Getting fed up with bad forum etiquette
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Stick around, it will change.
We are still riding the wave of people who joined to fulfill a New Year's Resolution and haven't given up yet, and some of the people who joined in April or May have just finally heard about it from their friend who lost 10-20 pounds between January and April.
A lot of people will get more serious about MFP through the summer and drop out by Fall. Then you'll see a subtle change in the forums.
Says the person who joined four days ago0 -
I agree with you, but there will always be douche bags in the world.
theres always a need for douche bags
i take everything i read on the internet for what it is. some people just like to cause trouble, some just like to see how people will react, some are oblivious.
its like that great movie quote from alfred...
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This won't end well.0
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But observing Internet violence satisfies my sadistic side.
Well it's more of a majority than a side.
I digress. Do you want me to go back to randomly punching octogenarians to let those feelings out?0 -
With the topic you just posted you are going to get a 50/50 reaction, half will support and encourage and the other half don't care about your opinions and want to make jokes. Honestly you invited it by writing this post especially since this has been posted numerous numerous times and people get agitated seeing the same stuff over and over and they also feel dictated too which invites hostility right to your door, so don't get discouraged by the replys you get, this topic shouldn't count in your final decision because you unknowlingly invited it. My rules for navigating the forums are very very simple, stick to the topics you like, listen to the advice you want and IGNORE the rest. There is nothing you can do about it and by being bothered by it you make yourself and easy mark. It's like a raging river, go with the flow and you'll have a nice ride swim against it and you are gonna get tired real quick.0
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While I agree with some of what you said, and I don't really see a reason to be a douche most of the time, I don't agree with all of it. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion, however an opinion can be wrong.
Other than that, I can honestly say that these forums are not the meanest I've ever spent my time trolling.
My theory is that you make the experience what you want it to be, you are solely in control of your reactions. If you focus on the negative then you will have a negative experience, if you focus on the positive you will have a positive experience. When you are debating a topic you have to know when to walk away, and when you've been baited into a troll post it's okay to laugh at yourself and say "hey, you got me, haha" instead of getting all indignant for taking a while to get the joke. Do we all have bad days? Sure, but if the interwebz is the thing that you're stressing about the most, you could very well have bigger problems.0 -
Gotta take the forums with a grain of salt. If what people say to you on a website gets under your skin you're taking this way too serious. There are still supportive people on here only difference is I think people are much more supportive posting comments on their profile then people bsing in the chit chat forum0
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There will always be bullies. They get off on trying to make other people feel/look stupid. These are the same *kitten* who cut in front of you in traffic, don't tip waiters, tell homeless people to "get a job" and have to have the last word in any conversation. Who gives a crap about what they say? I like to think they just have an undiagnosed Narcissistic personality disorder or forgot to take their meds. Karma will bring it all around to them eventually.1
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was going to comment but don't want to get told off.
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I agree with much of what you said...will it change anyone's behavior?
probably not.
I was pretty much going to type exactly this. It sucks that there are jerks (I can be one sometimes too), but for the most part the larger portion of people here are very supportive. Don't let the forums deter you from using this site to better your situation in life.0 -
With the topic you just posted you are going to get a 50/50 reaction, half will support and encourage and the other half don't care about your opinions and want to make jokes. Honestly you invited it by writing this post especially since this has been posted numerous numerous times and people get agitated seeing the same stuff over and over and they also feel dictated too which invites hostility right to your door, so don't get discouraged by the replys you get, this topic shouldn't count in your final decision because you unknowlingly invited it. My rules for navigating the forums are very very simple, stick to the topics you like, listen to the advice you want and IGNORE the rest. There is nothing you can do about it and by being bothered by it you make yourself and easy mark. It's like a raging river, go with the flow and you'll have a nice ride swim against it and you are gonna get tired real quick.
^^ this0 -
Your opinion on proper forum behavior means absolutely nothing because your opinion means absolutely nothing.0
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Long post is long
You're certainly entitled to your own opinion, and if you think this forum is ill-mannered I can see how that would be frustrating. However I would like to point out something that, to me at least, is a warning sign.
It looks like you haven't even been a member for a full month yet. If after a month you're already 'fed up', how can you expect to overcome all the difficulties with getting in shape and being healthy? Those things aren't easy either, and the world is full to the brim with people who'll tell you this and this miracle cure will help you drop 200 lbs and pick up Adriana Lima as a concubine in 37 seconds, or people who are bitter that they couldn't get in shape and will try to cut you down and tell you how you can't succeed.
If I were you, I'd think long and hard about just what is worth getting up in arms about, and what you should just rise above and ignore.
Good luck to you, either way.0 -
tl;dr
This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies0 -
Well, I guess she told us!
I actually have found that if someone is outright nasty, the other posters come to the aid of the first. The exception is when an original question or subsequent comment are clearly there to incite. #trolls
May I suggest that the OP of this thread feel free to hang out at recipe swap?0 -
First off, I'm still a newbie on MFP. When I found the site - the food and exercise trackers, the forums - I instantly knew I could easily get addicted. I took part in some fun discussions, some great lively debates, some comedic exchanges, took a bit of support, gave a bit of support.
Over the last few days I'm not sure if I'm infuriated, saddened or disgusted. At a couple of points I found myself taking the bait and getting fired up, so I'm also now disappointed in myself.
