Why do people consider weight loss surgery cheating?
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This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.
I'm sorry your paying customers are so irritating to you by requesting a service that is offered by many other restaurants. Many establishments DO offer a smaller size meal and discounted rate to WLS patients.. Why should it irritate you if someone asks? Does it also irritate you when people ask for a senior discount? Now if they are DEMANDING special treatment, that might be cause for irritation, but really you are so easily annoyed that you can't handle an inquiry?0 -
I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.
Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.
You work just as HARD, if not HARDER, after weight loss surgery than anyone does to lose the weight. It is only a TOOL. You still have to do the work. The weight doesn't just fall off. It means completely changing your life--immediately. ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT WE DON'T WORK AS HARD HAS NO CLUE.
Why couldn't you work this hard before the surgery??0 -
I don’t know about the term ‘cheating’- this isn’t a competition, if you’re cheating anyone it’s just yourself for not learning how to be healthy the hard way (diet and exercise.) I do know my mom was in the hospital for over a month due to complication with her gastric bypass and I know I wouldn’t want to willingly put myself in that position (I’ve been in the hospital enough for reasons I can’t control as it is.) I also know you can eat sugar and fat again after the surgery- plenty of people get the surgery and gain the weight back after losing it (my mom is a great example of that.) When your doctor suggests you should get the surgery it’s because they don’t believe you have the willpower to lose the weight, not because they think it’s impossible via the usual means. Do what you feel is right, but don’t feel like it’s your only option.0
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Could a WLS patient do an hour in the pool swimming laps? Probably not, because they become physically incapable of taking in enough nutrient at one time to actually do a decent workout.
That has got to be one of the most ignorant, uneducated statements I've ever heard.
I promised myself I would read all the way through this thread and read all the responses before I got on my soapbox, but wow...I'm not sure I made it past the second page. The sheer volume of unsupported, anecdotal, complete BS being spouted here just blows me away. The misinformation, it burns!
Just for the record, yes, a WLS patient can do an hour in the pool swimming laps. A WLS patient can also lift heavy, run several miles a day, dance for hours, or go on a full day hike. Or maybe it's just THIS weight loss patient, because you know what? Someone just apparently forgot to give me that memo that let me know I'd be an incapacitated, frail nothing barely capable of holding up my head. If a post-op patient isn't taking in enough nutrients to sustain a workout, someone's doctor isn't doing his/her job, and neither is the patient. I see my surgeon every three months for a full blood profile that ensures my body is still maintaining and holding onto everything it needs to survive...scratch that, not just survive, thrive. I'm far healthier and stronger now than I've ever been in my entire adult life, not JUST thanks to this surgery, but in large part thanks to the lifestyle changes I was taught to make while preparing for it. I'm willing to concede that it's possible that I could have made those changes without the surgery, but you know, people with broken limbs can walk without crutches, too, but you don't see too many people faulting them for not doing that.
Here's the deal: morbid obesity, whether you like to look at it this way or not (I know I sure didn't!), is a chronic medical condition. As such, it may not always, but often does, require extreme treatment measures. Why? Because IT'S NOT NORMAL. This is not your garden variety, average, every day "need to lose a couple of pounds". Some would argue, and I'm partially inclined to agree, that it's a psychological and emotional, as well as a physical, disorder. Ideally, treatment should include long term therapeutic mental health support. If you're doing it right, and making a commitment to fully turn your life around, WLS is not an "easy way out", and it's damn sure not a quick fix. It's also not a guaranteed ticket to lifelong illness. It's simply what many people have intelligently stated here: a tool. A rather extreme tool, yes, but just like some can manage, say, diabetes, with little to no intervention, and some need constant monitoring, some people needing to lose extreme amounts of weight require more drastic measures. Is it over-prescribed? Probably, but so are blood pressure meds, pain pills, and a huge variety of steroids and antibiotics, yet no one faults the patient for those. The fact that some doctors overuse a remedy doesn't render it ineffective or invalid as a treatment option. My surgeon has a nearly year-long prequalification process, and believe me, I was more than thoroughly vetted before my surgery was even scheduled.
