30th time I have caught my husband stealing my pain meds!
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If the worst he does is steal pain meds and lies about it...then that's not divorce-worthy in my opinion. Marriages these days are just stupid. They set bad examples especially for the kids!! You shouldn't be able to get married and then divorced over something petty. And yes, taking some pain meds is petty. Maybe he has a problem. You're his wife...talk to him about it and try to find help. Maybe he's in pain and doesn't want to admit it?? I used to have an addiction to Vicodin as well and got off of them, so it's very easy to get addicted. Try to be a little more understanding.
But if it's much worse than taking some pills and he's also abusive, etc, then yeah, get divorced. But not over this.0 -
Is this real?0
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Assuming you aren't trolling...
Your husband has an addiction issue, not a lying/stealing issue. Stop being a whining brat and try to get him some help ffs.
This is why I lose faith in humanity. People can't seem to deal with real life issues.
Seriously. He's your husband. You have children. I hope you have more than this in your pocket to file for a divorce.0 -
Do you still love your husband? Is it possible that before jumping to divorce, you could sit down and discuss the possibility of him going to therapy for his addiction?
Maybe it's just me, but I would want to exhaust every option possible before getting a divorce. You said you had kids, right? That's really hard on them. You will do whatever works for you in the end!
I agree, you should look for help for your husband and try to fix your other problems in your marriage first. It seems though that if your wanting to divorce so easily that there are underlying problems. A strong marriage, when you truly love your partner, you can weather any storm. This can be an obstacle that requires both of you to work at it. Help you husband, don't just through him to the wolves. Good luck and keep us updated. Hoping for the best for both of you!0 -
She might not have deleted because of thin skin. She may have had anxiety about sharing personal info online.0
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BreeNJesse has deactivated their account.
Are you terribly surprised after some of the mean, rude and downright judgmental replies she got. People please remember just cause you can't see someones face doesn't mean you aren't talking to a real person with real feelings.0 -
Hide the pain pills somewhere safe so you can take them. Replace the pain pills with laxatives. Proceed by giggling as he is getting up and racing to the restroom over and over again. Problem solved.0
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You shouldn't divorce over pills. Try getting help 1st!0
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She might not have deleted because of thin skin. She may have had anxiety about sharing personal info online.
You think OP would have thought about that before sharing this personal info online.0 -
Assuming you aren't trolling...
Your husband has an addiction issue, not a lying/stealing issue. Stop being a whining brat and try to get him some help ffs.
This is why I lose faith in humanity. People can't seem to deal with real life issues.
Dealing with "real life issues" in the moment is hard for everyone. Lying and stealing is just as much of an issue as the addiction, they are symptoms that put strain on the marriage and make it impossible to maintain trust-- a key component of any successful relationship.
Not really sure how her feelings of upset and helplessness in a time of personal trial makes you "lose faith in humanity".
She's finally realized that there is a huge problem in her relationship, and awareness is the first step to solving any problem. Whatever choices she makes are hers, and "right" and "wrong" are too subjective of words for what happens to bad relationships, but I'd say she's on the right track here.
The lying and stealing may sting a bit, but as you said, they are merely the symptoms god the larger problem, which is the addiction. She is focusing on the symptoms instead of the root cause, which is the lack of faith part. Let's say he was honest about his addiction and bought the pills off the street, does that make things better? He's being honest and not stealing, right? Bandaid solution applied!
The OP considered divorce before exploring other options.0 -
BreeNJesse has deactivated their account.
Are you terribly surprised after some of the mean, rude and downright judgmental replies she got. People please remember just cause you can't see someones face doesn't mean you aren't talking to a real person with real feelings.
You're new here I'm guessing.0 -
Assuming you aren't trolling...
Your husband has an addiction issue, not a lying/stealing issue. Stop being a whining brat and try to get him some help ffs.
This is why I lose faith in humanity. People can't seem to deal with real life issues.
This. What ever happened to "...in sickness and in health..."???0 -
I think you both may have a drug problem. Get help.
This!!!0 -
I'm hooked on hugs, not drugs...0
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You're a drug addict and so is your husband. Get yourself help and then get him help. No amount of dieting and exercise will make you healthy if you're drug dependent. If you have LEGITIMATE need, try alternatives to drugs, i.e. acupuncture0
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share hugs not drugs0
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Is it not ok to vent about things not weightloss/fitness related here? I know I would be better off going online with a set of strangers venting my frustrations then telling my crap to family/friends when it is about my husband. I stay with him, so venting to them is just making them hate him worse. Not a good idea. Anyways, I am pretty new to posting. I haven't been around in a while so I am just trying to get the feel of the board trying to figure out how NOT to run to the fridge when he is being an *kitten*. :laugh: If it is looked down upon here, I will definitely take note.
