FRs without messages

2

Replies

  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    its irritating but understandable. I mean, to many folks who don't socialize much on MFP forums it might be just an topional thing and in their mind... who could possibly refuse a new friend?!?! Thats what we're on this support site for right? To get friends who support each other?

    They haven't realized that part yet.

    Also, on cell phone apps I think there is no add message box (I think. Correct me if wrong)

    Then there are people who simply add without looking at a profile.

    Then you get people who assume you already know them (when you don't really).

    In the end, not a big deal. There could be worst things. Like a message saying "Lets be Pals!". My answer is always always "Calm down and lets not"
  • AlbertJDaniel
    AlbertJDaniel Posts: 13
    If you don't accept fr without a message that your choice just delete it and move on.
  • BleedsCoffee
    BleedsCoffee Posts: 247 Member
    Taunto has a good point. I once received a FR with the message "Hey, so ur a dominatrix?". Yes, I am a Dominatrix. No, I don't want to be friends with you based upon you finding that interesting.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I care more about their goals and whether or not I might be of assistance to them or vice versa. My FL has grown a lot in the past 6 months or so, and I'm finding it more difficult to keep up with everyone, so I have stopped accepting every request I get. If there's no message, I will check out the person's profile. If it looks like we might have some goals in common and could help each other, then I'll add them. If not, or if their profile is empty or hidden, I'll decline.
  • C12254
    C12254 Posts: 198 Member
    I dont put much thought into it. personally i find it difficult to send a genuine message to strangers. but i refuse to use a generic message for everyone too. if im sending a FR its because we have similar goals or i find you to be inspiring. i used to include messages with requests and no one ever replied to the message anyways. so it was a waste of my time trying to think of things to write.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    no i dont care
    and sometimes i dont send people a message just the friends requst
    and sometimes i do send message
    dont let it bother u
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I generally check out the person's profile. If that's blocked and it's a guy I decline, if their profile is private and it's a chick I double check to see if they're a member of my community group before I make a decision. However, if your profile is set to private it doesn't matter if you explicitly request a message or not, they can't see your "about me" section to read that.
  • JuneyJo
    JuneyJo Posts: 182 Member
    I don't mean to be a troll, but don't you just find it really annoying when you get a friend request without a message, especially when the first sentence on your profile states very clearly that a message or note is required when sending a friend request?

    How many of you here get FRs without messages when you've made it clear that one should be included? As much as I hate doing it, I ignore FRs with no messages. I don't care how hot the person in the avatar is!

    If your profile is only viewable by friends, people sending you requests can't see your request. I haven't trolled your profile so it might not be the issue here, I've just noticed that on a few of my now-friends.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    I think it's a pretty good idea to read someone's profile before sending a friend request.. also it's nice to send a note to explaining why you think you should be friends. I have around 70 friends and we are all pretty actively logging so it's hard to keep up with the friends I already have.. but if someone really seems like we'd give each other good support then I'll accept.

    I received a request from a woman whose name and pic I recognized because she had been ranting in a thread about how Weight Loss Surgery was the quitter's way out and how she had zero respect for anyone who would even consider it, and how infuriating she found if a weight loss surgery patient would comment to her about trying to control portions.. because they "don't understand how hard it is to do it the RIGHT way" (she was around 200 pounds over weight, over eating by a lot, and hadn't been able to lose any weight yet) ... blah blah blah.. Did she even READ my profile where I clearly stated that I had WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY IN MARCH??????
  • AlbertJDaniel
    AlbertJDaniel Posts: 13
    change your setting if it is a major problem for you.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Taunto has a good point. I once received a FR with the message "Hey, so ur a dominatrix?". Yes, I am a Dominatrix. No, I don't want to be friends with you based upon you finding that interesting.

    Prepare to receive (another) billion or so of those. :love:
  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    I don't really care, I'll accept pretty much any add. I figure there's always the delete button if either one of us changes our mind later on.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I don't accept if there's no message. I'm not good about deleting people even if they aren't a good fit so I try to be pretty picky about adding in the first place.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    I like it when there's no message. Makes it a lot easier to just click "deny". Then I don't have to bother reading their profile or whatever else.
  • BleedsCoffee
    BleedsCoffee Posts: 247 Member
    Taunto has a good point. I once received a FR with the message "Hey, so ur a dominatrix?". Yes, I am a Dominatrix. No, I don't want to be friends with you based upon you finding that interesting.

    Prepare to receive (another) billion or so of those. :love:
    But there's so much more to me! I'm not a piece of meat!
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
    Interesting mix of opinions! I like that. I guess it's not such a big deal if FRs don't have a message. I have to admit though, if I've seen the person in the forums and we share common goals or have other things in common, I will be inclined to accept even when there's no message. OMG, do I sound like a hypocrite now?
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Taunto has a good point. I once received a FR with the message "Hey, so ur a dominatrix?". Yes, I am a Dominatrix. No, I don't want to be friends with you based upon you finding that interesting.

    Prepare to receive (another) billion or so of those. :love:
    But there's so much more to me! I'm not a piece of meat!

    Sure you are :wink:
  • TravisBikes
    TravisBikes Posts: 674 Member
    Counting to see how many blank FR's I need to send today.
  • lripson28
    lripson28 Posts: 213 Member
    I'll add anyone as long as they have a pic and a profile that is somewhat filled out. But if they don't log in for a month, I delete them.
  • LandonRand
    LandonRand Posts: 166
    Man some of you guys require more of a litmus test to be friends on here than what is usually required in real life! Note justifying why, requirements on how often they log in, etc. :)
  • BOOMaggedon
    BOOMaggedon Posts: 244 Member
    Taunto has a good point. I once received a FR with the message "Hey, so ur a dominatrix?". Yes, I am a Dominatrix. No, I don't want to be friends with you based upon you finding that interesting.

    c9X6n.gif
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I have been here for almost 4 years. I never send out friend requests and I rarely accept them. That's probably why I only have 8 friends. 2, of which, are my daughters.

    I need to see a real interest to accept a request, and 99% iof the time I unfriend them later. Most of the people are just looking for a lot of "friends". I want to see something in common, unless you have big boobs. Then I'll accept just long enough to look at your profile pics.
  • d9123
    d9123 Posts: 531 Member
    I don't accept any friend requests, however if I did I would rather them send a message with the request too.

    strong e - brag
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    here's how I handle it....
    z72431423.gif
    "I want to play a game......" \m/
  • Excuse_less
    Excuse_less Posts: 874 Member
    I don't require a message or an explanation of why they want to be friends............although I love it when they take the time to write one !
  • Lacey_Cakes
    Lacey_Cakes Posts: 223 Member
    I don't mind getting FR without messages. Im not trying to inflate my ego by making you write an essay on why you wanna be my friend. Lets just be friends bro/broette
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    I only accept friend requests with messages.

    Dirty messages.
  • Unknown
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  • CarolElaine25
    CarolElaine25 Posts: 102 Member
    I'm not looking to garner a large friend list. Most of my friends on my (small) list are friends in real life, so I really don't want their posts/comments to get lost in the signal noise on the news feed. I have occasionally sent out a friend request when I've read something on the forums or blogs that resonated with me. In those cases I've sent a message letting these people know why I sent the request. I would like the same in return and those few requests I have accepted did attach a message.

    My profile does mention my preference for a personal note and why. I'm really not trying to be snobby. I'm just more comfortable with a smaller group.
  • Lacey_Cakes
    Lacey_Cakes Posts: 223 Member
    I only accept friend requests with messages.

    Dirty messages.

    One time I slipped in a puddle. A muddy puddle. Be my friend?

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