Why do people consider weight loss surgery cheating?

I had gastric sleeve surgery in June 2012. I tell everyone I had the surgery mainly because I lost weight so quickly I didn't want people I hadn't seen for a while to think I had been ill. Also I am not ashamed of it at all.

I lost 3 and a half stone before the op because I wanted to be as light as I could be on the operating table. I have never been a healthy weight in my life and yes I had indeed tried virtually everything except diet pills because I have bowel issues. I know there is no way I could have done this by myself. I only lost weight when I ate 1,000 - 1,200 calories a day. This was found by follwing doctors instrucitons and starting at 1,500 and reducing by 100 cals every 2 weeks until I started losing.

Bad eating habits were creeping back in as in eating a packet of crisps but my pre op diet started at the right time for me.

My weight loss means I now look normal. That is all I wanted to be....normal. Now I can go to the gym 3 times a week, walk 5 miles a day etc etc.....I love my fitbit!! I could not do this at 5ft 3 and 23 stone. Just walking caused me pain.

I still want to eat the wrong things. The difference is that now I can't eat much of them, I log them here so I can see the effects of what I am doing and I stop and think about it before I eat again....I also drink a lot more liquids now. I am also going to counselling.

I have no doubt that the surgery saved my life....now with over 10 stone gone it is now up to me. I will make sure that the money that has been spent on me will not be wasted. If I regain more than a stone then off to the doctors I will go or I will join a weight management group, not for more surgery as there is no more I can have but to have a good talking to like I can get on here.

Now you can all say that you know someone who has done well so far with surgery and hopefully in 2,3,4,5 years time I will still be here saying i have done well as I really hope that people here just wish people well even if they do not agree with the way they have lost the weight. I almost feel that I need to prove some of the people on here wrong which is really sad as outside of here I have only had support from people who wish me well and want me to succeed because they care about me and want me to be happy. I think I will continue to not want to let those who have supported me and people like me down as that is a much more positive reason to want to succeed.

Fat people have been considered lazy and greedy for years. Now that is being added to those who have had surgery and are working hard to make it work for them. I just find that a little sad.

To the OP:

What I'm not understanding is if you are having problems losing weight with your PCOS now, how is it going to change when you have the surgery? Will something in your hormones change that will make you more likely to lose weight, purely due to the surgery? It would seem logical that the weight may come back on (and you would still have extra trouble getting it off) if you still have PCOS, as you said PCOS is the cause for your weight problems.

She will be eating a substantial less amount of calories = weightloss.

Although it should be said that I don't really know much about PCOS so my above comment might be pointless.

I don't think it's cheating. However I do think it's pointless if after the surgery you return to your old ways and expect to keep it off. It's not going to happen. Unless you got some sort of condition I would just do it the natural way through diet and exercise.

Could a WLS patient do an hour in the pool swimming laps? Probably not, because they become physically incapable of taking in enough nutrient at one time to actually do a decent workout.

I will let my very good friend who had successful WLS three years ago, followed ALL the recommendations given to her by her doctor, has lost over 150 pounds and kept the weight off, AND runs half marathons know that she's obviously physically incapable of doing that. Oh yeah...her running coach, who also had WLS a number of years ago, has successfully completed at least a dozen marathons and (to date) two Ironman competitions. Guess he shouldn't be doing that, eh?

/Facepalm.

A post-WLS patient should given a lot of guidance by their surgeon (if it's a good one) on how to intake the proper nutrients and balance that with activity. There are also support groups for post-WLS folks.

OP, it's a totally individual decision between you, your doctor, and your family. I wish you the best and hope that whatever you do, it is successful and you feel healthier.

Cheating is a rough word... I did it the calories in/calories out way. But then some people would tell you that MY way was cheating since I still ate processed foods like pizza and chicken fingers, just in smaller portions. Eventually I started eating healthier whole foods when I saw the benefits to my hair, skin and body but I lost 50 pounds eating LESS pizza and LESS fried foods.

I just think that people who say "I've tried everything" haven't really... I used to say the same thing. Then I really got into weighing/portion control/counting and exercising hard and it fell right off, seriously. If you've worked really hard and done every little thing you're supposed to with no shortcuts and it still isn't working... then maybe it's a good step? I just know someone who died from this. It's serious stuff. I would think diet would be a good way to control sugars, etc. since that is what causes the weight gain with PCOS. I was an APPLE to start with lots of belly fat and a round body. Not anymore.

