How can I want it so badly, But never follow through?
AmelieMustLoseWeight
Posts: 180 Member
I hate that we are " creatures of habit" . I used to be tiny. I was 120lbs. over a course of 6 years I gained 50 lbs. It was hard on me because I looked into the mirror and I couldn't believe what I had become. Even though i noticed some of the weight and that my pants were not fitting when i woke up each morning i felt like it happened over night. I lost 20lbs. ( yay!) However I still have 30 more to go. I want it so bad but Its so difficult. I hate being out of shape. I truely do. When I run on the track and have to stop running after 3 laps I feel ashamed. My boyfriend has lost some love for me because not only did I gain this weight I have been saying how Im going to fix it and I don't. I have a hard time doing sit up and push up. My lower back becomes easily hurt and it annoys me because im only 21. im 5'5 I weight 165lbs. I want to weight 130 or less. If I had my way I would be 119 or something like that. I have very large hips and a large butt though. I just need motivation and a way to become consistant. I work 3rd shift so im horrible inconsistant due to my longing for sleep. Any ideas?
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Replies
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I have a similar situation, and sometimes if I have an off day like today I beat myself up and think "what's the point? It's not going to work anyway so why bother trying?" I think having someone who's in it with you for support can help, like a workout buddy or someone to help hold you accountable. That way if you're feeling down or lazy or whatever the case may be, you may feel a little more obligated to keep going because you don't want to break the date with your friend. Even if you have different goals, just knowing someone's there to help can be reassuring and encouraging.0
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i thought this was something else.. oops lol0
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its eather you dont want it bad enough or you dont know what your doing. Try doing some short burst sprints in intervals instead of long duration running, you might not burn as much in one session but it will help you burn calories through out your day and overall you burn more calories. When you strength train concentrate in compounds movements (exercise that requires more than one muscles group) because they burn a **** more calories during and after your workout then sit ups and bicep curls0
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It's just one healthy choice at a time. Every day you are given choices and you choose how to respond. The healthier the choices, the more it contributes to your ultimate goal. The hardest thing for me is having patience with the process. I've lost 20lbs before, I know it works to stay in a moderate calorie deficit and stay as active as I have time for (usually at least 30 minutes 5 times a week, but some days I do more, and sometimes fewer days a week ... just depends on the week). You don't need to kill yourself to lose weight, but you do need to stay consistent and have a plan that works with your lifestyle. Don't set yourself up for failure by setting your goals too high. Slow and steady, as boring as it sounds, is the way to go.
Best of luck.0 -
then you don't want it badly enough.0
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THIS. People who want something bad enough rarely let any obstacles stop them. They usually find a way.then you don't want it badly enough.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I think a lot of people are in your situation, I know I am. Getting an exercise buddy or a girlfriend will help or an MFP buddy. You can *****, whinge or complain to them and they wont mind. They will keep you honest and to keep being motivated.
In regards to your boyfriend, I think it is less about your weight and more about the way you might talk and worry about your weight. Maybe it is a little too much talk and he is over it. I know us woman we talk things to death but most men, they only want to hear it once or twice and then they are sooooooo over it. They dont want to hear about our ups and downs but that doesn't mean he is not supportive. It is just that he is a male and they are simply not interested in this part of ours lives. Which is another reason why I suggested an exercise buddy or a girlfriend or MFP buddy. If you have one of these, then you can talk all you want to them. However to your boyfriend, just put in positive energy into your relationship. Work on things that you both enjoy. Maybe he would like to walk with you a couple nights a week. Or some other fun activity that both of you enjoy. Who knows you may find that your relationship might start improving. Plus, you will burn calories laughing, doing something you enjoy and simply getting out and enjoying life.
Also, you didn't put the weight on overnight, so its not going to come off overnight either. Take it slow and enjoy your new life and before you know it, you will be saying. Damn I look good. ; )
Good luck0 -
I hate that we are " creatures of habit" . I used to be tiny. I was 120lbs. over a course of 6 years I gained 50 lbs. It was hard on me because I looked into the mirror and I couldn't believe what I had become. Even though i noticed some of the weight and that my pants were not fitting when i woke up each morning i felt like it happened over night. I lost 20lbs. ( yay!) However I still have 30 more to go. I want it so bad but Its so difficult. I hate being out of shape. I truely do. When I run on the track and have to stop running after 3 laps I feel ashamed. My boyfriend has lost some love for me because not only did I gain this weight I have been saying how Im going to fix it and I don't. I have a hard time doing sit up and push up. My lower back becomes easily hurt and it annoys me because im only 21. im 5'5 I weight 165lbs. I want to weight 130 or less. If I had my way I would be 119 or something like that. I have very large hips and a large butt though. I just need motivation and a way to become consistant. I work 3rd shift so im horrible inconsistant due to my longing for sleep. Any ideas?