I think the key here lies in the patient playing advocate for him/herself, and taking the time and energy to fully research and understand the program before making this an option. If you can't do that, by no means do you have any business having surgery of any sort, honestly. But I really wish people would stop demonizing the surgery and its providers on the whole. We're not all cut from the same cloth. Everyone's mileage may vary.0 -
I have a lot of thoughts on WLS. More thoughts after reading through this tread, but I haven't seen many speak to the question. The question is why do people consider it cheating.
Here is the truth as I see it and I am probably right. People think that fat people should be punished. Even doctors they will suggest a 1200 calorie or lower diet in some cases. A lot of people have that mindset, that if you are obese you must be on a very strict VLC diet. Even though time and time again for millions of people this hasn't proven to be effective in fact most people on VLC diets do lose weight. However, when they quit the diet and most will the vast majority will, they start binging and their diets become worse than ever. And there is the notion that if a person is obese and wants to lose weight they must go through grueling amounts of exercise. They must not eat anything with sugar, fat, or even complex carbohydrates. If they aren't eating a salad and some lean meat they are cheating on their diets. If they don't run 5 miles a day they are lazy and not committed. We have all seen the sitcoms where a character has a weight issue and all they are allowed to eat on their diet is lettuce and it's played for laughs when they try to sneak eat a submarine sandwich or some other normal food item. VLC diets plus this workout til you drop attitude is I believe largely responsible for so many people failing to stick to a lifestyle change that will allow them to lose and maintain.
I have seen this attitude even here. People mocked for not cutting calories enough. People being disrespected for their food choices or the timing of their meals. People being told they must do cardio and lift heavy. There are a lot of issues people don't agree on here as far as what is healthy. And I think a lot of people even here really believe that in order to be effective a person has to be starving and dropping from exhaustion from over exercising.
Now that being said I think there are pros and cons to WLS and for me the cons outweigh the pros. But, YMMV.0 -
I can't believe some ppl think its the easy way out. WlS is one of the hardest things to do. Your life will nvr be the same again. You no longer enjoy food.... You will nvr again get to feel the satisfaction of talking a gulp of water when you're super thirsty. You can nvr have candy or sweets again....and if you do there are horrible consequences! I don't enjoy going to social gatherings anymore bc they always involve some sort of food that I can't eat and it makes me feel like an outsider. The surgery was painful and there was a long long recovery. I still have to excerisize.... I still have to manage what I eat....even more so bc now it's really important I get lots of protien. I have to do what everyone else is doing to lose weight plus the problems from the WLS! But there was no way I could've done it without it bc I was addicted. I would tell ppl that this is the harder road to take and if at all possible to try to do it the normal way.
Maybe you can see why some of us would think it's not a good idea?
Everyone can do whatever they want with their lives. But this^? I wouldn't recommend that kind of life to anyone.
...and again I say, mileages may vary. I was back at work within a week, so my recovery was nowhere even in the ballpark of "long". I can chug water like a champ, and I can still eat the occasional piece of candy or kid's birthday cake with no consequences, and have once or twice. I just choose not to do it all the time. I LOVE social gatherings even more than I ever did, because I'm a big attention *kitten* and I love getting compliments. I just plan my way around the food and decide ahead of time what I will eat, or whether I'll have something more fitting to my plan at home beforehand. Yes, it does require planning and dedication and modification, but so does any other long-term plan. I know far more post-op patients who live the lifestyle I'm living than the one described above. Please don't let the horror stories stand as the norm just because they stay fresher in the mind.0 -
I know people who have had the surgery, lost 100+ lbs.....and gain it alllll back....just saying
My mother, father, and sister all had this surgery and have successfully kept their weight off for 2-5 years. My sister and mother now run half marathons. All three do triathlons. Just saying.
