Fining Parents of Bullies

I am a mom of 3. And I have a child that is the one that is always on the receiving end of the hitting, biting, rude words. Things like that. I have always taught my children to respect others and be kind to your friends and if you are angry you use your words and not physcial harm to others. I often wonder why "some" kids are the way they are. Why do they hit, kick, bite, say rude things.....it makes me wonder what they see at home. And I always have blamed the parents. But so many valid points have been brought up here that I never thought of. I never thought that some kidsare just simply mean and they lack the empathy factor. I guess in my naive thinking, I always thought that as longs as they were raised in a nurturing environment, there should be no reason they lack that empathy factor. So I do see where my thinking could be misconstrued however, getting them help and things like that sounds brilliant but in the meantime what do the children do that didn't deserve what this kid dished out? There still has to be some type of consequences for actions that harm others.

I completely agree with you. I think that there should be some sort of punishment for children who bully. And I'm sorry to hear about your child's troubles. Have you considered that perhaps the best approach might be to encourage your children to be able to defend themselves from this sort of behavior both physically and verbally? Thigs like martial arts may help give them confidence in dealing with this behavior.

As a child I was very fearful of confrontation. I was oblivious till I started school that people were mean. I was also slower due to some kinethestic issues, so martial arts probably wouldnt have given me the confidence to confront the faster bullies.

I agree encouraging confidence, but that doesnt always work especially if you have a very overly sensitive child.

Personally being an overly sensitive kid and on the receiving end of bullying. If I had a child who was put to the same situation I would now directly confront the schools, counselor, the parents and the child or children. I would ask for an apology. I would then ask the schools to monitor closely that the behavior doesnt continue, and get that all in writing. If it happens online I would monitor that and directly confront the parent with threats of a suit if it continued. I would then make sure my child got the proper counseling to deal with that feeling of victimization and constantly support that she is a worthwhile person so much better than the weak bullies and one day she will shine above them.

I raise my kids to defend themselves whenever possible. With that being said, if they grow up to be bullies, I pray they get the *kitten* whooping they deserve.

Suspended for 3 days from school.

In High-School, I saw a couple guys in a shoving match and Boy-A knocked the hat off of Boy-B. Well, when Boy-B leaned over to pick up his hat, Boy-A shoved him into a wall and caused him to smack his head against the concrete wall. I stepped between them while a couple other observers picked up Boy-B. Well, Boy-A didn't like this and tried to get me out of the way by swinging at me.

I elbowed him in the face and broke his nose.

We both got a 3-day suspension for fighting.

Despite the witnesses, I was suspended for three days because I stood up to defend a helpless guy from being pummeled, and then defending myself because of a 0-tolerance policy.

( this last comment is said in frustration and not aimed at the OP or anyone else specifically )

It is pathetic enough that in our society, we are teaching kids that they cannot defend others or themselves without being punished, and now some Jack-Holes want to start fining the parents as well? F*** That.

When I was in school, there was a girl being sexually harassed by another boy because she had come out about her sexuality. The school did nothing about it for months. One day, he went too far. She beat the brake shoes off of him. He got an in-school suspension while she got an out-of-school suspension. He never touched her again though.

When I was in school, there was a girl being sexually harassed by another boy because she had come out about her sexuality. The school did nothing about it for months. One day, he went too far. She beat the brake shoes off of him. He got an in-school suspension while she got an out-of-school suspension. He never touched her again though.

And this is exactly where the issue lies with the big outcry about bullying. The one who swings, gets the worst punishment even if they were bullied into snapping in anger and frustration.

If you teach a bully that punching gets him in trouble, then he/she will trip their victim. When that become punishable, then the bully will switch to jabbing thier victim with a pencil in the lunch line.

Once the bully realizes that he/she can get their chosen prey in trouble by calling them names and insulting them to the point where the victim lashes out, the Bully has won.

We try to teach our children that Bullying is wrong, and that's a good thing. We teach them not to fight, but to run to a teacher for help. Not only does this usually mean that the bullied kid now gets it even worse for being a "tattler," but it teaches them, as they grow up, to not stand up for themselves, but to always look for someone else to resolve the issue for them.

a.k.a. raising a generation of pu**ies.

Oh yeah, sounds like a great idea. Let's fine the parents and cause some of these kids to be viciously beaten or emotionally abused by their parents as retaliation for costing them money. Sounds really effing dandy.

My kids have cost me money with their bad decisions and never once have I visciously beaten or emotionally abused them. They have consequences and are made aware of what will happen next time, but never beaten or abused.