It's all about how bad you want it. Circumstances are ubiquitous to all people, it's what you do in response to them that counts. Also try not to get too wrapped up in equating self-worth with body weight, it's an unhealthy mental approach to life.0 -
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...” Dr Suess
"Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda
See what I'm pointing out here? You can also choose how you think about things. Saying we are 'creatures of habit' is a bit of a cop out I'm sorry to say. If you want to change you'll change. And instead of feeling ashamed of 'only' running three laps, you could choose to think "wow, I ran three laps, I bet I can go further tomorrow". As for your boyfriend, I'm not going there. But accepting and loving yourself is probably a good goal to aim for. Best of luck in your decisions.0 -
Most important: don't beat yourself up about it. I think you have to believe in yourself and have enough self-worth to believe that you deserve to make this change. Something that helps me stay motivated while I'm working out is to visualize where I want to be and the body I want to have, because it helps me keep a positive image in mind even while my body is saying "ow ow ow"!
I've also really struggled with motivation in the past because of social anxiety which made it really hard to go for a run/go to the gym or even just leave the house in a non-exercising capacity sometimes! Recently I've discovered the wealth of exercise videos there are on youtube, which I find a massive help if I feel like I haven't got the time, money or confidence to go to the gym, I just tell myself to stick on a video! I've just started doing the 30 Day Shred which everyone raves about - maybe you might find it helpful because it's essentially a really basic workout program that tells you what to do each day? I also highly recommend fitness blender HIIT workouts and POP Pilates (this would definitely help you build up lower back strength too!)
Essentially, just keep on going! Take each day in isolation so that one bad day doesn't write off the whole week as a failure. We have pretty much the same fitness goals and similar stats (I'm 23, 5'5 and 154lb) so I took the liberty of sending you a friend request. If I can help you stay motivated on your journey in any way let me know
I believe in us!! Chrissy x 0 -
I'm terrible for stopping and starting so this time I'm setting myself prizes for doing over certain goals I can't say if it's working yet though because it's all new lol.
I will say one thing though I wish I had the stamina to follow through at your age rather than wasting the last 12 years essentially fighting myself, I think you need the confidence boost as well.0 -
I think in the beginning it's easy to be excited but that wears off. You have to develop the habits and commitment to keep going regardless of whether you feel like it or not. That way if you wake up and it's supposed to be a gym day you're not thinking "should I go to the gym?" You're just doing it, because there isn't a choice. Same with food. Make logging, weighing, and measuring second nature. Don't let it be a matter of "if I feel like it," it's just what you do now.0
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then you don't want it badly enough.
Thanks for inspiring me today to not overeat as I do want it so much.0 -
just
give
it
time
and
dont
give
up.0 -
If at all humanly possible, get off 3rd shift. Read any statistics on it, and you'll see it's truly bad for your health all around.0
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then you don't want it badly enough.
Agreed.
Motivation is irrelevant.
All that matters is that you GET OFF YOUR BUTT.0 -
You want sleep more than you want this.
I Work an odd schedule myself. Twelve hour shifts, days, nights, weekends. Once i figured out how to make my schedule work for ME it became easier.
But don't think it's still not going to be a struggle.0 -
I went through a month long phase of not caring about my new diet/exercise lifestyle, gained 1.5lbs so wasnt too bad. Then I got back on track and started a new exercise regime, got into 16/l8 IF eating and Im doing great! Iv also got 2 sons, 2yrs old and 7months and the 7month old has just started crawling and the 2 yr old is a terror! Im busy all day but make myself work out 30-60 mins a day 5 days a week and I think to myself, I can sit on my bum for an hour a day so why not use that hour as a workout?