I said I know people.... I did not say everyone.
You give your anecdotal evidence and I'll give mine.0 -
I know people who have had the surgery, lost 100+ lbs.....and gain it alllll back....just saying
My mother, father, and sister all had this surgery and have successfully kept their weight off for 2-5 years. My sister and mother now run half marathons. All three do triathlons. Just saying.
I said I know people.... I did not say everyone.
You give your anecdotal evidence and I'll give mine.
^^This. I know people who lost 100 lbs or more without surgery and gained it all back, too. So your point would be what, exactly?0 -
yummm
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This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.
I'm sorry your paying customers are so irritating to you by requesting a service that is offered by many other restaurants. Many establishments DO offer a smaller size meal and discounted rate to WLS patients.. Why should it irritate you if someone asks? Does it also irritate you when people ask for a senior discount? Now if they are DEMANDING special treatment, that might be cause for irritation, but really you are so easily annoyed that you can't handle an inquiry?
These are not polite customers asking if they can order off the the senior menu or kids menu. These are demanding customers that order the regular meal, then want it discounted because they can only eat a portion of it. I have never seen a menu with a WLS/Lap band section on it. Unless you have worked in food service, you have no idea how rude and demanding people can be.0 -
This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.
I'm sorry your paying customers are so irritating to you by requesting a service that is offered by many other restaurants. Many establishments DO offer a smaller size meal and discounted rate to WLS patients.. Why should it irritate you if someone asks? Does it also irritate you when people ask for a senior discount? Now if they are DEMANDING special treatment, that might be cause for irritation, but really you are so easily annoyed that you can't handle an inquiry?
These are not polite customers asking if they can order off the the senior menu or kids menu. These are demanding customers that order the regular meal, then want it discounted because they can only eat a portion of it. I have never seen a menu with a WLS/Lap band section on it. Unless you have worked in food service, you have no idea how rude and demanding people can be.
See, now this is one thing I don't like at all, either. There is no reason the restaurant should have to accommodate me to that degree. I totally get, and fully appreciate, offering more post-op friendly foods, and if smaller portions are offered, I definitely take advantage, but if not, it doesn't kill you to either split the meal with your dining companion, order an appetizer, or take home leftovers. There's no need to get all huffy about it. My surgeon provided me with a card to give servers, explaining that I've had stomach surgery and cannot eat a full portion, and requesting that they allow me to purchase from the kids' menu or get half portions, but I've never used it and no longer even carry it.0 -
Just found out someone I know is having weight loss surgery next month.
For a while now it's been "this time I'm gonna do it!"....1 week later " I need to focus on my family, can't focus on losing weight right now" over, and over, and over....
And everytime it's a different excuse.
She just announced she is having the surgery and I will not be congratulating her.
Im a fat lazy person, 2 months ago I was even worse. Id find any excuse to stay fat.
But I just had to get in the right mind set and now I'm on my way! I eat right and exercise daily and the pounds are coming off.
Am I jealous? Maybe? But i've seen SO many people successfully lose weight since being on MFP without the help of weight loss surgery.
/vent0 -
I can't believe some ppl think its the easy way out. WlS is one of the hardest things to do. Your life will nvr be the same again. You no longer enjoy food.... You will nvr again get to feel the satisfaction of talking a gulp of water when you're super thirsty. You can nvr have candy or sweets again....and if you do there are horrible consequences! I don't enjoy going to social gatherings anymore bc they always involve some sort of food that I can't eat and it makes me feel like an outsider. The surgery was painful and there was a long long recovery. I still have to excerisize.... I still have to manage what I eat....even more so bc now it's really important I get lots of protien. I have to do what everyone else is doing to lose weight plus the problems from the WLS! But there was no way I could've done it without it bc I was addicted. I would tell ppl that this is the harder road to take and if at all possible to try to do it the normal way.
