I need your opinion on how to respond to a text...

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Replies

  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Yes, You are treading in dangerous territory bro.
    Since there is an attraction there.
    Since she is married and off w/other men.
    Look, I know your hurt man, and she seems like a snake in the grass.
    Better to walk away from all of it.
    Try hanging out with single woman.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Are you friggin serious???
    It sounds like you both have switched roles. That is freaky. Really.

    Usually it's the girl tapping stuff like this out about the guy.
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    Don't , , , EVER!!! Find friends to hang out with that aren't married women. DUH! You're flirtin' with disaster. There's a whole bunch of other folks to hang out with, married men, single women, single men, need I say more? Hangin' out with a married woman without her husband around is a lose/lose situation.
  • wadedawg
    wadedawg Posts: 315
    Best thing you could have done was act like nothing had happened, be cordial at the gym, and back off on the contact from there. Now you've already acted juvenile, she knows you're pissed, you really have no right to be, and being the *kitten* again is unavoidable.

    My advice: Tell her you were having a bad day, you'll talk to her later, and leave her the hell alone from there.
  • OldManOfTheSea
    OldManOfTheSea Posts: 33 Member
    so where is her husband in all this lol just saying..smh

    Mostly likely he's busy at the gentleman's club.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    you may not have sealed the deal yet but it sounds like youre in a relationship with her.

    i disagree with tucker, it is possible to be friends with married women (even hot married women) and never expect anything out of it. my best friend happens to be married, happily and with two adorable kids. people always ask if her husband is ok with this cause we either text or call each other once every few weeks, and when she is back up this way we try to make time to either hang out at her dads place or go grab a beer.
  • SlimJanette
    SlimJanette Posts: 597 Member
    If if were me, I wouldn't bother.

    But here are a couple...

    "Nothing is wrong, I'm busy with chores, I mean golfing, I mean chores."

    "I was upset because you ditched me for golfing. I'm over it now, let's go get coffee."

    +This. Use sarcasam to show that you are upset. You guys are supposed to be friends and she can't even go over and say hi. I think she did it so there was no confrontation at the gym because she likely knows that you are upset and it is her fault.
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    Just wondering what her husband is thinking. Maybe I'm possessive but if my wife was constantly going out with other guys I dunno just doesn't seem right to me.
  • koko12
    koko12 Posts: 81 Member
    i've felt this way before, with one of my friends (thats a girl) and i would go out of my way to hang out with her blablabla and shed have random excuses and then id see on her fcbk that she went out or whatever.

    i pretty much stopped talking to her. i felt like i was put on the backburner. we were like BESTIES but i refuse to be on the backburner when shes being *besties* with someone else. ya know what i mean. lifes too short to be feelin like **** cause someone isnt holding you to the same standard you hold them

    I've had friends like this too - sometimes they come back around. people go through phases.

    yeah shes done it to me twice. so i just keep her at a distance. ive known her forever. but i dont have time to get my feelings hurt.
  • RachelSRoach1
    RachelSRoach1 Posts: 435 Member
    it might be time to stop hanging out with her honestly it sounds like you are both setting yourself up for something bad to happen

    THIS
  • koko12
    koko12 Posts: 81 Member
    OP, tell her how you feel. if she makes it your fault. shes selfish. and seriously, put yourself first whenever it comes to you and her. yeah she gets you, and you two do cheat meals together etc. but you dont have time for bull****. let her figure out her own problem
  • jenwalton
    jenwalton Posts: 87 Member
    I don't know this person, but based on experiences of people I know, it sounds like a possibility that even if you think it's platonic, she doesn't want to have an affair with you... YET. Or she just likes lots of male attention from outside her marriage. It could be that she WANTED you to find her instagram pictures with other dudes to make you jealous.

    I'm married, and I do have male friends, but a male friend who I regularly hang out with who is close enough to regularly start drama with? Um... that doesn't even sound normal.

    Sorry.

    To be honest with you, you should ask yourself what you are getting out of this friendship. She doesn't sound like a good friend.

    I've gotta wonder what her husband thinks of all this?
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    First - she is married to someone else and is not your girlfriend.

    Second - she didn't invite you because she didn't want you there.