Im also 5"5 and weigh 153lbs or so now, my goal is 120-130 so wer quite similar. It is hard when you have alot to lose though so you do have to be strong and focused, good luck0 -
then you don't want it badly enough.
This is a little harsh and not very constructive. For some people, like myself, this is true, I finally gave up smoking (20+ years ago) when I really wanted to badly, I started to lose weight when I wanted it badly enough, but that is me and this doesn't apply to everyone. It depends on the type of person they are and personal circumstances.0 -
I've found doing zumba 4-5x a week really helped me. I'm dancing having fun and it doesn't feel like a workout at all. I think if you find something you love to do it will be easier to stick with it. Plus you have to be patient. The weight didn't come on over night. It's taken me a year to lose 50lbs and I still have 25 more to go. Everyday is a challenge and I'm not giving up and neither will you.0
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I just completed the Beachbody 21 day reset program. It was suppose to reset my metabolism and jumpstart my healthy eating and it helped SO much. For 21 days, I ate nothing but super healthy food....detox is part of the program. I believe this is going to be a changing point for me. My daughter also did the program...and it changed her health....plus she went down 4 dress sizes and is healthier than she has ever been. I'm not a Beachbody coach or anything....so this is not a sales pitch. I just needed to make a drastic change in my eating and health....and this program helped. I have lost 11 pounds in 21 days.....and plan to continue eating super healthy using the recipes and tips from the program.0
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First of all any exercise is good, I took a long time to be ready to do this for good...
all the weight will give you low self esteem from the sound of your post, so go get yourself a self hypnosis program, me personally love using glen harrold, people may think you just need motivation, but like you I hate what I see in the mirror and how unfit I feel...
I took my own advice and now I exercise virtually everyday, I eat fairly healthy cos it gives me the energy to workout...
I do lots of classes cos it takes your mind off the fact you exercise plus walking...
just keep at it and eventually you will get there and will stay there...0 -
You're doing it wrong.
I don't know WHAT you are doing wrong, but you are doing something wrong. Either your motivation is wrong, your methods are wrong, your routines are wrong. Something is wrong.
I gained and lost weight for years. Sometimes 40 pounds at a time! It always felt like I had finally found success. I was doing it wrong. I went extreme with my diet, ignored exercise, and would lose 12 pounds a month and burn out in 3 months (bad methods). I wanted to lose weight to be attractive, but I was also happily married (poor motivation).
This time around, 14 months ago, my doctor told me I was too large and had become infertile due to a medical condition that could be controlled through diet and exercise, mostly. Having a child has been one of my most important goals. Finally I had a better motivation. The doctor helped teach me how to work with my PCOS to create a better diet (methods). She and I discussed how to have a successful amount of activity in my life (routines).
I've lost the weight more slowly, but it doesn't matter much. I'm 199 now. When I was 180 I was a size 16, and right now I'm a size 14. Because I'm losing it right, the pounds don't matter. I'm still smaller than I was last time I was at this weight because my exercise is happening.0 -
THIS. People who want something bad enough rarely let any obstacles stop them. They usually find a way.then you don't want it badly enough.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
IMO that's a little simplistic, even though it's true in a lot of cases.
In some cases the person really does want it badly enough, however other issues/fears get in the way, so it's like they're pulling in two different directions at the same time, and thus going nowhere, or moving much more slowly towards their goal than they should be, given the effort they're putting into trying to achieve it.'
OP: as for what to do about it, have a deep think about yourself and your beliefs about yourself and see whether there are any negative beliefs or fears holding you back. Sometimes making lists helps, e.g. "why I want to lose weight" and "what is stopping me from losing weight" and "why I think I can't lose weight" and "why I'm afraid to lose weight" - those kinds of questions... make a list, and see what you come up with... but the list making is only the start, you have to examine every one of those beliefs/fears that is holding you back or pulling you in the opposite direction, and eliminate the belief or find a way to get around all the limitations. Most people when they do this exercise find that most of what's holding them back is totally irrational, and you have to work at replacing the irrational beliefs with rational ones.