Maybe you can see why some of us would think it's not a good idea?
Everyone can do whatever they want with their lives. But this^? I wouldn't recommend that kind of life to anyone.
...and again I say, mileages may vary. I was back at work within a week, so my recovery was nowhere even in the ballpark of "long". I can chug water like a champ, and I can still eat the occasional piece of candy or kid's birthday cake with no consequences, and have once or twice. I just choose not to do it all the time. I LOVE social gatherings even more than I ever did, because I'm a big attention *kitten* and I love getting compliments. I just plan my way around the food and decide ahead of time what I will eat, or whether I'll have something more fitting to my plan at home beforehand. Yes, it does require planning and dedication and modification, but so does any other long-term plan. I know far more post-op patients who live the lifestyle I'm living than the one described above. Please don't let the horror stories stand as the norm just because they stay fresher in the mind.
I am only two months post-op for my VSG surgery. I eat around 1,050 calories a day and chug water easily. My lunch today consisted of a 2 ounce piece of turkey breast, 1 ounce of avocado and a piece of cheese. it's small, but enough to be psychologically satisfying. I still enjoy food immensely, I just enjoy it in smaller quantities and make sure that it's of good nutritive value as well as TASTY... and yes, TASTY is still very important to me!!! As far as sweets goes, I've been avoiding them for the most part but I enjoyed two peanut butter cups about a month ago and those went down nicely without any complaints from my digestive system which is not surprising since VSG patients don't have any malabsorption so don't typically experience any of those nasty side effects from any foods. My recovery was way easier than my gallbladder removal was years ago. I had very little pain, and only took pain medication for one day post op. I was up and walking around within hours of the surgery. My experience has been excellent with the surgery. I've lost 24 pounds in two months.. around 3 pounds a week which isn't a ridiculous amount for a person of my size who is also exercising daily. (the other 70 pounds on my ticker I lost before surgery)0 -
I can't believe some ppl think its the easy way out. WlS is one of the hardest things to do. Your life will nvr be the same again. You no longer enjoy food.... You will nvr again get to feel the satisfaction of talking a gulp of water when you're super thirsty. You can nvr have candy or sweets again....and if you do there are horrible consequences! I don't enjoy going to social gatherings anymore bc they always involve some sort of food that I can't eat and it makes me feel like an outsider. The surgery was painful and there was a long long recovery. I still have to excerisize.... I still have to manage what I eat....even more so bc now it's really important I get lots of protien. I have to do what everyone else is doing to lose weight plus the problems from the WLS! But there was no way I could've done it without it bc I was addicted. I would tell ppl that this is the harder road to take and if at all possible to try to do it the normal way.
Maybe you can see why some of us would think it's not a good idea?
Everyone can do whatever they want with their lives. But this^? I wouldn't recommend that kind of life to anyone.
...and again I say, mileages may vary. I was back at work within a week, so my recovery was nowhere even in the ballpark of "long". I can chug water like a champ, and I can still eat the occasional piece of candy or kid's birthday cake with no consequences, and have once or twice. I just choose not to do it all the time. I LOVE social gatherings even more than I ever did, because I'm a big attention *kitten* and I love getting compliments. I just plan my way around the food and decide ahead of time what I will eat, or whether I'll have something more fitting to my plan at home beforehand. Yes, it does require planning and dedication and modification, but so does any other long-term plan. I know far more post-op patients who live the lifestyle I'm living than the one described above. Please don't let the horror stories stand as the norm just because they stay fresher in the mind.
