"Stop losing weight!" Uggggh.
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Oh man, that was the MOST irritating thing that people said to me! "Girl, you're too skinny! You can skip your workout today!" Or, "Hey, we're having pizza and ice cream! Here's a huge plate! You're so skinny, it's ok if you indulge a bit!"
And it literally got to me so much, that I actually did begin to skip working out, and I *did* just "indulge, this once, it's ok!" until I gained pretty much ALL of my weight back!
I am so mad at and disappointed in myself for letting people like this get into my head and ruin all the great progress I had made. I was less than 10 pounds from my goal when I began to "live a little, just have some fun!" and completely did a 180.
So now I'm back a square one, and my motivation is completely shot. I wish I wouldn't have listened to anyone, and stuck with my schedule, because I felt great when I was working out and eating healthy.
So seriously, just ignore the haters. And definitely either back up your stance with the facts, or just tell people to butt out. Honestly it's none of their business what you weight, as long as you're being healthy about it, which you clearly are! Great job so far, and good luck on your continued progress!0 -
Yeah I've had a few "don't waste away" comments too.
Ignore.
I know I don;t have an unrealistic goal and I know I have a healthy relationship with food so I will stop eating at a deficit when I reach my goal.0 -
Just like it probably took your mind some time to come to grips with the fact that you are smaller, your family might need some time too. I have a friend who lost a pretty good chunk of weight and I admit, I thought he was looking too thin and should stop. I didn't say anything because I know he and his wife are very health conscious (he wasn't very overweight to begin with) and I trusted that they had a handle on it. When he finished he was within a healthy weight range for his height but he looked very thin to me. I think it's just because I was used to seeing him before his weight loss and after he was definitely much thinner. My brain took some time to adjust to his new look. Now when I see him (still the same weight) I think he looks great, trim and healthy!
Let your family know you appreciate their concern but that you are well aware of what the healthy weight guidelines are for your height. If you and your health care provider are happy with what you're doing then let that be your guide but understand your family is just concerned. You don't have to answer to them but some reassurance to those who love you isn't a bad thing.
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I got this comment from a family member a few days ago and I never really understood why it pissed people off until then. I got mad, and didn't really know what to say. I've lost 32 lbs and still have 37 more to go. My goal weight is actually higher than what I should be, but it's that way to give me room to adjust it if I want/need to.
I think it ticked me off so much because I've worked hard to get here and hearing that implies I'm doing something wrong. I'm ignoring it for now, as should you and keep doing what we're doing. Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
You're shorter than me (by 1") and weigh more than I do. I'm working on getting to your sister's weight or even a little less (cuz last time I was at that weight, I still had a bit of belly flab to get rid of). I would just thank them for their advice and then keep doing what you're doing! And congratulations on changing your life and doing the right thing!0
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Just to add - sometimes after/towards the end of a long-sustained weightloss, we tend to look quite gaunt at our new healthy weight until our bodies have the time to even out in maintenance. When I first got to the weight I am now, I got all sorts of comments about looking like a "holocaust victim", but now I don't, because my remaining bodyfat has sort of redistributed, I'm not running in a deficit all the time, etc. I have a friend who got WLS, and lost about 150 pounds, and she is in the "gaunt" stage, but I'm sure she will even out when she reaches her target weight and begins maintaining.0
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Check with your dietician. They are medically equipped to tell you what you should weigh. No one else's business.0
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Thanks for all those who can relate and your opinions They really are helping!
And to those who weigh less, yes i know that i'm not underweight. Thats why its so annoying!0 -
Dont worry about others it a very big change people will relax eventually 0
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Check with your dietician. They are medically equipped to tell you what you should weigh. No one else's business.
This is actually a really good suggestion. Ive never been to a dietician. I think im going to look in my insurance booklet right now and find one that accepts it. Thanks!0 -
Most of my life, at 5'3", I was about 110-120 pounds. I was a size 4-6. I gained some weight and then lost most (not all) of it and was about 132 pounds until I changed BC and regained some.
