Why do people consider weight loss surgery cheating?

This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.

I'm sorry your paying customers are so irritating to you by requesting a service that is offered by many other restaurants. Many establishments DO offer a smaller size meal and discounted rate to WLS patients.. Why should it irritate you if someone asks? Does it also irritate you when people ask for a senior discount? Now if they are DEMANDING special treatment, that might be cause for irritation, but really you are so easily annoyed that you can't handle an inquiry?

These are not polite customers asking if they can order off the the senior menu or kids menu. These are demanding customers that order the regular meal, then want it discounted because they can only eat a portion of it. I have never seen a menu with a WLS/Lap band section on it. Unless you have worked in food service, you have no idea how rude and demanding people can be.

See, now this is one thing I don't like at all, either. There is no reason the restaurant should have to accommodate me to that degree. I totally get, and fully appreciate, offering more post-op friendly foods, and if smaller portions are offered, I definitely take advantage, but if not, it doesn't kill you to either split the meal with your dining companion, order an appetizer, or take home leftovers. There's no need to get all huffy about it. My surgeon provided me with a card to give servers, explaining that I've had stomach surgery and cannot eat a full portion, and requesting that they allow me to purchase from the kids' menu or get half portions, but I've never used it and no longer even carry it.

I can't believe some ppl think its the easy way out. WlS is one of the hardest things to do. Your life will nvr be the same again. You no longer enjoy food.... You will nvr again get to feel the satisfaction of talking a gulp of water when you're super thirsty. You can nvr have candy or sweets again....and if you do there are horrible consequences! I don't enjoy going to social gatherings anymore bc they always involve some sort of food that I can't eat and it makes me feel like an outsider. The surgery was painful and there was a long long recovery. I still have to excerisize.... I still have to manage what I eat....even more so bc now it's really important I get lots of protien. I have to do what everyone else is doing to lose weight plus the problems from the WLS! But there was no way I could've done it without it bc I was addicted. I would tell ppl that this is the harder road to take and if at all possible to try to do it the normal way.

Maybe you can see why some of us would think it's not a good idea?


Everyone can do whatever they want with their lives. But this^? I wouldn't recommend that kind of life to anyone.

...and again I say, mileages may vary. I was back at work within a week, so my recovery was nowhere even in the ballpark of "long". I can chug water like a champ, and I can still eat the occasional piece of candy or kid's birthday cake with no consequences, and have once or twice. I just choose not to do it all the time. I LOVE social gatherings even more than I ever did, because I'm a big attention *kitten* and I love getting compliments. I just plan my way around the food and decide ahead of time what I will eat, or whether I'll have something more fitting to my plan at home beforehand. Yes, it does require planning and dedication and modification, but so does any other long-term plan. I know far more post-op patients who live the lifestyle I'm living than the one described above. Please don't let the horror stories stand as the norm just because they stay fresher in the mind.

I am only two months post-op for my VSG surgery. I eat around 1,050 calories a day and chug water easily. My lunch today consisted of a 2 ounce piece of turkey breast, 1 ounce of avocado and a piece of cheese. it's small, but enough to be psychologically satisfying. I still enjoy food immensely, I just enjoy it in smaller quantities and make sure that it's of good nutritive value as well as TASTY... and yes, TASTY is still very important to me!!! As far as sweets goes, I've been avoiding them for the most part but I enjoyed two peanut butter cups about a month ago and those went down nicely without any complaints from my digestive system which is not surprising since VSG patients don't have any malabsorption so don't typically experience any of those nasty side effects from any foods. My recovery was way easier than my gallbladder removal was years ago. I had very little pain, and only took pain medication for one day post op. I was up and walking around within hours of the surgery. My experience has been excellent with the surgery. I've lost 24 pounds in two months.. around 3 pounds a week which isn't a ridiculous amount for a person of my size who is also exercising daily. (the other 70 pounds on my ticker I lost before surgery)

People consider it cheating because they want to nail you to the cross. You're fat and you deserve to suffer, be shamed and feel like crap, after all you are worthless don't you know?. Sarcasm aside, Ignore the haters and keep on keeping on. People are jerks and it's YOUR health so you do what will get YOU healthy. Period.

I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.


Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.

Erm... you do know that WLS is only a catalyst right? YOu know that even after the surgery they have to work hard, and eat properly or they can undo everything they have done right?