I am only two months post-op for my VSG surgery. I eat around 1,050 calories a day and chug water easily. My lunch today consisted of a 2 ounce piece of turkey breast, 1 ounce of avocado and a piece of cheese. it's small, but enough to be psychologically satisfying. I still enjoy food immensely, I just enjoy it in smaller quantities and make sure that it's of good nutritive value as well as TASTY... and yes, TASTY is still very important to me!!! As far as sweets goes, I've been avoiding them for the most part but I enjoyed two peanut butter cups about a month ago and those went down nicely without any complaints from my digestive system which is not surprising since VSG patients don't have any malabsorption so don't typically experience any of those nasty side effects from any foods. My recovery was way easier than my gallbladder removal was years ago. I had very little pain, and only took pain medication for one day post op. I was up and walking around within hours of the surgery. My experience has been excellent with the surgery. I've lost 24 pounds in two months.. around 3 pounds a week which isn't a ridiculous amount for a person of my size who is also exercising daily. (the other 70 pounds on my ticker I lost before surgery)
I don't want to pry, but if you lost 70 lbs before surgery why did you proceed? Seems like you were doing just fine on your own and now you have the side effects of the surgery to deal with.0 -
People consider it cheating because they want to nail you to the cross. You're fat and you deserve to suffer, be shamed and feel like crap, after all you are worthless don't you know?. Sarcasm aside, Ignore the haters and keep on keeping on. People are jerks and it's YOUR health so you do what will get YOU healthy. Period.0
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I am not going to say its the easy way out or youre not working as hard as i am or any of that other nonsense. it is just a different means to an end.
i will say this though if its any kind of judgement, it doesnt get to the root of the problem as to why you had to have it. are you a binge eater? emotional eater? do you make poor choices in your eating habits?
i know people who have done this and after a while went back to their same bad choices, and while they havent ballooned up like they were, they have packed on some pounds
I totally agree. I don't consider WLS "cheating" it is a tool and it still takes hard work to lose and keep off weight. Personally, I would be terrified to surgically alter my body in that way because the complications are too severe. However, even though I'm overweight, I'm able to lose weight by eating well and exercising, and I don't need to even consider WLS.
I have a friend who has a band - there is no way in hell I would ever do that. When she gets an adjustment, she has to be on a liquid diet for more than a week sometimes. I do not want to ever live that way.0 -
I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.
Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.
Erm... you do know that WLS is only a catalyst right? YOu know that even after the surgery they have to work hard, and eat properly or they can undo everything they have done right?
I have a friend who has had WLS, she has had amazing results, but I also know she works her *kitten* off (literally) to maintain what she has lost and she worked her *kitten* off to lose that weight. WLS is NOT a fix, it is a tool, one that if used properly is a wonderful tool, they still have to maintain a healthy lifestyle which includes a good diet and exercise to get to the goal they want.
OP ignore everyone and their remarks, do what YOU need to do for YOU and no one else.
ABSOLUTELY THIS!!!
I had surgery a month ago tomorrow and I am still working just as hard now as I did before the surgery to lose weight and gain strength. Don't listen to those people who haven't gone thru it, they have no idea what they are talking about if they think its cheating or the easy way to lose weight. Its not.
Yes, you do see some great results at first, but the you will hit plateaus just like everyone else and if your not following all the rules laid out for you you will gain it back. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I have no doubt that there are people out there that joined a gym and worked their *kitten* off to get in shape and then let it all fall apart because they got complacent so they have no room to judge people that used surgery as a tool. Just like a gym or a food scale, surgery is a TOOL.
You people need to get off your high-horses if you haven't been thru it and be supporting because I guarantee people that have had the surgery have a lot more challenges than you do. People that judge someone else's choice, shouldn't, because I bet there is something you do in your life that others would be appalled at.
OP do what you need to do and remember to just surround yourself with people that understand your situation and support you and get rid of the ones that dont.0 -
Because it is cheating! Well, in my mind it's cheating but for several reasons.
1.) Because many of the people wanting it are just looking for an easy way out and often won't be considered for it because they haven't tried dieting first. They won't have considered the other options or risks to their health, it's a quick fix to them or at least they think it is without actually considering the implications.
