Anyone else have an Uber-Picky Eater Child?

Incidentally, after reading other posts, my child was brought up on an incredibly healthy diet- breastfed until she was 3, weaned from 6 months on only homemade healthy foods. we have been told that she has an incredibly sensitive palate (a doctor checked her tastebuds) which apparently accounts for her only wanting very bland foods. Not all of us parents of fussy eaters have brought them up badly. Additionally we also always eat a family meal at the table and, indeed, all meals are eaten at the table; her favourite drink (and practically only drink) is water.....

I lie. *GASP* Yes I do. Are there onions in here? You see any? No? Well, that's because they're not there (visibly)... I used to blend everything. He's 13 now and will try more and more, but the structure of the food is his main issue (almost like Asperger's), so I keep blending the pasta sauce. Juicing works for fruits. Thank God he now likes celery and carrots...

i'm super anti fibbing to my kids. if i lie to them, how can i expect them to trust me? if i lie to them, how can i expect honesty from them? my mother used to tell lies like that and it just made me sceptical about everything she told me.

Santa Claus? Just sayin...

I personally did not lie to my son about Santa Claus and explained that it was a nice fairy tale and fun thing to make-believe for Christmas since the get-go. We've had amazing holidays every year. Literally billions of kids have had very happy childhoods growing up with other holiday traditions that don't require you to lie to them. It's up to you, but... I'm just sayin'.

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

(duplicate post, can't erase.)

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

^^^This 100%.^^^ They aren't picky they're spoiled. That is not a slam! And yes we do cater to our children way too much. I did too up until I changed my food lifestyle. Now they eat what I make or they are old enough to make their own whatever they want to eat.

Incidentally, after reading other posts, my child was brought up on an incredibly healthy diet- breastfed until she was 3, weaned from 6 months on only homemade healthy foods. we have been told that she has an incredibly sensitive palate (a doctor checked her tastebuds) which apparently accounts for her only wanting very bland foods. Not all of us parents of fussy eaters have brought them up badly. Additionally we also always eat a family meal at the table and, indeed, all meals are eaten at the table; her favourite drink (and practically only drink) is water.....

No being a super taster is genetic and has some evolutionary advantages. It kept our ancestors from eating poision and dying. Now your challenge Mama is to find what she loves. I can get my super taster to eat fried vegetables. I have no proof but I'm almost convinced the high temp of frying helps to knock off some of those bitter compounds. She needs exposure to low bitter vegetables and fruit. Think for now ice berg or romaine, cauliflower might work, sweet potatoes, potatoes, sometimes carrots, avocado (might cause texture aversion), melons. She cant help that she tastes terrible things that we do not, but there are so many alternatives out there. As she ages she will become less sensitive, but I can bet she'll never like brussel sprouts. You just keep talking to her, encouraging her, let her "help" mommy in the kitchen maybe she's a big girl and can shred the lettuce for the salad. What ever you can do keep it fun open honest and experiment. Your challenge is set forth for you now...

YOU tell her what she is going to eat, you're the parent. Don't cater to her.

What's so bad about "catering" to a child sometimes? I LOVE it when people cater to what I like. It makes me feel loved and valued I can only assume it's the same for kids. And I like doing nice things for my kid! It makes us both happy.

YOU tell her what she is going to eat, you're the parent. Don't cater to her.

What's so bad about "catering" to a child sometimes? I LOVE it when people cater to what I like. It makes me feel loved and valued I can only assume it's the same for kids. And I like doing nice things for my kid! It makes us both happy.

for me, it's more that i don't want to produce people who are trained to blindly obey or else.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strip_search_prank_call_scam

if i couldn't justify my rules then i wouldn't make them.

You buy the groceries. Don't want her to eat it then don't keep it in the house. I was the same way as a kid but then people stopped catering to me 24/7 if I didn't eat it was saved for me for when I eventually got hungry. If she won't eat she will get hungry and eventually want to eat and if you don't bring the other things into the house they aren't an option.

