What do you think of fat people after losing weight?

Options
1…567911

Replies

  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    Options
    I don't THINK anything. Just because a person is still fat, doesn't mean they haven't made any progress. Don't assume anything about anyone. The following quote can apply to weight-loss/fitness as well as life in general.

    "People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost."
    — Dalai Lama
  • staplebug
    staplebug Posts: 189
    Options
    ...they ask what my "secret" was...

    I tell them I try to eat better, I stopped drinking booze and soda, I joined a gym, and I bike ride. I tell them I have a spare bike and they are welcome to join me whenever...

    Their eyes glaze over...

    Sounds like they're not ready to hear it yet. They want to live in their excuses, like it's not possible for them to lose weight and they feel sorry for themselves. I thought I had a lot of excuses to hide behind, then I got to the point where I couldn't stand being in my body anymore. I learned how to do it right and I have no excuses anymore. AND I'm happy!

    It's also really hard to see my mom living in those kinds of excuses. She has the time, the resources, but not the mindset yet. It's been back and forth for YEARS. When I got in shape, she started wanting to get in shape too, but again, the excuses. It's hard to see her struggle and have to stand back--if I were to push her, she'd withdraw again. As others have said, it has to come from within, not from someone telling you to get in shape (if that were the case, she would have taken her doctor's advice to lose weight as well).
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    Options
    I treat them just like I would treat any other person. Based on BMI standards I have never been overweight or obese, but I have plenty of friends and family members who are. I try to support all of my friends to the best of my ability.
  • Kettle_Belle14
    Kettle_Belle14 Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    Although I've never been obese, I was quite overweight some years ago. It's not easy, but there are some baby steps one can take to jumpstart the weight loss process and it's quite simple: Soda intake. Once I cut out soda/sweet tea (sweet tea was a huge deal for me, and now I only drink it as a treat now and again) the initial 10 lbs practically jumped off me. This is what I tell people when they ask how I did it. I think once people see the initial weight disappear, they are more motivated to keep going.

    I think sometimes when we give advice like "counting calories and exercising" people are turned off b/c they don't know where to begin. Instead of judgement try specific advice and I doubt you'll get the eyerolls.
  • Fedup23
    Fedup23 Posts: 80 Member
    Options
    I have found it rather odd now I am small ( 111lbs ). Fat people look at me funny and almost with a nasty look. I was fat because I ate too much, ate high calorie and didn't move. I live in a country town and I started a small facebook group for weight loss support plus I had my name as "lose weight " on my facebook profile so everybody knows who I am now. Thing is I am rather over being asked how I did it, mainly because when you tell them I ate a calorie controlled diet and sweat buckets on my exercise bike they like you say " glaze over ". I also have found that If I order a foot long subway ( half for my husband ) the fat people stare at me as if to say " you wont eat all that " as they are getting footlongs for themselves. buying a chocolate treat gets a few looks as well. I hate to say it but overweight people can be quite " fattist " against slim people. Maybe anyone reading this who is still losing weight, please don't judge or give looks to slim people, I have been called a " skinny ***** " in jest but I don't find it funny at all, I mean I don't call people a " fat ***** " it is a whole new world being small I tell you.

    I seriously doubt that YOU are in the thoughts of the people behind you in line.. get over yourself. Maybe you are HOPING that they are considering your size and food choices.. but I think its just your over active ego. Sorry to be blunt.
  • larodriguez02
    larodriguez02 Posts: 106 Member
    Options
    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

    I agree with this. i also think laziness is a major factor, it is for me, but there is more to it then that. For me I just wasn't READY until now, Depression had was a MAJOR factor for me, I think that's why the motivation wasn't there. Its not as simple as just laziness.
  • LilMissDB
    LilMissDB Posts: 133
    Options
    Until I go to my grave maintaining at my now-healthy weight, I won't judge.

    Because until that day arrives, I could gain it all back again meaning I'm no better nor worse than anyone else who struggles to lose weight.

    So true. The first time I lost 50kg it was easy peasy. One of the easiest things I've ever done actually. I was amazed how easy it was. I slowly gained 5kg then I lost 20kg, this time, it was hard work - I went to the gym several hours every day doing high intensity cardio and weight programs and maintained a strict calorie deficit. Eventually, I graduated and started work and didn't have 8 hours a day to spend in the gym. I continued to count calories but it caught up with me and the weight came back on. I find losing weight really hard, this third time around.
  • miadhail
    miadhail Posts: 383 Member
    Options
    The biggest issue that I've personally seen is that some become "snobs" to others that haven't lost weight. That because they lost weight, that they on a "higher level" than those that didn't. They'll criticize how others eat, when a few months ago they were eating the same way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    ^ so agree! Always remember to stay humble regardless how much you have achieved (weight loss or not), don't judge!
  • JCES10
    JCES10 Posts: 37 Member
    Options
    I agree, laziness is one of the factors why too many people are overweight but in my case it was a mix of that plus my ignorance about food as energy, see I'm still learning how to eat (fill my tank) properly.
  • NikiChicken
    NikiChicken Posts: 576 Member
    Options
    I think everyone fights their own battles on their own timeline and for their own reasons.

    THIS, absolutely, one hundred times over!!!!!!
  • pestopoli
    pestopoli Posts: 111 Member
    Options
    My fatness wasn't because I'm lazy...I work harder and stay more active than most thin people I know. However, binge eating disorder did me no favors at all. Once I went to counseling and was able to get a hold of my emotions, the weight started coming off.

    This is right on - I had to go to counseling to deal with my binge eating. I had to do a lot of emotional work before the physical and dieting work made any difference.

    I also had to completely rearrange my life: new bedtimes and rise times, new FRIENDS, new habits - Everything. It wasn't just about eating less or exercising more. My eating was disordered because my whole life was disordered.

