Hating myself.
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no need to apologize for ranting !! everyone needs to do it, some of us rant to our partners, our friends, our family, and some rant on here, I think it is essential to rant and get out anger and frustration other wise it will just bottle up and one day you will explode!!!
I think anyone who struggles with their weight has a daily battle with "not hating themselves" and the days where we like ourselves should definitely be rewarded or praised!
What kind of goals are you trying to achieve ? Mine is a bit of a large goal, but ideally it would be to loose around 75-85 pounds, but I plan on doing it... even though I have struggles here and there.
I am definitely like you though, I am a emotional eater and stress eater too, it is a horrible habit, and wow, a very hard one to beat !
Feel free to add me and we can lean on one another and use each other for support. I am on here daily and log everything and also write in my blog once a week or so.
Just remember, everyday is a new battle, and yes, today you may feel down, but tomorrow is a new day, and we can make it a good one !!0 -
Ok I have been were you are and am doing better now... there is hope! As far as your state of mind you realize it now so you have to do something about it. My husband and I have had the same issues and talked about it all the time. The changing point for me was I decided to do it for myself not my kids, not for him but for ME!! Guess what happened it sucked to begin with ( lol ) but after a couple of weeks (normally my give up point ) my husband realized that I was serious and joined in. We now get up and do p90x together at 4 am every morning (before kids are up and before work) because it is important and it has been the best thing ever for our marriage. We both still have a long way to go but doing it together as a TEAM and knowing it is a LIFE STYLE now together is an amazing feeling. You will get there DON'T GIVE UP!! Best Wishes and GOD BLESS!0
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I'm actually not on with the small "goals", I say, focus on building small habits that you do every day, that push you in the direction you want to go. Do this until they are easy and just part of you, like brushing your teeth.
So don't try to lose 5 pounds as a small goal. For example, try to walk 15 minutes a day, every day. Focus on this and only this for a while, ignore everything else until it becomes... habit. ...
Once you've got one down, you'll feel like you've really accomplished something.
Your results will be the accumulation of these habits.
That's a good approach. It's better to focus on habits and structure, for example, putting the crackers out of reach, than on reaching goals. When someone continually fails at something, it's usually not because a person isn't smart enough to figure out what to do. There's emotional resistance. It's better to bypass the emotions as much as possible.0 -
You've just got to suck it up and get your stuff together.
Quit sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself because that doesn't actually accomplish anything.
If you truly want the results you say you do then you need to put some action behind it.
whatever you do, don't give up. please don't hate yourself. you don't have to become this beacon of self-love overnight, but start treating yourself as you would treat others. with kindness, respect. grow to like yourself, and then one day, you'll love yourself. no one is perfect. i say this with years of therapy under my belt and i'm still "imperfect" but happily so--gives me a reason to keep growing and learning about who i am.
we are here for you.I'm actually not on with the small "goals", I say, focus on building small habits that you do every day, that push you in the direction you want to go. Do this until they are easy and just part of you, like brushing your teeth.
So don't try to lose 5 pounds as a small goal. For example, try to walk 15 minutes a day, every day. Focus on this and only this for a while, ignore everything else until it becomes... habit. But it doesn't have to be exercise. Maybe you decide to stop skipping breakfast. Maybe you decide to cut out crackers, because it's a trigger food. Something.
Once you've got one down, you'll feel like you've really accomplished something.
Your results will be the accumulation of these habits.
They said it best. Good luck...you can absolutely do this.0 -
Thank you everyone for the support. You've all brought me to tears. I have a tendency to need to be the strong one and hold it together. It's amazing sometimes how a good hard cry can make you see clearly or just be a relief in general. I'm not blaming my husband, but more my fear of confrontation. He wants to lose as bad as I do, but he loses it so much faster, which ticks me off, quite honestly. As far as my family's habits - We eat healthy meals. It's my snacking that's doing this. The kids always get healthy meals and even healthy snacks. We used to walk about 4 miles a day together - all of us. Then I quit wanting to be out around where I live due to extreme harassment of my family by a few people here. We loved walking. We used to go to the Gym as well...that stopped too. I just need to quit worrying so much about what people think of me...that's always been my fault. So what am I doing now? I'm going to the flippin' grocery store. I don't care if they look at me like I'm nuts buying out the produce section. I just don't care anymore. THAT is where I need to get my attitude to stay all the time. Thank you again, everyone. Truly appreciate it!!!0
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Welcome back. You so got this.
Sending prayers and love your way to help you get trought this
Viki0 -
This may be a long shot but why don't you start the Couch to 5K program . . . .C25K.com. I was 50lbs. overweight, old as the hills and had smoked for 30+ years when I decided to start it over two years ago. I was feeling very similar to how you're feeling at the moment (less the husband issues) and decided I HAD to do something for myself. Nobody needs to know. . . no expectations on you. And, the only equipment you need is a good sports bra, running shoes and a smart phone OR watch.