I have a friend who has had WLS, she has had amazing results, but I also know she works her *kitten* off (literally) to maintain what she has lost and she worked her *kitten* off to lose that weight. WLS is NOT a fix, it is a tool, one that if used properly is a wonderful tool, they still have to maintain a healthy lifestyle which includes a good diet and exercise to get to the goal they want.

OP ignore everyone and their remarks, do what YOU need to do for YOU and no one else.

ABSOLUTELY THIS!!!

I had surgery a month ago tomorrow and I am still working just as hard now as I did before the surgery to lose weight and gain strength. Don't listen to those people who haven't gone thru it, they have no idea what they are talking about if they think its cheating or the easy way to lose weight. Its not.

Yes, you do see some great results at first, but the you will hit plateaus just like everyone else and if your not following all the rules laid out for you you will gain it back. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I have no doubt that there are people out there that joined a gym and worked their *kitten* off to get in shape and then let it all fall apart because they got complacent so they have no room to judge people that used surgery as a tool. Just like a gym or a food scale, surgery is a TOOL.

You people need to get off your high-horses if you haven't been thru it and be supporting because I guarantee people that have had the surgery have a lot more challenges than you do. People that judge someone else's choice, shouldn't, because I bet there is something you do in your life that others would be appalled at.

OP do what you need to do and remember to just surround yourself with people that understand your situation and support you and get rid of the ones that dont.

I don't think there is anything about weight-loss surgery that is easy.

But I do think there is something to be said for learning how to make necessary lifestyle changes. Surgery doesn't change your habits. I know MANY people who have had one form of bariatric surgery or another, and I can only say that ONE of them has kept the weight off. Some of the others tried for a while, but eventually they all thought of their smaller stomachs as a safety net, and I firmly believe it is because they never learned how to eat properly or maintain an active lifestyle before they went under the knife. They had surgery, the weight fell off with little effort on their part, and they weren't equipped to maintain that loss.

I'm not trying to discourage you. You may very well have a great handle on your diet and exercise habits. But to be perfectly honest, if you are looking for reassurance or confirmation that you're doing the right thing from strangers on the Internet, I'm not sure you're in the right mental state for a surgery of this magnitude.

^^^This^^^ I've seen it also. Make sure if you have the surgery that you realize that it is a tool. You still have to figure out how to change your lifestyle. Good luck to you!

First off, good for you! You asked experts to give their opinions, you tried conservative approaches and then you've looked at something that may help change your lifestyle and create a healtier you. There's a lot that goes into creating the mental change as well as the physicial change. You seem to be in a good place to do it. It's your body. How you run it is ultimately your call.

I've only thought of it as cheating in the sense that you are cheating yourself of the ability to properly take care of yourself and proactively work to change the things that made you unhealthy. I personally know at least 5 people who have had surgery and all but one of them gained the weight back or other wise look malnourished because they don't take care of themselves. Gastric bypass robs your body of much needed nutrients and doesn't allow you to absorb everything you need from food. It doesn't teach you how to eat. You CAN lose the weight on your own. It will take longer but at least you will be on the right track to learn how to eat healthy and live a long life. That surgery is just plan scary and the end result is seldom what people expect. That is not to discourage you from doing what you feel you need to do. I've never thought of the people I know who had the surgery negatively. More than anything, I saw that it made them mentally and physically sicker than they were to begin with.

Edit to note that I have come across people who had the surgery and talk negatively about others who are still obese. That is the only time I've ever thought of it as cheating.

I am compelled to comment (and perhaps rant a bit). I am personally acquainted with at least 5 people who've had gastric bypass surgery and one who had the lap band one. Some of the GBS people did great at first. One kept it up because she drastically changed her eating habits and became an avid cyclist. Most of them gained the weight back, some all of it plus more. One, after doing the 2 week pre-surgery regimen of exercise and eating healthily, lost enough weight that she no longer qualified weight-wise for the surgery, but they still did it. All these people look like they've aged at least 10 years, some more. The one who had the LBS changed nothing and joked about how she refuses to give up the food she loves.