It's a journey. I say whatever gets you going is great, just make sure you are continually looking to improve your habits! My friends with gastric never really addressed their underlying food issues and most of them gained it back. It's not always sustainable. So good for you, but be sure you have a good relationship with food before that surgery! Best of luck!!!

Fair enough question. I wanted an appetite to match my metabolism. I worked with a dietician for around a year and I could NOT HANDLE eating at a deficit enough to lose or even maintain over the long term. I am metabolically challenged. I also had perversely enough a longer than normal stomach as confirmed by my surgeon... So extra large stomach.. extra small metabolism PLUS I LOVE LOVE LOVE food it just took SO MUCH of it to satisfy me.. not even to make me feel "full" but just to reach the point of satiety. Now, I aint gonna lie.. as much as this fatty actually enjoys really healthy food options, I also love the junk and like everyone, I have to exercise will power, or these things find their way down my throat.. It's absolutely AMAZING how much easier it is to say "no" when you're not also battling almost constant hunger! If I wasn't willing or able to exercise willpower then my surgery would be for nothing since if I ate the wrong things.. I could easily consume thousands of calories per day... but if I eat the right things... Regular normal good quality foods (I choose low carb, and higher fat and 80 grams of protein a day) and I'm satisfied after a small meal and not feeling the need to eat again for many hours. I've done a lot of work to make sure my head is in the right place before doing this surgery. I addressed any issues with emotional eating, I stopped eating wheat and STUCK TO a wheat free diet (I'm intolerant to wheat but used to eat it anyway because I felt like I HAD to). Even with all these steps that I took to address my weight problem, I still kept coming back to the HUNGER and I had this surgery to address that!

Fortunately I don't have any side effects to deal with. I don't have any digestive issues, I can tolerate any food.To be clear, I did not have RNY gastric bypass. I had VSG-Vertical sleeve gastrectomy.. which is basically just reducing the size of your stomach but your intestines remain untouched so there is no malabsorption of nutrients or calories and no "dumping" when eating sugar. My body digests food in the same way it always has.. just with a smaller stomach! Some people need the RNY, but I felt that I could make it work with just the VSG.

So I hope this answers your question. I chose the surgery because I simply could not face the rest of my life having to feel deprived and hungry all the time.. Now with the surgery, I can maintain an appropriate calorie intake for my body and feel satisfied with that calorie amount.

I could have written this same post. For me, the surgery was about controlling my hunger. I would lose weight but I was always sooo hungry. Eventually I would just give in & eat until I was not hungry anymore. Then I would gain the weight back. Maybe I produce more ghrelin than other people--I don't know. Even after my surgery (also had a VSG)--that same weekend, I was still hungry. The difference is that now I can eat the small portions that everyone is supposed to eat & actually be satisfied. If that means I have "cheated" because I am no longer suffering enough for everyone else, then so be it. How many years do you have to be hungry before you are considered to have paid your dues? I spent my whole life waiting for my next meal because I was never satisfied after I ate. Now I can make better choices about my food because I'm not driven by constant hunger. Does that mean I don't have enough "will power" & everyone can look down on me? Go for it. I was not willing to spend the next several years struggling to lose the weight the "right" way that everyone talks about while starving & having my health & quality of life continue to deteriorate. I think if people cannot recognize the hard work & struggle that a WLS patient goes through even if it is not the same hard work & struggle that they face, then there is nothing more to be said to them. So many people complain about WLS patients not telling others about their surgery, but the negative attitude & the "you cheated" type comments make it pretty certain that many won't. I tell anyone who asks. I want everyone to know what a life saver the surgery was for me & I would encourage anyone who is willing to do the work to do it.

As the sister of TJ, I saw first hand everything she has gone through and it has not been an easy ride. Yes part of me is very jealous because her weight is coming off so fast right now, but she is working her *kitten* off for it. I don't think others really think of it as cheating if they were honest I bet they are more jealous then anything. Honestly after being with her during her surgery I am not sure I could do and I damn sure know I couldn't afford it at this time. Besides I smoke and am not ready to give that up. Op go for it and anyone that truly cares about you will be proud of you just like I am proud of TJ. She just started this journey and is doing great so far. I'm still jealous but very happy for her.

