What do you think of fat people after losing weight?

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Replies

  • matthew_b
    matthew_b Posts: 137 Member
    I think the problem the OP is referring to is when people ask you "how you did it" expecting a magic bullet response. Then when you tell them it's really about hard work, dedication and patience their eyes glaze over and they deflect to the same old excuses. I haven't even lost that much weight and am still considered obese and ive still encountered this. Its not every time, or only from obese people but it does happen a lot.

    I can't speak for the OP, but this is how I read that too. It's the presumption that somehow you've figured out some trick, some easy way. And it's a bit infuriating because it minimizes what I've done so far.
  • ozigal
    ozigal Posts: 173 Member
    I get people asking me how I did it all the time and I tell them it's exercise and diet and yes, their eyes glaze over BUT worse still is when I see someone who is fat, sitting somewhere and forcing food down their mouths I just feel like saying to them that they don't need to be like that and that they can change who they are because I feel that if I have done it, anyone could do it. Naturally I dont say anything but I want to.

    When I was morbidly obese, the last person I would admit that I wasnt happy to was myself. I always pretended that I was okay with how I looked but I wasnt and I doubt that anyone in the same position as I was would be truely happy with how they are. Unfortunately people have to realise that for themselves or they wont make changes. You cannot force someone to commit to a healthier change in lifestyle. I guess in a way, being obese is like being an alcoholic. Until you face your demons, you can't change and few people are willing to do that.
  • mccbabe1
    mccbabe1 Posts: 737 Member
    My fatness wasn't because I'm lazy...I work harder and stay more active than most thin people I know. However, binge eating disorder did me no favors at all. Once I went to counseling and was able to get a hold of my emotions, the weight started coming off.

    So, yes, I do think a lot of people are just lazy. However, many of the obese are dealing with emotional difficulties as well that make a life change more difficult. I do my best not to judge...I just wish they were willing to listen to how easy weight loss can be. Honestly, if I could do my college career over again, I would have majored in psychology/nutrition to help obese people lose weight and deal with the emotional aspects of it.

    BUMP!.. ..
  • mccbabe1
    mccbabe1 Posts: 737 Member
    some peeps don't relate or don't "want" to relate over wt/obese with emotional eating! and its soo true.. it is for me for sure... i'm not a heavy drinker nor do I do drugs..so.. for an 'outlet'... food!!! and it LEGAL! lol.. and is well.. GOOD and available and does do a 'comfort' to an extent! so yeah and I NEVER thought I would be able to loose 40 pound! most I ever lost at once is 20 (2 diff times) and on weight watchers... joined mfp and lost 41 in 4mo.. have maintained 6 mo and am ready to get the rest off.. about 20 more.. but I still do stress eat/emotional eat.. just lot less portion wise and not as often.. and i seek prayer and coucil for it.. and I too am NOT lazy! and wasnt when i was 40 pounds more... and really loosing wt is like 85% FOOD and 10% exercise 5% genetics (give or take) so yeah u 'can' be 'lazy' and loose wt.. not exercise you wont necesarrily look that great though.. cuz exercise tones/sculpts
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    This has suddenly put a lot in perspective for me: I'm not saying I should stop trying to get in better shape, but that I should stop grumbling so much and filling my head with self-loathing and instead realize how blessed I am. We've all got something someone else wishes they had. We should focus on the good and be proud!

    ^^^ THIS!
  • rafat1
    rafat1 Posts: 2
    Hi,
    Can you please tell me your workout plan and diet plan (if you have some especial plan). I myself loss 20 lbs from March 15th to June 5th, 1013.
  • squiggyflop
    squiggyflop Posts: 148 Member
    Well, now that I know how easy it is to lose weight I tend to become a little annoyed when people say they are trying to lose weight and then the next day they have already given up and are eating a 3000 calorie dinner in front of me. They ask how I am doing it, and I tell them. They say they will try and they dont. I have a lot of difficulty understanding this type of behavior. It is like when I quit smoking. For me it was as simple as not buying the cigarettes anymore when they hit 5 bucks a pack. Other people seem to make the act of quitting into a giant ordeal. Perhaps I am simply gifted with extraordinary stubbornness. I tend to have the same reaction whenever my stubbornness allows me to do something that non-stubborn people cannot seem to do without giving up. I dont feel judgmental when an overweight person doesnt want to lose weight. If they are happy with their body then so am I. My annoyance seems to only kick in when they voice their displeasure at being fat and seem to be unable to simply will themselves to eat less food. Again, I seem to have an iron will when I decide to do something, and I tend to automatically assume other people do too. Then I have to tell myself that I have the advantage of having been nearly supermodel thin in my teen years so I know how skinny people eat. So basically instead of breaking old habits to become thin, I am just bringing back old habits that I used to have long ago.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I think people have a misconception that to lose weight, they need to exercise. And if they have health problems, they can't exercise.