At 132 pounds, still heavier than I had been most of my life, my mother accused me of being anorexic. Ignore them. They'll get over it.0 -
This girl I work with told me I was looking "emaciated". Uhh, idk how that's possible at 5'1" 145lbs lol. Some people have a hard time watching otherw succeed. Try not to let it bother you, and keep going strong! 0
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I relate. They still dont see your slimmer self - just your old obese self and they think you are heading for anorexia.
Talk to your doctor and get his/her opinion of where you should be. Then confront them with "my doctor says........" They cant argue with that.0 -
BMI!
If you want to help them understand--and even let them know that you still want their support because you're not at your goal--you could sit them down and calculate your BMI. Tell them, "this is where I am, and THIS is where I want to be..."
It might be a good visual tool to let them see what you're talking about, and get them off your back a bit
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I know what you mean. My family and friends comment a lot and say I'm too skinny and should stop losing weight now. I know it's because they care about me and are just worried that I'll develop some eating disorder but it's still very annoying. Especially since I know they can look at other girls skinnier than me and still say she looks healthy! I asked my mom about a H&M model if she thought she was too skinny but no, she wasn't but I am! Yeah, that makes sense. Mom keeps saying I'm just as skinny as the models lol. I guess they're a bit blind because they're still used to seeing you a lot bigger.
I think you're doing awesome and of course keep going until you're satisfied. I've lowered my goal weight many times as I go which worries my family. Now for example my goal weight is to be 110-115 lbs which I know is low for my height of 5'6" but I know I'm not going to look unhealthy or too skinny so I'll do what I think is best for me. :-) Good luck to you and stay strong!0 -
Ugggggggh indeed.
My uncle always asks me "are you eating?", and tries to force feed me junk food. (I eat a tonne).
My parents tell me I'm shrinking away even though I lost 10kg last year and have maintained that ever since.
The part that bothers me is when they look down on me for eating a huuuuuge salad at midday, yet they encourage me to eat chocolate biscuits at 11pm before bed. Um, no thanks.0 -
Have the supported you in your success so far? Have the exercised with you? Have they told you week after week to not give up and celebrated with you achieving your goals?
If not tell them to mind there own business
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I get the same thing. At work I got in 'trouble' because I was unwell and lost weight when I was already at my goal. In fact I am still losing, which sucks, but I guess I will keep adding calories until I maintain . I did notice that a lady noticed my chips I had before our shift. And the ones who care actually see how much I eat at work. They haven't seen me skinny before, so it's a shock.
My dad commented on Saturday that I 'probably need to start eating more normally' . That would be his way of saying , I've done well and don't need to lose anymore. He knows my body shape, but always worried about my sister and I when we were extra skinny. I told my husband to mention how much I actually eat everyday, just so he isn't so concerned .0 -
I don't t think there is anything wrong with it at all! It depends! At long as you are healthy and happy doing it then nothing wrong!
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For reference, I'm 5'5 & 158 lbs!! I wear a size 8! Far from "overdoing" it!! I know a big part is that they've always known me as morbidly obese, they've never seen me like this. My sister is freaking 5'6 & 135 lbs so I don't get it?!
I don't know your family, but to me, it sounds like they like having you be the 'heavy' one so they can feel better about themselves. If you end up thinner than them, then it hurts their ego. I have friends like this - they like the 'fat' me because I make them feel skinny0 -
Yes DITTO. My mother tells me I look Gaunt! I am 5'9" 1/4" and I am around 168-172 depending on water retention. I hit my goal weight of 170 about 8 wks ago, and started eating more cals, gained up to 178 and now seem to be stable within 4 lbs which is normal and perfect. Total loss 112 lbs this go around! And the fact is that I have not been this weight since I was 17 yrs old, so they are not used to seeing me this trim. My whole body has changed too because working with my personal trainer has completely re-defined my shape so that is a big change too! I just try to ignore it. Both my Mom and sister are areound 50-60 lbs over weight too, and sometimes it's just hard to see someone else finally get it when you are stuck! I have so been there!!0
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I've had lots of comments, like 'you're done now, right?', or 'you can stop losing any time now', or my MIL who flat out told me 'that's enough, no more', with her stern face on.