    That was a crucial understanding for me: I needed to reorder my whole life, and it wasn't easy. SO when I see a person still struggling with a lot of weight I think - they may be trying, they may have already lost some weight, they may be struggling with binge eating and not know it, or they may have not yet realized that they are going to have to redesign their whole life.
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
    Options
    I know that in my case fatness was due to my laziness...I think the same holds true for %99.9 of fat people...but they just aren't willing to admit it.

    This isn't my first time losing this weight, so I have a whole other perspective.

    When I see someone who is obviously unhappy with their weight, I sympathize first and foremost. And if they ask me what I have done to lose mine, I give a brief explanation and offer my support, up to and including inviting them to walk or work out with me and introducing them to MFP. Some have taken me up on it and some haven't, but I've done my best to share what I can. That's what I can do as a friend; the rest is up to them.

    I suggest you make every attempt to cultivate compassion for people who have not succeeded as well as you have in this battle... You may not realize it, but you will be fighting this battle for the rest of your life. If you ever relax back into your old habits, your weight will find you again.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    Options
    Gosh, it would be nice if people could separate body weight from moral judgements. Sounds all Nathaniel Hawthorne up ins.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    Options

    they may have not yet realized that they are going to have to redesign their whole life.

    ^^^^^^^^^ this right here.
  • MGwasp
    MGwasp Posts: 16
    Options
    As I started to read this, I felt a little defensive. Some people actually do have sever thyroid problems. I was on a 1500 calorie diet and working out 5-7 days per week and I gained 60 lbs it 2 years. Granted, they were suppressing my thyroid for medical reasons. When that stopped, it took three years to get the TSH levels to somewhat normal levels. I have struggled so hard to lose it and wrong diets have lowered my metabolism. I am now going to someone who knows what she is doing and they found that I didn't have enough usable (converted) thyroid. I now for the first time in 10 years have managed to move the scale in the right direction. We need to stop the blame and shame game and just look as these people a sufferers who may not have the tools or the metabolism to stay motivated. In our country 33% of us are considered obese. I personally try to show compassion.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Options
    It's funny...I see overweight people completely differently now...even though I'm still technically obese myself. First of all, I notice them more, which is a little weird. Second, I don't judge them, but I just want to encourage them that they can totally lose the weight if they want to. I want to tell them how they can make changes, and how it will make their life so much better. I feel a little sad for them, too, because I know they will most likely pay a price for being overweight (poor health), and that they are probably already paying a price with a diminished quality of life.
  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,039 Member
    Options
    Since I was a fit person, who got fat, got fit again, and then got fat again (And, fixing it now, hopefully for good this time); I tend to agree with the OP.

    I even posted something on FB once, and got an earful on how "I can't help what my body is! Stop being so judgmental!" Can't remember the exact thing, but it was something along the lines of,"If you're fat, you've got nobody to blame but yourself".

    Even the "Real girls have curves" crowd irks me. A lot of overweight ladies seem to think that it should be acceptable that they are overweight (And, to be fair, many overweight men think so as well).

    I for one cannot fathom why being obese should ever be considered "normal". It isn't. It's unhealthy. It'll kill you.

    Now, I just don't even bother saying anything like it. I find people on my fitness level, who have already figured it out, and are taking it into their own hands to rectify it, and I associate with them, and brag about killing a hill, or I get made fun of for not having ever had a top distance record in our group yet.
  • mamadon
    mamadon Posts: 1,422 Member
    Options
    My fatness wasn't because I'm lazy...I work harder and stay more active than most thin people I know. However, binge eating disorder did me no favors at all. Once I went to counseling and was able to get a hold of my emotions, the weight started coming off.

    So, yes, I do think a lot of people are just lazy. However, many of the obese are dealing with emotional difficulties as well that make a life change more difficult. I do my best not to judge...I just wish they were willing to listen to how easy weight loss can be. Honestly, if I could do my college career over again, I would have majored in psychology/nutrition to help obese people lose weight and deal with the emotional aspects of it.



    This
  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,039 Member
    Options
    As I started to read this, I felt a little defensive. Some people actually do have sever thyroid problems. I was on a 1500 calorie diet and working out 5-7 days per week and I gained 60 lbs it 2 years. Granted, they were suppressing my thyroid for medical reasons. When that stopped, it took three years to get the TSH levels to somewhat normal levels. I have struggled so hard to lose it and wrong diets have lowered my metabolism. I am now going to someone who knows what she is doing and they found that I didn't have enough usable (converted) thyroid. I now for the first time in 10 years have managed to move the scale in the right direction. We need to stop the blame and shame game and just look as these people a sufferers who may not have the tools or the metabolism to stay motivated. In our country 33% of us are considered obese. I personally try to show compassion.

    I agree, there are some with thyroid problems. I know one woman who cycles at least 25 miles a day, and works 3 jobs. She is severely obese. She HAS to have some sort of thyroid issue.

    What irritates me is when a vast number of obese people try to start blaming: Metabolism, thyroid, lack of time to exercise, etc etc.
  • CristyMusicLovr
    CristyMusicLovr Posts: 179 Member
    Options
    In my case for example, friends that invited me to go exercising where in a much better physical shape, so I wasn't going running when I knew I wasn't going to keep up with my friend...they didn't try pushing me! it was more of I can beat you thing and they just left me in the dust lol. So I would just say no for the next invites and started doing things on my own and at my own level. I had a back surgery when I was 14 so I do truly have an "excuse" lol but I don't usually throw it out there because I don't like people feeling sorry for me but umm you really can't judge people sometimes they might look healthy but they could really be in pain and are not using an making up an excuse.

Categories