I need your opinion on how to respond to a text...

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  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    It's not okay with her to be such close friends with a man who isn't her husband. She shouldn't be "hanging out" with you at all, nor her other male friends, unless her husband is there. Seriously. What are y'all thinking?

    Really?! So, if I get married I have to cut out of my life all of my male friends and stop hanging out with them unless my husband is also with me?! Really?!

    I happen to think that the OP and his friend may be treading on some thinning ice given the apparent sexual tension, but to assert that married women shouldn't hang out with male friends without their husbands being present? In what century are we living?!
    I So Agree!!! I'm not going to ask my husband if its okay to hang with my friends!! Just like he doesn't ask if he can hang with his friends!

    Yeah, me three.

    I don't get the "you can't be friends with the opposite sex if you're dating or married" thing on MFP.

    But it comes up a lot.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
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    2ue1apd.gif
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    she's married and unavailable . if there's so much sexual tension then it's not right you're "friends" .

    sorry bit the situation sounds a bit trifling to me , regardless if what the text says or doesn't say you should just move on and let this sketchy sounding friendship go.
  • kookanddra
    kookanddra Posts: 92
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    Damn! Just call her husband and talk to him about her to see what's going on! No one probably knows her better than him. Maybe he can help you out with this.

    LOL
    I think you should go and visit her husband and tell him that you're mad at HIS wife for hanging out with other guys instead of you. But wait until someone is around with a camcorder. I'll want to see what happens once it's posted to youtube.

    This!! Me too
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    It's not okay with her to be such close friends with a man who isn't her husband. She shouldn't be "hanging out" with you at all, nor her other male friends, unless her husband is there. Seriously. What are y'all thinking?

    Really?! So, if I get married I have to cut out of my life all of my male friends and stop hanging out with them unless my husband is also with me?! Really?!

    I happen to think that the OP and his friend may be treading on some thinning ice given the apparent sexual tension, but to assert that married women shouldn't hang out with male friends without their husbands being present? In what century are we living?!
    I So Agree!!! I'm not going to ask my husband if its okay to hang with my friends!! Just like he doesn't ask if he can hang with his friends!

    Yeah, me three.

    I don't get the "you can't be friends with the opposite sex if you're dating or married" thing on MFP.

    But it comes up a lot.

    having opposite sex friends is fine this situation has crossed the line.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    So the woman you want to cheat on her husband with you is cheating on you with her guy friends? Stop. Just stop.


    LOL UM YES
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    She is married. End of story.



    Rings don't plug holes.
























    Sorry I don't actually think that. Just trollin'.
  • HealthyLifestyleG525
    HealthyLifestyleG525 Posts: 64 Member
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    She is married. End of story.



    Rings don't plug holes.

    This^^^^^^^^^^^
    HAHAHAHAHAHA
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
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    Sounds like your in love with her. You really need to admit to yourself where you are at emotionally with this, break it off and move on since she's married.

    Yes. And don't listen to all that say you are being "girly" or "whiney" - guys are entitled to feelings, too.
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,831 Member
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    "So, yeah, maybe I got a little snarked last weekend when I found out you did this golf tournament thing with some dude after I'd checked in to see if you wanted to hang and you said you had to errands and stuff. It's no big deal or anything, but it did kinda feel like you blew me off."

    This and and then accept the limited role you have in her life and go forth and live your own life. Friends drift away from each other. No harm, no foul. Besides, you say you and she snark at each other. That doesn't sound like a very healthy friendship to me. Get friends you don't need to fight with.

    I had/have a good friend and co-author wherein we snarked at each other because of a combination of attraction and lack of chemistry between us. (Neither of us was dating anyone.) We travelled together and people would mistake us for brother and sister because that's how we behaved. Luckily, he moved out of state. In some ways this left me freer to meet my husband. He and I were great co-authors, we're good professional colleagues, we can talk on the phone on occasion, but our relationship has reached its appropriate level -- distant and not reliant on each other. He and I weren't meant to be reliant on each other but at a distance we are better able to have the limited friendship that is good for both of us.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Somewhere right now, there is a 13 year old girl and 6 of her friends who are looking at a text from a boy and not spending this much time overanalyzing it
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    Any other options?? Opinions?? Help??

    Your friend seems like the type of girl who needs a lot of attention. Do you know it her husband has issues with the friendship she has with you? You are a nice looking guy. I can see why she likes keeping you around. And even though you are not willing to engage in an affair with her, I am sure you can see how even a friendship like the one you have with her, might not be entirely innocent. The way you felt by her betrayal is pretty indicative of that.

    I say, be polite. . . but don't respond to her texts and keep your in person conversations with her to hi and bye. Let her string other guys along and focus your time and energy on people who are worthy of your companionship.

    Good luck!
    MB
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them. IMHO, as others have said, this is a dangerous situation and you totally need to be honest with yourself and let go.

    ^^ Total myth. My best friend of 16 years (we're 31 now) is a straight male. We've talked about having sex in the past - we both agree that it would just be weird.
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Somewhere right now, there is a 13 year old girl and 6 of her friends who are looking at a text from a boy and not spending this much time overanalyzing it
    Bingo

    Let me guess... "But I really like her..." Waaaaaa!
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them. IMHO, as others have said, this is a dangerous situation and you totally need to be honest with yourself and let go.

    ^^ Total myth. My best friend of 16 years (we're 31 now) is a straight male. We've talked about having sex in the past - we both agree that it would just be weird.


    Sure doesn't sound like you have disproved this as a myth.
  • CM9178
    CM9178 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    I have a couple male friends but I would never hang out with them without my husband around, period. And I wouldn't put up with him hanging out with female friends without me. If your spouse feels the need to hang out with people of the opposite sex, without you, then there is a problem in your marriage. Yes, you can be friends with people of the opposite sex, but there is a line..this girl sounds like she is constantly spending time with random guy friends without her husband. HUGE RED FLAG.
    My husband has always said - and I agree 100% - a guy cannot be friends only with a girl - if he is "friends" with a girl - he wants to get in her pants. Coming from a guy - I believe him totally.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,293 Member
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    tl;dr but response to EVERY email ever sent is:

    when you gonna let me tap dat!
  • CM9178
    CM9178 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them.
    Agreed 150%. My husband says this all the time. Or the guy is gay.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,293 Member
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    Fact: guys don't have female friends unless they're attracted to them.
    Agreed 150%. My husband says this all the time. Or the guy is gay.

    OMG I am attracted to too many women. Or....
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    Damn! Just call her husband and talk to him about her to see what's going on! No one probably knows her better than him. Maybe he can help you out with this.

    I see what you did there -- brilliant.

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