PS, I don't really think she is an addict, if she was, she would always have her pills on her.0 -
[/quote]
[And lying about it! I started counting my pills because I was running out of them quicker than I could get them prescribed and honestly thought it was me. I am at the end of my rope with the lying and stealing. Who does that? There is no trust! I know this is supposed to be all happy cheery crap all the time but I'm having a WAY heavy day. I think I'm divorcing him.
Oh my, he definitely needs some help. I'm glad that you are seeing it for what it is. I strongly suggest you talk to him about getting some help. Only you know how long you have been dealing with this, in the end im all for making a marriage work however if the other party isn't wanting to fix what's broken (drug issue and whatever else the root of the problem is) then you must do what's best for you and your children. Try and talk with him and see about getting some help then go from there.}0 -
I live this life of good karma and want to raise my kids the same. What does that say about me staying with someone who lies and steals?
Get him help. In the meantime, keep the pills hidden and/or locked away.
After a full page of responses, it seems odd I'd be the first person to suggest this. ^^ Seems pretty obvious to me...
^I know right?!0 -
30th time. lol.0
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Hey, lying and stealing are not the good foundation for a marriage. JS.
And no, I am not married. And probably will never be.0 -
BreeNJesse has deactivated their account.
BWAHAHA Oh Stanley...
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BreeNJesse has deactivated their account.
Are you terribly surprised after some of the mean, rude and downright judgmental replies she got. People please remember just cause you can't see someones face doesn't mean you aren't talking to a real person with real feelings.
You're new here I'm guessing.
Not at all I have been here nearly a year. The OP has also been on here a year with 150 posts. Not a troll. I am quite often disgusted by the replies some people put on here because they are safe behind their computer screens.0 -
BreeNJesse has deactivated their account.
Are you terribly surprised after some of the mean, rude and downright judgmental replies she got. People please remember just cause you can't see someones face doesn't mean you aren't talking to a real person with real feelings.
You're new here I'm guessing.
Not at all I have been here nearly a year. The OP has also been on here a year with 150 posts. Not a troll. I am quite often disgusted by the replies some people put on here because they are safe behind their computer screens.
Wanna fight? :laugh:0 -
I don't think that you should divorce your husband over this. You obviously need to help him get through this. If you address it and he makes no effort then I could see you proceeding with divorce but at this point it sounds like you haven't even talked to him about it. Talk to him, remove the temptation, and get him some help. Then, if you have to love him from afar, so be it.0
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I think most importantly, why are you asking strangers in an online weight loss forum what you should do with your husband/marriage? Seriously?!
There seems to be a trend here
I assume people ask this stuff here for unbiased opinions in regards to the situation as presented.
I have asked similar things in ensure that my feelings that I was having a hard time admitting were valid, and so asking people and giving details without too much personal detail I got some responses that helped me face my situation.
Honestly it sounds like he has an addiction and with addicitions in can go a few different ways.
* He can admit he needs help and will accept the help provided and follow through with his plan and become the man he used to be, the man you loved
* He can admit the problem, ask for help but then not follow through landing him back in the cycle of addiction
* He can admit the problem but not want help
* He can decide that he doesn't have a problem and continues the addict cycle
It is up to him if he wants to get help and use it, and I think that should be the basis of a decision to leave. If he gets the help he needs and stays clean and you have your husband back the way you loved him then why would you leave?
If he cannot clean up or refuses to then I would say that is good reason to leave and never look back.0 -
Then you must be absolutely mortified when you step outside into the real world.BreeNJesse has deactivated their account.
Are you terribly surprised after some of the mean, rude and downright judgmental replies she got. People please remember just cause you can't see someones face doesn't mean you aren't talking to a real person with real feelings.
You're new here I'm guessing.
Not at all I have been here nearly a year. The OP has also been on here a year with 150 posts. Not a troll. I am quite often disgusted by the replies some people put on here because they are safe behind their computer screens.
Btw, longevity of account does not correlate to whether or not someone is a troll. And judging from your post count, yes, you *are* new to the forums.0 -
BreeNJesse has deactivated their account.0
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The troll deactivated Peeps.
I know this but still think this point needs to be made. This is a quit cold turkey situation for both parties. Husband is clearly an addict stealing from a sick wife 30 times.
Wife (OP's) pain clearly isn't managed if it took her so long to catch on that she was refilling too frequently, furthermore, her Dr. or pharmacy should have caught on. Too much looking the other way, too little actual problem solving. She needs a real solution, possibly surgery. Hubby needs a 12 step. Only bothering to say after deactivation in case anyone else ever finds themselves in these murky waters during a pain medicated injury. IF it's murky and confusing, it's probably time to get some clarity. Fast!0 -
I think most importantly, why are you asking strangers in an online weight loss forum what you should do with your husband/marriage? Seriously?!
Bingo!!! ^^ this lady winz the internet!0
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