What do you think of fat people after losing weight?
Replies
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I agree.I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
I got fat because I was just overwhelmed. I had a full-time job and two babies who were both very high needs (then three...then four...) At home, I went from changing diapers to nursing a baby to trying to pull a toddler out of something she shouldn't be into to folding another load of laundry to cleaning up another spill to dealing with a tantrum to dishes...Dinner was whatever I could throw together in 15 minutes. I was mentally drained at the end of the day. And maybe a bit depressed?
At work, it was 12-hr shifts as a nurse on my feet constantly...lunch was whatever I get whenever I could get it. I just didn't take the time to stop and think about it.
My life is still just as busy. But somewhere along the way, I learned to adjust to chaos and lack of sleep, to juggle and multi-task. It isn't easy. I in no way look down upon others who haven't figured out how to make it all work yet.0 -
I think you can't tar everyone with the same brush! You have to look at each person individually and can't make a sweeping statement like "everyone who is fat is just lazy"
shes right every one is different like my yes i ate bad but i also was put on meds that made me eat a tone. i couldn't controle myself at all i was a bottomless pit. i walked every where. my mom has crohns it a bowel diesease its ligit she has real health problems now she can't walk a block literaly so say lazy is just ignorant of you op0 -
I try my best not to judge. Like maybe people on here I am still considered obese even though I have lost over 60 lbs and recently ran a half marathon. But if someone just saw me on the street I probably just look like another fat person. We don't know people's stories just by looking at them. We don't know where they have been or what they have struggled through. As someone who has been overweight since I was about 8 years old I know what it's like to not be in the right space emotionally to lose weight. I was severely depressed for a long time and it was a struggle to just get out of bed much less put forth the effort to exercise and eat right.
Although sometimes when I do see an obese person struggling to do a basic task like walk across a parking lot there is part of me that wants to reach out to them and tell them how much better and easier life is when you aren't 100+ lbs overweight and that they can do it if only they try. But that would be weird, so I keep my mouth shut.0 -
I agree - but think it is more than just laziness. For me, I was convinced it just couldn't happen after years of yo yo dieting with no sustainable success. So, yes, I was lazy, but more than that I was defeated, so why try? We all get there in our own time.
^^^^ this
I think whether or not people get fat is due to laziness... well I suppose that depends how you define lazy, but certainly it's through being sedentary and eating too much for the vast majority.... fact is most people who want to be lean but are like the above post says, just totally defeated. There is so much misinformation and dodgy advice out there, it isn't as simple as "eat less and move more" - if you go about fat loss in the wrong way you do fail, and after repeated failures, who wouldn't start to feel defeated? And people don't usually get good advice on how to lose fat (and nothing but fat) and keep it off for life from their doctors, the advice from the media is about 100x worse then there's all the scams being peddled around, people are being set up to fail, repeatedly, basically so it's no wonder that people are so discouraged and ready to make excuses. And without a background in science, it must be really hard to tell what's good information from what's a scam and what's just plain bad advice.
I got fat due to being lazy and eating too much, but I also have a degree in human sciences which included a lot of physiology and nutrition and that helped a lot in terms of being able to see what's a good exercise and eating plan that's likely to work versus one that's going to starve off a bunch of lean muscle and lead to yo-yo dieting. Fat loss is really not that difficult when you actually have the right advice and information (barring certain medical conditions which make it genuinely more difficult even with the right advice) - but so many people are acting on dodgy information that's just making it 100x more difficult for them in the long term.0 -
I've been thinking about this for a long time...
I've lost 60-65 lbs...I'm 5' 11" I wasn't the largest person ever, but the difference is night and day of how I used to look. I went from size 42 pants to 34 (32 will fit, but i like my clothes loose)
Every time an obese person that I've known for a long time sees me...they ask what my "secret" was...
I tell them I try to eat better, I stopped drinking booze and soda, I joined a gym, and I bike ride. I tell them I have a spare bike and they are welcome to join me whenever...
Their eyes glaze over...
Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.
I know that in my case fatness was due to my laziness...I think the same holds true for %99.9 of fat people...but they just aren't willing to admit it.
This is true. To lose weight a person must really WANT to shed the excess, if they don't have the will, they will never succeed.
Regarding underactive Thyroid sufferers, I am not applying this to you, you have a bonafide medical condition affecting weightloss.0 -
I've only lost less than half of what I must lose...so I usually am thinking "There but for the grace of God, go I".