The one that pains me is one of my dearest friend. She, like me, has struggled with her weight for many years. I was not surprised that she decided to have the GBS. She insisted "I've tried everything and nothing works". That's not true. She did Weight Watchers for a while and was losing, but stopped. She tried South Beach and lost quite a bit then stopped. It wasn't the programs that didn't work; it was her not working them. And, that's where I think the "it's a cop-out" mentality is derived from for me. I am NOT judging; I struggle from the same behavior. Initially when she was losing she was excited to buy a whole new wardrobe, etc. She had many complications afterward due in part to her refusal to drink water and exercise. She has aged at least 15 years - sunken eyes, dark circles beneath eyes, bones sticking out, hair thinning, etc.. Her personality has changed drastically. She used to be fun-loving and a joy to be around. Now, about 2 years after her surgery, she's miserable and depressed often. How she eats is horribly unhealthy. She orders food that I can't believe she thinks her stomach will tolerate, takes one bite, gets sick, then eats something else unhealthy. Last time she ordered potato skins and after getting sick ate an entire piece of cheesecake. I can no longer go out to eat with her because it's hard to witness this behavior and, for selfish reasons, her unhealthy eating affects my ability to stay on program.

The emotional/mental preparedness is extremely important. For me personally, I know how much I struggle to follow a healthy eating and physical activity program; I don't think it would be any easier if I had the surgery. The program I'm following now through a local hospital includes behavioral counseling and changing behavior I've had for many years is so-o-o difficult!

All of that said, your reasons for having the surgery are yours, no one else's. As with all opinions, there's always a contradicting one. Best success to you with whatever decision you make!

This is always going to be a touchy subject for a number of people. Full disclosure: I had the lap-band in December 2011. I'm 5'8" and 35 years old. At my highest weight I was 270. I am now about 15 pounds away from my goal of losing 108 pounds. Every day, and I mean EVERY DAY, I question whether or not I regret my decision to do it.

There are a number of well-informed comments on this thread and just as many well-meaning (albeit largely anecdotal) comments from someone who knows someone. Then there are a handful who I would argue are not well-informed but have a strong opinion one way or the other. And that's OK. I don't take offense at any of these comments, partly because of my own inner struggle with my choice.

When I first made the decision to do it, I successfully lost 30 pounds on the pre-op diet, which consisted of mostly protein shakes and one lean meal per day. Not surprising that I lost weight, but not a sustainable diet for a lifetime. If I’m being honest with myself, I know I stuck to that diet like glue because I was terrified that my enlarged liver would prevent me from being able to have the surgery done safely. And let me pause there…because surgery of any kind should never be undertaken lightly. It is painful, even when done as a laparoscopic procedure. It also has risks – very serious risks that need to be weighed by the person undergoing the procedure. Ideally, this person is also being supported by wise counsel from their physician as well as trusted family/friends who are genuinely concerned about their well-being.

To the OP’s question: why do people consider it cheating? Because ultimately, that is a subjective assessment that needs to be evaluated by each individual. There is no definitive answer. Do I think it’s cheating? No, I do not. It is not a magic wand. It requires sustained hard work, both physically and mentally. As many others have said, it is merely a tool. It is also only one of several tools that you will need to learn to wield properly in order to be successful. For me, at its most basic level, my lap band effectively utilizes operant conditioning to force me to change my behavior. Am I capable of eating more than I should? Yes. Do I feel good when I do that? Most certainly not. This becomes a very powerful incentive to change your behavior quickly. If done properly, you learn to adjust your lifestyle to your new surgically-imposed restrictions, which in time becomes the new standard for your behavior and your decisions.

As I noted, the surgery is only one of several tools you will need. Like anyone attempting to lose weight, you have to make wise choices about your food intake and you simply have to exercise if you wish to sustain your new, healthy lifestyle. I log every calorie and I work out regularly with a personal trainer. And to put it bluntly, you need to get your mind right. That means different things to different people, but to me it meant never giving up…no matter how difficult, no matter how frustrating, no matter how slowly the process may seem to be going at times. And ultimately, that was one of the most powerful things for me. I had made the choice to go down this path, drastic as it was, and I simply could not allow myself to fail.

As of this writing, I still have the band but I have had all the fluid removed, so it provides zero restriction. I am determined to go the rest of the way on my own. I often wish I had opted to make those same healthy lifestyle changes without the aid of the lap-band. I will never know if I would have been as successful over the course of the last year and a half, but I wish I would have tried. And I mean REALLY tried.

OP, I wish you all the best in your decision. Feel free to message me if you would like more information.

To the OP:

What I'm not understanding is if you are having problems losing weight with your PCOS now, how is it going to change when you have the surgery? Will something in your hormones change that will make you more likely to lose weight, purely due to the surgery? It would seem logical that the weight may come back on (and you would still have extra trouble getting it off) if you still have PCOS, as you said PCOS is the cause for your weight problems.