For what it's worth, I'm the last of the big time procrastinators so I decided to not allow failure to be an option and come hell or high water do it 3x a week. No more, no less. As time has gone by I've grown to love it and most importantly, love myself. It honestly has saved my life.
Give it a try, my dear. It's cheaper than therapy.0 -
You've just got to suck it up and get your stuff together.
Quit sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself because that doesn't actually accomplish anything.
If you truly want the results you say you do then you need to put some action behind it.
Exactly this!
Not exactly this... Obviously you know all this, which is why you are on here reaching out for help. THAT is action on your part!! Give yourself a pat on the back for taking the first step and just keep taking the steps toward your goal. :drinker:
Trying to lose the weight that you recently lost is one of the most frustrating challenges in weight loss. I know you can do it, though. You have done it before. Get back to doing what you did and before long you will be back to your former weight. Otherwise, the alternative? Not pretty is it?
It sounds like your husband is really struggling too. You must have gone through something very difficult for both of you.
If you think you and/or your husband have a problem with binge eating, there is a lot of support in the binge eating group. We understand that there is a bit more to success than "Just Do It".
Hating yourself will give you a reason to keep eating. Loving yourself no matter what will give you a reason to get healthy - and set a great example for your kids
...and your husband...
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People have said things much better than I could, but I want to point out that if it was easy it would be meaningless to you. The challenges you're facing now will make your successes when (not if) you reach your goals that much sweeter.0
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Don't discuss it, just do it. If the hubby wants to go out to eat, just don't order anything or order something small. Don't tell him why or ask him to change and for goodness sake stop using him as an excuse. At the end of the day you control what you put in your mouth. All the labels "emotional eater" "stress eater" just give you a reason to fail. You are a person who either chooses to fix this or chooses to stay the way you are. Make the choice either way and live with that choice but don't hide away in your house using this as an excuse to accomplish nothing and fail to be the wife, mom, person you should be.0
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I really feel for you, from the bottom of my heart. I have been there - packing on weight (partly due to health issues, other other part from holing myself up in my apt and eating family size meals to myself and laziness). I spent countless days crying to myself, feeling miserable and lonely, and just fat. But that never does anyone any good.
IMO - you need to tell your hubby straight up that your lifestyle is hurting you. And it clearly is if you feel this way about yourself. I agree with the suggestions to get help, because if you don't fix what's broken in your head, your body will never follow.
Also, set small goals to get started: make healthier food choices. As far as hubby goes, let him whine and complain that you aren't eating the greasy/calorie-laden foods he wants. Unless he is literally tying you down and force-feeding you, you can't blame him for what you are eating. Go for short walks, get outside and get some sun. It will help keep your head clear and give you some "me time" that you desperately need. Use this time to set more small goals for yourself and do some positive self talk to boost your self esteem. Maybe enlist the help of a friend or co-worker to go walk with you. Even a 20 minute walk on your lunch break will do wonders for you.
You have to get started somewhere, and that will require you unlocking the bedroom door and getting outside. You can do this if you want it, but it will take dedication and perseverance. Nothing worth having is ever easy. :flowerforyou:0 -
You've just got to suck it up and get your stuff together.
Quit sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself because that doesn't actually accomplish anything.
If you truly want the results you say you do then you need to put some action behind it.
^^^ Yup!
I feel ya!
But if I really wanted to make a difference in my lifestyle then I had to suck it up and do something about it instead of always complaining about it. I finally realized that and made myself change my way of thinking, it's the only way that helped me.
Get up, dust yourself off, and move it!
You can do this!
Good luck!
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods0 -
Hey girl! ((hugs)) You can do this!
Today please get outta the house - walk around the block - sniff nature, see the beauty in the world around you.
Try not to think about yesterday, focus on today and tomorrow.
As far as your life and emotional eating - (I so could have written the same blog post myself ;.... so you're not alone) - maybe consider writing down what you're struggling with. Sit with those feelings so you fully feel them - then go shred your journal page and be done with it.
Onwards and upwards.
YOU GOTS THIS!0 -
I'm done. I hate myself so much right now and absolutely disgust myself. I was doing so well with eating healthy, losing weight, being active. Then our life just took a horrible turn and I literally holed myself up in my room and don't want to be seen by anyone anymore. I am embarrassed by how I look and am embarrassed for my kids. I have no excuse for myself. I just quit caring. Today, I looked in a full length mirror and about made myself throw up. The sad part, is I gained all my weight back and then some. It all seemed to come back straight to my upper stomach and I feel like I look preggo (which I'm not), but I can't suck it in anymore. Just needing some advice to get back into things again. I'm afraid to go out of the house anymore and with summer here, that's just not an option with my kiddos. I'm a snacker, and emotional eater, etc. I was doing so well with healthier snacks, but now that I've fallen into bad habits again, it seems I'm hungrier now. The worst part is my husband has gained more back than I have all he ever wants to do is go to eat, or eat crappy foods. I don't want to make him made and cranky, so I give in, and always feel absolutely horrible after. It's taken a toll on our relationship as we hardly talk anymore and I try to avoid him so I don't have to even talk about it anymore (we have the discussion almost daily). How do I get past the point of feeling disgusted and worthless? I'm just trying to reach out for some advice....sorry for rambling on.