This has and will continue to be a real WORK in progress for me. I know that at any time if I become overconfident or slack off, I will slide back into eating poorly and no exercise. I still have occasional affairs with Mountain Dew if I'm not on point! Everyone has their own demons and everyone must have that defining moment that makes them realize that this is actually the better and easier road for a long, fun life. My true defining moment was watching my Mom's final struggle with diabetes...she was never even huge but her eating and exercise habits were never fantastic either...I know I have to get myself in the mindset that the 30 minutes before work with my treadmill ARE my medicine and are part of my life's work from now on. Insulin wants me to use my muscles and move every day.
Some at work have started to ask me about my weight and if they want to hear, I tell them how I have to blast myself outta bed each day and how I pay attention to what I eat now. I eat most of the same things but with substitutions for lower calories and smaller portions. I loss weight once before (extreme approach that was too much too fast) and I know how easy it is to be a new sanctimonious convert...then fall in a pizza, french fries, and taco ditch for two years...
I don't judge because that would be a judgement of myself. Pretty much the case with all judgements when you don't know all the facts really...I try to stay in the upbeat supportive and encouragement place. The view and the breeze are nicer here!0 -
I think for me, it was a combination of factors. Laziness, on top of medical problems, lead to a downward spiral.
When I first started eating better and working out, I didn't see any results on the scale or in my measurements. It took MONTHS to see anything happen. However, I was starting to feel stronger. It was a very slow process to regain control over my health, but it happened.
It's not easy, and for some of us, it might be harder than it is for others or harder than it used to be when we were younger, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.
Hard work almost always pays off in one way or another.0 -
Remaining humble, helpful and non critical can be a challenge for me, apparently human failing. I have another 47 pounds to go and that is my focus, however I now feel this compulsion to want to help everyone experience the advantages I have already seen! Being a passionate advocate of weight loss is a perfect outlet for my energy, but doing so in a way that reached non traditional manner is the brass ring.0
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I was skinny. Not as a kid, I never allowed myself to get fat but I was chubby as a kid and I always was on guard after that to not let my figure slip. I worked hard at it. I kept my figure until I hit 30. I went on a birth control shot that I am pretty certain, now, caused me to be unable to drop weight, I worked out a ton. I ate properly and less than properly (1000 cals for a month at a time), I fasted and cleansed, I busted my tuchas, My weight would stay the same within 3 lbs or just go up, my stomach distended my feet and hands often bloated from water retention and then I would just get sooo discouraged. Doctors said lower your calories, losing weight is harder as we age. I hated how I looked I hated that I couldn't fix it. For me 200 lbs may as well have been 800lbs I wore it badly, my knees hurt, my back ached. I don't know why some folks can lose with a thyroid disorder and some can't and lots of thin women were on my same meds with no issue. I admit that I did want an easy way out, because I had run so many times at the "hard" or "smart" way out and maybe I just wanted to know it was a failure sooner rather than later . In my journey I gave up on myself so many times. I felt like such a loser. I started to over eat massively...I went through several bouts of depression and one day just decided that not getting knocked up and having my cycles regulated might not be worth it and even though the doctors swore my weight loss could not be blamed on my birth control I stopped the meds. A year without that injection and I lost 5 lbs from having a bad cold. It was the first loss I had managed in 5 years and I cried actual tears of joy. I am losing steadily now and my bloating and distention is a thing of the past.
I felt like a failure, like a sloppy lazy idiot. I have never been so helpless. People said to me many cruel and hurtful things when I was fatter. I felt like I deserved being spoken to that way.
I heard everybody's opinions on what I should try next
I had my food choices questioned constantly by people just trying to help
I was told that I should continue with major calorie deficit even though I had no energy and dark circles under my eyes because it would "get easier" and "there were no fatties in concentration camps"
I will never forget this experience. I have grown as a person from my time spent trapped in my own body and I will not hesitate to call out someone being a self important meany again.
