I need your opinion on how to respond to a text...

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Replies

  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them. IMHO, as others have said, this is a dangerous situation and you totally need to be honest with yourself and let go.

    fact: only a sith deals in absolutes.

    Well guys. Close up the internet. That's it. Won't get any better from here. We have a winner.
  • emrogers
    emrogers Posts: 328 Member
    i guess, my first question is:
    #1 Where is her husband when you're asking her to hang out with her on the weekends?
    #2 I'm thinking you're over the age of 11, and therefore can ask her up front why she lied to you or ditched you.
    #3 she sounds like she's a drama filled woman and therefore you shouldn't want any part of this.
    #4 maybe she doesn't think she hurt your feelings becuase like you've said, you don't ever intend it to go anywhere so why should she care or not if she's hurting your feelings; SHE'S MARRIED!
    #5 sounds like you're jealous. Sorry but you sound straight up like you're hating. she's hanging out with other friends not you.
    #6 find new friends!!!!! make sure they're NOT MARRIED!!!!!

    Good luck
  • rwhawkes
    rwhawkes Posts: 117 Member
    Hmmm. Looks as if I spoke out of turn with my Dwight Schrute assertions.

    Withdrawn.
  • Behxo
    Behxo Posts: 1,190 Member
    wait, WHAT?? You believe for a fact there is sexual frustration between the two of you, don't want to interfere with her marriage and yet you're still trying to find a way to keep the friendship? Sense...it makes none.
  • zietlowdm
    zietlowdm Posts: 1
    I agree.. Not really a friendship you should be in anyway.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    By the way? where tha fu*k is the husband at? lol

    sending an angry text to his female friend who blew him off to go to a golf outting....
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Look, if the sexual tension is there AND you don't want to be a home wrecker AND you are this upset because she hung out with someone else and wasn't truthful about it, then you probably shouldn't be hanging out with her. Like others have said, this is a bad situation that is going to lead to a bad end.

    If you want to keep the friendship, then you need to just keep it at polite conversation, and for God's sake, find a real girlfriend! Someone who is available to you because this chick isn't, and you obviously desire more than just her friendship.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Take this issue to Jerry Springer! The audience will most likely yell "shes a *kitten*"

    :love: :love: :love: :love:
    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
  • LauraDotts
    LauraDotts Posts: 732 Member
    So I have a friend that I always get into fights and arguments with. She always turns it around and makes me out to be the bad guy/ a-hole.
    And, you are friends why? Do you like fighting?
    I think we fight so much because there's some sexual tension between us. She's married
    The moment there is sexual tension with a married friend is the moment the friendship should end.

    Don't respond to the text unless it is to say that you have realized that your friendship with her is putting her marriage at risk and therefore you have decided to back waaaaay out of this relationship. Then suggest she and her husband get marital counseling.
  • kookanddra
    kookanddra Posts: 92
    Sounds like your in love with her. You really need to admit to yourself where you are at emotionally with this, break it off and move on since she's married.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Dude, you sound like a whiny lil b*tch. Man up and stop catching feelings.

    I thought the same thing but I didn't want to express it *quite* like that.
  • kuderstadt
    kuderstadt Posts: 134 Member
    I'd just go with telling her you're annoyed she lied. That's basically what I'm getting from all of this... never mind all the 'you shouldn't be friends' or whatever else, we're all human, and we all get a bit butt-hurt when we're lied to. :-(
  • LuckyMe000
    LuckyMe000 Posts: 55
    it might be time to stop hanging out with her honestly it sounds like you are both setting yourself up for something bad to happen

    This...only bad things can happen...even if you dont mean for it to....
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    You're hot... get a girl who is not already taken.
  • kmorales_4
    kmorales_4 Posts: 208 Member
    You've got it bad for this girl. Spare your pretty little heart the additional pain of trying to hold on and try to get over her.

    Love sucks sometimes. Sorry :(
  • IamOnMywayNow
    IamOnMywayNow Posts: 470 Member
    wait, WHAT?? You believe for a fact there is sexual frustration between the two of you, don't want to interfere with her marriage and yet you're still trying to find a way to keep the friendship? Sense...it makes none.

    ^^^^^^THIS totally THIS!!
  • mleech77
    mleech77 Posts: 557 Member
    I think you're being overly sensitive about the situation. If one of your male friends pulled this on you would you be reacting this way? What would you say to the guy? Personally I have a lot of female friends, and I basically treat them no different than my male friends.

    It's entirely possible it was a last minute thing. I know I've told friends I couldn't hang out with them cause of work or something. Later on when I was given hockey tickets work was the furthest thing from my mind and I went to the game.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    wait, WHAT?? You believe for a fact there is sexual frustration between the two of you, don't want to interfere with her marriage and yet you're still trying to find a way to keep the friendship? Sense...it makes none.