First, PRAY!! Second, GET UP!!! and go for a walk for fresh air!0 -
Thank you for posting so honestly about your experience. I have been there myself, so many times in my life. The only upside of those times was that they motivated me to do *something* to change, and it's been a work in progress since then, with some things working better than others.
One thing that really helped me was to look at my eating as though I had signed up for some new course or something. Originally I committed to myself that I would simply track everything I ate, and do so honestly. That's all. Not to change anything, not to deny myself anything, just to write everything down faithfully. After doing this for a short while and getting used to the mentality of "studying" myself in this way, the harsh self-judgement passed, and I was able to look at myself more objectively. From there, I found that I was willing to make changes about what I ate, but it felt more like experimenting, to see if I could remove something without it being really stressful, etc. Once I was out of that self-judgement phase, this was much easier to do, and the changes quickly started to add up to progress, which in itself motivated me to keep going. Doing this in a way that removed the self-judgement was the key that made the process work for me this time around. I didn't realize that at the time, but now I can see it and how important that it was.
Going out for food all the time is difficult. I found that I could manage this somewhat by looking up menus online and making my food choices beforehand, but that wasn't always possible. Ultimately I had to reduce dining out significantly in order to be able to eat enough food to feel satisfied without totally overloading on the calories. (Managing my intake does not work if I am hungry all the time - that just makes me feel worse, and more likely to binge.)
In terms of snacking, something that worked for me was to plan my healthy snacks, and have them ready and waiting for when my wife would bring something to snack on in front of the TV. That way I could give in to the impulse to snack, but with better choices, and also often having built it into my plan for the day. (Apples and carrots are great for this, the latter with some hummus for flavour is a very good choice.)
I continue to use this site for maintaining healthy food intake, and it remains very valuable to me.
I really hope something you read here clicks with you and helps you make the changes you need to feel better.0 -
I know how you feel! I refused to walk down the snack aisle at the grocery store with my husband last week. He snacks all night long...but he doesn't gain weight! I told him he is sabotaging me by bringing unhealthy food into the house. I just decided to grab an apple when he reaches for the chips. I also keep the unhealthy snacks out of sight and the fruits, etc., on the counter. That has been helping me the most. Good luck!0
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Please don't hate yourself, you're a wonderful person and mum who has managed to lose so much weight! You should be proud of yourself. And these things can happen, you just need to pick yourself up again. You can do it. Make small goals! We're all rooting for you!0
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What everyone else has said. MAKE yourself get up and go out. I understand hating how you look but you need to get over that. You need the exercise and air to get your mojo back! You might also want to talk to a Dr. about an anti-depressant if it is so bad you don't want to leave your room.0
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Do you want your children to hate themselves when they grow up?? Do u want them to feel that self-loathing that we all have felt?? NO! And if YOU don't STAND UP RIGHT NOW and start setting the examples regardless of what anyone has to say they will grow up to hate themselves too! Stop it you are a STRONG< COURAGEOUS MOTHER WIFE AND WOMAN! Start leading by example and understand that not only will they learn to be just like you but they will also carry your example throughout life. Show them how important it is to care for themselves by you taking care of YOU. I know you don't want to die any sooner than we already are...you need as many days as you can squeeze out of life AND ENJOY EACH ONE with your family. I'm going to add you and we can motivate each other! My daughter is 8 and already overweight but she and I together have made changes for the better...and we wont stop until we reach our goals. LOVE&LIGHT TO YOU!0
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Hello: Thank you for being so honest-I feel your pain! I understand your shame!
You sound so frustrated with your life-but please know You haven't given up! You are writing to us for support and dirrection. You still Believe-
But what you need is a good old fashion "HUG"
And I'm sending you one,two-as many as you need!
Having a partner who doesn't care about health and nutrition and looking good-must be very difficult to live with.
He mirrors everything you are feeling about yourself.
And I'm sure it must be draining and lonely at times.
You are at a cross roads-with decisions to make about your life and the dirrection you want it to go.
And only you can make those decisions for yourself-but always remember you are being observed by the members of your family.
Your kids are watching-so is your husband.
May I share a true story with you? It may help you in your decision.
this I learned about it in treatment years ago-but the story really stuck with me.
Here Goes: There was this Indian Reservation (unknown location) that was 100% drunk.
The Mother who was so tired of her life-got sober by writing to A.A. for literature. No one supported her. They ridiculed her but she persisted in staying sober-inspite of the whole reservations rejection. But people were watching her life get better and better. Someone else came to her and asked her for help. Now there were 2 people getting sober and staying sober amongst a whole community of drunks. Eventually 2 turned into 3,4,5 etc... and the whole reservation got sober.
You can be a powerful force for yourself and your family.
The decision is yours. I hope my story helped!
I'm praying for you!
P.S. Ive been sober for 12 years.
anniegail19610
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