As the sister of TJ, I saw first hand everything she has gone through and it has not been an easy ride. Yes part of me is very jealous because her weight is coming off so fast right now, but she is working her *kitten* off for it. I don't think others really think of it as cheating if they were honest I bet they are more jealous then anything. Honestly after being with her during her surgery I am not sure I could do and I damn sure know I couldn't afford it at this time. Besides I smoke and am not ready to give that up. Op go for it and anyone that truly cares about you will be proud of you just like I am proud of TJ. She just started this journey and is doing great so far. I'm still jealous but very happy for her.Sorry this is on twice I didn't do it right the first time.

I don't think it is jealousy to think that using surgery as a substitute for willpower is not a great idea.

The only thing that surgery accomplishes is that it makes you EAT LESS. And the fact that people see it as impossible or too difficult without the surgery, that's what bothers me. That so many see it as a "last resort" and eating less on their own is just not an option. So yes, I know I will get jumped for this, but I do see people who want weight loss surgery to be extremely weak willed.

I"m not jealous. I have about 10lb more till my ultimate goal weight and I love enjoying a cheat meal once in a while. A piece of wonderful cream pastry or a large beer. And freedom of lifestyle that you still get to enjoy when you get there on your own, healthy, without unnecessarily altering your body.

I am scheduled to have a gastric bypass on May 24th. I have family and friends making snide comments about my decision. And I keep reading online posts about how weight loss surgery is so horrible because it is cheating.

I have followed a doctor supervised diet and exercise regiment for over a year. My PCOS is making it impossible for me to lose weight. I've seen and endocrinologist and several other specialists and all are agreeing that it is a good idea if I have weight loss surgery because it will change my hormone composition.

I see weight loss surgery as a tool...you still have to follow a strict diet and exercise program if you are going to be healthy. You have to be extremely diligent in taking your supplements and protein intake. You can never eat sugary or fatty foods again. It's not as easy as people think.

Sorry about the rant....I guess I'm just in need of some support or validation of my new journey.

I have an honest question. How does making your stomach smaller change your hormones? Shouldn't you have hormone therapy to change your hormone levels?

I don't know if this has been answered yet, but I too have issues with hormones which made it very very difficult for my to lose weight. I am not blaming it 100% on them, but it did have a huge impact. After having countless appointments with everyone ranging from GYN, Prime Care, surgeons, etc, etc, it was determined that weightloss would help my hormone levels. I don't know the exact chemical reactions that make this true, but the occular headaches from the hormones have lessened in severity as well as some other hormone-related issuses I have suffered from. Losing weight has a huge impact on hormones

This is what irritates me. I worked for many years as a server in a restaurant. You would not believe how many people say......I have had WLS or I have a lapband and I can not eat as much. I do not want to pay for a whole meal since I can't eat it all, will you discount the meal? Ummm NO! That gets me every time. I have 3 friends who have had weight loss surgery, and 1 that had lap band. They have all gained their weight back. I think if you lose weight, either by surgery, or diet and exercise, you will gain it back if your mind set has not been changed. The bottom line is if you can lose weight, it will improve your health. If you will keep it off, is completely up to you.

I'm sorry your paying customers are so irritating to you by requesting a service that is offered by many other restaurants. Many establishments DO offer a smaller size meal and discounted rate to WLS patients.. Why should it irritate you if someone asks? Does it also irritate you when people ask for a senior discount? Now if they are DEMANDING special treatment, that might be cause for irritation, but really you are so easily annoyed that you can't handle an inquiry?

These are not polite customers asking if they can order off the the senior menu or kids menu. These are demanding customers that order the regular meal, then want it discounted because they can only eat a portion of it. I have never seen a menu with a WLS/Lap band section on it. Unless you have worked in food service, you have no idea how rude and demanding people can be.

I'm sorry you have had really demanding customers, but to try to promote the concept that these people poorly communicated to you, the program I am part of actually hands out cards to the patients to present to the servers. I know it can be annoying, especially during a busy shift, but most places haven't given me any issue whatsoever.

With out reading all of the comments. I will post what I used to think and what I think now.

Even though my mom had her stomach stapled back in the 80's and never really took control of her weight even with the surgery, I have always known deep down that WLS was not a "free ticket" if you will.

I have now as I've grown older, realized that WLS is hard work and a person must work on improving their eating habits, increased exercise and of course watch what they are eating or it will not work!! I have heard people talk go have had by-passes and they will say I can eat that double cheese burger as long as I don't eat the top bun. Obviously this is not what the surgery is for. Also the surgery has failed to help those people.

On the other hand I have have seen people who have worked hard along with WLS and they have done wonderfully. So, IMO, WLS requires a dedication to eating right, watching portions (by-pass and stomach stapling allow for stretching over time) and get up and get MOVING!!