Although I am not a parent, I swear to you - I was, and still am, the pickiest eater. All my life, I found that whenever I ate certain foods, my stomach ached but I never talked to my parents about it. I was always your typical kid eating typical foods - cereal for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, fruit after school and whatever my parents put on the table for dinner. Back to the stomach issue, I was finally diagnosed with Celiac Disease when I was 18 and by the time of my diagnoses, the only things I was eating were carrots and yogurt, because my stomach hurt but I just told my parents I didn't like it. Have you ever considered something like this with your child because Celiac Disease is becoming more and more common. The biggest thing that my parents did to promote me to eat was if I ate all my meals everyday for a week straight, every Thursday, my dad would take me to the store and buy me whatever ice cream I wanted and that kept my parents going. Once a week, a little sweets won't do a ton of harm. One thing that I do now as an adult, is experiment with different things to make it more healthy. For example, I'll throw ground meat with a bunch of vegetables (carrots, sweet potatoes, tomatoes) into a food processor and make a lasagna. It tastes not that much different, but surely helps a lot. Also, my mom and dad said that when I was starting puberty, I absolutely avoided healthy foods at all expenses, because my taste buds were changing. I do occasionally enjoy some cucumber, carrots, broccoli, whatever with some dip now! Best of luck to you and your family!

Oh good point especially if your child always complains of stomach aches, has a lot of flatulence, or irregular bowel movements. Celiac's along with other food allergies/intolerance can really cause a picky episode. You werent diagnosed till 18! Wow, the damage that could have been caused to your GI tract. Glad you got a diagnosis.

YOU tell her what she is going to eat, you're the parent. Don't cater to her.

What's so bad about "catering" to a child sometimes? I LOVE it when people cater to what I like. It makes me feel loved and valued I can only assume it's the same for kids. And I like doing nice things for my kid! It makes us both happy.

Yeesh - you seem like a really great mommy, but I have to object here. As her mother, it isn't your job to make her happy. It's your job to equip her with the grit, flexibility, and self-reliance she'll need to survive (emotionally and physically) in an increasingly difficult world.

TL;DR version:
If a child is hungry, he will eat.

Long version:
Probably not going to be a popular stance, but I believe we create picky eaters. I'm not talking about allergies, texture disorders, or even strong food preferences. Of course not everyone is going to like all food.

But we parents (especially in the US) are so amped up crazy with pressure to be good parents that the idea of our kid missing a meal or going hungry becomes a sign of abject failure. And so we cave.

I say this from my own experience as a parent, experience working in elementary schools, experience working in day care facilities, and my experience working in an emergency shelter for children (home environment where we prepared meals for them). Not scientific, but a variety of contexts across a variety of ages and ethnic backgrounds.

Kids are tenacious and will wear you down. You can give in if you want. But too many parents throw their hands up and say "I've got a super picky eater!" and then make additional meals, allow desserts and snacks, even bring McDonald's into restaurants (I know parents who have done this) so the family can all eat together.

I suspect that in our culture of abundance, the idea of our kids missing a meal sounds horrifying. Besides, why put up with the screaming fit if is simply means throwing away a few carrots? Because it teaches bad habits around food, around power struggles, around communication and trust. And I think we parents are fearful and lazy. We're scared of being "bad" parents, and we're lazy when it comes to sticking to our convictions and setting limits. It's easier to give in. I know it is.

A kid doesn't have to eat dinner. If you prepare a family meal and the kid doesn't like it, it doesn't have to be a two-way fight. You (the parent) can remain calm and simply explain that's dinner. If the kid doesn't want any of it, he can sit there quietly. It doesn't have to be punitive or vengeful. Setting limits can be done in a respectful, loving way. This idea that restricting kids is not being loving is wrong, and even damaging. Kids can go without food for a bit. They just miss the eating part of dinner. But don't take my word for it. Go ask your family doctor what will happen if your kid misses dinner. Please report back if a licensed physician states that kids need to eat at every meal no matter what. (medical issues aside)

If a child is hungry, he will eat.