2.) I know I can do it on my own, I have lost 5 st / 70 lbs before so I can do it again, I just need to get my head in the right mind set to do it. Because I know I can do it then it is in my mind cheating if I just decided on surgery. It has been recommended to me by an orthopedic surgeon who says I have arthritis in my knees but my GP said it's not for me because she believes I can do it on my own. I showed I lost 5 st so I can do it again and lose the rest.
3.) I'm far too scared to have it done because I'm afraid something will go wrong and I'm envious of those who have had it and lost a lot of weight so if I tell myself they have cheated I don't feel so jealous. ;-)
In your mind it isn't cheating because you have exhausted all other options and this is not the only one you have left. You have considered all the risks and are prepared to put all the work in after the surgery that is required. you are ready mentally to go through this. You need support and you need to make it clear you have thought it all through and your not changing your mind so either they support you or leave you alone.
What you have to remember is everyone is different, you have little choice, this is now the only answer for you. If your friends or family don't understand or support you then to hell with them! You have to consider you, other peoples feeling are not important in something such as this because it's life changing for you not them.
As long as you are ready, it is right for you and in your mind there is no other option then go for it. When you need support and can't get it from friends or family, then you know you have us to help you through it. ;-)0 -
I don't think there is anything about weight-loss surgery that is easy.
But I do think there is something to be said for learning how to make necessary lifestyle changes. Surgery doesn't change your habits. I know MANY people who have had one form of bariatric surgery or another, and I can only say that ONE of them has kept the weight off. Some of the others tried for a while, but eventually they all thought of their smaller stomachs as a safety net, and I firmly believe it is because they never learned how to eat properly or maintain an active lifestyle before they went under the knife. They had surgery, the weight fell off with little effort on their part, and they weren't equipped to maintain that loss.
I'm not trying to discourage you. You may very well have a great handle on your diet and exercise habits. But to be perfectly honest, if you are looking for reassurance or confirmation that you're doing the right thing from strangers on the Internet, I'm not sure you're in the right mental state for a surgery of this magnitude.
^^^This^^^ I've seen it also. Make sure if you have the surgery that you realize that it is a tool. You still have to figure out how to change your lifestyle. Good luck to you!0 -
I was attempting to read all of the comments but I got to the point where I just couldn't read anymore. I thought that MFP was a place for support and encouragement. If the OP choses to undergo surgery to assist her in her weightloss journey...who cares? Why should anyone bash her or look down on her...would you rather her not do anything at all about her weight and continue to be unhealthy?
To the OP...congratulations to you on your decision for a healthy life. The journey ahead of you will be a difficult one but as long as you have your mind made up then you can most definitely do it. Best of luck to you and please don't let the negative comments bring you down. Keep your head up and you will succeed!!!0 -
First off, good for you! You asked experts to give their opinions, you tried conservative approaches and then you've looked at something that may help change your lifestyle and create a healtier you. There's a lot that goes into creating the mental change as well as the physicial change. You seem to be in a good place to do it. It's your body. How you run it is ultimately your call.0
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I wouldn't say it's cheating, but I will say that i have had a few people in my life that lost significant amounts of weight along with me and pretended that they knew what I have gone through on this journey only to reveal later that they had had surgery. I don't know why, because it really is not my problem or my business, but it kinda made me mad.
If you are gonna do it, OWN IT, that's all I'm saying.0 -
I've only thought of it as cheating in the sense that you are cheating yourself of the ability to properly take care of yourself and proactively work to change the things that made you unhealthy. I personally know at least 5 people who have had surgery and all but one of them gained the weight back or other wise look malnourished because they don't take care of themselves. Gastric bypass robs your body of much needed nutrients and doesn't allow you to absorb everything you need from food. It doesn't teach you how to eat. You CAN lose the weight on your own. It will take longer but at least you will be on the right track to learn how to eat healthy and live a long life. That surgery is just plan scary and the end result is seldom what people expect. That is not to discourage you from doing what you feel you need to do. I've never thought of the people I know who had the surgery negatively. More than anything, I saw that it made them mentally and physically sicker than they were to begin with.
