Hi My Name Is Tim, Welcome to MFP

I will take your Johnny Depp and raise you a



FTW!!!!

Hello Tim!

You know, four years ago when I clocked in at 320 pounds, I asked myself, "what are you going to do when you swallow the last of this twinkie?"

You know what my answer was, Tim?

Do you?

It was "EAT ANOTHER TWINKIE."

My life was a mess, my body was destroyed, and my heart, though still beating, had given out on me nonetheless.

BUT THEN! I signed up for MyFistinPal and things started to turn around. I started weighing those twinkies - oh I still ate them, don't get me wrong, I STILL eat them. But I knew how much! For the first time, I was in control of the twinkies instead of the twinkies controlling me.

Do you know what it's like to be controlled by snack food, Tim? It's horrible. It's like that scene in Se7en. Twinkies are a bitter mistress that give you ever shortening bursts of pleasure followed by lengthening and lengthening bouts of guilt and remorse.

It gets to the point where the only thing that makes you happy makes you miserable, but you still can't stop stuffing, and stuffing, and stuffing until your sides literally hurt from how full you are on the inside.

But then I found MyFirstessPal and things changed. I control the twinkies. Now I cut them open like cadavers and stuff them with healthy fillings! Pureed carrots! Collared Greens!

THJANK YOU MYFRISKYPAL!

With love,
Burt

SEEEEE YAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!