A lot of these kinds of beliefs operate at the subconscious level, so you have to do a bit of mental digging (e.g. list writing) to find them and when you've found them you can work on getting rid of them or on changing your beliefs about yourself. There are quite a few self-help books that teach you how to do this, I'd recommend this rather than just following what I've written, because I'm not a psychologist. However I do know how conflicting and self-defeating beliefs can hold you back and lead to self-sabotage that undermines all the effort you put in to achieving your goals. This kind of stuff does work, and like I said, simply "not wanting it enough" is too simplistic an answer at times.0 -
I'm a little uncomfortable with the 'you don't want it badly enough' sentiment. I understand where people are coming from and yes it's important to want it otherwise you just won't be motivated.
But, there is wanting it and then there is obsessing about it. When I was in my early 20's a had such low self esteem, and I felt enormous (I wasn't). I wanted to lose weight so badly that I developed an eating disorder. Of course there were other factors that led to the full scale restricting or purging but being skinny was so important to me I didn't care about the health consequences.
Nearly a decade later and I still have to be careful when I start managing my food. It still enters my head to 'just not eat today' or 'eat those treats and then purge after'.
It's very easy to become obsessive - take it a day at a time, don't focus on the wanting to look a certain way try and focus on wanting to feel a certain way. The only time I ever successfully lost weight and it stayed off was when I developed a whole knew approach to food and activity. Activity is now part of my day to day life by cycling to work, running at the weekend and walking as much as possible.0 -
It's hard to get motivated at times. For the longest time in my life, I wasn't motivated, used excuses, you name it.
Then, January 26, 2012, changed my life forever. I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I didn't get upset over that because I knew it ran in both sides of my family. I had a choice to make: Be miserable and continue with my bad eating habits, or embrace I have it and not let it get me down. I'm happy to say I chose the latter.
Since then, I'm now down 50 pounds after changing my eating habits, drinking more water, and exercising. I also took the slow and steady pace because I wanted to do it right instead of quick.
You have to be the one to push yourself. No one will believe in you if you don't believe in yourself first. In the words of the late Jim Valvano, "Don't give up, don't ever give up."0 -
THIS. People who want something bad enough rarely let any obstacles stop them. They usually find a way.then you don't want it badly enough.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
IMO that's a little simplistic, even though it's true in a lot of cases.
In some cases the person really does want it badly enough, however other issues/fears get in the way, so it's like they're pulling in two different directions at the same time, and thus going nowhere, or moving much more slowly towards their goal than they should be, given the effort they're putting into trying to achieve it.'
OP: as for what to do about it, have a deep think about yourself and your beliefs about yourself and see whether there are any negative beliefs or fears holding you back. Sometimes making lists helps, e.g. "why I want to lose weight" and "what is stopping me from losing weight" and "why I think I can't lose weight" and "why I'm afraid to lose weight" - those kinds of questions... make a list, and see what you come up with... but the list making is only the start, you have to examine every one of those beliefs/fears that is holding you back or pulling you in the opposite direction, and eliminate the belief or find a way to get around all the limitations. Most people when they do this exercise find that most of what's holding them back is totally irrational, and you have to work at replacing the irrational beliefs with rational ones.
A lot of these kinds of beliefs operate at the subconscious level, so you have to do a bit of mental digging (e.g. list writing) to find them and when you've found them you can work on getting rid of them or on changing your beliefs about yourself. There are quite a few self-help books that teach you how to do this, I'd recommend this rather than just following what I've written, because I'm not a psychologist. However I do know how conflicting and self-defeating beliefs can hold you back and lead to self-sabotage that undermines all the effort you put in to achieving your goals. This kind of stuff does work, and like I said, simply "not wanting it enough" is too simplistic an answer at times.
+1 this!0 -
its called motivation, and how bad do you really want it....0
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you can't be brave unless you're afraid.
if you want something bad enough, you will be brave and move past any fear.
but OP is basically saying she would rather sleep than accomplish anything else.
read this, and watch the video at the bottom http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/08/31/is-it-really-worth-it/0 -
From a holistic point of view, perhaps you are missing something.
Take sleep as an example.
If you are deprived of sleep, your body might crave sweets or stimulants to keep you awake. Your workouts won't be as effective. You're body won't be able to recover fully.
If shift work is making it difficult, find time during the day to sleep, or even just set aside a day every week to just sleep or lie in bed and watch movies. Don't eat anything, just let your body recover and rest.
Don't underestimate how things like sleep, sunshine, nutrients, physical activity, hydration, and even spirituality and relationships can effect you. Listen to your body 0
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