When I was working at the shelter, our rule was simple: you had to try everything on your plate before getting seconds of anything or getting dessert. That meant one bite of those vegetables and you got "credit." No "clean your plate" - just trying each food on the plate. This was for kids that came from money, kids that ate from trash cans, kids who were neglected and ate Snickers for dinner. They all had the same rule. It amazes me how many parents won't commit to something like this. "She just doesn't like <insert food> - never has." And the parents give up.

If a child is hungry, she will eat.

We have two girls, and some variation of this has been said many times at our house: "No one is forcing you to eat those carrots. But I'm sorry, there won't be any ice cream if you don't have some of them." One daughter is much pickier than the other. She sometimes doesn't get dessert. And THAT'S NOT FAIR!!

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

I won't make a second dinner, either.


Ain't nobody got time for that.

We have a few exceptions for a second dinner for the kids - chili - too hot, sushi - too raw, some Indian food - too hot, other than that, they get to eat what we do. Don't eat it? Don't get a snack later then.

ETA - some things that keep our kids interested in their foods is we have them help in the garden. They may never eat a store bought cucumber, but they eat them like apples out of the garden! When we get a chance to go to a very large farmer's market ( a few hour drive from here) that has 'unusual' produce, we'll have them pick one thing new to try. We'll look up recipes and try it. Some we have unanimously hated, and some we have loved. They help pick out the side dishes and vegetables while we are at the store. Between the two boys, there are a handful of veggies that one loves raw and can't stand cooked, and the other one prefers just the opposite. We'll usually have both raw and cooked of those.

Wow, lots of old fogies here with weird views on food. I was that picky child and I was better for it. As I grew older, I liked more foods. When I was really young all I would eat was beef, apples, and Cheerios. That's it. I hated milk and cheese. Later on, I found out I was lactose intolerant, no flipping way, right? I still won't touch cheese, as it's disgusting to me and causes severe reactions.

I taught myself to like fruits and veggies as I hit my teens. My mum and dad were patient with me and never forced me to finish my plate - it's one of the many reasons Americans are so fat: they have all be taught to finish their plates. I was taught how to make my own food at a young age. My parents would take out portions of the food before putting cheese on/in it. It's not hard to live with a picky eater. I've never once been fat. I'm here to lose "vanity pounds".

The only thing my parents made me do was to take a single bite of something I didn't like so I could decide if I still didn't like it. That's it. But then again my parents raised me to be a rule-breaker. *shrugs*

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

yeah...

my mother did that. i was in the 'dangerously underweight' section of the bmi chart all through high school and well into adult life.

just sayin'

Mine did too, and I was too. But on the upside! I am now an adult who is strong and healthy, and who is the only member of the family that is not dangerously obese or overweight. Some kids don't like to eat, period, and will stay skinny until puberty, or college, or desk jobs catch them up.

I think we cater to children too much. The vast majority of them will not starve themselves to death over grody spinach. They'll eat it if provided positive reinforcement, patience, and consistency of discipline. They live in YOUR house, not the other way around.

actually WE live in OUR house. And, although I tell them regularly that this family is a my dictatorship and not a democracy, we are a team.
I'm not going to risk eating disorders just to prove a point, because I don't need to prove myself to them over carrots. They should respect me because I'm good at leading, i'm strong and consistent and they trust me and I put their welfare first,. Not just because I'm wearing the 'mom' badge and I'm bigger than them.

But then, I come to parenting from a background of dog psychology.

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

This made me laugh! There is some great advice on this thread and I am amazed at the time and trouble that people take over writing helpful replies; we may not all always agree but ultimately we probably all have the same goal in mind which is why we are on this site!