Infidelity & MFP - What Gives?
Iron_Maiden
Posts: 326 Member
in Chit-Chat
In my time here, I've witnessed a fair amount of dating, canvasing, flirting, propositioning, attention seeking, etc (whatever you want to call it - in it's many shades) among married people. Tho single, I've been married and and have full respect for the institution (forgive the pun).
I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.
I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?
Thanks,
Becky
I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.
I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?
Thanks,
Becky
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Perhaps your definition of infidelity differs to that of other people's?
Other relationships understand harmless flirting doesn't always lead to rolling around in the bed sheets.0 -
In my time here, I've witnessed a fair amount of dating, canvasing, flirting, propositioning, attention seeking, etc (whatever you want to call it - in it's many shades) among married people. Tho single, I've been married and and have full respect for the institution (forgive the pun).
I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.
I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?
Thanks,
Becky
Never will get a Friend Request from me.........0 -
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I cant say that I've seen infidelity in the forums/among my friends (but I also dont normally peruse this "chit-chat" forum because I dont find most of the topics beneficial to my weight loss journey). With that being said, I respect my husband and our marriage so I dont entertain ANY conversations that (1) I wouldnt want him to have with other women and (2) that I would NOT have in his presence.0
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A lot of what you see is probably a bunch of friends goofing around with full disclosure to their SO, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. There probably are people who cross the line but I'd bet that's the exception, not the rule.0
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A lot of what you see is probably a bunch of friends goofing around with full disclosure to their SO, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. There probably are people who cross the line but I'd bet that's the exception, not the rule.
^^ Agree!0 -
In my time here, I've witnessed a fair amount of dating, canvasing, flirting, propositioning, attention seeking, etc (whatever you want to call it - in it's many shades) among married people. Tho single, I've been married and and have full respect for the institution (forgive the pun).
I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.
I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?
Thanks,
Becky
Never will get a Friend Request from me.........
LOL0 -
It's not just here, of course ......
There's those that WILL ...... and those that WON'T ......
Skip over what bothers you, and enjoy the good stuff :drinker:0 -
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I cant say that I've seen infidelity in the forums/among my friends (but I also dont normally peruse this "chit-chat" forum because I dont find most of the topics beneficial to my weight loss journey). With that being said, I respect my husband and our marriage so I dont entertain ANY conversations that (1) I wouldnt want him to have with other women and (2) that I would NOT have in his presence.
^^^^^^^^^^^I feel the same way^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. I am on here for one thing and one thing only. Weight loss and if that is not your purpose of being in my MFP circle...you can step!!!0 -
You said something that's going to hit a little too close to home for a lot of people.
Expect them to react poorly.
Doesn't mean you're wrong.0 -
My marriage is really none of your business. You couldn't handle the way we do it anyway.0
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Each couple sets their own rules for a relationship. I don't believe it's any of my business what those rules are or how they choose to go about their relationship. Your idea of infidelity may differ from others' idea of it. If you let how other people choose to go about their marriage affect your views on marriage, well, that's your problem, not theirs.
ETA: Although, I'm not saying that what you're talking about doesn't happen. Just that I don't focus on it or even worry about it.0 -
Sometimes, yep. Most of the time from what I've been told.....nope.A lot of what you see is probably a bunch of friends goofing around with full disclosure to their SO, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. There probably are people who cross the line but I'd bet that's the exception, not the rule.0 -
Call me old-fashioned, but I think it is inappropriate to put your feet on your desk.0
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My marriage is really none of your business. You couldn't handle the way we do it anyway.
Nasty
Thank you.0 -
Oh yeah....I've got my popcorn out. :drinker:You said something that's going to hit a little too close to home for a lot of people.
Expect them to react poorly.
Doesn't mean you're wrong.0 -
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Thank you for sharing your views. I will schedule a Caring Session layer this afternoon if time permits.0
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I cant say that I've seen infidelity in the forums/among my friends (but I also dont normally peruse this "chit-chat" forum because I dont find most of the topics beneficial to my weight loss journey). With that being said, I respect my husband and our marriage so I dont entertain ANY conversations that (1) I wouldnt want him to have with other women and (2) that I would NOT have in his presence.
^^^^^^^^^^^I feel the same way^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. I am on here for one thing and one thing only. Weight loss and if that is not your purpose of being in my MFP circle...you can step!!!
This topic has nothing to do with weight loss, and yet, you replied to it...in the Chit Chat forum. Apparently, weight loss isn't the only thing thing you're here for. You're also here to share your opinion.0 -
I cant say that I've seen infidelity in the forums/among my friends (but I also dont normally peruse this "chit-chat" forum because I dont find most of the topics beneficial to my weight loss journey). With that being said, I respect my husband and our marriage so I dont entertain ANY conversations that (1) I wouldnt want him to have with other women and (2) that I would NOT have in his presence.
My thoughts exactly. I don't reply to many of these posts - only peruse them for my own interest in my weight loss journey. This topic just caught my attention.0 -
Thank you for sharing your views. I will schedule a Caring Session layer this afternoon if time permits.
That's just not right! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
You said something that's going to hit a little too close to home for a lot of people.
Expect them to react poorly.
Doesn't mean you're wrong.0 -
My wife is on my friends list!
You think banter on a website constitutes what exactly??????0 -
Personally I just surround myself with the people who are relatively like-minded with me. Or at least don't advertise the sort of thing you're talking about. I can honestly say that aside from the constant "hot or not" thing I haven't seen it. Of course I'm not looking for it either. Maybe I'm the weird one.
As far as marriage though, I agree with you about cheating. I also see emotional affairs as just as legitimate as physical affairs. People can disagree with me, I know that my belief isn't shared by many (but then again I don't usually bring it up, I usually just put this into practice).
Happily married for 5 years, during which my husband and I overcame infidelity and are stronger for it. Praise God.0 -
Awww, that's awful sweet.Thank you for sharing your views. I will schedule a Caring Session layer this afternoon if time permits.0
This discussion has been closed.
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