I have considered WLS myself, but here is the thing. I know it is not a catch all fix, you have be active in the the process and change your own habits or the WLS will fail. I don't have the $$ to have the surgery, nor am I 100% sure that this is something I want. I have decided to do it on my own and try to teach myself better eating habits and get in the routine of exercising, which hopefully will make it stick with me.

Finally, I used to think of WLS as the cure all fix for weight related problems. It really isn't and requires active participation from the person to change their habits, with saying that, I don't consider it cheating if you take all the proper steps and work hard during the process.

I wish you the BEST of luck and sincerely hope that this is the answer to help you.

I wouldn't say that it's cheating, but ....

It's just a medical replacement for willpower and discipline IMO.

Judge much? Weight loss surgery requires lifelong commitment to a healthy regimen followed closely by a doctor. It's vitally important to get enough water, keep electrolytes balanced, on and on and on. It's not easy or any kind of shortcut for someone who can achieve weight loss otherwise. If it has been recommended by a doctor and agreed upon by the patient, everyone else can go ..... Sweetie - you don't owe anyone an explanation. Find what works for you and just get healthy. My sister was a trainer and her husband makes custom gym equipment. She gained weight after a back injury then went into high blood pressure. She was in and out of the hospital, on bedrest at home, etc. She couldn't lose weight even under supervision. Bariatric surgery saved her life. This is a sore subject for me.

Haven't read the other posts, but I definitely don't see it as cheating. My sister had PCOS and insulin resistance and weighed 440 lbs. There was no way she was going to lose that weight without surgery. The months that followed her gastric bypass surgery were like a roller coaster for her. I remember her crying tears of joy with every milestone: being able to wear jeans again, being able to bend over to tie her shoes, walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, etc. There were also many days when she said if she had to do it over again she would not have had the surgery. She was plagued by serious digestive problems for years and some days she couldn't leave the house because of severe diarrhea. The diet was also very hard to stick to over the long haul. I wish you well and hope you don't have some of the complications that she did.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the surgery.

BUT (and yes, I know what using but here means)

I'm disappointed that too many doctors recommend it to patients that SHOULD NOT get it. I have only one case and it hits close to home. My niece, she weighed 280 lbs and was 20 years old when the doctor recommended it. She jumped on it, got the surgery and now, three years later, is gaining the 100 lbs she lost back! She was not ready (mentally) to employ the lifestyle change needed to be successful after the surgery and any idiot who spent five minutes talking to her would have been able to see it.

So for those that get it and then keep the weight off... there's nothing wrong with it.

In cases like my niece... grrr.

I once had a gynecologist suggest at the same weight and age that I get a gastric bypass. I mentioned nothing about weight issues, she handed me a pamphlet and started preaching to me about it. I didn't go back to her.

I was considering it for about a year and paid out of pocket about $1000 to see a overpriced dietician, psychologist, and nurse but after hearing all of the side effects, the restrictions on how you have to eat your food and when you eat it and how invasive it is I had lots of doubts. The team I went to was very state-of-the-art to a fault, i felt swindled like they were not really concerned about what was best for me and my health and only what was best for their pocketbook and making their facility seem the most fancy and their statistics look the nicest. Horrible support and they made it feel like I could not lose weight without the surgery because I would just gain it all back.

I might be out of $1000 but I am trying now to prove them wrong and do it the old fashion way so that I have much more control over my body. I have been morbidly obese most of my life and know it is not easy battling eating disorders but I hope I can stay on track. I am only 25 though and do not suffer from PCOS like the OP. I don't feel that it is cheating for those who truly need it. I don't know much about PCOS or the people here commenting about having it and saying they lost the weight even with it. Everyone is different, she might be genuinely putting in the extra effort and need that push, it is up to her to decide if it is right for her to go through that risk. It is a very big one and can come with lots of complications and takes lots of work to keep the results. I'm sure you already know but you have to take the vitamin B supplements the rest of your life if you get the RNY or duodenal switch plus you can not take aspirin ever again even if you do gain the weight back. It is a very serious and invasive surgery.

Don't worry about what others think, if you always worry about that, even family you will never be happy. I used to do that and never would go outside and I ballooned to 300 pounds. I don't worry about what others think of me anymore even when they immediately get off the treadmill next to me when i walk in at the gym because I can't change other people, just myself. Good luck with whatever decision you make, just make sure you make an informed one.