    ^^^^Yeah.
    Get a girlfriend. Make sure she isn't married.
    Also, this "good friend" of yours? She is not a good friend. Get new ones.
  • Ashshell
    Ashshell Posts: 185
    When it comes to friends (male, female, married, single), you should always be honest about how they make you feel. If you're upset that she blew you off and lied about it, just tell her. Let her know that you don't care if she would prefer to go play golf with another group of guys instead of hanging out with you, but it does hurt your feelings when she lies to you about it. Ignoring her and acting like a baby isn't going to get you anywhere.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    OP, so just how big is her husband and do you enjoy pain?
    Bottom line, she is married and you are single......better run buddy, you dont need that kind of drama in your life.........
    He may even have Joey Grecco watching you both and trust me, you don't wantt to end up on Cheaters............

    good luck
  • saviarre
    saviarre Posts: 26 Member
    My biggest reaction to this is not that she blew you off to go golfing. My biggest WTH moment with this was that she never approaches you at the gym.... she waits for you to approach her...

    This strikes me as someone who wants to be the center of attention... someone who is using you to make her feel better about herself... When you approach her, it makes her feel desirable. If she were to approach you, it would feel less like you were chasing her, and therefore isn't something she wants.

    Personally, my advice is to stop approaching. If she really is into the friendship for the friendship that it should be, there should be mutual approaching...

    In regards to the text, I'd respond with something along the lines of "Upset or not, you can still come say hi."
  • thenewlg
    thenewlg Posts: 11
    So the woman you want to cheat on her husband with you is cheating on you with her guy friends? Stop. Just stop.

    You clearly missed the part where I said that I've never made a move on her and that I have no intention in the world of being involved in an extra-marital affair.

    I don't think it was missed at all, I think she's spot on. You need to STOP. I have never in my life seen a guy over analyze a situation like this. If you are this bent out of shape about her, you are in WAY too deep and need to do just what this poster said, just stop. She's married and that means you need to get her out of your head...stat.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    say that you were insulted because after telling you she was so busy with chores and couldn't find any time to hang out, she went out and did something else instead.
    she sounds like a rude b!tch and people deserve to have better friends than that.
  • Sactown900
    Sactown900 Posts: 162 Member
    Uh...you sound jealous. Like, boyfriend jealous. Maybe you don't *intend* to do anything, but I think this is headed down a bad path.

    Great point.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    Sexual tension between you and a married woman is not a healthy relationship.

    Do yourself a favor and just chill with people that don't upset you. Too many fish in the sea for friendships and romantic relationships to being getting miffed over this nonsense.
  • LauraDotts
    LauraDotts Posts: 732 Member
    You clearly missed the part where I said that I've never made a move on her and that I have no intention in the world of being involved in an extra-marital affair.
    Nobody intends on being involved in an extra-marital affair.
  • jfrankic
    jfrankic Posts: 747 Member
    So I have a friend that I always get into fights and arguments with. She always turns it around and makes me out to be the bad guy/ a-hole. I think we fight so much because there's some sexual tension between us. She's married and of course doesn't want to cheat on her husband. And I have no wish to have or be apart of an extra-marital affair. I have never made a move on her, etc.

    Anyway, we will occasionally hang out or go out to dinner together for our cheat meal. Lately we haven't been hanging out a lot, even though I've made time for her and tried to get her to get out of the house to have some fun.
    So last weekend I had the weekend off and she had Sunday off. I texted her on Saturday seeing if she wanted to hang out, go shooting, or do something else fun. She said she would be too busy doing things around the house and running errands. Ok, no biggie, we're all busy with day to day chores.

    So, y'all are dating, just not having sex? Sorry, I should've stated this way.... So, y'all are dating, just not having sex.

    (note the change in punctuation? subtle, but it's there.)
  • onedayatatime410
    onedayatatime410 Posts: 42 Member
    This woman is not your wife or SO. You are friends. It's not that serious and it makes no sense that you feel this way unless you have feelings for her that really aren't warranted. Shouldn't be building that close of a relationship with a married woman anyway. There are plenty of women that are single in this world that would love your company, bro.

    That's just my opinion.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    She is married, end of story. She should not be having dinners with you unless her husband is aware and joining you both. You sound like you have more invested than you want to admit, regardless of what your "said intentions are". Saying hi at the gym is one thing, dating another man's wife....not okay, dude...
  • LetsTryThisAgain54
    LetsTryThisAgain54 Posts: 381 Member
    Damn! Just call her husband and talk to him about her to see what's going on! No one probably knows her better than him. Maybe he can help you out with this.

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