    The fact of the matter is that exercise will help, but losing weight can be done simply by eating less.
  • ProudMom2Jade
    ProudMom2Jade Posts: 18 Member
    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
    I totally agree! I am older so I think I have a different perspective. I gained weight in my 20's and lost it. I gained weight in my 30's and lost it. I gained weight when pregnant with my kids and I just now lost it. In my 20's when I gained weight I was eating a lot and making poor choices. Losing the weight was a matter of jsut making better choices. This time it was twice as easy to gain weight and twice as hard to lose it! In my 20's it was eating a half gallon of icecream in a day. In my 30's it was a pint in a day. In my 40's it is a regular serving. An extra 200 calories a day adds on fast! I feel so bad for my friend who is a little older than I am. She eats better than I do but is gaining instead of losing. It is jsut sad. She has thyroid issues and even though she has medication it isn't enough. She told me what she eats in a day and most people would be THIN eating that. Then I know thin people who eat 3 times as much. It really isn't fair to assume that someone who is overweight is jsut lazy or doesn't care as much about themselves as a thin person. However there are times that I do feel like people would rather make excuses than changes. However I wouldn't judge unless you really know the situation. There is a thin person making worse choices than the person you are judging.
  • DragonSquatter
    DragonSquatter Posts: 957 Member
    I agree with the OP. It irritates me seeing people make lame-o excuses for the shape they're in. I got fat because I ate too much and sat on my butt too much. Getting unfat by eating less and busting my *kitten* in the gym.
  • Tonnina
    Tonnina Posts: 979 Member
    I was 270lbs and thought nothing of my size when I was fat until a health scare. I think for some people that can be the kick in the pants they need.

    As for how I see super obese people now, I worry for them. I long to run up to them and tell them about my story... But I'm sure that'll just p!ss most of them off.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    We all fight our own demons, but I still believe that the majority of us have what it takes to slim down and be healthy. The fact that the majority of us are overweight means that most of us just don't care enough about it, don't think it's important enough to fight for.
  • Mavrick_RN
    Mavrick_RN Posts: 439 Member
    One of my pet peeves is the phrase, "If I can do it anybody can do it"

    I believe each and every person has to find their own bottom line and say "I will change" I like the way one poster said it .... People would rather make excuses than changes. When you are ready to change you find solutions to your excuses. I have a medical issue (arthritis) and found the elliptical and bicycle as my solution. I have time issues (work nights) and found I can get my exercise in 1 hour a day. I don't cook and am apparantly not willing to learn, so I buy pre packaged salads and make sandwiches to take to work.

    I don't waste much energy on fat people who whine, complain or make excuses. I just say when you're ready you will find a way.

    To the folks who are puttin' out the effort. GOOD ON YOU AND Wa HOO. You're my friend and don't even know it!
  • just because someone wants to know how you got thin doesn't mean they are ready to start their journey
  • kbeech06
    kbeech06 Posts: 328 Member
    Well,now that I know how easy it is to lose weight I tend to become a little annoyed when people say they are trying to lose weight and then the next day they have already given up and are eating a 3000 calorie dinner in front of me. They ask how I am doing it, and I tell them. They say they will try and they dont. I have a lot of difficulty understanding this type of behavior. It is like when I quit smoking. For me it was as simple as not buying the cigarettes anymore when they hit 5 bucks a pack. Other people seem to make the act of quitting into a giant ordeal. Perhaps I am simply gifted with extraordinary stubbornness. I tend to have the same reaction whenever my stubbornness allows me to do something that non-stubborn people cannot seem to do without giving up. I dont feel judgmental when an overweight person doesnt want to lose weight. If they are happy with their body then so am I. My annoyance seems to only kick in when they voice their displeasure at being fat and seem to be unable to simply will themselves to eat less food. Again, I seem to have an iron will when I decide to do something, and I tend to automatically assume other people do too. Then I have to tell myself that I have the advantage of having been nearly supermodel thin in my teen years so I know how skinny people eat. So basically instead of breaking old habits to become thin, I am just bringing back old habits that I used to have long ago.