Edit to note that I have come across people who had the surgery and talk negatively about others who are still obese. That is the only time I've ever thought of it as cheating.0 -
People consider it cheating because they are douche-bags generally. They think they know what is best for everyone and lack the basic understanding that every body is different and has unique traits that need to be considered when weight loss is needed.
I would have done it but could not get approved. If you are ready and understand that surgery is a step in the process then who gives a crap what anyone else thinks?
For me, the loss is the loss--I don't give a crap how I lose as long as I adjust my plan going forward to ensure I do not regain the weight.0 -
I am compelled to comment (and perhaps rant a bit). I am personally acquainted with at least 5 people who've had gastric bypass surgery and one who had the lap band one. Some of the GBS people did great at first. One kept it up because she drastically changed her eating habits and became an avid cyclist. Most of them gained the weight back, some all of it plus more. One, after doing the 2 week pre-surgery regimen of exercise and eating healthily, lost enough weight that she no longer qualified weight-wise for the surgery, but they still did it. All these people look like they've aged at least 10 years, some more. The one who had the LBS changed nothing and joked about how she refuses to give up the food she loves.
The one that pains me is one of my dearest friend. She, like me, has struggled with her weight for many years. I was not surprised that she decided to have the GBS. She insisted "I've tried everything and nothing works". That's not true. She did Weight Watchers for a while and was losing, but stopped. She tried South Beach and lost quite a bit then stopped. It wasn't the programs that didn't work; it was her not working them. And, that's where I think the "it's a cop-out" mentality is derived from for me. I am NOT judging; I struggle from the same behavior. Initially when she was losing she was excited to buy a whole new wardrobe, etc. She had many complications afterward due in part to her refusal to drink water and exercise. She has aged at least 15 years - sunken eyes, dark circles beneath eyes, bones sticking out, hair thinning, etc.. Her personality has changed drastically. She used to be fun-loving and a joy to be around. Now, about 2 years after her surgery, she's miserable and depressed often. How she eats is horribly unhealthy. She orders food that I can't believe she thinks her stomach will tolerate, takes one bite, gets sick, then eats something else unhealthy. Last time she ordered potato skins and after getting sick ate an entire piece of cheesecake. I can no longer go out to eat with her because it's hard to witness this behavior and, for selfish reasons, her unhealthy eating affects my ability to stay on program.
The emotional/mental preparedness is extremely important. For me personally, I know how much I struggle to follow a healthy eating and physical activity program; I don't think it would be any easier if I had the surgery. The program I'm following now through a local hospital includes behavioral counseling and changing behavior I've had for many years is so-o-o difficult!
All of that said, your reasons for having the surgery are yours, no one else's. As with all opinions, there's always a contradicting one. Best success to you with whatever decision you make!0 -
This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.
Restaurant portions are so huge these days that even people that haven't had surgery *shouldn't* be able to eat a full meal. I never had the surgery, and I never request/demand a discount because I can't eat my full meal.
And... I'm sorry, but I do consider it cheating to get surgery. I'm sorry, but I do.0 -
This is always going to be a touchy subject for a number of people. Full disclosure: I had the lap-band in December 2011. I'm 5'8" and 35 years old. At my highest weight I was 270. I am now about 15 pounds away from my goal of losing 108 pounds. Every day, and I mean EVERY DAY, I question whether or not I regret my decision to do it.
There are a number of well-informed comments on this thread and just as many well-meaning (albeit largely anecdotal) comments from someone who knows someone. Then there are a handful who I would argue are not well-informed but have a strong opinion one way or the other. And that's OK. I don't take offense at any of these comments, partly because of my own inner struggle with my choice.