Here's the MFP guidelines: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines
Here's what I believe should be considered good social network/forum etiquette
1) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's an opinion, not a statement of fact, so it can't be wrong. No-one has the right to lambast someone for their opinion. Debate it, discuss it, disagree ... sure. Berate? No!
2) Before you quote someone else's comment, read it once, read it twice. Don't assume what other people are thinking or what they are implying. If it's not clear, check or at least bear it in mind in your post.
3) Respect that not everyone is at the same education level or life/fitness/health experience point as you. Some will be smarter, more aware. That's ok, respect it. Some will be less so, less aware. That's ok, respect it.
4) Everyone likes a joke. Every joke in the entire world is at someone or something's expense. Some people use humour as a way of lightening the mood, some people just flatly enjoy humour more than serious debate. However, if you can't take a joke, then social networks are not for you.
5) Understand opinion vs. fact. There are some things that are undeniable science, there are some things that are suggested to be consistent facts but not yet wholly proven, there are some things that are just what people choose to interpret, choose to believe and form opinions around. This is why forums exist - to learn, to share, to discuss.
6) Get your facts straight. Ensure you have educated yourself on the facts before you start making statements. Opinions - always ok. Statements - before you start questioning people's credibility, understand their credentials. Before you start quoting politics and law - read the motions and the events. Before you discuss technology, become familiar and educated about it first.
No problem to say what your findings are, what your experiences are, but don't tell me or anyone else what is fact if you have nothing to back it up with. If you choose not to get your facts straight, on your head be it, but respect people who are equipped to set you straight.
7) Respect the bravery. It doesn't matter how you feel, what you would do or what confidence level you have. People will often start topics looking for help, making personal declarations. That takes a lot for many people to do. It shouldn't be a problem to help them get on the right track by filling in knowledge gaps where they might exist, but there will be a lot of people on sites like MFP who have major confidence issues and insecurities.
Before you respond, question if you're responding to help, to share, to understand ... or to do damage.
Maybe I'm just drawn to the wrong subject headers for my own state of mind, but I'm going to give these forums another week before I isolate myself to the trackers. Just a week to see if it's just the phase of the moon or some such twaddle that's making a lot of pig ugly threads come to the surface.
Very Well said!!!0 -
I came in here prepared for another 'People are being mean!' post.
I was pleasantly surprised. The only thing I would add is this:
8) Don't take any of this too personally. If someone made a joke at your expense it's not the end of the world. Brush it off and go about your business with dignity. Everybody here with over 200 posts (some maybe less) has had a joke made at their expense. The truth is their still breathing and still moving closer to their goals.
9) DON'T BE TOO PROUD TO ADMIT WHEN YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE- I see so many people caught up and being 'right' on the forums that they absolutely REFUSE to learn anything. I type before I think, I misinterpret data, I make jokes that are offensive, and sometimes I cross the lines. But at the end of the day I learn things on these boards because I work at staying humble.0 -
lol. it's the internet.0
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worry about you0
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tl;dr
This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies
Agreed this forum is very tame compared to other forums0 -
if u put as much time into exercising as u do w orrying about what others are doing you should be doing great0
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Why does everyone want to sit around and hold hands? Not reality so why get worked up about it?
You joined the end of April and have posted 150+ times already--obsess much? Did you just come off a Facebook addiction and thought you would turn it into a MFP one?
Jeez--it's the F-ing internet--can't you folks figure that out and stop trying to make everyone nice.0 -
I stopped reading after the first point. I got fed up with the self righteousness.0
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tl;dr
This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies
Same, people on these forums have helped me so much, I think the only people that get offended just want to be told they have to eat lettuce and starve and get mad when people mention ice cream and beer! Excuse me while I go lose 1-2lbs this week while having ice cream and beer!0 -
tl;dr
This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies
Same, people on these forums have helped me so much, I think the only people that get offended just want to be told they have to eat lettuce and starve and get mad when people mention ice cream and beer! Excuse me while I go lose 1-2lbs this week while having ice cream and beer!
No one asked the Canadian...0 -
Here's the problem: it's usually not the people who know what they're talking about who are being jerks. It's those who just want validation for their opinions. Here, take an example:
Person A: omg duz ne1 no nething abt the cabbage soup diet/shakeology/whatever i wanna do it but im scared its dangerous
Person B: Basically, if it's not a sustainable life choice, it's not worth it. Science proves that healthy eating/caloric deficit/whatever is a much better idea.
Person A:P OMG U R SO MEAN. wut r u calling me an idiot???0 -
tl;dr
This is one of the nicest forums I have been a member of. People just need to quit being such babies
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I'm always intrigued by message board complaints about rudeness. Invariably, the rude people prove the OP point. It's not "the Internet", which of course is not a place but just a conduit, it's the anonymity. Same principle that applies to people flipping you off on the highway at 70 mph who are less inclined to do so at a stop light.
Imagine if instead of posting on a board we were all sitting around in a room talking. It would go way differently.0 -
Yup, there will always be bullies and pack mentality....just is. Have I been at the receiving end of the hurt? oh yes. :ohwell: Personally I just try and stay the eff out of the forums when I'm too blue to handle it...should it be that way? who knows, but there will always be people who push their own thoughts and opinions on others, and there will always be people who enjoy kicking people when they are down.
Have I done it? prolly, wish I could say no, but I'm sure I've made a joke at someone's expense.
But OP, your post was nicely thought out and well worded, so props. :flowerforyou:1
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