Congrats on your success.0 -
i wouldn't say laziness in most cases, but i DO agree that a lot of the "conditions" people have are mental. when you are sad, scared, and discouraged, it feels impossible to take charge and make a change. generally, they fall into desperation and attempt a "quick fix" program, only to be MORE discouraged by failure. that always makes me sad...when someone who struggles gives up because their results are not faster than the results of prior unhealthy choices.0
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I have found it rather odd now I am small ( 111lbs ). Fat people look at me funny and almost with a nasty look. I was fat because I ate too much, ate high calorie and didn't move. I live in a country town and I started a small facebook group for weight loss support plus I had my name as "lose weight " on my facebook profile so everybody knows who I am now. Thing is I am rather over being asked how I did it, mainly because when you tell them I ate a calorie controlled diet and sweat buckets on my exercise bike they like you say " glaze over ". I also have found that If I order a foot long subway ( half for my husband ) the fat people stare at me as if to say " you wont eat all that " as they are getting footlongs for themselves. buying a chocolate treat gets a few looks as well. I hate to say it but overweight people can be quite " fattist " against slim people. Maybe anyone reading this who is still losing weight, please don't judge or give looks to slim people, I have been called a " skinny ***** " in jest but I don't find it funny at all, I mean I don't call people a " fat ***** " it is a whole new world being small I tell you.
This is true. I've been super tiny before, and I actually found it easier to get along with people when I was obese, rather than underweight. I want to get healthy for many reasons, but it certainly isn't to make friends.0 -
I feel bad for them. I imagine that something has happened in their life to make them gain weight. That was certainly the reason in my case. Others have had weight issues all their life. I dont want to be the one to judge someone for what they are going through. I never thought it was much fun to be kicked while you were down anyway. When they ask what I am doing, I tell them how I am doing it, and tell them how simple it is. When they start to lose interest I simply say' "When you are ready to lose the weight you will commit to it. No one can make you want to do it." I hope that once I reach my goal that I won't forget where I came from, and that I will still be sympathetic to those that are over weight.0
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I see opportunities. So many people could be healthier and more attractive with some simple changes. Tools like MFP are extremely helpful and available for nearly everyone in developed countries.0
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I think of how I used to feel,and feel bad that they probably feel the same way.
Depressed,self conscious, but also free to eat whatever they please and in whatever
Quantity. I sure miss that part.
In the end,they're people too. So judging someone by their weight in a negative way
Is stupid and shallow.0 -
Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.
Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.
Amen to this. I also sometimes make a silent wish, especially when the person has little ones with them. I wish for them to have the strength and mindset to get healthy and instill healthy eating in their children.0 -
OP I think this is a mean topic, everyone has their own issues and I try not to judge anyone....end of!
P.S had to stop My eyes glazing over as your smugness was really quite tiresome0 -
I've been thinking about this for a long time...
I've lost 60-65 lbs...I'm 5' 11" I wasn't the largest person ever, but the difference is night and day of how I used to look. I went from size 42 pants to 34 (32 will fit, but i like my clothes loose)
Every time an obese person that I've known for a long time sees me...they ask what my "secret" was...
I tell them I try to eat better, I stopped drinking booze and soda, I joined a gym, and I bike ride. I tell them I have a spare bike and they are welcome to join me whenever...
Their eyes glaze over...
Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.
I know that in my case fatness was due to my laziness...I think the same holds true for %99.9 of fat people...but they just aren't willing to admit it.
I have had this happen....they say i wish i could do what you do .....but always have an excuse. I try not to judge them but, i dont feel bad for them when they complain.
However after being so big myself when i see a stranger in the store or whatever i feel bad for them. Wishing i could tell them they dont have to be that way....but i dont ever think badly of them when their cart is full of chips and oreos....they have to come to it on their own....
Even with the million of reasons why they cant....they are still excuses in the end.....0 -
OP I think this is a mean topic, everyone has their own issues and I try not to judge anyone....end of!
P.S had to stop My eyes glazing over as your smugness was really quite tiresome
Agreed. I have a very close friend who has a thyroid disorder and she works out everyday and eats extremely healthy but she can't lose weight. She is trying so hard and she's very depressed about it. You really shouldn't judge anyone.0 -
Many of us have the thousand and one excuses. I do happen to have a thyroid condition but that is not my sole reason for having a weight problem. Plain and simple I was eating wrong and not getting exercise. I haven't lost enough yet to compare with people who are still overweight. I am proud of myself for attempting to be a better me. I know it is not going to be easy but even in the small steps I am getting healthier. And to answer you're question I think that Many want to lose but they have a fear of commitment . I have been down that road which ended up being a "dead end" No more excuses no more side streets. I am taking the Main Street!0
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While I agree that sometimes people have a million and one excuses, I also agree that I never know which ones are valid and it's not my place to judge.
