You know you're fat when...

you can't do a yoga pose.. not because your too "tight" but because the rolls of fat literally block you from bending any more.

Haha! I had this problem just the other night. I keep at it, though. Eventually . . .

1.) When your underwear in the laundry is the first thing you grab and hide right away so your hubby won't see them and your kids won't pretend they are parachutes.

2.) When even your "comfortable" position in bed leaves you gasping from pain in the morning.

3.) When your child challenges your hubby, saying he can't pick up mommy... then he insists on trying, but can only get you about an inch off the ground.

4.) When you decide to buy a bike to ride, make sure the tires are properly filled etc, but when you get on, it looks like you have 2 flat tires.

5.) When you finally agree to try riding on the back of your hubby's motorcycle and it "bottoms out". Then he blames the shocks while you both know it's that you are just way too heavy.

6.) When you chaff where your boobs and stomach touch.

7.) When your child innocently asks in a loud voice in public "Mommy, do you wish you weren't so big?"... and everyone stops and stares, chuckles quietly, or suddenly walks away very quickly.

8.) When the one thing keeping you from totally thinking you are over the edge is that your knees haven't disappeared completely like your ex's wife's have.

9.) When you can't walk for more than 5 minutes unless you are hunched over a cart, so even if you are only getting a couple things, you get a cart instead of a basket.

10.) When you break the weld on an office chair said to be able to withstand 400lbs...

11.) When you avoid even trying to do a jumping jack for fear of everything in the living room rattling/falling off shelves.

12.) The first time you turn on Wii Fit Plus and do the body test, and your little avatar goes from short and slightly plump to looking like a huge ball with feet and hands while the system makes a whammy sound and the bar that measures just how you rate on the bmi chart goes all the way up and tells you a number off the chart

I had to throw a few out there:
1. When you realize that you not only avoid glancing at reflective surfaces, you've taken the mirror out of your bedroom.
2. When you can't make eyecontact with your own reflection, let alone anyone to whom you might be speaking.
3. You avoid leaving the house to go do social activities because you feel judged.
4. Your most recent ex blamed his inability to... um... you know... salute... because the lights were on and he caught a glimpse of your body and he eventually breaks up with you because he "just isn't attracted to you."
5. When you can balance a plate on your belly while you're eating.
6. When you avoid going to lunch with coworkers simply because you're embarrassed that the walk out to the car will have you breathing heavily.
7. When you avoid going clothes shopping and wear the same outfits every week to work because nothing fits right.
8. When your 72 year old father can out work you while spending a day gardening.
9. When you've decided to quit dating by using the excuse "I'd just rather focus on my writing," when in actuality you lack the confidence in yourself and think that because you're larger, nobody will ever love you.
10. When your facebook has more pictures of your dog than it has of you... and you go through and untag yourself in all of the photos friends have posted simply because every single one of them is unflattering.
11. When you join MyFitnessPal to help you on your lifestyle change with an overall goal of losing weight like most other users but you refuse to post a picture of yourself because you're fat and you don't want other people to think so too.

ALL of the above! Especially the fat thighs rubbing together and wearing your trousers out in that place only!

I am taking this list as motivation as we have all been there but we are all on mfp doing something about it.

Will add in:

When are the twins due?

When you have your shattered ankle pinned together and they don't have a wheelchair big enough for you to fit into in the whole hospital, so you can go home (this....this was the final straw!!). My mum managed to find one for hire and I started mfp the week after I got home. Sitting in the hired wheelchair, starting my life again!

1. All your pants have "shrunk".

2. Your Mom wants to take you clothes shopping in the plus size section.

3. Your legs and feet ache after walking for a while.

4. You can no longer cross your legs comfortably.

5. Your heart feels like it's going to explode after a walking up a flight of stairs.

6. You can no longer get a good night's rest.

7. Shopping for a new outfit throws you into a state of depression.

8. You cringe at the idea of a night on the town.

9. You are blaming allergies for shortness of breath.

10. High heels are a thing of the past.

I'm usually making excuses for these things. It's time to face facts. I'm fat. Instead of getting sad about this, I'm gonna turn it around. Hey the reality is that if I lose 10 lbs, half this list disappears! That's motivation enough for me.

I think I have a girl crush on you now.

I'll add:

You get heartburn at night when you never did before.

The first thing to wear out in your jeans are the thigh seams.

You look at some of your old cloths and reminisce about how cute you used to look in them.

You can't believe that's you in your pictures.

You get stripped shirts when it's hot from your fat roll's sweat (I hated this one most of all).

You're still wearing maternity clothes on you child's second birthday.

You sit down in the bathtub and suddenly realize your hips touch the sides. When did THAT happen?????

When I was in college, my friend had told me about this group of boys her boyfriend hung around with that, when they saw an overweight person anywhere, they would "call" them, or "get dibs" on them by yelling "MY TEAM!" It was a stupid, immature game they got a huge kick out of. When she told me, I couldn't believe how rude they were. Months later, I came home from college, and went to a party at her house. I walked in, and after greeting my friend, the next thing I hear is one of those guys yell "MY TEAM!" And all the others shouting out because they didn't "call" me first. They had no idea I knew what this meant. I was SO embarrassed, I just wanted to leave, but I pretended I didn't hear it, and drank away my feelings

WOW, congrats on your weight loss!! It's not as easy as putting it on -- to get it off -- but I have enjoyed the challenge. Keep the great work up!

LOVE it! Mine is when you have trouble getting up off the floor! Oh, and don't forget how uncomfortable the airline seats are!!!

Your hip line rises.....and your pants can't seem to keep up.