People need to help each other-not argue.
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I think because many of us have been doing this for so long we know what works, what doesn't, what has been said to us by nutritionists etc etc etc....everything conflicts. That's why I find that when someone is having trouble with losing weight or whatever its hard to put your opinion across.
More than likely, conflicting information happens when
1) someone is being ignorant
2) someone doesn't have enough perspective on the conversation (too close-minded or short sighted).0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
haha okay then well; as previously written i have apologised as i didnt read that post thoroughly enough obviously.
so are you trying to judge a book by its cover and say i dont know anything about weight-loss also? that isnt intended as rude i just would like to know.0 -
I don't pretend to know everything, so I don't get offended when someone corrects me. I also don't run around giving people incorrect advice out of some misguided need to feel supportive.0
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You've contradicted yourself with your own words a number of times in this thread alone.
You've said no one is an expert, everyone's different (common misconception) and we should all support each other. You've also said this place has a bunch of bad information and you've been at this so long that you know what works (you joined MFP this month).
From the looks of things you gave bad advice in a thread and someone pointed it out. That's generally why people start these threads.
Sorry. I know it stings and it's not a fun feeling. But it's a wonderful chance for you to learn something. That will serve you better than telling everyone else how to behave.
Take a breath and step away from the computer for a minute. This does not have to be a big dea.0 -
Sometimes responses can be rude, sometimes they can be contrary . . . I find that people who just want to be validated regardless of the error of their logic/ways/blah confuse these two.
Some opinions can be wrong, if there are facts that proves opinions wrong opinions are wrong and people need to deal with it.
Concise or direct answers aren't rude, they're just given by people who don't have time to coddle.0 -
Arguing/debating points on forums IS helping people. By virtue of the debating, each side has a chance to present its case. I like to call that Pushing The BS Button. If you call attention to someone who makes a claim and cannot back it up with facts, they are BS'ing. Nutrition, especially, is rife with misinformation and partial anecdotal evidence. You may hear someone say that they know someone who lost x amount of pounds doing y, but fail to include all of the circumstances around it and if they were able to maintain that weightloss.
It is important to debate these points so that newer people have access to REAL information without having to wade through a sea of nonsense. And perceiving blunt truth as rudeness is a weakness on your part. I recommend lifting to bulk up your skin.0 -
You've contradicted yourself with your own words a number of times in this thread alone.
You've said no one is an expert, everyone's different (common misconception) and we should all support each other. You've also said this place has a bunch of bad information and you've been at this so long that you know what works (you joined MFP this month).
From the looks of things you gave bad advice in a thread and someone pointed it out. That's generally why people start these threads.
Sorry. I know it stings and it's not a fun feeling. But it's a wonderful chance for you to learn something. That will serve you better than telling everyone else how to behave.
Take a breath and step away from the computer for a minute. This does not have to be a big dea.
ok. firstly, i started tracking calories about two months ago with mfp-but this doesnt mean i havent been exercising and doing hiit for a while. so please dont try and say i dont know anything. thankyou for your advice.0 -
Wow, I just read the topic you responded to that spurred this thread. He wasn't being rude to you at all.
For those interested in what transpired to create this thread, here you go.Muscle weighs more than fat, so it could be that you've gained a bit of muscle mass and lost some fat over the past couple of days. have you eaten much protein?
NO...
1) You don't gain any appreciable muscle while at a deficit of calories; building muscle requires a surplus. You cannot be anabolic and catabolic at the same time.
2) You most certainly don't put on 5 Lbs of muscle in three days...a male with decent genetics who has a spot on diet and spends a good deal of time in the weight room might put on 6 Lbs of actual muscle in an entire year.
Was just simply trying to help. no need to be rude.0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.
Completely agree.0 -
That person may have been blunt, but they were also correct. You really can't put on 5 lbs of muscle in 3 days. They didn't call you names or anything, they just said "that's wrong, it can't happen". How do you think should someone correct mis-information, other than that?
That is different than arguing about whether someone should eat their exercise calories or go with a tdee-based cut or eat once a day or eat six times a day or cut down on carbs or many of the other squabbles. For that kind of stuff, there really are different strokes for different folks, and "whatever makes you stick to your eating plan" is a huge part.0 -
Also like life a sense of humor dosed with humility goes a long way.0
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I've noticed that people take differing opinions as arguing/rude/mean spirited. I think the better advice is to take everything with a grain of salt and toughen up. The mods take care of the really bad posts when they rile enough feathers. I'd rather read a lively discussion with dissenting opinions than a whole bunch of people saying "Yeah, that's great! Good job! Good luck! Hope it works for you!"
One can bring new ideas and challenge possibly bad information. The other is just a bunch of hugging and useless garbage.
Well said, ITA.0 -
Respectful discussion and disagreement is healthy and productive and people learn from it. Unfortunately, there are a few people, online and in real life, we've all met them, who, when they choose to correct or disagree, like to use sarcasm and condescension, which adds nothing productive and is not conducive to a good discussion. It then results in people getting defensive. That's where the problem is.
"Forget it, Jake, it's Internet Town."0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.
Completely agree.
“We find comfort among those who agree with us-- growth among those who don't.” Frank A Clark0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
haha okay then well; as previously written i have apologised as i didnt read that post thoroughly enough obviously.
so are you trying to judge a book by its cover and say i dont know anything about weight-loss also? that isnt intended as rude i just would like to know.
Could you point me to the place where BeachGinger said you don't know anything about weight loss? Thanks.0 -
You've contradicted yourself with your own words a number of times in this thread alone.
You've said no one is an expert, everyone's different (common misconception) and we should all support each other. You've also said this place has a bunch of bad information and you've been at this so long that you know what works (you joined MFP this month).
From the looks of things you gave bad advice in a thread and someone pointed it out. That's generally why people start these threads.
Sorry. I know it stings and it's not a fun feeling. But it's a wonderful chance for you to learn something. That will serve you better than telling everyone else how to behave.
Take a breath and step away from the computer for a minute. This does not have to be a big dea.
ok. firstly, i started tracking calories about two months ago with mfp-but this doesnt mean i havent been exercising and doing hiit for a while. so please dont try and say i dont know anything. thankyou for your advice.
You said no one here knows anything. So which is it? A website full of people who've lost weight using MFP for years don't know anything, or you do because you've been at it for a few months?
You're coming off like a hurt child. Just step away for a minute and you'll see you're taking this far too personally. You'll laugh about it later.0 -
Arguing/debating points on forums IS helping people. By virtue of the debating, each side has a chance to present its case....
...And perceiving blunt truth as rudeness is a weakness on your part. I recommend lifting to bulk up your skin.
Yup ^^.0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.
Completely agree.
“We find comfort among those who agree with us-- growth among those who don't.” Frank A Clark
It can't be better said than that. Thank you for this quote, it's going in my permanent memory now.0
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