help me get better, to help my story not be one of “oh, how the mighty have fallen” after all of the accomplishments I had in the past, but to be one of resilience and recovery and, someday, success over obstacles that right now feel far too big to overcome.

So this is a dedication to Tim, and a love letter to Tim, a thank you to Tim, and a huge THANK YOU to MFP for introducing Tim to me.