    Really??? Glad you've thought it easy....for most of us, its not though!
  • 77cole
    77cole Posts: 12 Member
    I don't think anything. I don't judge. That person could be successfully losing weight but not have reached their goal yet.
  • truddy6647
    truddy6647 Posts: 519 Member
    As I skim through these post, it amazes me how much people either agree with the op or tell how easy it is to lose weight. However, what works for one person may not work for the next person. With that being said, what one person's idea of fat may be different from the next. Because of this everyone's journey is unique, weather they choose not to lose weight, or feel that they can not, or do lose weight, we should not judge them based on their choices.

    Me personally, losing weight has not been easy. It has been an up hill battle. I have been obese all my life and never under 200lbs in my adult life. What I have learned is that what works for some does not always work for others. I have many hormone imbalances and are a constant struggle keeping them in check. What has helped me this time is a pcp willing to test my levels more often making adjustments as I go. Doing so has helped me get as far as what I have thus far. In the past I would lose 10lbs and stop and eventually gain it back plus some than have levels checked to find that my meds need to be adjusted. (which often times was after I gained 20lbs besides the 10lbs I lost) Going through this cycle was hard and trying to get my pcp to listen to me about was even harder. Now with a pcp who does listen has been great. While my hormones are still out of wack at least my thyroid is getting more stable. I think the med. community is still learning about genetics and how hormones affect a person and if they are not at the right levels this can have big effects.

    So for me, what do I think of fat people, well I am still fat, and think when they are ready to start their journey they will. If they don't that is their choice. Who am I to judge what is right for that person, I have not walked in their shoes, nor have they walked in mine.
  • KuriChan44
    KuriChan44 Posts: 18
    One of my pet peeves is the phrase, "If I can do it anybody can do it"

    I believe each and every person has to find their own bottom line and say "I will change"

    That`s very true, and it`s something I try to remember.
  • Mattdemon
    Mattdemon Posts: 79
    The context of this thread has sort of derailed from the title but I guess I'd think..

    "Good job! Amazing!"

    ;)


    The other question seems to be, "What do you think of 'fat' people who aren't willing/ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle".

    <3
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    The context of this thread has sort of derailed from the title but I guess I'd think..

    "Good job! Amazing!"

    ;)


    The other question seems to be, "What do you think of 'fat' people who aren't willing/ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle".

    <3


    It's entirely cultural. In some places and times, fat is a sign of wealth. "Ideals" change, and the shallow preoccupation with comparing oneself to others in the OP is kind of sad. It's natural, but it's not good and in my case anyway, it's something I strive to eliminate from my thinking. For instance, when I first read the OP, I thought "that's a bit self righteous for a guy who wears American size 34 pants". But then I remind myself it's relative, and 34 pants once felt like an accomplishment. Now it's 28, and my current 30-31 feels like an accomplishment, and 34 feels like fat pants.
  • Mattdemon
    Mattdemon Posts: 79
    The context of this thread has sort of derailed from the title but I guess I'd think..

    "Good job! Amazing!"

    ;)


    The other question seems to be, "What do you think of 'fat' people who aren't willing/ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle".

    <3


    It's entirely cultural. In some places and times, fat is a sign of wealth. "Ideals" change, and the shallow preoccupation with comparing oneself to others in the OP is kind of sad. It's natural, but it's not good and in my case anyway, it's something I strive to eliminate from my thinking. For instance, when I first read the OP, I thought "that's a bit self righteous for a guy who wears American size 34 pants". But then I remind myself it's relative, and 34 pants once felt like an accomplishment. Now it's 28, and my current 30-31 feels like an accomplishment, and 34 feels like fat pants.

    Oh yea, of course it's completely relative. Gotta respect the dudes who prefer some girls with a badonkadonk too!
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    The context of this thread has sort of derailed from the title but I guess I'd think..

    "Good job! Amazing!"

    ;)


    The other question seems to be, "What do you think of 'fat' people who aren't willing/ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle".

    <3


    It's entirely cultural. In some places and times, fat is a sign of wealth. "Ideals" change, and the shallow preoccupation with comparing oneself to others in the OP is kind of sad. It's natural, but it's not good and in my case anyway, it's something I strive to eliminate from my thinking. For instance, when I first read the OP, I thought "that's a bit self righteous for a guy who wears American size 34 pants". But then I remind myself it's relative, and 34 pants once felt like an accomplishment. Now it's 28, and my current 30-31 feels like an accomplishment, and 34 feels like fat pants.

    Oh yea, of course it's completely relative. Gotta respect the dudes who prefer some girls with a badonkadonk too!