When I first made the decision to do it, I successfully lost 30 pounds on the pre-op diet, which consisted of mostly protein shakes and one lean meal per day. Not surprising that I lost weight, but not a sustainable diet for a lifetime. If I’m being honest with myself, I know I stuck to that diet like glue because I was terrified that my enlarged liver would prevent me from being able to have the surgery done safely. And let me pause there…because surgery of any kind should never be undertaken lightly. It is painful, even when done as a laparoscopic procedure. It also has risks – very serious risks that need to be weighed by the person undergoing the procedure. Ideally, this person is also being supported by wise counsel from their physician as well as trusted family/friends who are genuinely concerned about their well-being.
To the OP’s question: why do people consider it cheating? Because ultimately, that is a subjective assessment that needs to be evaluated by each individual. There is no definitive answer. Do I think it’s cheating? No, I do not. It is not a magic wand. It requires sustained hard work, both physically and mentally. As many others have said, it is merely a tool. It is also only one of several tools that you will need to learn to wield properly in order to be successful. For me, at its most basic level, my lap band effectively utilizes operant conditioning to force me to change my behavior. Am I capable of eating more than I should? Yes. Do I feel good when I do that? Most certainly not. This becomes a very powerful incentive to change your behavior quickly. If done properly, you learn to adjust your lifestyle to your new surgically-imposed restrictions, which in time becomes the new standard for your behavior and your decisions.
As I noted, the surgery is only one of several tools you will need. Like anyone attempting to lose weight, you have to make wise choices about your food intake and you simply have to exercise if you wish to sustain your new, healthy lifestyle. I log every calorie and I work out regularly with a personal trainer. And to put it bluntly, you need to get your mind right. That means different things to different people, but to me it meant never giving up…no matter how difficult, no matter how frustrating, no matter how slowly the process may seem to be going at times. And ultimately, that was one of the most powerful things for me. I had made the choice to go down this path, drastic as it was, and I simply could not allow myself to fail.
As of this writing, I still have the band but I have had all the fluid removed, so it provides zero restriction. I am determined to go the rest of the way on my own. I often wish I had opted to make those same healthy lifestyle changes without the aid of the lap-band. I will never know if I would have been as successful over the course of the last year and a half, but I wish I would have tried. And I mean REALLY tried.
OP, I wish you all the best in your decision. Feel free to message me if you would like more information.0 -
All I have to say is it pisses me off when people judge other people's actions, intentions, etc. without walking a mile in their shoes. This is YOUR decision. YOURS! PERIOD! You and your doctor know what's best for your health! For all of those people who have NO earthly idea what's it's like to try to lose weight when you have certain illnesses it really isn't fair to criticize. From your post I believe you understand what it takes to be healthy. It appears that this is just a part of the journey to get there. Even if it wasn't it's not my business. I applaud you for trying to do something about your weight in order to get healthy.
My advice to you is remember that opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one and they usually all stink. Realize that criticism is going to be a part of this process. Accept that and don't let anyone make you feel bad about what you're doing. When people feel the need to give you their unsolicited advice tell them you didn't ask them and, with all due respect, you don't care what they think. You don't have to be rude. Just let them know their opinion about your health is not needed.
I may catch heat for my response but the good thing is I DON'T CARE! :-)
Good luck to you!0 -
To the OP:
What I'm not understanding is if you are having problems losing weight with your PCOS now, how is it going to change when you have the surgery? Will something in your hormones change that will make you more likely to lose weight, purely due to the surgery? It would seem logical that the weight may come back on (and you would still have extra trouble getting it off) if you still have PCOS, as you said PCOS is the cause for your weight problems.0 -
A co-worker of mine was offered by our state to have the surgery for FREE as part of a study. She is probably about 350 lbs. She rejected the offer because she, and I quote, "did not want to stop eating sugar." She is also a Type 2 Diabetic. People like this will not do well with WLS. But there are many others who have had long-term success with it. My mother had the surgery about 9 years ago, lost 100 lbs, and has kept all of it off. I personally would never do it, but to each their own.0
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