Whatever, I'm 5'4" and 125lbs. I'm not fading away, I still have a good 10lbs of chub to either lose completely or convert to muscle mass.
I say just keep doing what you're doing, get to YOUR goal weight. And congratulations by the way, you've made some amazing progress and I think your family should be nothing but insanely proud of your efforts.0 -
Im wondering if this is odd!I was a member of Unislim years ago Im 5ft 2 and medium frame when I reached 9 stone I was told if I lost any more weight my membership would be suspended now you would think that at 5 ft 2 9 stone might be pushing at heavy but in fact I was looking gaunt,I have found even at my height 9.5 to 10 stone actually suits me,its when I go over 10 its a problem one sise dosnt fit all!0
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Yes I've experienced the same. I just say that I have more than enough body fat to be healthy. 0
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I have to deal with these kind of comments all the time I can tell the difference between people who say things because they care and people who say things because they are jealous.
My parents say things about me "working out too hard" because they are afraid I will hurt myself or something bad will happen they aren't used to girls doing weight training. They also tell me that I should be careful not to lose too much weight. They actually care about me, and my changes have encouraged them to make healthy choices.
On the other hand, my best friend is very jealous. She lost 50lbs from pills not saying there is anything wrong with that but after she stopped taking them she hasn't lost another pound. I never used anything and I kept going long after she stopped. Now she tells me I look "sick" and tells me my face looks "sunk in" or "too gaunt". She even implies I'm anorexic, to which I have to say I eat and everyone sees me eat thankyouverymuch!0 -
I'll admit, I used to be one of those people who thought everyone trying to lose weight was going to get too skinny. A large part of this was because I had no idea what a "healthy" weight looked like. I was also really used to what my friends/family looked like before and I was concerned they'd go too far. It was never jealousy, kind of more just a fear of the unknown. Now that I'm going through this process myself I feel that I can relate a lot more to what they went through and I feel bad about the assumptions I had about people losing weight in the past. I'm sure your family just means well and they want you to be healthy, they just don't know what that means. It's good you shared your goal with them and let them know you just want to get to a healthy body weight. Just try to educate them the best you can, and hopefully they'll come around eventually. Once they're used to the new you, they'll probably forget their worries. Just keep doing what makes you happy, it's your body, and you're aiming to live a long healthy life. Nothing wrong with that.
^^^^^ This is great advice. Your family will adjust as time passes. Congratulations!!! You have accomplished something big and your goal is fine!!!0 -
Thanks for all the replies!
I did being up BMI to try to shut them up but they don't believe in BMI. I actually don't really either as I know I'm not overweight. Just wish they would mind their business!
They jealous... they hatin. Your sister probably doesn't want you to be smaller than her lol.0 -
I feel like sometimes people want you to stay the fat friend/cousin haha... As long as you're doing it in a healthy way - keep going! Good job.0
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Sounds like you're going to be stuck with just "accepting" it (I don't mean believing what they say, but just going with "Thank you for your concern. I'll be careful, but please stop bringing it up" and moving on). :ohwell: Sorry. Hopefully you have enough support on here that you can keep yourself healthy anyway. Best of luck! :flowerforyou:Thanks for all the replies!
I did being up BMI to try to shut them up but they don't believe in BMI. I actually don't really either as I know I'm not overweight. Just wish they would mind their business!0 -
Overweight has somehow become equated with being "healthy" these days. I blame the fat acceptance movement.
This^^^
ETA My mother has done this to me while I was growing up, bc I wasn't as "healthy" as some of my siblings she would make jokes about how I need a couple burgers so the wind won't take me away....0
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