Why do people say that?

Weird, I meant to quote mcope. lol

thanks! I really do think alot of it has to do with what our brain has been trained to see as normal. Meaning...What we see everyday on the normal people (not advertising) is what we begin to see as normal and acceptable. So when we see someone that is actually healthy normal weight we see them (with our minds eye) as ultra skinny or even unhealthy.

We all need to retrain our brains some more than others. I know I still have screwed up weird pictures of myself in my head its just going to take some time for me to retrain my brain.

I get this too, I have gone so far as to get on the scale for people when they don't believe me when I tell them my weight. You could always become friends with models :laugh: or a modeling agent! They would support you no problem and probably tell you you still have to lose weight when you get to your goal weight :bigsmile:

THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS CAUSE I AM GETTING SO FREAKING TIRED OF THIS :explode: I am freaking 228 lbs. (have lost 55) and I say I want to get to 135 by next year and everyone, I mean everyone is telling me that I would look wayyyyyy too skinny. Everyone wants me to stay around 150 and some have said you just need to drop another 10 lbs. cause you look fine :noway: This is the face I put when they say this :grumble: I swear it is because they are like don't make me look bad. I am so freaking annoyed I feel like slapping them silly and saying 228 is not healthy!!! Sheesh!!! Just keep doing what you are doing and go to a weight and look YOU are happy with because after all we are doing this for our own happiness not everyone else's :drinker:

People say that to me too and I'm 30 - 35 lbs overweight. I carry it really well though, I definitely have a 'Beyonce'-like body (well....I think she carries her weight a lot better, lol). My hips are curvy and wide. I love them to death but they need to shrink, just a little!

Don't worry about it. It's your body. And you aren't losing weight in a frantic, 'Oh my god I can't see every single one of my ribs' kind of way, so just don't worry about it!!

Another idea.... if you take off the weight you will be healthier and look better than they do. People are always comparing themselves to others and thinking "if he/she looks ok at XX lbs then I am better at XX-5 lbs". They are just trying to justify to themselves that it is ok to be overweight, even if it is just 5-10 lbs. When you lose weight you are changing the status quo and they will feel bad about themselves. So... they don't want you to lose that much weight and rock their boat. They would rather have you bigger and more unhealthy than they are to make them feel good about themself. They get to feel superior to you.

I think people have a new perception of a healthy weight... like 170 looks average, so they figure that's healthy. There's just more overweight people out there, raising the 'average' weight. Well, not just... people also compare others to themselves. So, their perception of themselves will determine their estimation of weight in others.

I think it is more about how some people say they notice our weight losses. The ones with no tact are the ones that come off saying things like "wow you are just wasting away" in front of a crowd. Those are the ones that annoy me. The ones that come up and say something like "You look great." or "Who's this new girl oh it's Ruth!" when its just us or one or two people. I am okay with since I know they are good natured and are usually followed by the question "How are you doing it?" While the ones that have no tact I am noticing are usually people that have also yo-yo dieted or on some fad diet and want to draw attention away from themselves or get in a big discussion about weight loss.

Sorry to dig up an old topic, but I'm getting frustrated with people saying things like this on MFP, of all places! A few times I've had people actually message me chastising me for being here and losing weight based on my profile picture, of all things! I've also seen similar things happening to other users in the forum!

First of all, it is a big leap to assume that a person's profile picture is recent. Heck, it might not even be the person. In my case, for example, the picture is over 2 years old. I just happen to like the way I look in that photo, it's one of my favorite photos of me. I'm still not overweight, but I have gained enough since then that I do have weight to lose.

Second, there are many reasons for being here. The main reason I am here is to gain healthy habits which will last me for the rest of my LIFE. My metabolism isn't going to be this fast forever, nor will my life always be as active as it is in my 20's. Thus, I'd rather convert to a healthy lifestyle now so that I won't have to make major adjustments down the line. Health and fitness is for everyone, even "thin" people (not that I'm especially thin). I guess what I want to say is, STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS and telling people how to live their life! Making healthy changes should be praised, not criticized. Only I know my own BMI, my own weight, my build, etc. Yes, I am in the healthy range for my height already, but so is my goal weight. Only I know what is best for me!

Stop judging people based on their avatar, or assuming you know what's best for them!

OK, sorry about the rant. I'm done now. But hopefully those pesky messages will stop. :]

To the OP: maybe you carry your weight well? (Which doesn't mean you don't need to lose it!) I dated someone who was just slightly taller than me, and we weighed the same (within 5 lbs.). She looked probably 15-20 lbs. heavier than me, though. I've been told I don't look like I'm over 200, but I have been for probably 3 to 4 years now (not really sure, since I didn't weigh myself for a couple years).

I stopped telling people in real life how much I'm trying to lose, because they don't believe I have that much to lose... but I do!

Honestly I find it more discouraging than annoying. I had two friends say similar things to me just yesterday. I'm 5'8" so a healthy weight range would be between roughly 121 and 165 according to MFP so I set an initial goal weight of 140. When I shared this with them they look shocked and disturbed. They seemed to generally agree that I shouldn't get smaller than 180 or I would have the dreaded "my head's too big for my body" look. Ever since then I've been second guessing the goal weight I set for myself. What's more because I've always been over weight and don't know what I'd look like at 140 I'm wondering if maybe they're right. I hate that they put that bug in my ear.........

I am 5'8" as well and I am just 2-3 pounds from my goal weight of 135. I just bought a pair of size 6 pants (wore sz 10 for years) and I was beside myself with excitement! I do not feel that my head is too big for my body - I feel that my love handles are too big for my body!!! I say to keep up the good work b/c you will look amazing before you know it!!