    My personal preference is "girls who say yes"

    I just feel like none of this should be stated in moral terms. It's part of a belief system based on a religious notion of gluttony as a deadly sin. I say, bull****! Obesity is a personal problem only if it conflicts with your personal goal, and a societal problem only because it conflicts with societal goals.

    We want to believe we accomplish things all by ourselves, because it feels good. But in reality, we are basically products of our environment, with completely mutable identities. Phenotype is merely the interface between genetics and environment. That's anti romantic, yes, but realistic. It's real enough that smart money is going to research which develops ways to manipulate entire populations into eating more, and unfortunately, the only way to counter that is with some kind of intervention on the group level.
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.
    THIS :)

    For me personally, yes I was lazy at times but I wasn't happy so i thought whatever what's the use. it wasn't until i was truly happy with myself and with my life that i figured out I'm worth the hard work. I'm still huge, but I work harder now and i don't want to jinx it...but so far so good :)
  • littlecrystal
    littlecrystal Posts: 110 Member
    I agree that everyone battles their battles in their own time.
    You have no idea how hard I try to lose weight. My story is that I count my calories carefully most of the days but I lose it after 8pm and spoil the whole day of successful counting. Emotional issues behind the “laziness” is a big problem. I feel defeated and hardly positive. If I add how many times I lost the same 10lbs and gained it back, I would be very slim….
    Hence I have no right to judge others.
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

    This. I try not to judge people. Even at 215 pounds I still ran 5 miles 3 days a week but bulimia, later a binge eating disorder, not taking responsibility for my eating habits, and feeling defeated meant that I wasn't losing weight. You don't know the battles people are fighting so when I'm asked the question of what my "secret" is I tell them "healthy eating, junk in moderation, moving more. Nothing more. Nothing less."
  • bug1106
    bug1106 Posts: 31 Member
    I agree with you in some sense however, in my case its not about eating healthy or exercising. I work out everyday and try to make the best decisions with every meal. I still struggle with my weight. I f you are talking about the ones who eat mcdonalds every day and then complain, Im there with ya. But there are cases where there are people who run, bike, eat healthy and are still large.
  • somanyrhoades
    somanyrhoades Posts: 107 Member
    For me it's very frustrating. I work in a physical rehab at one of the top hospitals in the country. Most of our patients are stroke patients and joint replacements. 90% of them are overweight or obese. And many of the conditions they have that contributed to their stroke or joint replacement necessetiy could be controlled through diet and exercise. People are coming in now having strokes in their 30's and 40's due to obesity and sedentary lifestyle, which increase the risk for high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes, both huge risk factors for many conditions including stroke. I do think a lot of it is poor education to some extent. I mean we know that all the processed garbage on the shelves of grocery stores isn't good for, but I don't think some people realize how bad it is. I know in parts of the city where I live there aren't even real grocery stores nearby. And also think many people have got into the mindset that "oh, I have diabetes? Well I can just take a shot" or "I have high blood pressure, there's a pill for that." I think the fact that there are treatments available for medical conditions associated with obesity is one contributing factor to why people don't want to lose weight. It's not always laziness... There have been a lot of good posts about other factors, and anyways, it's really not for us to judge others... Everyone has their own story... Perhaps they are very poor and have to eat from a food bank, or maybe they are struggling with a physical ailment that doesn't allow them to exercise. Yes, some people use these things as excuses, but sometimes they are real concerns. Instead of judging their responses as "excuses" maybe offer them some education or teach them how to read a label or tell them about a friend with hypothyroidism who had success. I think that will be more helpful to them then just rolling your eyes.
  • Mr_Excitement
    Mr_Excitement Posts: 833 Member
    I'm always impressed by people who lose a lot of weight, because changing your lifestyle is not easy. But it really is something like an alcoholic's 'moment of clarity'-- I mean, people change when they decide they've had enough, and not a minute before.
  • What do I think of them? I don't, unless it's a passing "good for them." I'm too busy worrying about my own problems.

    Unless you're asking what I think of them after I've lost weight. Again, I don't.
  • sherrin567
    sherrin567 Posts: 13
    I do believe that everyone gets there in their own time. For me I had a "zillion" reasons why I was heavy and could not lose weight. No time, have to cook for my family, unfair for them to have to eat "healthy" food, counting calories is too hard, weighing food is too time consuming, I have no spare time for exercise, no spare money to join a gym......... endless reasons. And then one day I decided to make myself a priority and I found a way to do it. I still have a fair amount to go but I won't judge anyone else who is not "there" yet.