One way to look at it though is it's not necessarily true that they are fooling themselves with the excuses. They may just be ashamed standing next to you, seeing your success, and feel like they need to explain themselves. It may be in that moment of embarrassment when they pull whatever they can out of the air. I don't know if that makes sense, but I would venture to say a lot of people know deep down that their "excuses" are no excuse for laziness.
I'm no where near my goal. I still have 100 lbs to lose, and it's been going SLOWWWW the past few months. So in all honestly I still AM one of those "fat people". Honestly if you and I were having that conversation, I would probably ask you waht you did, and glaze over too, thinking "but I've been working my a&& off, and have only lost 5 lbs in the past 5 months!"
I've tried so many times to commit to the change in the past and failed and just couldn't get it until one day it seriously just clicked. There was no other option and now it's an everyday battle but I am changing my life. I don't know what clicked, it just did. I wish I could press that same button in everyone else, but they have to find it for themselves. :ohwell:0 -
I, against my own common sense, have noticed myself feeling less and less accepting of larger people. I think this has much more to do with myself and my own self hate issues than with other people's eating habits. It makes me feel depressed when I see an obese person doing an "obese person thing" (I know what it looks like because I was one for 24 years).
However, I completely disagree with the OP's perception of the "eyes glazing over". I think what you are seeing, OP, is the sense of insurmountable dread that fills them when they think of the true amount of effort required to make a serious change. I encourage you, OP, to enthusiastically endorse weight loss as something that they can definitely achieve. If someone has a 'mentor' of sorts who believes in them it will become a more realistic goal. My sister did that for me, and every time someone talks to me about weight loss, I try my hardest to do it for them too.0 -
I often walk behind them with a trombone0
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Some people loves to have excuses. That's like that. 'Cause they wanna loose weight without making efforts (like most of people, it would be awesome if it was true ^^). And I think people don't like to look like "a lazy person". It's like pride.
(For me, I don't quite know if hormonal trouble cause this, or if my weight help causing hormonal trouble, and I don't care about ^^)0 -
My only issue is with people that then become holier-than-thou about it.
Congrats on your big loss and of course you should be proud of yourself; but when you show off about every pound you lose to everyone and their dog... You just become a bit of a moron in my eyes.0 -
It might be that for some people, but I have been active my whole life and have always had a weight problem. Emotional/binge eating ftl.0
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Wait, does being judgmental burn calories? If so, you're doing it right, OP.0
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I think they're jolly.0
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I don't. As I tell my daughters and my student all the time..."You can only worry about yourself. You don't need to worry about anyone else." Also..."you can't know anyone else's story."
I find that a lot of people, after they do something that is hard (lose weight, quit smoking, you name it) apparently think it's OK to put on their judging hats and have opinions about those who haven't gotten there yet.
If they ask how you did it...then tell them...feel free to offer to go bike riding with them...but if they aren't ready to start on the journey yet...then they aren't ready...and all the judgement in the world isn't going to make them ready.0 -
I've been thinking about this for a long time...
I've lost 60-65 lbs...I'm 5' 11" I wasn't the largest person ever, but the difference is night and day of how I used to look. I went from size 42 pants to 34 (32 will fit, but i like my clothes loose)
Every time an obese person that I've known for a long time sees me...they ask what my "secret" was...
I tell them I try to eat better, I stopped drinking booze and soda, I joined a gym, and I bike ride. I tell them I have a spare bike and they are welcome to join me whenever...
Their eyes glaze over...
Then they proceed to tell me about their thyroid, marketing by high fructose corn syrup companies, their bad back, irritiable bowel syndrome, their hang nail, cooties or whatever other BS, imaginary condition or affliction is preventing them from even making an attempt at eating better or doing SOME exercise.
I know that in my case fatness was due to my laziness...I think the same holds true for %99.9 of fat people...but they just aren't willing to admit it.
I don't always judge fat people
But when I do, I do it on MFP.0 -
I can understand how they might feel. I don't judge I empathize. I might think to myself they want to change but the process is so overwhelming and trying and failing has made them weary of ever attempting. But one day, or one moment they will do it and achieve it by starting small because every journey starts with one step at a time.0
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