My friend has BO....How do I tell her?

I know It's difficult but I would be very matter of fact and straight forward about it, as if it's just one of those things that can happen to anyone ( which it is), if you can act unembarrassed about it she will be less embarrassed. Usually you can tell the difference if some one smells bad because they aren't cleaning themselves/clothes properly as oppose to a sweaty/hormonal thing, either way she might need to see a GP for treatment or counselling. Maybe you could offer to watch the kids while she has an appoitment.

If you was a real friend you would tell her out straight if use are as good enough friends she will thankyou for it just say babe can i have a word i d t want to sound horrible but i love you loads and do t want someone to upset you but, iv noticed you have started to get very bad body oder latly and its noticible i will watch the children if you want to go an get a bath! Real friends dont leave there gold friends stinking x

OK.. This is what I'd do:

Keep it really light. After a day out together, in the middle of a girlie chat, I'd say something like "Hmmm, I think one of us has got a bit of BO, I keep getting a whiff of something slightly off.." Then dramatically sniff my own armpits and have a sniff in her direction... Then I'd be like "Ah, sorry, think it's you this time... We've had such a busy day, it's so hot, blah blah blah"

That might be all the nudge she needs.. If not, I'd repeat the whole scenario on another occasion, but this time mention the possibility of it being a hormonal change, saying that you never used to notice it before she had her last baby.

I'd also consider the possibility of her being depressed as another poster mentioned and only really attempt the genius approach I've outlined above if you don't think there are any underlying issues.

Obviously relationships vary and not everyone could pull off this manoeuvre. But it's what I'd do in your situation.. Good luck!

You know your friend better than we do - but I think you need to tell her, tell her now, and tell her straight out. Don't sugar coat - it will make things worse (sometimes, we tend to sugarcoat so much that the person doesn't get what we are trying to say). don't buy her deoderant as a gift (that never works). It could be a lot of reasons - hormonal, PPD, a change in her diet, a problem with the washing machine (so clothing isn't *clean*), etc. so just tell her:
"Friend, you know how much I love you. and i have to tell you something. I was debating for a while because I don't want to hurt your feelings but I realized that if the tables were reversed, I would want YOU to tell ME. So - lately i noticed that you have a strong body smell. I'm not sure what it is - but you need to deal with it." and then take it from there.

There is so much good advice here as I am dealing with this problem as well. It is a very hard situation I hope I can sort it out without hurting my friend. Keep in touch and let me know how you get on. Good luck .

Bo can be hormonal. Some people cannot smell it on themselves, its possible that she is not aware of it so maybe speaking with her about the issue will be doing her a favour. I borrowed a jacket off my friend once at a do we were at, after wearing it for around 30 mins the arm pits were stinking of sweat even tho i was not the one sweating. The smell can be tuff to shift from clothes if you do not wash them straight away after sweating in them. It may not be that shes not looking after herself and showering/washing daily, the smell could be in the clothes shes wearing even though she has washed them.

In the UK there is a spray called stain slayer, its a lemon solution and it works wonders for removing BO stink from clothes (i have a teenage brother who gets stinky pits). It could be something simple like her not washing on a high enough temperature in the washer. A very simple change to make and an easy/ common mistake.

I would have a quiet word with her, Its a difficult convo to have but i think if your her close friend then she should respect the fact your speaking to her to try and help her.

BO is something i am paranoid about (what can i say i am a supersmeller and the slightest aromas can knock me sick when other people are not aware of them). When i hit the gym/ work out at home or go to work i have a roll on deoderant that's GREAT and its not expensive. Its called mitchum (in UK). Maybe if you have a few helpful points to try and help her combat this problem it might not seem so bad. Also i agree with the above poster, if the reason is shes not showering enough then it could be post natal depression in which case she needs the help of the doctor. On the same note having a baby can make you feel like your life is not your own and you no longer have time for yourself, especially when you have a demanding baby.

If she in an excessive sweater you can also get treatment from the gp in the form of a roll on called drioclor or something (not sure if you can buy it over the counter) You use it as a roll on in effected areas, let it dry before putting on clothes and it stops or reduces the amount you sweat.

What i am trying to say is, don't just swoop in and say... You have BO deal with it, Try to get to the bottom of what the cause it, it may be something very simple, ie the clothes she wears. On the flip side if could be medical, ie hormones and or depression. Its important to be supportive as a friend either way so shes not overwhelmed with a problem she dosen't know how to deal with although there are simple things to try to combat the issue.

Hope all this helps. Good luck, I hope she is understanding when you tell her xxx

I had also BO problem, which I was not aware of... And thank God my niece told me about it!!!!! Telling her is much better than keeping silence because at the end You`ll make her feel as if she would have been the stinky whole life...

Pretend that it is something recently appeared- Ask if she has changed her diet or using some medicine, because you notice some smell... Ask if she has forgotten her deodorant... Antiperspirants are not healthy, but propose to try one once in 3 days...

BUT tell her!!! Before people will start avoiding her...

Lack of attention to personal hygiene can be as symptom of depression. She's recently had a baby so she may be at risk of post-natal depression. How is she generally? Bear in mind that some people are very good at putting on a brave face for the world then collapsing in a heap behind closed doors. Are there other signs that she's not coping well? (if she's depressed enough to not be washing herself she will have a lot of other issues as well, although it may all be hidden behind closed doors while she puts on a brave face)

If it was me, I'd start by seeing how she is generally, asking her if she's okay, I mean really okay, if there's anything wrong, you can say that you just sense that something's not right and you can't put your finger on it... that kind of thing you dont need to mention anything specific (definitely not body odor). Then take it from there. If she is depressed, encourage her to seek help and then the issue with the BO will sort itself out.

If it's not that and she's totally fine, just oblivious to what she smells like, maybe you just have to tell her, but try to do it in the nicest possible way.

I really really like your reply, I think it is a great advice!

I believe it is always possible that there is a reason for why people change, have BO, don't clean their house etc. Always try to be the best friend possible and be there for support.

If it's that bad, maybe she is aware of it but nothing is working. People with hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) sometimes can't even use normal deodorants because they won't work. If you don't want to say it directly to her, maybe refer to a product indirectly that is great for reducing sweating (for e.g. arrid cream?) and say you use it or something. Sounds a little silly, but it might be better than hurting her feelings.

Also, this...

I would offer to offer to babysit so that she could have some "me" time. Suggest that she soak in a nice bubble bath. As a mother we tend to put ourselves on the back burner while caring for others but hopefully a little nudge will push in the right direction if it from the lack of personal hygiene.