Infidelity & MFP - What Gives?

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Iron_Maiden
Iron_Maiden Posts: 326 Member
in Chit-Chat
In my time here, I've witnessed a fair amount of dating, canvasing, flirting, propositioning, attention seeking, etc (whatever you want to call it - in it's many shades) among married people. Tho single, I've been married and and have full respect for the institution (forgive the pun).

I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.

I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?

Thanks,
Becky
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Replies

  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
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    glasses-removal.gif
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Perhaps your definition of infidelity differs to that of other people's?

    Other relationships understand harmless flirting doesn't always lead to rolling around in the bed sheets.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,955 Member
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    In my time here, I've witnessed a fair amount of dating, canvasing, flirting, propositioning, attention seeking, etc (whatever you want to call it - in it's many shades) among married people. Tho single, I've been married and and have full respect for the institution (forgive the pun).

    I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.

    I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?

    Thanks,
    Becky

    Never will get a Friend Request from me.........
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    Jennifer-Lawrence-ok-thumbs-up.gif
  • cmurphy252
    cmurphy252 Posts: 279 Member
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    I cant say that I've seen infidelity in the forums/among my friends (but I also dont normally peruse this "chit-chat" forum because I dont find most of the topics beneficial to my weight loss journey). With that being said, I respect my husband and our marriage so I dont entertain ANY conversations that (1) I wouldnt want him to have with other women and (2) that I would NOT have in his presence.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    A lot of what you see is probably a bunch of friends goofing around with full disclosure to their SO, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. There probably are people who cross the line but I'd bet that's the exception, not the rule.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    A lot of what you see is probably a bunch of friends goofing around with full disclosure to their SO, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. There probably are people who cross the line but I'd bet that's the exception, not the rule.

    ^^ Agree!
  • avlama
    avlama Posts: 502 Member
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    In my time here, I've witnessed a fair amount of dating, canvasing, flirting, propositioning, attention seeking, etc (whatever you want to call it - in it's many shades) among married people. Tho single, I've been married and and have full respect for the institution (forgive the pun).

    I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.

    I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?

    Thanks,
    Becky

    Never will get a Friend Request from me.........

    LOL
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
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    It's not just here, of course ......

    There's those that WILL ...... and those that WON'T ......

    Skip over what bothers you, and enjoy the good stuff :drinker:
  • EponaBlue
    EponaBlue Posts: 96 Member
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  • that_Va_chick
    that_Va_chick Posts: 112
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    I cant say that I've seen infidelity in the forums/among my friends (but I also dont normally peruse this "chit-chat" forum because I dont find most of the topics beneficial to my weight loss journey). With that being said, I respect my husband and our marriage so I dont entertain ANY conversations that (1) I wouldnt want him to have with other women and (2) that I would NOT have in his presence.


    ^^^^^^^^^^^I feel the same way^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. I am on here for one thing and one thing only. Weight loss and if that is not your purpose of being in my MFP circle...you can step!!!
  • MudRunLvr
    MudRunLvr Posts: 226 Member
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    You said something that's going to hit a little too close to home for a lot of people.

    Expect them to react poorly.

    Doesn't mean you're wrong.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
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    My marriage is really none of your business. You couldn't handle the way we do it anyway.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Each couple sets their own rules for a relationship. I don't believe it's any of my business what those rules are or how they choose to go about their relationship. Your idea of infidelity may differ from others' idea of it. If you let how other people choose to go about their marriage affect your views on marriage, well, that's your problem, not theirs.



    ETA: Although, I'm not saying that what you're talking about doesn't happen. Just that I don't focus on it or even worry about it.
  • Iron_Maiden
    Iron_Maiden Posts: 326 Member
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    A lot of what you see is probably a bunch of friends goofing around with full disclosure to their SO, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. There probably are people who cross the line but I'd bet that's the exception, not the rule.
    Sometimes, yep. Most of the time from what I've been told.....nope.
  • InnerConflict
    InnerConflict Posts: 1,592 Member
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    Call me old-fashioned, but I think it is inappropriate to put your feet on your desk.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
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    My marriage is really none of your business. You couldn't handle the way we do it anyway.

    Nasty

    Thank you.
  • Iron_Maiden
    Iron_Maiden Posts: 326 Member
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    You said something that's going to hit a little too close to home for a lot of people.

    Expect them to react poorly.

    Doesn't mean you're wrong.
    Oh yeah....I've got my popcorn out. :drinker:
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