    Third - get over it,

    I had a guy friend just like you an you know what happened between us? We are no longer friends because I do not do clingy... and if a friend gets mad because I go out with other friends I have no time for that.

    Should she have told you the truth about the golf tournament? yeah maybe but maybe she did have plans to do chores and errands and maybe her plans chagned.

    But really just get over it.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
    Well first there's always the possibility that she upload the pictures to Instagram from the night/day before...

    If that's not the case then tell her the truth ...

    "I was feeling very alienated. I feel like you lied to me about doing chores so you could get out of hanging out with me. I don't mind if you hang out with other friends, but I would really prefer to not be lied to."
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
    After reading that I feel a little embarrassed being a guy. I think you would be all over her if she would just make a move huh?
  • Skratchie
    Skratchie Posts: 131 Member
    Just wondering what her husband is thinking. Maybe I'm possessive but if my wife was constantly going out with other guys I dunno just doesn't seem right to me.


    I wouldn't want my husband hanging out with women without me all the time. I don't understand where her husband is in all of this ...
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Well first there's always the possibility that she upload the pictures to Instagram from the night/day before...

    If that's not the case then tell her the truth ...

    "I was feeling very alienated. I feel like you lied to me about doing chores so you could get out of hanging out with me. I don't mind if you hang out with other friends, but I would really prefer to not be lied to."

    this is a smart, well thought out, and insightful response.


    GTFO.
  • DistantJ
    DistantJ Posts: 155 Member
    It's not okay with her to be such close friends with a man who isn't her husband. She shouldn't be "hanging out" with you at all, nor her other male friends, unless her husband is there. Seriously. What are y'all thinking?
  • Ben2118
    Ben2118 Posts: 571 Member
    Maybe she lied about the golfing because she knew you would have a hissy fit if she told you she had other plans?
    Or the fact that her husband thinks something is up and she wants to distance herself from you a little and doesn't know how to, end of the day, it's up to her to do and say what she wants. There is always a reason and yes, it is usually the other persons fault for them having to make a white lie up.

    I thought some girls were high maintenance, damn!!
  • HealthyLifestyleG525
    HealthyLifestyleG525 Posts: 64 Member
    Uh...you sound jealous. Like, boyfriend jealous. Maybe you don't *intend* to do anything, but I think this is headed down a bad path.


    This. Things can turn sexual in the blink of an eye. You don't want to be part of that...stick to your principles and stay the heck away
  • rwhawkes
    rwhawkes Posts: 117 Member
    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them. IMHO, as others have said, this is a dangerous situation and you totally need to be honest with yourself and let go.
  • tross0924
    tross0924 Posts: 909 Member
    Well first there's always the possibility that she upload the pictures to Instagram from the night/day before...

    If that's not the case then tell her the truth ...

    "I was feeling very alienated. I feel like you lied to me about doing chores so you could get out of hanging out with me. I don't mind if you hang out with other friends, but I would really prefer to not be lied to."

    this is a smart, well thought out, and insightful response.


    GTFO.

    lol Sorry.

    GTFO now . . .:laugh:
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    She is married. End of story.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them. IMHO, as others have said, this is a dangerous situation and you totally need to be honest with yourself and let go.

    fact: only a sith deals in absolutes.
  • CristyMusicLovr
    CristyMusicLovr Posts: 179 Member
    Take this issue to Jerry Springer! The audience will most likely yell "shes a *kitten*"
  • booncey
    booncey Posts: 75 Member
    Sounds like she is playing games. Somebody likes being chased....don't fall for that trap. If you truly just want to be friends with her then I would opt for telling her the truth. Sounds like you may be feeling rejected and that's not a fun feeling. She obviously doesn't have a problem with making you feel that way, so I would definitely question her motives.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them. IMHO, as others have said, this is a dangerous situation and you totally need to be honest with yourself and let go.

    guys are attracted to

    a hole
    its wet
    hasnt been dead longer than 3 days

    thats the fact

    but it is very well possible to be friends with the opposite sex whom you are not sexually attracted to unless you only see women as whether they are are effable or not

    sorry not all guys are like that
  • CristyMusicLovr
    CristyMusicLovr Posts: 179 Member
    By the way? where tha fu*k is the husband at? lol
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
    dude?

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